Tears to Roses
by xXxVioletSkyxXx
Summary: It's two years before Voldemort's first downfall and Hogwarts is in distress. Can Lily and James fall in love before its too late? Slight, although believable AU, set from June 1975 to October 31st, 1981. IS THE OLD UNREVISED VERSION! Is not getting updated after chapter 56! For the new version, see When We Were Young! VS
1. Last Remarks

'Oi! Prongs!'

I faintly heard my best mate's voice, but as soon as I turned to rise, it disappeared again. That's when I realized that I was staring at Evans.

That girl has it out for me. I mean us, you know, the Marauders. She always seemed to ignore my, our, gazes, and never ceased to amaze me. Her long auburn hair caught the flames reflection perfectly, casting a shadow of beautiful on the common room…

I felt someone shaking me

'James, you have to stop doing that mate. She already hates you; try not to let her kill us on the very first day'

Looking up, I noticed three laughing faces

I scowled 'Blimey, Padfoot. She doesn't hate me. At least, I hope not'

Sirius chuckled and helped me up. Standing, I turned my gaze back to Lily.

She was sitting with a friend in front of the hearth fire. Her back was turned, but even then I could spot her shaking form. The Lily I knew never cried…

I pushed my way through the hordes of Gryffindor's, at one point, knocking Peter to the ground. After what seemed to be a lifetime, I arrived at my not-so-much girlfriend's feet

'Go away, James. Not now' she made out, her form continuing to shudder. Her friend glared at me

'Now, now, let's not get hasty. I can help, you know'

Lily wiped her eyes on her scarlet robes

'No, James, you can't. It was partially your fault'

'_My_ fault? What did I do?'

'You're the one that caused Severus to say that-that _awful_ word'

I crossed my arms and tried to refer silently to that book Sirius had given me for Christmas last year: What to do With a Witch. It didn't seem to have a chapter on my situation.

'She just lost her best-friend.' Lily's consultant spat 'How would _you_ feel if one of your precious little marauder friends abandoned you? Hmm?'

I was liking this girl less and less…

'Who's gone?' I looked around 'All of her friends are here! Oh, does she mean Sniv-'

'Severus!' Lily exploded, chocolate frogs flying off her lap 'Severus Snape! Not _Snivellus!_ This is why you can't help me, Potter! You don't get me!'

With that, she ran out of the common room into the girls dormitories, sobbing her eyes out. Her friend looked at me with clear loathing and turned to comfort her

'Well said, Prongs. Well said.' Sirius clapped in mock salute 'I don't think it could've gone any worse than that mate!'

I scowled at the marauders 'Not now, Padfoot. For all I know, she could be cursing my name to all the girls in her dormitory. I can't believe I did it _again!_'

Remus looked up at me in confusion 'Mate, you've messed up in front of Lily since you were eleven. This won't be the first time you've said that'

'And nowhere near the last.' Sirius jumped in, crowding me in a narrow armchair 'Ah, you fancy her. Why not just admit it?'

I shoved him to the floor 'What good would that do? She hates me now. Well, more than usual. Why oh _why_ does it always come back to Snivellus? That Slytherin's a git'

Peter crawled up from where I pushed him, now in rat form. He climbed into our dormitory without a single squeak

'Well that was dramatic' Remus said, breaking the awkward silence 'I'll just, um, be off to be now. See to it that dear old Wormtail makes it to bed. Well, goodnight'

The common room seemed to clear out soon after that, leaving Sirius and I alone

'Do you,' He cleared his throat 'I mean do you _really_ care about her?'

I looked away in shame 'Yes. I've always fancied Lily'

'Then why do you act that way?'

I glared in his general direction and turned my gaze to the flames. The very same fire that Lily sat before, just ten minutes ago

'I mean, we both know you're better than that.' He said 'You're _so_ much better than Snivellus, I don't understand that girl'

'Or girls in general'

Sirius laughed and leaned back in his armchair 'Ah, I understand women. They loathe over me'

'Sure they do, mate'

'So if you fancy her, go after her! Don't let her get away! Be the brave Potter you are!'

Oh yeah, so brave…

So I picked myself off the floor, cursing Sirius vigorously, and made my way to the girl's dormitory, praying the door wasn't its usual bewitched.

To my ultimate surprise, the door was unlocked, considering it was gone. The doorway was in tatters; its stone walls falling and cracked. Where the door usually was laid a few pieces of shattered wood. A tattered veil rippled despite the lack of wind. I stepped over the wreckage and surveyed the dorm.

It didn't look much different than ours, as the beds and general room size was the same. But what did surprise me was the lack of occupants, I was completely alone.

An eerie silence draped over the room, making me feel claustrophobic

'Lily?' I whispered, hoping with all my heart that she wasn't in here

'Here.' A girl whispered from the corner. She sounded heartbroken, but definitely okay

I fought my way over the room until I stood over her. Her expression was terrified

'Lily?' I asked, touching her face unconsciously 'Lily?'

'I'm, I'm okay. Help me up'

I grabbed her hand and pulled her to standing. Her body shook, then collapsed into my arms. I was too shocked to recognize that she was crying

'Lils, what happened?'

She whipped away a stray tear 'He-he came for me. Severus. The defensive magic didn't stand a chance.

'I don't know how he did it. The boundaries are so well protected. He didn't know the password'

I stared at Lily in shock. He tried to get in?

'But-how…'

Lily stood up and faced me 'He scares me, James. He did this to get to me. I don't know what to do'

'Come with me. You're going to tell Dumbledore'

…

'-_Have_ to, Minerva. The students mustn't know' Dumbledore's voice sounded from behind the door. Lily, who was wrapped in a blanket, hid behind Sirius and I. I hulled her forward and swung open the familiar doors

Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore's conversation seemed to stop immediately, causing me to feel uncomfortable. However, Dumbledore's eyes sparkled at me, completely ruining his demeanor. Professor McGonagall swept up her robes and walked out the doors.

I felt Lily stir against me, breaking me from my daze

'Professor, we um, I mean Lily-'

'What happened, Miss Evans?' Dumbledore interrupted, lacing his fingers together. His eyes seemed to pierce Lily's

'Severus broke into Gryffindor tower, Professor. He tore apart the girl's dormitory, I saw it myself! Sirius burst out, anger rippling across his face

'But how,' Dumbledore asked me 'Did a Slytherin enter Gryffindor if he didn't know its password?'

Lily stood before his desk, a cold stare in her gaze 'I don't know Professor. I was in my dormitory, getting ready for bed when suddenly a loud noise came from the door. I didn't know who it was, considering my friends were on patrol, so I hid behind my four-poster. The banging continued until he broke down the door, throwing pieces of the front entry into the room. He- I mean Severus- then came in and tried to find me. I put a spell on myself so he couldn't see me, but Dumbledore, it was awful!'

Dumbledore didn't give any recognition that Lily nearly screamed the last part, but instead rose from his desk to stand before us

'And how did you learn of this?' He asked Sirius and I

'Well she was crying earlier, so I went to check on her' I replied

'But why was she upset in the first place?' Dumbledore mused to himself 'Whatever could have happened?'

'It was Sniv-Severus, sir' Sirius said earnestly 'He-he called her a Mudblood, Professor'

Dumbledore spun around quicker than I thought was possible 'A Mudblood?'

'Uh, yes sir.' I said

'You may go.' Dumbledore said dismissively. Just as we turned to leave, Dumbledore called back

'Make sure Miss Evans is cared for James. I think you'll find a hot chocolate from the kitchens makes the situation more bearable'

With that, the headmaster shut the door, leaving us alone once again.

…

**Thanks for reading! Don't forget to tell me what you think!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	2. I Wish I May

I wrapped Lily's blanket tighter around her and led us down the famous spiral staircase. Lily seemed to be wrapped in her own thoughts, so I brought up a conversation with Sirius

'So, how are you planning on getting up to Gryffindor?' I asked him, stopping at the base of Dumbledore's office

'Oh, you're asking me, not _yourself_ for example. You know, the _bloke_ with the bloody _invisibility cloak?'_

'But you're the one with _pure genius_ as you put it'

'Wait,' Lily brought up. I had forgotten that she was even there 'You have an invisibility cloak?'

Sirius and I looked at each other. No one was supposed to know about that. It was one of the Marauder secrets

'Um, yes'

'JAMES POTTER! HOW DARE YOU!'

'You know,' Sirius brought up 'It would probably mean more to the bloke if you included his infamous middle name'

'Padfoot…' I said in an icy tone. He happily ignored me

'James Charles Potter' Sirius said, drunk with the overdose of blackmail

'I see nothing wrong with that name' Lily said quietly

I stared at her in bemusement; everyone I knew made fun of my middle name

'Well,' my ex-best mate said cheerfully 'that went better than everyone expected, so now, I think some chocolate has Miss Evans name on it'

…

Twenty minutes and five drinks later, we finally crashed in Gryffindor tower, thoroughly exhausted with the night's endeavours

'Who's up for another butterbeer?' Sirius slurred loudly

'Shhhh! It's four in the morning!' Lily said indigently, throwing a pillow at the accuser

'I think I ought to get him to bed' I said quietly, rising from his chair

'Yes, that's probably the right thing to-to do' Lily's voice abandoned her with yawns

I smiled sadly and led my intoxicated friend up the stairs to our dorm. On the way, he felt the uncanny need to explain his entire love life in detail, (with helpful hand gestures) and explained to me that I needed to understand just how good Carolyn Firtstile was at snogging. I nearly passed out from the breath alone.

After twenty solid minutes of convincing Sirius to get his teeth brushed, a quiet hand knocked on the door

'James? Are you two okay?'

I peeked over Sirius' shoulder to see a befuddled Lily wrapped tightly in a dressing gown. My heart fell to my feet. Of course Lily Evans had to pop in just when I had my best mate passed out in my arms. Brilliant.

I sighed 'Yep, just _peachy_'

She laughed quietly and whipped out her wand, pointing it at Padfoot

'Hey! No jinxing allowed!'

She shushed me and muttered an incantation. A bright blue light flew out of her wand and lifted Sirius to eye level. He, being the idiot he was, murmured something about a duck and flipped over to his side

Lily giggled softly until my ex-best mate was safely tucked into bed

'Well, that was fun' She summed up. I glared at her

'I see fit to assume that "Padfoot" as you Marauders so _lovingly _call him has had firewhiskey?'

I nodded in discernment

She shook her head and held out a hand 'Come on, James. We have some talking to do'

…

Needless to say, that night wasn't wasted. We sat up until the brink of dawn talking, laughing and joking around, Lily's Prefect duties forgotten.

Thankfully, today was a Saturday, meaning that I wouldn't have to stay awake during class, earning us both favors all around.

Sometime between midnight and two, Lily fell asleep; curled up gently in my arms.

So I picked up her sleeping frame and carried her to her full dorm. After checking that the coast was clear, I carefully stepped over the wreckage until I reached an empty bed and placed her in it; making sure I tucked her in. After I bade her goodnight, I realized just how beautiful she truly was. Her curly red hair fanned her face and her calm breathing made me wish I could stay. Since I knew how stupid that was, I simply kissed her forehead and crossed the threshold of the room; only stopping when I heard her mumbling

'No, Mudblood. Severus… James'

Now, I wasn't sure if I heard that correctly. For all I knew, she could be moaning about severs and canes. But, _really _I guess she could be dreaming about me, minus the Severus and Mudblood part of course. I sure hoped that didn't run as deep as I feared.

At one last glance, I saw a girl. Maybe an important one; one that would be with me forever and always. But she hated me; hated all of us, and I wouldn't give up the Marauders for a girl. I mean, she's just _Evans_.

_My_ Evans

And at that very moment, I swore in the moonlight that I would help Lily Evans. Take care of her, mend her broken heart and fill the pieces with me.

Because, as far as I was concerned, she was someone to wait for

**Thanks so much for reading! And if you have a minute, review and tell me what you think :)**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	3. Invisibility Ops

**Now, this fanfic is usually in James POV, but I felt that dear Lily deserved the spotlight for this scene. The poor girl has issues, what can I say?**

**Oh, and on a side note (not that any of you care) this story is in fifth year, taking place right after Snape called Lily a Mudblood. I think it's a good place to start, seeing as though I love Snape, and it hasn't made an appearance yet (from what I know) in fanfics**

**And good gumdrops thanks for sticking with me! It's bound to get better, I promise**

-Lily-

Waking up was the best part of falling asleep.

That lovely veil of haze that blinded your thoughts in early mornings made waking up worth doing. It was relaxing; to say the least considering that the day previous had been anything but calm.

Then I thought back to last night

I couldn't remember coming up to my dorm, not to mention falling asleep, so all of this came at an amusing shock. To think, I spent my evening with James Potter!

Alice was going to kill me

We both swore that we would never fall for someone so… so

Annoying

No, that wasn't the right word. James wasn't annoying, he was just, rather persistent.

In an annoying sort of way.

Yes, that's it; I convinced my self-conscience. James is just an annoying prat that you refuse to acknowledge, let alone talk to. You don't like him, we forbid it

Yeah, that's right. I just forbade myself at nine in the morning. It must strike deep to be that big of a topic this early.

So, in spite of myself, I got up, dressed and landed in the common room with a smile on my face no less than ten minutes, earning myself an empty room.

Well, a _supposed_ empty room

I had just settled down in my favourite armchair when a figure in scarlet sped past me, a broom nearly taking my book right out of my hands.

At second glance, I noticed it was none other than Captain James Potter, late for the first quidditch practice of the season

As he ran past me, something fell out his grip and landing right in front of my armchair. I was more than a little curious now

At a closer glance, it didn't appear that he dropped anything, as the fabric was like running water in my hands. But it was light, and soft, so I decided to try out Potter's infamous invisibility cloak

I heard footsteps behind me, so on second impulse I flung the thing over my body and ran to the door, narrowly missing a stray textbook. I hid before I realized I had to, feeling kind of stupid at my rash actions.

Looking down, I was completely dumbfounded. My body was… gone!

I was foolproof

So I ran down the stair to the fat lady painting and pushed it open with glee, nearly stepping on Filch's cat, who hissed at me. But honestly, I was having far too much fun to care

So I ran down to the quidditch pitch and sat in the nearly empty stands, rubbing my hands together in excitement. This was going to be the best day ever

James, I mean Potter, had just organized the players into a warm-up and was currently flying around the stadium at top speed, stopping every once in a while to dive into the stands, making the few fans there go wild

I was far less than pleased. That git was going to run right through me

I felt like exposing myself. It was wrong, it was stealing, and good gracious Frank Longbottom was going to skewer me

But instead, I pulled the silky cloak tighter around me.

'Oi! Potter! Whens the first game?' a burly sixth year asked, whacking yet another bludger away. I believed his name was Conner McCormish

'The twenty second Conner.' Answered a petite fourth year timidly 'Versus Hufflepuff'

The team laughed 'Hufflepuff? What's the point of practice if we're guaranteed to win?'

'I would agree with you,' James answered, his voice calm yet edgy 'If only we won the cup against them last year, which we didn't. So if anyone has any more complaints, feel free to do laps'

I didn't take them long to shut up after that, and soon after, Potter wrapped up the practice

I was just about to leave when I noticed the captain speeding towards me, a half smile on his lips. This I didn't understand. I was invisible…

But that didn't seem to stop him from scooping me up with his broom handle, and spinning away back onto the pitch.

I struggled and yelled, which only made him more confident. At last, he ripped the hood off my face

'POTTER!' I managed, dizzy by the overwhelming height 'PUT ME DOW-AHHH!'

This git decided that it was a great time to go into a headlong dive, forcing me to seriously reconsider my words, not to mention what to hold on to

So as we sped towards my possible doom, I screamed my apologies to the wind, and we pulled out of the dive at the last second. I fell to the ground in a heap, swearing to myself that I wouldnever _ever_ ride a broom again. I hadn't realized how shaky I was until I tried to stand, making me look like a bigger fool than I already was.

But he caught me, again, and held me until I was steady. I was reluctant to speak

'How'd you know?' I asked carefully

'It wasn't hard.' He said, throwing his broom over his shoulder 'There's a way to tell if you learn how'

I looked down 'I'm sorry for stealing the cloak'

I could imagine him smiling 'No worries Lily. Let's get back to the hall' he lifted up my chin and smiled at me 'Shall we?'

I laughed in spite of myself, together, as friends. Yes, my pride may get in the way, but I was determined to make this work

'And Evans?'

I glanced back at him 'Yes?'

'Don't go spilling my secrets. Someone has to cause mayhem around here'

Of course.

**Thanks again for your patience! **

**And as far as updating goes, it's going to be random: probably every couple days, to a week at most. Who knows what life will throw at me**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	4. When Least Expected

**Truth be told, I really didn't like last chapter. I finished it right after some hard news, so it didn't end up as I originally thought. Oh well. **

**Also, POV won't be restricted to just James and Lily, but it will be relevant on what's happening to them, and Hogwarts**

**Oh, and by the way, I'll try my best to make it canon, as I find they turn out better for my writing. Originality isn't really easy in a world that isn't your own**

**-Silence Nevermore**

-Remus-

I had no idea what had just happened

It seemed like just yesterday that James decided girls were yucky, and one should stay away if they value their sanity. And then suddenly, the git decided to get all friendly with _my_ prefect friend and flirt until with her until his eyes fall out. Oh well, his issue; I guess.

Out of all the Marauders, it wasn't unusual that I discovered him first, as that was the norm with us. I figure it out, James and Sirius charm the suspect, and we all follow Peter to safety.

Or, that's the way it used to be.

Now I was stuck here, barely a week until the full moon, all alone with no one to talk to.

Well, you could try to talk to Peter, but in all honesty, it wasn't worth it. You would have to explain it at least a dozen times before the bloke understood. I really don't know how he's made it this far. Fifth year!

Sirius had also been ignoring me lately; almost like he had a 'lady friend' he didn't want us to know about. Again, not that this was unusual.

But the Marauders knew my 'furry little problem' was going to make an appearance soon. I didn't need to be worrying right now, and Lily flower wasn't helping

I mean, she's always been a good friend, as has been there for me when the other Marauders were too daft to understand, but this was getting out of hand. Someone needed to tell them

And soon, I'll need my friend's back

I would never admit that I was jealous, but if I was, this would definitely classify. Lily and I are _friends_

'Oi, Moony,' Sirius yelled off in the distance. Shortly before he yelled, Ms. Pince had already been correcting him on his tone, and his yelling only made her more irritable. Brilliant, another person who hates me

'Remus?' He asked again, his voice in a forced tone. I almost laughed at his expression

'What.'

'I um, well I need help on my transfiguration essay' he said nervously, flipping his hair out of his eyes

I sighed 'Can't it wait Padfoot? I'm in the middle of something here'

'And just what might that be?'

'Uh, homework'

He smirked 'Of course you are. Probably having secret dirty thoughts about your girlfriend, aren't you?'

'Of course not!'

'Then what are you doing? 'Cause we both know it ain't homework.'

I looked down at my empty parchment. I had nothing to say

'Is it about James?'

I looked up at my best friend 'Of course it's about him, Sirius! None of you seem to spare time for me anymore!'

It came out my mouth before I could stop it, almost like a flood I couldn't control. I slapped a hand over my mouth

Sirius just sighed and looked down

'Of course we have time for you. We all know about your "furry little problem" and aren't about to back out now, especially James. We're family, Remus; and no one is gonna get left behind'

I looked at my best friend with surprise 'You mean it?'

He slapped my shoulder and stood up 'Sure, Remus. And for the record, I doubt Prongs and Lils will last. Who saw it coming, eh?'

I smiled for the first time in weeks 'Not us, I'll tell you that much'

Sirius put on his serious face 'I really do need help on that essay though. Can you give me a hand?'

'You are terrible at transfiguration'

'Thanks Moony'

'I'm here for you mate'

…

Later that night, I stopped in front of Gryffindor tower to wait for lily. We had a Prefect meeting tonight, and I wasn't about to be late; even if it meant skipping dinner

I dug in my pockets until I found the Marauders map. Who knew where that Evans was?

As it turned out, she was in McGonagall's office; staying very still while the professor paced around her. Lily wasn't one to be in trouble, so I assumed that it had something to do with the meeting, as it was Gryffindor's turn to help the heads

Then Lily was right in front of me

She crossed her arms 'Remus? You feeling alright?'

I straightened up and rubbed my eyes 'Yeah, peachy'

She cracked a grin 'Come on then. We can't be late again'

So we walked together to Slughorn's classroom, as that was where the meeting was being held. On the way, she seemed to notice the map

'Hey,' she said softly, taking the map from my fingers 'What's this?'

I ripped it from her grasp and stuffed it in my robes 'Piece of parchment'

She looked taken back 'Quite the parchment, eh? I've never seen you so jumpy, you sure you're feeling okay?'

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes 'Fine, Lily. Come on'

As we entered the classroom, the conversation seemed to stop, causing everyone to stare. Snape smiled at Lily from across the room. I noticed that she ignored his gaze

'Evening, Prefects,' she brought up, perching on a silk armchair. Everyone murmured their greetings and sat in front of her

'Tonight, as the heads are absent, Remus and I shall be running the meeting. They, however, left us a list of topics to discuss'

Lily tugged a piece of parchment into her grasp and opened it carefully

'First off, Slytherin has requested that passwords to their common room will be changed only once a week; for obvious reasons. All in favor?'

Six Slytherin's, one Ravenclaw, one Gryffindor and four Hufflepuff's raised their hands 'Deal. Consider it changed

'Secondly, we need to discuss patrol duties. As usual, you patrol with the other prefect in your house and year two times a week. This rule will not change, however-'

'Why can't we patrol with other houses?' Snape interrupted, reappearing in front of a hidden cabinet 'It doesn't make sense'

Lily didn't even glance in his direction 'It's been this way for centuries. I'm not going to be the witch to change that fact'

But Snape didn't back down 'Why would that be, Lily?'

Lily rebounded off her chair to look Snape in the eye 'Because I'm not a coward Severus Snape! I don't associate with you anymore! I'm not your friend, and what you did was unforgivable! Get out!'

Snape's expression didn't change; in fact, it looked almost serene if you didn't catch the split second eye twitch

'Get away from her Snape,' I said quietly, standing in front of her 'In fact, you could just leave. The meeting's over'

No one dared to move, including Snape, who just stood in front of me glowering in his robes. When the silence was beginning to become unbearable, he swept up his robes and glided from the room. It didn't take long for the room to clear out after that.

Lily hadn't moved from where I left her, in fact, she could still be screaming at Snape; for her eyes were filled with tears. A crisp piece of parchment fell from her fingertips and floated to the floor, it words kissing the ground. She was broken

So without a second thought, I led her by the hand out of the potions classroom and to the common room. She didn't try to resist, so it looked as though I was half-dragging a petrified person through the castle. We arrived in a heap at the entrance to Gryffindor tower, her robes stained with tears

When I said the password, the door swung open to reveal my three best friends, who all were past looking worried. James ran forward and helped me and Lily through the doorway

'What happened?' he asked exasperated as we laid Lily on a couch

'I'm-I'm not sure. On second she was yelling at Snape and the next, well you see'

'But how did you get her up here?' Sirius asked 'I mean you're going to be 'ill' soon!'

I glared at him 'I'm not weak during it'

'But you are irritable' Peter said helpfully. Everyone nodded in agreement

'So Lily just-' James started, sitting beside her 'Collapsed?'

'She's not out, just a little confused' Sirius said, checking her pulse

'Lily?' James asked softly, pushing her hair out of her face 'Lily are you okay?'

She blinked and tried to sit up, but both James and I pushed her back down 'Lily, what happened?'

'It just- got to me' She said quietly 'Snape did'

James eyes seemed to spit fire at the name 'What did he do to you?'

'He-he just talked'

Apparently I wasn't the only one confused 'What do you mean, Lily? All he did is suggest different patrol duties'

'That's it?' Peter asked indigently

'There has to be more than that!' Sirius said 'Lily isn't one to break over words'

'Anyone would break over those' James roared 'A Mudblood!'

'James,' Lily said softly, pulling him back to sitting 'No one can hear you'

'Yes, its best of we all forgot about it' Sirius said, dragging Peter to our dormitory 'goodnight all'

I mumbled my goodbyes to my best friends, following Sirius to the boys dormitories. When I looked back though, the scene surprised me.

I saw two people with gazes for only the other, with tears in the latter's eyes. I had never seen James cry, but a hurting friend brought it out of hi immediately. He was tightly gripping her hand, biting his lip and whispering silently. But Lily understood; Lily always understood, and buried her face in his shoulder. It took all I had in me not to sob, for I too knew how it felt. My mother herself called me a disgrace for something I couldn't help. This is who I am, and now, at fifteen, I was on my own. I knew exactly how she felt, as I had lost my last family.

But this is the way things are, so I walked silently back to my dorm, cursing the pain that this world contained

**Thanks for reading! (and hopefully reviewing :)**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	5. Damaged Beyond Repair

I am a dreamer

**I am misunderstood**

I grew up with a gracious family

**My family never loved me**

I was delighted to learn of my powers

**I was overjoyed to finally get away**

I had a sister who loved me

**I took the beatings alone**

Yes, I am different

**Yet, I am alone**

I met you on a day lost to time

**I remember it down to the second**

I was swinging on a creaky swing set

**I was staring at you from the trees**

I didn't know who I was

**I was forced to remember every day**

My sister watched me with horror

**I discovered someone like me**

I landed as a teardrop, softly on the sand

**I gathered up my courage and walked into the open**

I didn't see him come forward

**I had always been watching**

He told me who I was

**I explained how she was different**

My eyes filled with pleasure

**My heart sparked a fire**

I swore that we would always be friends

**I nodded with true joy**

He actually understood me

**I finally had a friend**

We opened our letters together

**I could hardly wait**

We had both been accepted!

**We would be together at last**

I smiled at my disfigured friend

**I grinned for the first time in years**

We boarded the train together

**I had wanted this my whole life**

We sat beside two boys

**They were the type of people I never understood**

The laughed like they were best friends

**They teased me relentlessly **

I never knew words could run that deep

**She led me out of the compartment**

We sat in another alone

**We talked all the way there**

He smiled all the way there

**Together, we boarded the boats**

And together we walked into the castle

**A woman greeted us there**

She was very tall and stern

**She told us of the school**

And everything that was expected of us

**Those two boys continued to tease me**

I did my best to protect him

**But the deed was done;**

And they would always be enemies

**The Sorting Ceremony took years**

I was too awestruck to speak

**She called up my Lily**

That woman read off my name

**She sat on the stool**

The woman placed the hat on my head

**Before it touched her ears it rang out the name**

It hadn't reached my head when it screamed out Gryffindor

**She danced to the seats of the brave**

He slunk to the bench of cowards

**But we would still be friends**

I knew he was still my friend

…

**The first year went by too fast**

And before long, we discovered our strengths

**I, in Dark Arts**

And I, in Potions

**We still saw each other**

But somehow it wasn't the same

**I had my friends**

And I had mine

**But I was determined to make this work**

This relationship wasn't meant to last

**The Marauders remained my enemies**

Those four friends could never be mine

**But I watched them from a distance**

And I admired from a sneer

**That day, they made an unforgivable joke**

June 16th, the Marauders made a cruel tease

**They disarmed me, and hung me by my ankle**

They embarrassed him, and stripped him of his dignity

**I screamed a curse at them**

James deflected it easily

**Finally, Lily came to my rescue**

At last, I discovered the goings on

**She shrieked at James in horror**

He still didn't back away

**When they finally put me down, my potions book was missing**

When they ended the joke, they ran away laughing

**She tried to help me to my feet**

He rose to standing alone

**She tried to comfort me**

He yelled in my face and swore

**I called her an unforgivable name**

My best friend told me I was a Mudblood

**What have I done?**

What have I done?

**I stomped away in tears**

I collapsed to the grass in tatters

**I had no more friends**

I had no more friends

**Many congratulated me**

Many tried to help

**I pushed them all away**

I walked the road alone

**Something changed that day**

His heart was finally cold

**Who would want to love me?**

Who would care to find me?

**We were no longer friends**

I no longer confided in him

**I grew to accept Death Eaters**

I grew to love James Potter

**We were still the same**

We couldn't be more different

**I'm the son of a coward**

I am the daughter of love

**I abandoned everything but you**

I accepted anything but you

**I have no family left**

My own sister refuses to recognize me

**But that doesn't matter**

How could it not?

**Because I'll always have you**

You could never have me

**I joined the Dark Lord out of fear**

I married James Potter out of love

**And I was happy?**

And I was happy.

**I never stopped thinking of you**

I wish things could be simple

**Because of me, things can never be the same**

Because of hatred, so many families are dead

**The war was nearing an end**

My war was only beginning

**I begged him not to kill them**

I pleaded mercy for my son

**He killed them anyway**

He killed my family in cold blood

**But her son still lives**

My baby boy still cries

**He has her beautiful eyes**

I wish he had us again

**I cradle my love in my arms**

I feel pain beyond measure

**I sob silently into her perfect hair**

I pass silently onto the next

**I swore I would never hurt her**

And now I'm damaged beyond repair

**I promise to protect her son**

He swears to protect my boy

**I'm in love with a dreamer**

I'm in love with another

**That day, something changed**

He no longer trusted the enemy

**I changed perspectives immediately**

He confided in an old friend

**I broke down in tears over a lost love**

But Dumbledore knew he meant it

**I've always admired that man**

He became a distinguished teacher

**I grew to be a bitter man**

He always knew who to trust

**I always knew who the enemy was**

So he lived to protect his world

**And I lied to protect her son**

He grew up to be the bravest of them all

**Potter grew to be just like you**

He has my heart

**And his father's cunning skill**

My son will be the greatest of them all

**But this comes at a terrible price**

He knew my son out of loss

**I loved the boy from afar**

But he always had to die

**And my time has finally come**

He took the role his killing perceived

**I became headmaster to sit in a dead man's throne**

He became what he was told to be

**I was who he said I should be**

And Hogwarts was never the same

**This role should never have been mine**

The students were tortured

**I punished the way it never had been**

He was cruel

**I did what I had to**

And He Who Must Not Be Named trusted him

**And I became his second in command**

Finally, everything was going as planned

**And at last, everything would be as it must**

He always knew he'd die in the end

**The last moments were the worst**

But my son made it last

**Dumbledore was wrong, he made a mistake**

The headmaster did what he could

**I gave him my tears, a promise and memory**

He gave him his all; the explanation he never had

**I knew I died in vain**

He had to die himself; the man I knew he was

**I never knew who won the fight**

I always knew it would be them

**But I was safe, and I was here**

But I was gone, with him till the end

**She saw her son, the boy who lived**

I cried for my Harry, and told him who he was

**Harry Potter died a hero**

But the war had yet to finish

**I saw him there, across the way**

He sat with Dumbledore, he told him everything

**And I was happy**

Because it was finished

**But really, it had only begun.**

Because I am a dreamer

**And I am misunderstood**

…

Thanks for staying with me there! This is one of my favourite not-really-poem formats, and I thought it worked at this point in the story. But don't worry; a new chapter will be up soon

Thanks for reading (and reviewing? :) )

-Silence Nevermore


	6. Diary of a Full Moon

**I just wanted to put out my personal thanks to constant reviewers, skaterofthebooks and ThisLoveHasNoCeiling. Everyone's reviews make me want to write faster! (Not that I'm initiating anything of course)**

**Thanks again!**

**-Silence Nevermore**

-James-

To say the least, nobody's mood improved in the next few days

I was confused, Lily was irritable, and quite frankly, no one was proud about what they had just seen. We had orchestrated it, so to speak.

I didn't want to be the one causing Lily pain again.

That poor girl had seen enough, we all knew it. She had just been abandoned by her best friend; she needed time to recover. And this friendship wasn't working so far

So, I let her be.

I didn't associate with her, didn't tease, and most of all, didn't mention it. The other Marauders caught on and followed suit, as they cared for her too. But we watched, oh did we

I didn't want anybody to hurt like that, as if anyone, she didn't deserve it. Snape might, but not her. Not Lily.

Dumbledore and McGonagall were also watching, as I noticed every meal time in the Great Hall. They did it obscenely, but after years of code making, I understood

'Oi, Padfoot,' I whispered without moving my lips.

'Now what?' he answered, his mouth full of toast

'I think McGonagall's watching us.'

'Minnie?' He asked curiously 'Why?'

'I dunno. Only telling you what I saw'

'McGonagall keeping an eye on us is really not good' Remus brought up, shuffling in the bench to whisper 'The full moons coming up'

'She knows' Sirius said suddenly 'That has to be it!'

"About your 'furry little problem?' " I asked him 'of course she knows!'

'Dumbledore would've told her straight away, Remus' Peter piped up 'he knew she would want to help'

'You do realize that the first full moon is tonight, right?' Moony whispered under his breath 'Someone's bound to find out eventually'

'Of course, you've been irritable for weeks!'

'I mean,' Remus said softly 'If Snape was to want revenge, he'd try it tonight. He already has his suspicions'

'But why now?' I asked no one 'If he truly knew what was wrong, why would he put his own safety on the line? It's not like him to be careless'

'But he is rash' Peter pointed out

'That's the same thing, Wormtail'

'No matter, he is what he is!'

I sighed 'We aren't getting anywhere. I say we lay low tonight, and skip dinner to, well, you know, and meet up in the place it is, then'

'That's cutting it pretty close, don't yeah think?' Sirius said softly 'The moon will almost be up by then!'

'We'll have to take it' Remus said gravely 'It's the best chance we have to not raise suspicion'

'We'll be raising suspicion anyway' Sirius said pointedly 'We've done the same thing every month since second year'

'Not any more than usual though' Remus said through clenched teeth 'let's go to the common room, we have some relaxing to do'

…

At five o clock sharp that evening, a window popped open in a Gryffindor dormitory, and four figures descended softly on two shared brooms. No one would have noticed the first pair, as my invisibility cloak was again in use. Remus was getting restless

'No time to waste, Padfoot!' I whisper screamed at him

He dropped the broom and looked at me suspiciously 'I don't want my broom to get ruined!'

'It doesn't matter! The moon will be out any second! We have to get him to the Shrieking Shack!'

So we ran; and ran and ran until we transformed into our newly acclaimed nicknames. I, into a huge stag; which I must say, was very proud of. If only Lily saw me like this-

'NOW WORMTAIL!' Remus screamed as Sirius and I shoved him into the willows cavern. He was already transforming, we were almost too late.

'Is that a-' A voice began but I shoved it off, pushing whoever it was out of harm's way. They landed with a thud before Remus could ever reach him. At second glance, I realized that it was no other than my worst enemy

'WHAT IN MERLINS NAME ARE _YOU_ DOING HERE?' I screamed as I transformed into myself again, sprinting to the entrance of the Whomping Willow.

Snape brushed himself off in horror. He must've seen Remus after all

'So it's true then?' He said, pointing to the small wormhole 'that Lupin is a werewolf?'

'That wasn't Remus' I said in a deadly tone 'It was Sirius, trying out a new spell'

'We both know your covering for him, Potter.' He said, backing away 'And I'm going to tell Dumbledore about this, you here? That menace will be expelled'

'Who says Dumbledore would do anything?' I questioned, icicles dripping off my words

Something rustled in the trees 'What was that?'

Snape pushed me in front of him 'If your such a brave Gryffindor, Potter, you would already know.'

That git…

So I searched on my hands and knees through the bush, but discovered nothing

'Must've been an animal or something' I said carefully, trying my best to keep my tone in check. Animals weren't the only things hiding in the bush, apparently. And I, was true to my word

'Then tell me this Potter' He grinning slyly, holding his black wand under my chin 'What do you plan to do about your, issue?'

'There is no issue, Snivellus' I said carefully 'Now if I were you, I would skedaddle before the real Professors barge in asking questions'

'If the headmaster knew, he'd expel you lot for good.' He said, satisfied by his approach 'We'd all be better off without you Marauders'

Peter took this point to intrude, concluding that as we were almost nose to nose, things were about to get ugly

'The spell worked, James' he said breathlessly, his stubby fingers trembling 'Just as we planned'

'So your handmaid says. Why don't you tell me Potter,' Snape said maliciously 'just how this spell works'

…

-Lily-

I had always been curious where they went every month, and now I knew

I wasn't the least bit happy.

To think, a fifteen year old werewolf. It was horrifying to even picture Remus as a killer, as that went against everything he was.

Everything I thought he was, at least.

And now, Snape knew. It was written all over his face. Remus was about to be expelled, I knew it.

Early that evening, I left dinner in high hopes of discovering their secret once and for all. I had everything planned, down to where I could be far out of the Whomping Willows grasp. Yes, I knew of that too.

It was vicious, that one. Nearly ripped my head off in third year

So I made myself a niche in think brush; uncomfortable, but had very good visibility. And from there, I watched the whole scene unfold.

Snape getting tossed to the ground in a heap, his lanky form trembling with fear, and Ja-Potter running out to confront him. They argued for what seemed like years, and I, deeply immersed in interest, forgot I was to be kept hidden. So I tripped on a stray root and froze in fear

'What was that?

I turned to back away, and once out of range, hid behind a giant tree.

James entered the clearing

'Hello?' he said nervously, his voice laced in fear. I stood straight and immediately put a chameleon spell on my figure, wishing without a doubt to remain unseen. But a strangling cough instantaneously bubbled up in my throat

But he searched my tree

'Whose there?' he said viciously

The cough could remain in no longer

'Whose there? I can hear you!'

I muttered something under my breath

'Evans?' he whispered instantly 'Is that you?'

I whipped the counter curse on myself, becoming gradually more solid 'Yes.'

He cringed 'How much did you see?'

I bowed my head

He ran a hand through his hair and looked me straight in the eye 'Lily, no one can know about this, you hear? Or Dumbledore will be forced to expel him'

'You mean he knows?'

He huffed 'Of course he knows. How couldn't he? He was the first one to help Remus through the transformation'

'But.. how-'

'Lily, you can ask me later. Snape'll be getting suspicious. Not a word, I can trust you?'

I nodded quickly

'Good. See you later, Lily flower'

With that, the great James Potter ran off to the Whomping Willow

I took deep breaths and settled myself against the smooth bark. So Remus really was a werewolf. What will this mean? Me keeping my word… I will of course, no doubt about that, but what now? I mustn't let it slip, or Remus would get expelled. I had to tell someone.

No, I had to talk to James.

Yes. That was it. I would simply talk to them, get some facts straight. In a soft, comforting matter, that is. Not at all intruding on his secret more than necessary.

So I silently picked myself off the ground, dusted off my robes, and following James' path back to familiarity; back to everything I knew.

Back to where life made sense.

…

**A/N: Thanks for reading everyone! Sorry that I haven't got a chapter up in a while, but hey, it was bound to happen eventually.**

**Please review and tell me what you think!**

**Love always,**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	7. Recovering and Reminiscing

-Remus-

I rubbed my eyes and sat up in my bunk. By the looks of things, all four of us were in the hospital wing. The other three were sitting up in their bunks, conversing in whispers

'Remus?' James asked carefully, spinning around to face me 'How're you feeling?'

'Brilliant' I answered with a groan

'Personally,' Sirius began in an unhelpful tone 'I think that could've gone better.'

I glared at the accuser. 'Of course it could of gone better you prat!'

But he just laughed and gripped my overly sore shoulder 'But did you see Snivellus' face? Blimey that was _funny_!'

'It wasn't funny, Padfoot. That git _knows_.' James said so quietly that only the four of us could hear over the empty silence.

'Wait, he actually caught on? I didn't know that!'

'He isn't daft, Sirius. He understands, and if he tells, we're all expelled.'

The Marauders seemed to somber up after that

'But, Dumbledore-'Peter began

'Has done as much as he can,' I said firmly 'If I'm expelled, it's no one's fault but my own. This is my issue'

James glared at me from his bed off to my left 'It may be your issue mate, but we're friends; we'll do this for you. You know we do'

'But I really went too far this time' I said helplessly 'I could've killed someone!'

'But you didn't, did you?' James said quietly 'Nothing happened. It'll be alright'

'What about Lily?' Sirius asked tensely 'How much does she know?'

'Lily knows too?' I yelled in outrage

'It was an accident, Moony' Peter said 'She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time'

'Or maybe she went snooping' Sirius said 'She didn't stay long enough to chat, according to Prongs over here'

'You talked to her?' I whispered pointedly. James sighed

'I didn't mean to, Remus' He said carefully 'I had to keep Snape distracted, so I made a diversion'

'Including Lily'

'No, she was just conveniently at hand'

'So you didn't bring her?'

James gaped at me 'You think I would tell? And put her in danger? How daft do you think I am?'

I glared at my best friend 'I never said you would do it, James. I was just wondering'

James got up from his bunk and sat on a chair beside mine 'Look. I know you're tired, so sleep. Rest up. You're not doing any good to anyone in this state. We'll stop by later'

With that, the remaining Marauders got up and silently followed James out of the room. I rolled over and glared at the wall. If this was the way it was going to be, so be it. I deserved every punishment pushed on me. Expulsion was coming; I guess I've always knew it.

A figure walked up to my bed

'Whose there?' I asked groggily

'Madame Pompfrey' the voice answered, pushing a cup into my hand 'Drink, we need to rid you of those horrid scars'

I lifted the glass to my lips and let the icy fluid flow down my throat. It was like drinking liquid fire. I sputtered and gasped, but Madame Pompfrey just poured the remainder into my gaping mouth. After a moment or two, I felt the familiar feeling of healing. It was miraculous, yet a bit unreal considering the healing was always temporary. Some scars would stay forever

'I'm sorry, Remus, but this is the best I can do' she said sadly, walking to the medicine cupboard 'Perhaps Wolfsbane would suffice'

I sneered. That stuff may help, but Merlin, it tasted awful

But Madame Pompfrey took no notice as she poured some of the potion into a flask, and placed it into my heavily bandaged fingers

'Drink, it'll make you feel better'

Yet again, I followed procedure until the last of the horrid remedy was drunk.

'You should be thankful that there _is_ a solution, Remus' the nurse scolded me 'In the old days, even the best of werewolves were banished from us. At least you can still be educated'

She was right of course, but I didn't wish to admit it

'May I go?'

She glanced up at the grandfather clock in the corner 'Soon. You still need some time to recover. The symptoms have yet to set in'

…

Hours later, as I was pretending to sleep, I thought about what James had said. Of course he didn't mean to have Lily and Snape protrude. How could I have been so stupid? James _cared_ about Lily. He didn't _want_ her to be in danger.

For the first time in years, I truly cursed Fenir Greyback for doing this to me. A child, seven years old, declared a werewolf. And now, even eight years later, things had not improved. I had put friends in danger. Sure, I've hurt them before, but nothing a potion couldn't fix. But words…. No, those took even longer to heal.

I glanced at my arms. I hurt myself, again. Another wound a scar couldn't fix. All I've ever wanted was to be accepted, and know I've ruined even that future for myself. Dumbledore would be forced to expel me; Snape would see to it.

Quietly, the Hospital Wings doors creaked open and a tall figure protruded to my bedside. I expected harsh words, so I hesitantly pretended to be asleep.

'Is the boy awake, Poppy?' a kind voice asked off to my left 'I wish to speak to him'

Quick feet answered the kind words and soon, Madame Pompfrey began fussing over me

'He may be, Albus, but he just may not want to talk right now.'

Dumbledore just laughed softly 'What I have to say requires no effort from him, I assure you. All I need is for him to listen'

I shook quietly. He was going to expel me

'Remus, this news is unexpected, but good news none the less,'

I cringed

'All I know you have been worrying about is worthless. Severus, James and I have made an agreement. No one shall know of what happened last night. All have sworn to secrecy'

I sat up in confusion. Wait- what?

I turned to face my Headmaster, who at the moment had his twinkling eyes mesmerized at his bag of sweets

'What? I mean, Professor-'

'No harm has been done' he said happily, finally unsticking a familiar sweet

'Is that-'

'Raspberry drops' Dumbledore responded 'a new favourite of mine. Care to sample one?'

I smiled weakly and held out my hand. My new favourite professor placed a delicate sweet in my palm

'This is one of my favourites too' I said carefully, unaware I was speaking to begin with 'How'd you know?'

Dumbledore's eyes sparkled 'Oh it was your mother who sent these. Wise choice, raspberry drops'

'Why is that?'

'Because they seem to be your favourite, Remus' Dumbledore replied, a smile tugging at his lips

'I- I' I stuttered, not being able to find the way to thank this man 'Thank you, Professor Dumbledore'

Dumbledore smiled and stood, leaving the sweets on my bedside table 'Take care, Remus. Oh, you should know; friends like yours don't come along often, and one would do well to keep the ones he has intact.'

I stood from my bed, placing my unsteady feet where I wished them to be. But as I turned to walk away, I noticed three figures in the doorway, three people who I wished more than anything to apologize to. So I did, and for once, everything was as it should be

…

**Thanks for reading! Remember to review!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	8. Disagreements to Sweets

**I feel like I should make this clear.**

**I have not, and will not, and cannot ever be British. I consider myself a content Canadian and do not wish to change that fact. So therefore, my fine readers, I do not own the wonders of the Marauder days**

**Silence Nevermore**

-Remus-

Needless to say, the next few months were nothing but eventful.

Due to the reestablishment of the schools biggest pranksters, Hogwarts punishments were at large once more. Sirius Black would tell you that he spent more time in detention than out these days, and good old Prongs was far too love struck to do anything about it.

That's right, James Potter, at fifteen years old, has chosen Miss Lily Potter over their best gig yet

'But James' Sirius pleaded with him, literally begging on his knees 'We _have_ to figure out where that new passage leads!'

'We can do that later. I have, uh, a big charms essay I have to do. Right now, in fact.'

Sirius kind of looked at him funny 'Didn't you already finish that? Because I distinctly recall you complaining to me about it this morning'

'He did' I agreed 'I helped him with it'

'So-'Sirius began, taking a step closer to his best mate 'What is it that you have to do, Prongs? Feel free to tell the class'

'I'm-supposed-to-help-Evans-patrol' He said in one breath, hiding behind a huge textbook

'Ah so it's _Evans_ we have to worry about, is it? What _exactly _are you going to patrol, James? Just how far she'll let you go?'

He blushed furiously, and busied himself by unwrapping a new sheet of parchment

'Wait,' I began, standing up 'Lily's with Alice for patrol tonight, she won't need help'

'Alice can't make it'

'And why's that?'

James gave me The Look 'She's on a date with Longbottom'

'Frank? With Alice?'

'You're a bloody gay'

Sirius cracked a smile 'Takes one to know one Prongs'

Meanwhile, Peter and I were watching the goings on like a tennis match. These fights were a bi-weekly occurrence for the Marauders

Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it

'What corridor are we exploring tonight, Prongs?'

James looked at me a little funny 'The charms corridor, Remus. _You_ came up with the plan'

'Yeah, just trying to cut the tension' I said, popping the _sion_

Sirius walked over to my bunk 'you sure your feeling alright, Moony?'

I shook my head 'Fine. Now, to important business. What, exactly, are we looking for?'

'A new passageway'

'And we learned of this…'

'Because McGonagall and Dumbledore were talking about it'

'Well said, Peter. Now, I say we leave tonight. Or hey, better yet, what about now?'

James rounded on me 'We can't leave_ now_ Remus! I promised that I would help Lily!'

'All the better!'

Sirius chuckled, then threw his head back and roared

'Now what happened to you?' Peter asked a little too innocently

'Ole Remy is _jealous! _That's what!'

I tried to look at Sirius in outrage, but my pink face refused to comply. This only made Sirius laugh harder, James blush further, and Peter look all the more confused. Emotions were running so high, that I felt the instant desire to storm out with my dignity. But due to a little prick named Sirius Black, this motive was made impossible

'Moony, you gotta admit' Sirius chocked out, holding his arm securely over the doorframe 'We always knew Prongs would end up with Evans, but no one expected it to happen this soon! Especially you, apparently'

I turned and pushed my way to our dorms loo. Someone tried to follow me, but stopped before they reached to door, leaving me to run to the sink in tatters. I turned on the tap and let the lukewarm water trickle down my neck. I wouldn't admit it, but maybe there was something between Lily and I. Perhaps wanted to be more than just a Prefect boy to her, something more than just a friend.

No, I pleaded with myself. You can't like Lily. She's your best mates good-as-well-betrothed; you have no right.

And yet, I had every right.

It was James who insults me about my studying habits. James; who until recently was the one who almost exposed me. And Potter, the boy I wished to hate. Lily was never his, he never had the courage.

And she's _my_ friend. Because the only thing missing from friends and fiends is Respect; something of which he had yet to inherit from his pure-blood genes. The one thing his heritage couldn't give him.

I mopped my face off on a hand towel and sat on the rim of the tub. I had no chance; and sadly, I had always known it. James _deserves_ someone as sweet and pure as Lily Evans. I'm only a unlovable werewolf.

Yes, that was that. There would be other girls, I told myself. Maybe, I would get married, probably not; but there was always the chance. James and Lily would be happy together. I would always be there for him; my first best friend.

So, I slowly emerged from the washroom with no tears lines in sight, and sat quietly on my four-poster.

'Ready to go, Moony?'

I pulled up my expression and turned to face the standing Marauders 'What do you mean?'

'We're going to go explore that corridor,' James said 'maybe find another way into Hogsmeade so Sirius can come too'

'But I thought-'

'Turns out it was all a misunderstanding' Sirius said happily 'Lily's gonna get Marlene something-or-another to help'

'McKinnon?'

'That's the one. A six year, I think. I dated her a couple years back'

'Course that's how you remember her, Padfoot'

He grinned proudly 'the one and only way!'

'So how we planning on getting all the way to Charms without being spotted? We don't all fit under the cloak anymore, James' I said carefully

'Oh don't you worry.' he said, with an identical grin on both their faces 'we've got a plan'

…

**2:51 A.M, Charms Corridor**

'So _this_ is your plan?' I whisper screamed

Sirius and James grinned from their hiding spot 'Of course, the more unreal it is, the better!'

I looked a little sceptically at them 'And why would that help?'

'Because then McGonagall will never believe us, even if we were forced to tell!'

'Brilliant'

Even Peter cracked a grin

At the count of three, all four of us ran in different directions. James and Sirius, who had the invisibility cloak, ran to Filch's office. Meanwhile, as I watched Wormtail scamper off in rat form, I thought about my job. I had the most important role; most likely installed out of pity, and had to be the one to find the bloody thing.

So I peeked around the spacious corridor, blinded by every ounce of moonlight, trying to find a hidden passage in this mess.

At last, I stopped to rest in front of a statue of a hag, to drink some pumpkin juice that I summoned, when the stone seemed to- move.

I stepped back quickly, spilling some pumpkin juice on my robes, and looked deeply into the hole the witch had created. I seemed to go on forever, so I summoned the others to me with Sirius's two way mirror. They came in a silent run, and looked over my shoulder into the great abyss

'What. Is. _That?_' Sirius exaggerated, pushing himself forward to lean over the edge

'Whose there?' A male voice asked sharply. We all froze.

'The cloak! The CLOAK, James!'

He hurriedly passed it to me, and I flung it over the four of us. James and Sirius had to duck down to keep all of our ankles concealed

'Quick, Sirius, you first'

He looked at me in horror, then quickly slid down the chute, followed closely by Peter and James

'Come along, my sweet. We'll catch the irksome students soon enough'

I exhaled in fright, but followed my friends down into the witch's hidden corridor

…

'THAT WAS BRILLIANT!' Sirius said as soon as I landed at the bottom 'Who knows where this leads?'

James pulled out his wand and muttered the incantation. Instantly, a ball of light exploded out of his wand and lit the dank corridor, basking us in a strange white light. Everyone looked more than elated.

'Shall we?' James said, pretending to hold out his arm to Sirius, who happily took it and together, they pranced down the corridor. Peter and I pulled out a laugh and ran after them

'Where'd yeah suppose this leads?' James asked 'I mean, we've been walking for twenty minutes already.'

'I hope it leads to Hogsmeade,' Sirius said wistfully, holding the now extended Marauders Map in his hands 'I've always wanted to go'

'And you will, after we-'I said, then stopped due to the insistent banging above me

'What the bloody hell was that?' Sirius whispered in horrid

'Hey, there's the end of the corridor' James said quickly 'Let's get out of here'

So we did, with me in the lead, the invisibility cloak marring my features, when I reached the dead end. 'Oi, this is where it ends'

Sirius walked ahead of me, placing his wand on the- I almost wanted to call it a cellar roof, as that what it seemed to be. It instantly propped itself up, revealing a

Cellar.

'Hey,' James said softly, stepping out of the passage 'this is Honeydukes cellar!'

I looked at his oddly 'How did you know that?'

'Mum and Dad were friends with the owners.' He explained 'They gave me a tour once'

'So that means' Peter drawled

'We're in Hogsmeade!' Sirius said happily, tearing from the spot to reach for the door

'Oi' I whistled 'Sirius, you can't just appear in Hogsmeade. Someone's bound to notice. We have to go back tonight'

'Wait, what?'

'We have to' I repeated, standing in front of the others 'Or we'll be in trouble again'

'I hate to break it to you, Padfoot. But the wolf's right'

I sneered 'As I rightly should be!'

'As you wish, _Moony_' Sirius exaggerated, folding his hand to the cellar door 'Feel free to go first'

'As I will'

'Stupid git' Sirius muttered to James. He laughed and followed me

'Well done, Remus' He said, once again lighting his wand 'That was a good find. We can put it on the map later'

'Thanks, James. We, we good?' I asked, holding out my hand. I prayed that he wouldn't notice that it was shaking

'We always were'

**Thanks for reading everyone! And please keep reviewing; it's always a joy to discover a new alert or review. And as for where this stories going, it's going to reach from Hogwarts years (remainder of 5-7) all the way to after their deaths.(oOo ominous, I know) **

**Tell me what you think!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	9. Much to Our Dismay

Much to our dismay, Christmas seemed to come sooner than usual that year. October finished, and November was gone before we could blink, leaving just 21 days until Christmas day.

'When's that star chart due?'

I looked over at a very befuddled Sirius, who was up to his eyeballs in charts and notes

'The 14th,' I told him 'The day before schools out'

He sighed in discernment 'But that's so soon!'

I shrugged 'ten days, Padfoot'

Remus looked over from his nook in the library 'Yeah, and that's also the day Slughorn wants us to have our Wolfsbane potion finished'

I internally groaned. Wolfsbane was horrid to make, but I wasn't about to say that in front of the patient

'OK' I said 'Can you help me, Remus? I don't get this Charms homework'

'Which one is it?'

'Last weeks'

He nodded in satisfaction 'Yeah, I finished that the day after. Just give me a second- it's here somewhere…'

As Remus was searching his bag, Peter ran in, causing Ms. Pince to go into a fit of hysterical shushes, and Peter to flush substantially.

'Oi, Peter' Sirius brought up, pointing to his quill 'Can you pass that to me?'

'Sure, Sirius. Anytime'

'Ah, thank you. My back just isn't the same these days'

I rolled my eyes 'Sirius, you're sixteen'

'What's your point?'

'Oh, never you mind'

'Fair enough, fair enough. Oi, Remus, your good at Astronomy, right? Because this chart that prick gave me isn't helping at all'

Remus chuckled 'I expect as such. That's McGonagall's Transfiguration textbook'

He quickly flipped the cover and flushed crimson. It took everything in me not to laugh aloud at this idiot's misfortune.

'So what else are we doing today?' Peter asked, scrambling to find his homework

'Homework' Remus replied, still not completely over Sirius' mishap

'But-'

'Or we could finish the map,' I interjected, 'We could have it over Christmas then'

Sirius whistled 'that's quite the goal, Prongs'

'Ahh, we can do it. We're Marauders remember?'

'I still don't like that name' Peter whispered, but no one took notice

'It's pretty advanced magic' Remus muttered 'It'll take some work'

'But we can do it, right?'

He looked up uncertainly

'I'll do my best' he said finally

'Tonight it is, Peter. Tonight's the night'

…

**Marauders dorm- 7:47 pm**

'So did we find everything?'

I looked up at Peter 'Maybe, we're not sure. There could be loads more passages, and we can always just add them as we go'

'Fair enough. So, what we gonna call it?'

'The Marauder's map.' Remus suggested 'I mean, we're the Marauders, and… it's a map.'

'Wow. So original' Sirius laughed 'Might as well put our names on it too'

'We could do that as well!' I said quickly 'I mean, not our real names, but our nicknames! Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs!'

'Because of our Animagi'

'Yes, and the fact that no one in their right mind will know what that means!'

'True enough' Peter muttered

'So, care to start gentlemen?'

The three others nodded, and raised their wands in turn

'One' I said quickly 'Two, Thre-'

'POTTER! BLACK! Come with me this _instant!'_

I spun and nearly ran into my transfiguration Professor

'What have you two done to the sixth floor coat of arms?' she asked, her mouth so tight you couldn't see her lips 'Mr. Filch has reported vandalism!'

'Nothing, Professor! I swear!'

She looked at me warily 'And just why would I believe that?'

Remus stepped forward 'because we've been doing homework all evening Professor. Ask anyone'

She lifted her eyes to view him, and seemed startled by this pronouncement 'This hasn't stopped you four in times previous.'

'This is because we have actual work to do' Sirius muttered, but McGonagall had ears like a hawk

'What sort of work, may I ask?'

'Astronomy' I said a little too quickly, masking her immediate confusion. She looked down at me though her square spectacles

'Astronomy, is it? Strange, that tower just happens to be on the sixth floor'

'We didn't do it!' I cried 'Honest! Mum would kill me if I got another detention!'

'I had my suspicions' she said crisply 'if you're so sure it _wasn't_ you, who would you say it was?'

'Sniv- I mean, what about Snape and that Mulciber fellow?'

'They have been cleared.' McGonagall said 'In fact, they aren't even in the castle at this time'

'Handy, that is'

My professor spun on me 'It is not what you think it is, Potter. You would do well to explain your actions before you say them'

'I know what this is, and it wasn't us. Believe me, Professor!'

She kept her face firm 'As you wish, but be warned. This isn't the end of this conversation'

And with that, she spun on her heel and left our dorm stairs. A few seconds later, we heard the sound of a spell

'Oh no, oh no, oh no' Remus muttered, rushing past us

Sirius and I looked at each other 'You don't think-'

'I hope not'

So we followed Remus down the stairs

'Is that-'

'A jinx? I'm afraid so. It looks like the permanent locking charm'

I groaned 'She locked us in? That little-'

'Smart, if I say so myself.' Sirius said happily 'Now we can work in peace, and'

'and _what_ Sirius?'

He cracked a crocodile grin 'And we'll always know when she's coming'

I grinned at the other Marauders 'Very true, Padfoot! Come along, lads! We have a map to make!'

…

'You sure it works?'

Remus sighed 'I-I think so. I'm pretty sure I got all the jinxes out,'

'Pretty sure!'

'Well, let's put it this way. If it doesn't work, we have plenty of time to fix it, don't we?'

Peter groaned and collapsed on his bunk

'Fair enough, Moony.' Sirius said happily 'Oh, and by the way, can we check on the common room? I wanna see what time it is'

'Whaddya mean?'

'I wanna see if they left for breakfast yet'

I shook my head. Of course that was what he was worried about. 'Why don't you check the door again? It's your turn'

'Sure, be right back'

After a few seconds of shuffling, I heard the unmistakable sound of a lock opening 'I got it!'

I sprang up and ran for the door 'Really?'

He swung the old wooden door open in glee 'Yep! Pretty sure!'

I laughed and ran into the common room. I was almost instantly joined by none other than Lily

'Where were you?' she asked, her hands on her hips 'You haven't been heard of since dinner!'

'Got locked in our dorm' I said sadly 'McGonagall locked us in'

'She did _what?_'

'Locked us in'

'I heard you. But why would she do it?'

I sighed and merged into the breakfast run 'Because I got framed again'

Lily stuck her hands in her robe pockets 'But you didn't do it, I presume?'

'Course not!'

'Than you wouldn't be in this situation then, would you?'

I didn't answer and stared at the heavy snowfall, instantly regretting this spur-of-the-moment decision.

Lily coughed and I looked up

'What?'

'You, you coughed'

'So?'

'You did so in a meaningful fashion, like you were implying something'

'And what might that be?' she said a little too innocently. I looked at her a little oddly

'What?'

'You're acting funny'

'No I'm not!'

I folded my arms 'Yes you are'

'No I'm not, Jam-Potter'

'Hah. You said my name that time'

'I-I no, I didn't!

'Oh but you did, Miss Evans!'

'Don't call me that'

'Then don't call me Potter. It makes me sound like a bloody Professor. Call me James, Lily'

She looked down. I could've sworn a saw a faint blush 'Fine.'

'Fine'

'FINE!'

'Whoa. Calm down there. You're going to blow a circuit'

She stifled a laugh. Gosh that sounded good

'Okay, James'

**GAH! I love awkward conversations between those two! **

**By the way, to answer skaterofthebooks excellent question, no. There won't be any more Lily/Remus. I only included it to give Remus his moment. Yes, I will stick to canon couples, as they turn out best. As I'm not one to plan things out, feel free to drop me an idea for future chapters. I'm always welcome to new creativity**

**Nearing on twenty reviews! Keep it up!**

**Love always,**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	10. Oh Where, Oh Where, Can My Baby Be?

**Although I do consider J.K Rowling as a definite role model, this does not, in any way shape or form, make me her. Or Pearl Jam, for that matter. If so, I still wouldn't be in bloody high school**

**Let me rephrase that, the most positively worst invention known to males and females ages 15 and up. Yes, it is true. Don't believe that stupid lecture that Jr. High is so much worse compared, as this, is a lie. And we all know that I must not tell lies.**

**On with the story! By the way, this is Christmas Eve, so almost two weeks after our last encounter, and due to an unfortunate mishap (read and discover) the four boys, Lily and the Slug Club are at Hogwarts for Christmas.**

**-Silence Nevermore**

-James-

'Help me hang this, will you?'

I glanced over in Remus' direction whilst keeping my own tree aloft. He was struggling to hang three strings of garland in one go.

'Give him a hand, will you Peter? The rest of us are preoccupied at the moment'

He nodded quickly and followed Remus into the Great Hall. We were decorating the school, as you can see, for Slughorn's detention as it was his turn to lead the party.

'Higher, Ms. McKinnon, higher, we need to see that star'

Marlene grumbled under her breath, however, complied

'And Mr. Potter, _do_ help Lily with those decorations. She will need another hand'

I nodded quickly and left without question, my tree thumping on the floor, narrowly missing Elizabeth Beraty (_Hey!)_ and half jogged over to Lily

'I hear you need a hand'

Lily stopped, her hand holding a single lit candle 'Oh, sorry. Didn't see you there'

I picked up my own candle, lit it (lacarnum Inflamarai) and levitated the lot to the remaining boughs

Lily brushed of her hands and looked at her feet 'Thanks'

I grinned 'Don't mention it, Lily'

She shook her head and looked up 'what?'

'What, _what?'_

'You called me by my real name again'

'You told me to'

She reached over and picked up the box and walked to the next tree 'Yeah, but I didn't figure you'd actually _listen_'

I smirked

'Why wouldn't I listen?'

Lily blushed down to her toes, her fingers twitching anxiously

'Hey, why are you even here? Christmas break was out weeks ago'

Lily sighed, regaining her usual composure 'I didn't want to'

'Why's that?'

'I don't want to talk about it James.'

I then silently lighting and levitating candles to the next trees, leaving the Red-Headed Nightmare to sort through her thoughts

'Do you really want to know why I'm not going home?'

I turned around 'I want to know why you're so upset'

Lily looked down and murmured something incoherent

'Sorry, what was that?'

I lifted up her chin and was surprised by her swimming eyes

'Lily-'

She bit her lip and stared into my eyes 'It's my, my parents. I haven't heard from them in-in weeks'

My mouth sat agape

'Oh no, Lils. That's not it. Don't think like that'

I wanted so badly to take her in my arms, but as I began to reach out, she cried out and fell into my arms. So I held her softly, praying that my baby wouldn't have to sob tonight

After what seemed like seconds, Lily pulled away and stared without looking at a single candle

'Hey,' I said softly 'Let me'

So I walked over and placed the lit candle in her outstretched fingers. Her face sat illuminated in the flickering shadow. It was then that I noticed the once noisy hall was now reduced to murmurs, and all were looking at our frail embrace

'James,' Remus said softly, carefully letting the holly slip through his fingers 'Is Lily okay?'

I shook my head, and pushed the soggy hair out of her pale frame

But Remus and Sirius stood frozen, their mouths stationary in a wide gape

'Thank you all' Slughorn said, clasping his sausage fingers together 'You may be dismissed'

So quickly and quietly, the fugitives and Slug Club members alike walked from the hall, leaving me to Lily's tears

'Lily,' I murmured, taking her hand 'Do want to talk?'

She nodded numbly, so I led her carefully to the stone steps and sat down; placing her head on my shoulder

'I remember what this feels like,' I said softly, unconsciously brushing her hair out of her face 'when you're surrounded by people yet feel completely alone'

She curled up her face in my chest and let the tears flow as smoothly, her body racked with shame

'Lily, I never told you, but I know how this feels. Last winter, exactly a year a year ago, my grandfather got murdered; murdered by You Know Who himself. This isn't that; you'd know as I did'

Lily rolled over, her eyes glassy and red 'You promise?'

I smiled weakly 'Course.'

'James I'm so worried'

So I pulled her close and let a tear slip into her hair, a single tear; filled with remorse I couldn't begin to understand. She was in agony. Her parents; Lily's last family. They couldn't be gone; no, not on Christmas. Not her, not now.

But her tears continued to flow, despite all her dignity.

Right at the moment, a Muggle song Remus showed me floated through my head

_Oh where, oh where could my baby be?_

_The Lord took her away from me…_

I cradled Lily in my arms and whispered the words in her ears

_She's gone to heaven so I got to be good_

_So I can see my baby when I leave this world_

-Lily-

I tucked my body into James, gratified by the instant fix; we fit perfectly

I couldn't remember crying, but I could feel the steady stream flow down my cheeks. But James held me, and James loved me; that Christmas Eve when I believed no one else would.

I felt his body begin to rock me; back and forth, back and forth- a soothing feeling that was so undeserved. Who was I, to rely on someone so willing for comfort? It was Christmas Eve. He must've had a host of other things to do tonight. Things that would never had involved me

But then he leant down and whispered my favourite song into my ears

_Oh where, oh where could my baby be?_

_The Lord took her away from me_

_She's gone to heaven so I gotta be good,_

_So I can see my baby when I leave this world_

How did he know? I never told anyone

_We were out on a date in my daddy's car_

_We hadn't driven very far_

_There in the road, straight ahead_

_A car was stalled, the engine was dead_

I sobbed into his chest. This was the best thing someone had ever given me. I had dated before, of course, but I never had felt so secure in someone's arms that weren't my fathers

_I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right_

_I'll never forget the sound that night_

_The screamin' tires, the bustin' glass_

_The painful scream that I heard last_

I muffled my voice into James chest, my body heaving in soft sobs

_Oh where, oh where, can my baby be?_

_The Lord took her away from me_

_She's gone to heaven, so I've got to be good_

_So I can see my baby when I leave this world_

I let my voice abandon me, just being content in this boy's presence. He was all I needed to feel complete right now

_When I woke up the rain was pourin' down_

_There were people standing all around_

_Something warm goin' through my eyes_

_But somehow I found my baby that night_

I couldn't believe it. This song was exactly how I was feeling right now. But how had he known? He was a Pure-Blood…

_I lifted her head; she looked at me and said_

_"Hold me darling, just a little while"_

_I held her close; I kissed her, our last kiss_

_I found the love that I knew I had missed_

James lifted my chin and looked deeply into my eyes. Searching, exploring. Testing how broken I truly was. But he pulled me close and whispered the last stanza into my hair

_Well now she's gone_

_Even though I hold her tight_

_I lost my love, my life, that night_

_Oh where, oh where, can my baby be?_

_The Lord took her away from me_

_She's gone to heaven, so I've got to be good_

_So I can see my baby when I leave this world_

He then took my head in his hands; his soft, strong hands, and kissed me. Softly, yet forcefully; loving but careful. Everything I had ever wanted. The world sighed behind us as I kissed him back, my mouth soft under his. My first Christmas kiss

'Merry Christmas, Lily'

I looked into his eyes; his open, beautiful eyes 'Merry Christmas James'

**That was so sad to write :( Sorry if you're all depressed now.**

**By the way, that song James sang is a new favourite of mine, Last Kiss- by Pearl Jam. I looked it up, and am trusting my Guitar teacher got her facts right that this song was popular some twenty years ago. (lol) Anyway, super cute, eh? Give it a listen, totally worth it.**

**Hope you all have an excellent weekend, and I promise to update soon :)**

**-Silence Nevermore**

**P.S: All these reviews are the best thing, like, ever. I believe that I'm up to twenty two now, but keep it up! And if you get a chance, check out my other story: Before the Ending began, post Deathly Hallows. **

**~8) (my thanks to iamabookworm for showing this to me. For all those who are unaware, its harry; his scar and glasses? Well, if not, at least it made me laugh**


	11. Learning to Fly

'Lily, Lily wake up'

I felt a soft hand prodding me. I opened my eyes and looked around. I was, I was-

'What, I mean-'

James smiled up at me 'Happy Christmas, Lily'

Looking around, I noticed that we were the only ones here in the common room. It looked silent and ghastly as a stone, with no occupants but us on this white-washed Christmas Day

I sat up and wrapped the tattered quilt tighter around me, taking in that I was here _all night_

'James, I mean, what?'

James laughed softly; taking my hand in his 'You fell asleep really late, I mean early, so I brought you here last night instead of sleeping on cold stone'

'So I wasn't,' I swallowed nervously 'I wasn't with you all night?'

He looked down 'No, of course not. I went to my dormitory after I brought you here; couldn't get to your room, as you know'

I nodded. We girls were to have more sense than the boys, and the charm would never let them up

'Thanks for last night, James. That meant so much to me'

He wrapped a robe around his pajamas and sat next to me on a soft sofa 'Course, you needed it'

A comfortable silence grew between us. Unconsciously, I shivered, but James took notice and ignited the hearth, bringing warm flames into my eyes.

'Lily, what do you want me to call you?'

I glanced over at the contemplating boy tucked up next to me 'What do you mean?'

'Do you want me to call you Lily or Lils?'

'Either is fine, I'll respond to both'

He smiled 'Or Lily Flower, or, or Lilikins'

'I can guarantee that I won't answer to the later, but my-my dad used to call me Lily Flower'

He stumbled over his words 'Oh, Lily. I was trying so hard to lighten the mood. Aw, come here'

And I did, rested very comfortably against his chest. He sighed into my hair

'How'd you know?'

'Know what?'

He pulled me closer 'That I would wait for you?'

I pulled my lips into a grin 'I figured you would mature sooner or later'

'It took me awhile, alright?'

I smirked 'I know, James'

So that's how we sat for the better of an hour, just comfortable in the others presence, when a host of voices broke me from my daze

'Oi, Prongs? Where are you?'

James lifted his head and cringed slightly. This would be hard to explain

'James!'

Then from the other side

'Lils? Where are you?'

When all of the sudden, the two groups grew to notice each other, and then-us

'James?' Sirius whispered

'Lily? What are you _doing?_'

I had had enough, so I stood and faced my friends

'Look' I said pointedly, crossing my arms 'Last night was a disaster, but James was there for me when _you_ weren't. So what if this is how it is?'

I felt James standing to my aid, putting his hands on my shoulders 'And Prongs? Back off my girlfriend'

I gaped at him, but he just shrugged

'Lily-'Alice began 'you, you said, just _yesterday_ that you would NEVER even talk to him again!'

I death glared my friend but the deed was done

'Why would you say that?'

I sighed 'because I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry, James. I really am'

But he just hugged me from behind and whispered in my ear 'I know you are, Lils'

'Wait' Remus began 'Am I to assume to two of you are together now?'

I shared an uneasy glance with James 'I-I think so. If not, really, _really_ good friends'

Sirius stifled a laugh 'Come on, Jamesy. We should head off to breakfast'

'And you too, Lily' Marlene said forcefully 'but first you need to change'

I kissed my new best friend on the cheek and let go of his hand, walking into the waiting arms of a friend. James just sat staring at my retreating form until Sirius and Remus led him away

'Lily, what were you _thinking?'_ Alice whisper shouted as we entered our dorm 'what's with the sudden realization?'

I sat on my neatly made bed 'I meant what I said, Alice'

My two friends sat on either side of me, taking in my stilled silence

'But, you… you _promised_!'

I suddenly stood, feeling the immediate need to defend James 'Promised what, Marlene? That I wouldn't let this happen?'

Alice had pleading in her eyes 'You know that's not what we meant, Lily Flower!'

'Don't call me that'

'But that was my nickname for you'

'Not anymore it isn't'

Marlene stood and faced me 'Lily, you aren't thinking! He's so not like you!'

'WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE WHO I AM?' I nearly exploded 'MY PARENTS COULD BE DEAD AND HE WAS THERE FOR ME! THERE'S NOTHING MORE TO IT!'

'You said they just forgot to answer, Lily' Alice whispered, her frail hands over her lips 'It can't be true…'

'What if it is? Then what?'

'Then we'll deal with it like we always do, Lily. Trust me on that'

I hastily walked over to the dressing table and brushed my hair out of my face, placing my mother's pearl necklace on my neck, and stood

'I'm going down to breakfast' I announced, walking across the threshold 'Happy Christmas'

So I did, leaving Marlene and Alice in a stunned silence

...

-James-

'Prongs,' Sirius said, taking the lead with a grin on his face 'How'd you do it?'

'Do what?'

'Get her to date you?'

'Yeah, I mean, so unexpected, but totally brilliant!' he said happily 'Just pretend to comfort them, and'

'What do you mean,_ pretend?'_

Peter looked at me oddly 'you didn't actually, like _mean_ it, did you?'

'Of course I did! I'm dating Lily! So what?' I said a little too quickly

'Because you've been trying to get Lily to date you for five years now'

'Yeah, don't you think it to be a little peculiar that she accepts you now?' Remus said, opening the doors to the Great Hall

'I don't think it to be peculiar at all'

Sirius clapped a hand on my shoulder 'I mean, we're happy for you and everything, but this was just _weird_ to see the two of you together like you-'

'Like we _what_ Sirius?'

'I dunno, had a _sleepover_ perhaps?'

I blushed harder than I ever had and didn't say a word while the others roared with laughter

'Fair enough, Prongs, fair enough'

'I-we- _no!_ It wasn't like _that!_ I had only just got there!'

'It does make sense, you know' Remus said, sitting down at Gryffindor table 'Ole James didn't come up last night'

'I did so'

'Then why didn't any of us see you?'

Peter raised a hand hesitantly 'I-I did'

I crossed my arms and sat back with a satisfied expression on my face

'He was just leaving'

'Wait-what?'

Peter sat up taller 'I saw him taking the coverlet from the spare bed and going back down. But then I fell asleep'

'She was cold!'

'And you were too, I guess'

I put my head down in anger 'NO I _WASN'T!_

It came out much louder than I expected

At that very moment, Lily came downstairs in day old robes; opening the door to the Hall

I sighed in relief, and patted the seat next to me, inviting my new_ girlfriend_ to sit next to me, shoving Sirius down the bench

'Hey, Lils'

'Morning, James'

Meanwhile, everyone in the hall had eyes for us, the most unexpected and unlikely couple Hogwarts had ever seen

'Had a good interrogation?'

'Well enough thanks. You?'

'Fine' she said pointedly 'Just fine'

'Pass the toast, will you Peter?' I said happily, ignoring the constant gazes 'I daresay you can never have enough, eh, Padfoot?'

Sirius broke from his daze and hastily passed the tray, knocking Remus' spectacles askew

'Thank you' I took a piece and offered it to Lily, which she gratefully accepted

Then Dumbledore stood

'Happy Christmas, all' he said, his blue eyes in a questionable sweep ' for announcements, this fine day, Madame Pompfrey would like to make known that all of today's normal activities have been suspended due to the heavy snowfall.'

The hall groaned

But he just smiled 'The ones that involve being indoors of course'

A Hufflepuff stood 'Does that mean the snowball fight is still on, Dumbledore?'

His sapphire eyes twinkled 'Of course, Ms. Stall. I myself cannot wait for it'

The young third year smiled, than sat down

The general murmur began, confounding each and every member of the staff, who continued to stare at their meals, not taking a single taste of the wonderful Christmas brunch

'Come on, Lily' I said, finally noticing her friends pointed glares 'I want to show you something'

Lily rose immediately and took my hand, glaring at someone over her shoulder

'What was that all about' she asked when we were out of range

'They're just… confused, that's all'

She nodded somberly the glanced up with meaning

'What?'

'Remember a few months ago when you were leaving for Quidditch practise?'

I thought for a second 'Oh, the day you stole my Cloak?'

'That's the one. You dropped it on purpose, didn't you?'

I looked down hastily

Her face cracked into a grin 'You _did_! Oh, I knew it!'

'Since you had the best invisibility cloak in the world at your disposal, may I ask why you went to visit me?'

She looked me straight in the eye 'I wanted to see you play'

'Why?'

'I'd never done it before'

'Seen me play?' I asked dumbfounded 'Yes you have! You come to every game!'

'No,' she said, taking a step closer until she had to look up at me 'Actually cared about seeing you play'

My stomach erupted into violent shivers, but her gaze never left me

'Do you wanna go for a fly today, Lily? I promise I won't hurt you'

Her eyes widened 'Oh, no. I couldn't. I'm terrified of flying!'

'Not when you go with me. I distinctly recall you laughing when you got the hang of it in first year'

'You remember that?'

I nodded 'Every second'

'Then sure, James Potter. Just let me grab my cloak'

With that, she kissed me on the cheek and ran up the stairs, not bothering to look back. I touched my cheek hesitantly, a wide smile breaking out on my lips

I was taking Lily flying

**Yes, that's right. Two abnormally long chapter updates in not even a day. I'm on a **_**roll.**_

**For the record, Lily and James still don't consider themselves to be dating; but rather as I quote 'really **_**really**_** good friends. This will change, I assure you, but not quite yet**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! (Yes? hah. I knew it)**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	12. Marauders vs Well, Everyone Else

-Lily-

'Okay, first off, you need to call the broom. Put your hand over top of it- no, like this- ah, that's right- and say "up"'

I did as James said, and to my delight, his brand new Silver Arrow shot into my hand, and I toppled back slightly as if pushed

'Great!' James said, taking his place on the broom 'care to get on?'

I stared at the broom like a flying disease 'Now?'

He smirked 'Sure, how 'bout now?'

I carefully sat on the broomstick and put my hands around his middle 'ready?'

'As ready as I'll ever be'

With that, James shot off the ground into the sky

Needless to say, my 'skills' hadn't improved since my last little encounter. But the sky was blue and it was Christmas, so I tried my best to enjoy myself

'Alright so far?'

I nodded numbly into his shoulder

'See, riding a broom isn't that hard,' he explained 'you just have to be confident'

Oh, we all know he had enough of that. An overdose, I daresay

Then James landed softly onto the pitch 'Okay, your turn!'

'What?'

'I've had my fun, and now,' he said, pushing the broom into my hands 'it's your turn'

'I'll- I'll fall!'

'Not if I'm watching. Now, get on just like I taught you, good, and kick off lightly'

I did so carefully and lifted from the ground into the frozen sky. I must've looked like a first year, but at least I was having fun. Merlin, James was right- it's gorgeous up here.

And then, James was beside me

'James?' I asked, my broom handle pitching a bit from the sudden turn of head

'Whoa, careful there, Lily flower' he winked 'I told you it was beautiful'

'It is. It's like a panoramic view!'

'A what?'

'I can see everything'

'Ah, I see'

'So,' I brought up 'What now, seeing as thought I can fly'

'You could try to catch me' he said, a mischievous grin on his face 'Come get me, Lily!'

And I did, over and over again. Once, we collided leaving us both frazzled, but recovered once I began laughing. Then he joined me. Then I couldn't stop laughing and tears ran (and froze) on my cheeks, leaving me with odd ice build ups I couldn't get rid of. This made him laugh even harder

It was the best Christmas I had ever had, and it wasn't even lunchtime yet

'James?' I choked out, ridding myself of the last teardrop 'Thanks'

He cracked a half grin and my heart melted 'Anytime'

…

-Sirius-

This was a nightmare

I had just walked out onto the pitch to practise for our next game (Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw) when I heard maniacal cackling and was stunned to see two brooms and a glint of red hair

My jaw dropped. This was a new personal low

'Oi, James!' I called, walking onto the pitch 'Whatcha doing?'

'Teaching Lily over here, how to fly' he said, landing gently with expertise. Lily, on the other hand, landed in a series of ten foot drops, and collapsed onto the snow

'Lils, you okay?' James asked, helping her up

'Yeah, Merlin I have to work on that' she said, brushing off her cloak

I stood in awe. James had dated at least two billion girls and never before had he had this much care for one. It was quite shocking to say the least

'Hey, we haven't opened presents yet!'

Lily slapped a hand on her forehead 'That's right! I completely forgot!'

'What brings you here, Padfoot?'

I shrugged 'Came to practise'

'It's Christmas'

'Hasn't stopped you'

James took a step forward 'What's your problem? Your acting odd'

'Nothing.'

'Come on Lily,' he said, not taking his eyes off me 'Let's go'

The new couple left without another word

I glared at the abandoned broomstick. James always said a real Quidditch player always took care of his broom before anything else. That little fact irked me. Lily was changing him-my best mate

And I wasn't one bit happy about it

…

-Alice-

Marlene and I had just left the Great Hall when all of the sudden a whoosh of air swept from the door. We curiously turned the corner to see… Lily

Carrying a broomstick? And laughing with James

I bit my lip. That prat was taking over my role. I was the one who made Lily laugh, for, for five years now!

It upset me that this was our first Christmas together and all she did was ignore us

'Marlene, I say an intervention is in order'

My best friend nodded as we watched the receding couple run up the marble staircase. 'Now, in fact. Round the Marauders together; we've got to end this'

…

Twenty minutes later, the six of us sat in Gryffindor common room, contemplating this-this _problem_

'Lily isn't thinking right' Marlene said forcefully, her anger causing the fire to roar 'This isn't like her'

'I agree' Sirius said, looking at Marlene with mock respect 'James is being a git; no way this is going to last'

'Did you see them this morning?' Remus spat 'Sleeping together! Merlin.'

'They didn't sleep together, I saw James leave her after she fell asleep' I stated sadly 'but he did kiss her'

'He _kissed_ her?' Sirius exploded 'how blunt can the guy be?'

'He loves her, isn't it obvious?' Peter said 'I mean, he's always loved her. It doesn't take much to notice'

'But this is getting out of hand.' I said firmly 'did you see her face when we all left last night?'

'Utterly love-struck, that's what they are' Remus said 'Now, if we're going to break them up, we need a plan. And a ruddy good one at that. They can never know, and never find out that it was us who did it.'

All nodded in agreement. Remus prodded his robe until a map of sorts tumbled into his hand

'Now I need you two to swear that you'll never tell' Sirius said quietly in the crowded room 'it's one of the Marauders finer secrets.'

I hesitated, and then nodded. Marlene followed suit

'Good' Sirius brought out his wand 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good'

And then, out of nowhere, words appeared.

'What. Is. _That?'_ I asked dumbfound by the newest pronouncement

'The Marauders Map' Remus said, taking it from Sirius' hands 'now, we just have to find them'

…

-Lily-

As soon as we entered the castle, we ran up to the Gryffindor common room, presents in stow

'Hey, what are _they_ doing here?' I asked breathlessly as I spotted my lot, and _his_ lot all talking anxiously to each other

'I don't know' he said stoically 'No idea'

'Whose do you wanna open first?'

James looked down at his mess of gifts 'How about one at a time?'

'Sounds good. Your turn' I said, pushing a gift into his open hands

'I-I can't. No, you go first'

'Why?'

'Because _I_ can't go first when my _girlfriend_ is waiting for me'

I sighed 'that's just it, James. We can't date'

His eyes tore from the gift into my waiting eyes 'What?'

'We should be friends first, you know? Not go too fast'

He nodded numbly

'And then, if that works out, _then_ we can date. But not now, I'm not ready for it'

James pulled out a half smile and handed me a rose colored gift 'Here then, open it'

I looked at him oddly, and then opened the gift. It was-it was…

'Is this from my parents?' I breathed, not daring to believe it 'Are you sure?'

'Look at the wrappings then, if you don't believe me'

I did, and smiled with satisfaction at my father's neat print

'So what did they get you?' James said, leaning in to get a better look

'Um, baking, a new- is that a jumper? - A new jumper, some, some sweets, uh and, and this'

I held up a mother of pearl bracelet 'And I think I saw an earring piece too- just wait a moment' I said, holding up the matching set

'My mum is all for tradition' I explained 'in my family, at fifteen, you get a new pearl set'

'Why?'

'You know how witches and wizards get a gold watch, right? Same concept, just in Muggle terms. It's a coming of age thing'

He nodded 'My turn'

I handed him a gift from his expansive pile, and he opened it like a first year

'James? Just what are you doing?'

'Opening a present'

'Like that?'

He pulled a pouty face 'What's wrong with that?'

'Nothing, nothing. Just show me what you got'

He did, and it very well have filled the hole of Honeydukes by the expanse of it

'Is that, is that all for _you?_'

He pulled out a Botts Every Flavour Beans package and grimaced at the first taste 'Me and the Marauders'

'Well that's kind of your parents'

'They're like that' he said, pulling out a Fizzing Wizzbee 'they like to help people. Aurors, you know'

I nodded 'Yes, dark wizard catchers. Help to stop You-Know-Who'

'Don't call him that'

I looked at him in apprehension 'Why?'

'Because that's not his name. His name is Voldemort'

I cringed slightly

'What? Fear of the name only makes you more scared of the person, my dad always said'

'True, that makes sense coming from an Auror'

…

-Sirius-

'Everyone got it?' I said, standing from my armchair

'Yeah, but Sirius? What if this isn't right?'

'Whaddya mean, Peter?' I said, crossing my arms and pulling a serious (no pun intended) face at the cowering prat in front of me

'I mean, not that it's important or anything,' he said quietly, his fingers constantly twitching 'but don't you think we should, I dunno, leave them alone?'

I roared in laughter 'Oh, now Peter. Let's not be daft. James and Lily together is not only harm to them, but to us as well. James will come back, and everything will go back to normal if you plan on helping'

'Of, of course Sirius. It's all for the greater good, destroying their love life'

'Pft, course it is'

'Come along them, and let the games begin'

…

**I must admit, I was a little disappointed at the lack of, well, pretty much everything for the last two chapters. I don't want to pry, but it always helps to tell someone what you think.**

**And if you get the chance, check out A Very Potter Musical. I promise it'll make you laugh. I sure did, all the way home**

**Anyway, thank you for reading and hope to update again soon**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	13. The Plan Unfolds

'Mmm, pass the filling, Peter'

Peter looked at me in delight, and without breaking his gaze; he placed the full bowl into my hands

'Um, thanks. Hey, Lils. Whatcha doing tonight?'

Lily smiled from beside me and gripped my hand under the table 'Why, I have no plans, Mr. Potter. Any suggestions?'

I grinned and took a piece of turkey

'Oh, so you're above answering now, _really good friend?'_

'Oh yes. Ask anyone'

But Lily just blushed and started a nervous conversation with Marlene

'So, Padfoot' I said, turning around 'What did the Marauders accomplish today?'

He placed a finger on his chin 'Let's see, Peter, Remus and I opened our gifts together, went to breakfast together, and spent the rest of the day in the common room, with _each other'_

'So you had a good day then?'

'Oh, splendid'

'Well that's good'

He glared and me and refused to speak

'What's with him?'

Peter followed Sirius' example and didn't answer

'Did I do something wrong?'

Remus sighed 'What do you think you did, James? Do share'

'Nothing. I spent the day with Lily'

'So-'

'So what?' I said, my voice strengthening 'What's wrong with that?'

'Everything. Absolutely everything'

'Why would that be, Mister Black?'

'You know,' he said, rising to my height 'That I _hate_ that name, James'

'Which is why I used it.'

Thanks for ruining Christmas, James. Thanks a lot'

With that fact on my mind, I stormed out of the hall.

I ran, and ran, and ran some more, until I found myself in front of a blank sheet of rock. I was slumped up against it, attempting to catch my breath, when something peculiar happened

The slab of empty stone grinded and creaked until a rusty iron door swung towards me. On second impulse, I grabbed the cloak out of my bag. Wouldn't want to get caught on Christmas Day

The room surprised me, as it was almost an exact replica of my bedroom in London. It even had a fresh cup of tea on my favourite armchair

I slunk into the room and silently shut the door, sitting in my armchair; sipping my favourite tea. How it got here, I had no idea. But I wasn't about to give up the opportunity to be at home and think through the day

So, I had a girlfriend.

Wow, that took more time to digest than I thought. I mean, everyone knew I liked her, and my past record of date attempts were against me, but all I could think of was _why now?_

It may have been Christmas, but that didn't explain why she picked me. Me? Now I feel so guilty

I spent the whole day with Lily, not even giving my friends a second thought. Sirius was right; I did ruin Christmas. And if this was what dating her meant, I almost didn't want to risk it. I mean, there's got to be another five hundred girls in Hogwarts, she wasn't the only girl.

Well, she was to me.

And all I could think of whenever we were together is how much I wanted this to be forever, her comfortable in my arms.

When we were flying this morning, I couldn't help but notice when her shirt rode up, and for a mere second, a shred of creamy white skin showed in the bright sunlight. It sent so many shivers up my spine that I ran into her, leaving us both gasping for breath

And sanity, for that matter.

She was everything I wanted us to be. She was my other half- we were a perfect fit. I can never forget what she looks like after I kiss her; so elated, but warm and happy. She kissed so passionately, so lovingly, that even if I tried, I would never be the one to break off. Her eyes were so beautiful, her body, her hair; I wanted her so badly.

And yet, I didn't.

She was breaking apart my friendship. When I was with her, she was always on my mind. When we were apart, I was constantly missing her. I don't think this is normal, for someone to love this deeply. I was going to get hurt, and if it happened, I could never forgive myself.

Silence followed this pronouncement, and for the first time, it was welcome. I didn't need thoughts, or people right now. What I needed was self, and being alone didn't scare me as much as it had even yesterday.

I was James Potter, I didn't need people.

Not anymore.

…

-Lily-

When James left, my first instinct was to rush after him.

Much to my disappointment, both Sirius and Marlene pushed me back, leaving me with a bewildered expression

'What was that for?'

'We need to talk'

I looked up at Remus 'bout what?'

'You and James'

I sighed 'Our love life is no one's business but ours. All of you would do well to learn that'

Sirius glared at me 'It is our business when it's hurting people, like it is now'

I scoffed 'Oh, so who are we hurting now?'

'Everyone, and you two are simply to daft to see it'

'I'm- we're not hurting you!'

Alice looked at me with tears in her pale eyes 'Yes you are, Lily. Being with him hurts us'

'You want me to choose?' I whispered, tears swimming in my eyes

'Yes'

I gulped back tears 'This isn't fair, of, of any of you! My first stable boyfriend, one whom I've liked, for, forever, and you want to break us, apart! I-I _hate_ you! Hate you all! How _dare_ you!'

But as I was about to get up, Marlene came to my rescue

'Lils, its, it's for the best'

'What did you do to him' I hissed, pushed my best friend into a wall 'How _DARE_ you, Marlene McKinnon!'

My eyes shone with anger, forcing her to cower

'Ladies, Ladies!' a voice said, pulling us apart forcefully by magic 'Explain yourselves!'

Professor McGonagall looked furious, but for once, I dared to defy a teacher

'…'

'Verbally, Miss Evans!'

Marlene stepped forward 'It was me, Professor'

'My office. Now'

…

**-McGonagall's office, one hour later-**

'So it was Potter who started this all?'

I nodded numbly

'Back to your dormitories, both of you. Don't expect this issue to resolve easily, ladies'

I nodded again and led Marlene down McGonagall's steps.

'I'm sorry, Lily' she burst out sobbing, clutching the banister for support 'I'm so sorry'

I was slightly taken aback, but accepted her apology nonetheless.

'Why are you sorry?'

Marlene left without a word, and didn't stop crying until we were halfway up the marble staircase

'Lily, I'm so sorry'

I sat down next to her and rubbed her shoulder 'Why?'

'Because I-I didn't want to do this to you'

I stopped and looked her in the eyes 'What do you mean "do this to me"'

'There was-was a plan' she blubbered anxiously 'to split the two of you apart'

'James and I? why?'

'Because you were ignoring us!' she burst out, causing anyone else on the stairs to turn and face us 'you were ignoring everyone else Lily Evans!'

'So do you agree, or disagree, because I can think of a whole host of things I'd rather do right now'

'I-I don't know. But don't tell, Lily. Please?'

I sighed 'Promise to leave James and I alone?'

She nodded 'yes, yes of course'

'Then I'll see you later, Ms. McKinnon'

'Bye, Lily'

…

**Seee! To all those who hated the last few chapters, well, now you know where I'm going with this. Lily an James, the classic forbidden love story. But what will the Marauders and Alice think? What about James? Will they're relationship last?**

**Hmm?**

**(Ahem) thanks for reading, and don't forget to review! I mean it!**

**I mean, guys, its right there**

**-Silence Nevermore**

**P.S. My many thanks again to constant reviewers- ThisLoveHasNoCeiling and Skater of the books! Keep it up**

**P.P.S and lets see if we can't get 35 reviews before the next chapter! Or maybe I won't update!**

**Just kidding,**

**Or am I…**


	14. The Road That Leads to You

**So, many thanks to all those who reviewed :) it was so inspiring that I felt the need to update (or procrastinate)**

**Thanks again!**

-Lily-

That day went by far too fast, and before I could blink, it was Easter; which meant I had to leave

Again

My parents have this tradition every year, and Hogwarts and all the jinxes in the world aren't going to stop this 'thing' they have going on. As they see it, 'it brings the family together.' But I beg to differ. There had been more fights and tears on this occasion than the rest of the year combined.

To say the least, Petunia and I aren't even on speaking terms anymore; and it brought my mother to tears. I couldn't do that to her, not when I thought I had lost everything. Turns out there were a Death Eater attacks in Spinners End, not far from where Snape lived. By the looks of things, they were recruiting.

Or, as I liked to think, attempting to recruit.

'Miss Evans, answer the question!'

I sighed and looked through the ghastly form of Professor Binns, wishing for once that I didn't know the answer

'It was the Muggle Rebellion of 1463, sir, which upset the Portuguese ministry the following year'

He nodded crisply and turned around once again to lecture until the whole of fifth year fell asleep, which to my delight, happened rather quickly.

So when the bell clanged, I grabbed my notes and walked smartly up to the seventh floor to enjoy my break before lunch. It was rewarding, after a morning of lectures, to sit and relax for an hour before life caught up with me again.

I climbed through the portrait hole and walked up to the girl's dormitory, eventually just levitating my bag due to the stain. It wasn't until I reached the fifth year's spiral staircase that I reached a surprise

'Hey, Lils' he said, leaning against the wall as cool as can be

'James? What are you doing here! I thought you had-'

'Muggle Studies?' he shrugged 'technically yes, but I figured spending time with you was more important'

I huffed 'You need to pass your O.W.L's James'

'I need to live too, Lily'

I sighed and invited him to sit next to me, which he gratefully accepted. But I didn't end it at that

'Come on then' I said, standing 'You say you want to live, Potter?'

He stood and faced me 'Always'

'You have to love yourself before you can ever love me. You know that, don't you James.'

'But I already-'he hesitated 'I already love you'

'But were so young…' I whispered

'Not to me.' he said, lifting my chin 'You say I need to love myself first? Think of yourself, Lily. If you loved yourself, none of this family business would bother you. You could, you could be free from it'

She looked at me with tear stained glass 'Are you telling me to leave? To give up!'

'No, sweetheart, I meant the exact opposite!' I begged, taking her into my arms

'I can't- I _can't_…'

'I know love. I know how much you love your sister; just your expressions show me as much. But be strong, be safe too. Be the Lily Evans I fell in love with.' I stroked her hair softly, and let a tear shatter into her curls 'Please, for me'

Lily stood and took my hand 'Then come with me James. Come home for Easter'

'Lily' I said softly, whiping away her glassy tears 'I would be honored to'

…

-Lily-

'Come on, love. Up you get'

I looked at the train operator softly, and without making eye contact, I took his white gloved hand and stepped onto the Hogwarts Express

'James, you coming? The trains about to leave!' I said quickly, watching him furiously waving his quill

'Yes, just-just give me a second'

I stared at him oddly but joined the rush to find an empty compartment. He joined me a few moments later, looked flushed in his robes

'What was that about?' I asked, whiping an ink smudge off his sleeve

'I had to send a letter'

'You do realize' I said, emphasizing every vowel 'that you can send a letter from the train? You have Evona right?'

He glared at me 'It's rather hard to lose an owl like that, Miss Evans, if you do recall'

I laughed softly and leaned in, my cheeks in my hands 'But then why did you have to send it then, may I ask?'

'No, you can't ask. But if you must know, it was a letter to the Marauders'

I smiled 'What about?'

'Just- personal stuff' he sputtered out, looking embarrassed

I had the grace to look away 'I thought Remus was coming home too?'

'He is' James said 'Turns out dear old Moony had a girlfriend none of us knew about. A certain Christine Tateraq. Do you know her? I thought she was in Hufflepuff'

I racked my brains 'did she have black hair and-and'

'Purple eyes?' he completed raising his eyebrows 'Oh yes. Us Marauders like to branch out, with those green eyes of yours'

I blushed 'My mother's green eyes'

'Can't wait to meet her'

'You didn't answer me,' I said, absentmindedly looking out the window 'About why you had to send the letter then'

'Because I had to show that I cared, Lily. I'm family, and I let them down'

I looked anywhere but at James for the better part of half an hour, seemingly impressed by the smallest things; such as when Yasmine Daea walked passed us on the way to the loo. I blushed anytime I felt eyes on me, but for once; my small frame was working to my advantage. I could pretend to be asleep and he wouldn't notice

'I'm sorry' he blurted out suddenly 'that wasn't fair'

I looked up and faked a fatigued expression 'Bout what?'

'That I let them down by staying with you' he whispered 'I didn't mean it'

'I know. I'm the same way. Seems like their intervention struck deeper than we thought, eh?'

'Yeah, it's hard not to feel bad when they are our friends'

He leant back and crossed his arms behind his head 'Things are changing Lily, and nothing anyone can say will stop that'

I smiled and reached for my bag, which was, at least a foot away from my highest reach

'Here' James said, grabbing it for me 'let me'

'Thanks' I said feebly, and groped inside of the change purse

'Whatcha looking for?'

I cringed as I dug deeper, finally pulling out a novel, and holding it open for him to see

'Is that one of those crazy Muggle books?' he asked, turning a page like he would in the Monstrous Book of Monsters

'Hey, it's not going to bite' I said gently, taking the slim novel and opening it on my lap

He glanced at it warily 'Sure it won't'

'What are you going to do while we wait?' I asked, turning to my bookmarked spot

'Well, I know I should catch up on homework, but we both know that _that_ isn't going to happen. So I guess I could, um, just sit here awkwardly'

'It isn't awkward unless you make it awkward, love'

He pretended to contemplate, but then leaned deeply against the tall back and sighed. Maybe he could just sleep, I saw his expression say. Sleep and not let a boring girlfriend deprive me of it

I laughed softly and kissed his cheek 'Sleep tight, Prongs'

He smiled from underneath his eyelids 'Night, Lils'

…

**My goodness gracious. It felt like that chapter went on forever. I hope it sounds okay, as it was written in chunks. **

**As for me, tomorrow is touch of class day! I am so excited, as we all dress up and get appies and dessert in one (of 3) of the gyms. Such a good idea for Valentine's day…**

**On that note, I hope it goes well for all of my lovely readers from, well, it looks like you come from everywhere! That is by far my favourite graph to read, as I like to know where my readers come from!**

**In the lead (to no one's surprise) is US, with like, a zillion and 2 hits. In second place, is the UK! Which is funny, because as a Canadian, I can't write britishly(?) to save my life.**

**Oh and Canada? Pull up the slack guys! The freakin **_**US **_**is in front of you! We want a 2010 Olympics finish, (Canada over US hockey! Gold medal! Don't wanna brag, but it's BIG up here!) Thank you very much. But my many thanks to readers from all over the globe; international cooperation for the win :)**

**By the way, give me ideas. I need them, desperately, I daresay. Any form of a helping hand is greatly appreciated, as are reviews.**

**Always :D**

**Love you all,**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	15. And You Must Be

'And you must be James! Lily's told us so much about you!'

I snorted and looked away until I could get the image of James and my mother hugging at _Kings Cross Station_ out of my head. His embarrassment, translated exactly to solid blackmail material for me.

So, a win-win solution any day

Finally, my mother released my boyfriend from a bone crushing hug and turned to me

'Oh, Lily! I almost didn't see you there!'

She then embraced me and kissed my cheek 'Come along, darling. Your father and sister are waiting for us!'

James took my bag and charmed it to hover (locomoter) which it did immediately and hovered at my hip like an anxious puppy. He then grinned at me like an idiot and followed my raving mother back to the car

…

The whole drive to the house consisted of an eccentric conversation about magic and wizards between James and my parents. At any mention of any abnormality, Petunia would hiss and say _freak_ under her breath, causing me to beg this ride to be over. One more screech and I was out of there, under age or not.

'So,' my father said as we pulled up 'I understand the two of you are here for the weekend, correct?'

I nodded and opened my door, hastily stepping onto the pasty cement.

But James continued on, and without another word, my sister stomped past us and swung open the door, leaving my good books once and for all

…

'Care for some tea, dears?' my mother said, stringing a paisley apron 'round her neck

'Yes, please' James said politely, sitting on the couch next to me. He leaned over and whispered into my ear

'Alright so far, Lily-flower?'

I nodded and fixed my eyes on a Muggle painting. When I had the courage to look at James again, his eyes were darting to any object he could find

'What's that?'

'A tape recorder'

'Whaddya call _that_ thing?'

'James, that's a vacuum cleaner'

'_What is that!_' he said, mesmerized at the vacuum

'It-it cleans floors; picks up all the mud and dirt'

'Or you could just use Evanesco' he offered 'My mother uses it all the time'

'My parents are Muggles, James'

Meanwhile, said parents stared at James with a laugh in their eyes. I could almost imagine them wondering why he didn't know what a vacuum cleaner was

'Tea's ready' my mother managed, setting the narrow tray on the coffee table

'Thank you Mrs. Evans' he said, taking her cup 'Sorry, but Muggle houses are just so fascinating! I've never been in one before!'

I cringed, but as always, my parents were simply ecstatic

'You _truly_ didn't know what a tape recorder was?' my dad said awestruck 'why, that would be fascinating to see it for the first time!'

'What do wizards do for entertainment?' Mum said, taking a healthy dose of cream and sugar

'Well, I'm on the Quidditch team' he explained 'on a broomstick, as it were'

'A flying broomstick!'

'Yes' James said proudly. I rolled my eyes 'top of the model. Got it for my birthday last year'

'Would you mind-'my father began, his eyes blazing

'Oh, not at all!' he said, rising and rummaging through his trunk; spilling the contents all over mums rug 'know it's-OW! Sorry Evona, ah ha! Here it is'

He proudly let go of his Silver Arrow and let it float beside the coffee table. Upon sitting down, James looked mighty pleased with himself

'So it actually _flies_!' My father said; jumping up with enthusiasm I hadn't seen since first year 'Brilliant!'

'Yes, it's my racing broom' James said, whipping out his wand

'Oi, no magic outside of school' I scolded, holding out my free hand

He sighed and tucked his wand into his robes 'Sorry, Mum and Dad are wizards, never had to worry about the Ministry before'

'Oh if we all of us were allowed, my life would be _so_ much easier' I reminisced dreamily

'Only two more years, love. Then you can do _all_ the housework and cooking by a wave of your wand!'

'I bet Petunia would love that' I muttered

'Sorry, Lily, what was that?'

'Oh, nothing Mum'

'So, what is Quidwitch?'

'Quidditch, sir. It's our sport, us wizarding folk. It's hard to explain the rules, but I'll try. You see there are seven players on each team: one keeper, one seeker, two beaters, and three chasers. Sorry, I'll explain what those are in a moment. Yes and three balls: one Bludger, one Quaffle, and the Golden Snitch…'

I leaned back to exempt myself from the exhausting rules of Quidditch. After being in Hogwarts for five years, I still didn't completely understand; no matter how many times James and Sirius explained them to me. For some reason, being on a flying broomstick a hundred feet in the air wasn't my first idea of entertainment. I still showed for Gryffindor games, but that was only to cheer on my house. (And if it was against Slytherin, booing them in return)

But my parents were an exception, being as though the Wizarding world was unknown to them until five years ago. When the first's rolled around, my folks had to see everything Diagon Alley had to offer; from the sweets shops to Borgin and Berks. Everything for once was within their grasp; and they relished this fact with uncertain glee.

'Do you understand?'

My parents looked at him in pure confusion, their faces matching mine exactly

'Of course not. Silly me, Quidditch is very confusing, and by the looks of things, I've only made things worse. Oh, well. That's that.' James said, smiling warmly at them

'What about you dear? How was Christmas?'

'Oh, it was fabulous, Mum. We had a good time. James taught me how to fly'

'_You can fly? You'll have to take me, Lily!'_

I laughed softly at my eccentric parents. They were like little kids again; so out of place with what I've grown to know. And I love every moment of it

'Not really' I smiled 'I think I'm a hopeless case, but according to James I'm improving'

'Any new thing is improvement, love' James said, grasping my hand quickly; but letting go just as fast

'How long have you been dating?' my mother asked, the gleam ever present in her bright green eyes

'Since Christmas Eve night' James said 'it was rather poetic, if I do say so myself'

I slapped him playfully 'Oh, yes. Always the gentleman you are'

He rubbed his arm and looked offended 'I thought I did a good job'

'You did. I wasn't saying you weren't'

My daddy set down his cup and looked at me softly 'That long? You didn't say you were dating since Christmas in your letters, Lily-Flower'

'Cause I was more worried about your safety than informing you of my love life dad' I said quietly

'My life?' he laughed 'I'm as healthy as a horse, Lily. I was never in danger!'

James gulped and looked up 'Um sir, she wasn't referring to your health'

My dad's face shifted from amusement to horror before I could blink, causing tears to prickle in my eyes

'Did Lily tell you about Lord Voldemort, sir? Tom Riddle? Well, he's an example of a wizard who went wrong. What Lily was worried about were his followers, the Death Eaters, who were quite near your house at Christmastime. They were recruiting, you see, and if he found a connection of those who resisted, like Lily and I, and you two, you could be in serious danger.'

I looked down as tears fell into my lap, but my parents sat as still as a Petrified person; someone who had all the life sucked out of them. Finally, my mother looked up at me, matching tears in our eyes and ran to my side; embracing me and crying for what seemed like hours. James just looked at me sadly and kissed my forehead; standing and taking the tea tray back to the kitchen, sensing the emotions that weren't his to see. I was grateful, yet redundant to see him leave my grasp, as I knew my parents needed me right now. But I wanted him; James, beside me. Holding my hand and telling me that all will be well; everything will be okay in the end, no matter how hopeless the fight may be.

And I wanted it. Merlin, I wanted peace so badly that it caused new hot memories to spill from my eyes. But together, two was better than one; and we would win this fight no matter the personal loss. No matter how long it will take. As long as I had him, everything would be okay.

Peace would come when I least expected it; and now, laying in my mother's arms, I felt it for the first time in years. Calm.

And it was a feeling I dared to accept.

…

**Another chapter! That makes a chapter every day since Friday! Look at me go…**

**As always, reviews are more than welcome, and reading it is far more than I could ask for. My thanks to each and every one of you, from all over the world, for reading my work. Putting something out there and going out on a limb was hard for me, and all these responses can bring a tear to my eyes :) again, another thing I couldn't bear ask for.**

**Thanks again, you all mean so much to me 3**

**Love,**

**Silence Nevermore**


	16. Exploding Snap

'I _hate_ you, Lily Evans! How _dare_ you bring someone home, someone who's like YOU?'

I instantly felt my eyes filling. She actually hates me

'You, you mean it, Tuney?'

'Don't call me that' she snapped 'of course I mean it. You and that boy may as well run away together, be far better off far away from us _normal people'_

'I am normal!' I pleaded with her, taking her hand before she snapped it away 'Please, believe me!'

She sneered through her grey eyes 'you are positively as far from normal as possible! Get out of my house!'

She then slapped me across the face.

'Lily?' a new voice gasped 'What happened to you?'

I felt the strong arms of James push me behind him 'What did you do to her?'

'Nothing' Petunia sang, sitting down at her tacky vanity 'Nothing at all'

'Then why is your _own sister_ crying? May I ask you that?'

'How am _I _to say' she asked, carefully applying ruby red lipstick 'I must be off, meeting my new sweetheart, as it were'

'Vernon?' I gasped 'that boy that you work with? Why on earth would you do that?'

'Because I am. And since we are no longer sisters, I did not feel the need to inform you of this'

'NO LONGER SISTERS?' James roared 'HOW _DARE_ YOU? YOU'RE A FAMILY FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!'

'Because I say so' she pranced out of my old bedroom, knocking my mirror over with a smirk and shut the door with certain finality.

I collapsed into his arms

'Lils, what-what happened?' he said, rubbing my hair

'Petunia, she, she called me an _awful_ word'

He gasped into my shoulder 'What did she call you, Lily?'

I shook my head into his shoulder

'What did she call you?' he said with a raging fury. Which fortunately shook me enough to answer

'A-a she, freak' I made out

'A freak? And she isn't one herself?'

I shook out sobs into his welcome arms

…

'Petunia, where are you going love?' I heard

'Anywhere but here' my ex-best friend spat, which I heard, even two floors up

'But sweetheart' my mother begged 'Where are you going to go?'

'Anywhere that doesn't board a witch'

'Petunia!'

Then the door slammed, and I heard the familiar sound of resonating sobs

…

-James-

I couldn't _believe_ what had just happened. My family would NEVER do anything like that; they were the nicest people in the world. Lily's parents were so sweet; I had no idea how a prat like that came into existence through them. It was mind boggling

'Hey,' I whispered into her hair 'do you want to go for a ride?'

'Where?'

'On my broom. I'll take you somewhere'

'But the Muggles-'

'Won't see anything if we go after sunset' I said, whiping away her hair and standing

'Thank you James,' she said, whipping away a tear I didn't notice 'I'm sorry. I've never cried this much in half a year than I have in my whole life'

I laughed without enthusiasm 'And none of it was your fault; don't you forget that. Hey, do wanna play exploding snap? I think I brought the cards- hold on'

I then ran down the steps to the guest room and flung open my trunk. To my delight, the set was right there on top

'Come to the sitting room, Lils. We can cheer both you and your parents up'

…

'What is it?'

I smiled at Mrs. Evans stark joy 'Exploding Snap, Ms. Evans. It's another wizard game I'm quite fond of.'

I offered at hand of cards to her, but she readily refused 'Oh, no. I would never learn the rules. I would much rather watch you two'

I smiled and offered Lily the hand instead, which she accepted with a thankful grin 'Care to start?'

'Sure' she said, laying down her first pair, which to her delight, was a match; so she slapped her wand down on it

'Why do you get all the luck?' I said, slapping down yet another mismatched set

'Because I'm better at it' Lily smirked; now up by 13 points

'AHHH!' Ms. Evans screeched as my hand exploded 'WHAT JUST HAPPENED!'

'It means I won' Lily said jubilantly 'So his hand exploded'

'THIS IS A _GAME_! YOU COULD BE INJURED!'

'But it's so fun! I burst out laughing, in which Lily's parents copied soon after. Before long, the girls fight was long forgotten and replaced by a memory no one could forget.

'What would you like for dinner?'

I muffled my last laugh and looked up at Mrs. Evans in surprise

'Um' Lily said, standing for my defence 'anything of home would be wonderful, mum'

She smiled and totted off to the kitchen, leaving the pair of us alone with Lily's father

'What do you two plan on doing before everyone arrives?' he asked, stretching his feet out on the coffee table

I looked at Lily 'anything, really. I'm just here to help Lily'

'Help her? May I ask why?'

I hesitated 'Because she could guess that this was going to happen.'

Mr. Evans shifted uncomfortably 'then why couldn't she ask Alica or that Marla girl you're so fond of'

'Alice and Marlene, Dad. I don't know, really. It just seemed right. And this way, you could meet each other'

I copied Mr. Evans uncomfortable behavior and cautiously sipped a glass of water

'And also' Lily piped up. Merlin, once she starts… 'I just wanted to make up for Christmas, not being home for the first time'

Her father nodded firmly and grasped her spare hand 'Of course, love. Your welcome home anytime'

Needless to say, I let go of her other pretty quickly, so we sat uncomfortably side by side on the antique sofa. Mr. Evans coughed

'So,' he began, squirming anxiously 'How have things been for you two?'

'Oh, it's gone great Dad. But we've only been dating for four months'

'A lot can happen in four months, Lily'

I gasped 'Oh, nothing like that! I mean, we're only fifteen!'

He nodded happily 'that's all I wanted to hear. Thank you for not making that any more uncomfortable than it needed to be. Your mother left just for that reason.'

He then left, leaving us alone in the spacious sitting room

'So,'

'So?'

'Yes, so'

'What "so"'

'What do you wanna do?'

I nodded towards the backyard 'Why don't we have another flying lesson?'

'It's five in the evening, James. The sun won't set for hours'

'Says nature. Not my wand'

'James, try not to get expelled within the first hour of being here, okay?'

I sighed 'You're so unfun'

'Unfun?'

'Oh yes. Another fine Marauder word for people who say foggy stuff like that'

Lily shook her head and stood 'We could watch the telly, go for a walk-'

'That's for Muggles'

'You _are_ a Muggle for the time being. Get used to it'

I gasped, and threw my hand over my heart 'A Muggle? I'm Pure Blood!'

Lily burst out laughing 'Not thinking of joining, are you?'

'Could join with Sirius, be best friends with his infamous family, and old Voldemort himself!'

'What did I say about saying that name?'

I shrugged 'if he's truly as powerful as they say he is, it won't matter what you call him: he'll kill you either way'

'Don't talk like that!'

'Like what?'

'Like you could die tomorrow! Its twisted! And messed up, and-'

'I'm not going to die tomorrow, Lily.'

'You could. And I would die when you did.'

'Hey, and you told me that _I_ was being an idiot'

'You are an idiot'

'Thanks Lily'

'Anytime, James'

…

**Another end of chapter!**

**Not to be pushy, but I've gotten very little feedback for these last few chapters. I'm not going to beg, but it helps so much.**

**And to answer SkaterOfTheBooks **_**excellent **_**question, it really isn't that bad in Canada. Personally, I prefer it. So pretty and spacious, to be tour guide Lyssa. **

**To refer back to the mathematical part of Fanficion, I recently discovered some viewers from a place called Isle of Man. Personally; I think it's a brilliant name. So well said, men on an island… Many thanks to all my readers from there! And if you are from there, or know where it is, for that matter, feel free to explain it to me :)**

**Another fun place name I found was Kenya. I think that's so cool, to have someone read my work whose so freakin far away. I've always wondered how that works, perhaps I'll write a story about it!**

**Thanks again for all my readers; all over the world :)**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	17. Awkward Pronouncements

**Yes, yes. As mentioned previously, I could never come up with a game like Quidditch. The rules confuse me, and the prospect of inventing a flying broomstick frankly freaks me out a bit. I can come up some things, but Harry Potter, although not yet born (derp…) was not mine**

**On with the dinner!**

'Lily, dear would you mind getting the door? My hands are full of dough'

I leapt to my feet and opened the door with a smile 'Hello Auntie Martha, Uncle Ben! Care to come in?'

My least favourite uncle grunted a feeble welcome, but my aunt began talking even before she entered

'Terrible weather, you know; kept us at the station for _hours_. Ben and I have so much to tell you about that fat woman that was in our compartment'

Like you, I thought, but ignored it and forced another plastic smile; which was known becoming painful to keep

'And who might you be?' she asked as she shed her pink rain on the coat rack 'I've never seen a _boy_ in this house before!'

'Um, I'm James' he said, holding out his hand 'Lily's, um, friend from school'

'Are you two dating?'

I flushed crimson and slumped in a chair next to James 'Um, yes?'

'What school was it that you attended?' Aunt Martha asked, sitting down and peering down at her teacup

'Hogwarts, Martha. That magic school, remember?'

Martha acknowledged her brother-in-law 'Ah yes. That's right. Thank you Daniel.

'So what is it that you learn at this Hogsworth, Lily?' she asked, sipping her tea cautiously

'Hogwarts, Aunt Martha. We learn… magic, in its plainest sense.'

'Where is that Grace?' she asked, folding one fat calf over the other 'I haven't seen her since Christmas! I have the _most intriguing_ news to share with her. In the kitchen, I presume?'

My dad nodded quickly, and his sister-in-law waddled away

'So, Ben. How's that business going?'

My uncle huffed and sat up straighter 'Work is long, but so far, going well. I'm just upset that Martha doesn't want children, because now I'll have no son to bequeath it to'

'You could always give it to one of the girls;' my dad offered 'I'm sure Petunia would love to take over in a few years. And Tilly's showing prospect of baking'

'Tilly?' he guffawed 'That niece of mine would burn more than bake! No, not her'

My dad looked taken aback 'That baking she sent for Christmas was lovely, I ate every last butter tart'

'Hellooo!' a voice rung out, a door slammed 'Tuney? Lils? Where _are_ you two?'

I sighed and got up to greet my dad's family 'Hey, Tills'

She smiled and flicked her blond hair, making me wince 'Don't make me jealous'

Tilly's laugh rung out like bells 'Oh, and your jealous of _my_ hair? What bout yours, Lils? I would _kill_ for those curls'

I smiled weakly 'Come on; let's go upstairs before Rosie and Layla show. I couldn't bear to deal with three year old twins right now. Oh, come on James'

Tilly gasped as James bound up and ran after us, taking two steps at a time

'Who are _you_?' she asked, turning on the steps 'A new beau perhaps?'

'Yes.' he said securely 'Lily and I are dating'

'_Since when?_' she drawled, her sapphire eyes blazing 'Is _that_ why you didn't come at Christmas? Had a secret sweetheart you wouldn't tell us about?'

I blushed, but this time, my cousin had the grace to begin a new conversation

'So how was your school year going so far at _Hogwarts_?'

I grinned 'Great. Fifth year is a lot of fun. I could _finally_ drop Divination and Muggle Studies. Those classes were_ horrid._ But now, I'm in Defence Against the Dark Arts, Arithmancy, Care of Magical Creatures; oh, and we were feeding unicorns the other day, Charms, Transfiguration, Astrology, Herbology and History of Magic. It's all rather fascinating.'

Tilly looked envious

'That's so not fair! Why do you get all the luck and be a witch?'

'It's not as much fun as it seems, Till. Like, Ancient Runes this year is awful! I can't to be finished my O.W.L's this year!'

'O.W.L'?'

'Yes, Ordinary Wizarding Levels. All fifth years take it in June'

'Oh, like the Ordinary Levels?'

I smiled 'Yeah, something like that'

Tilly continued up the stairs to mine and Pet- I mean my room and sat on my bed

'What about you James? Enjoying school?'

James spun around at mention of his name, then relaxed and sat on my desk chair 'Oh, yes. It's great; we have a lot of fun. Where do you go, Tilly?'

'Rochester Independent College, it's in London. Boarding school, like Hogwarts, but not nearly as entertaining'

James cracked a grin 'I don't believe that. You get to take easy subjects like Matamatics and stuff'

'Matamatics?'

'Isn't that what you Muggles call it?'

'Muggles?'

'Non-magic people' I clarified patting her knee 'it's what we wizarding folk call it'

'Oh, I understand' Tilly said, pulling out a remote from my bedside drawer 'care to watch the telly for a while? I understand Aunt Grace has dinner on'

'_What is that?'_ James said, rushing forward to grasp the black plastic 'Is it some sort of Muggle tool? Something that opens doors?'

Tilly and I both burst out laughing

'Opens doors? That there, that's a television remote' Tilly said between gasps

'What does it _do?'_

'It turns on the Telly from here'

'How?'

'Why, I don't know! You've never truly seen a television remote before?'

'No, but have you seen a broom before?'

'A broom?' Tilly asked 'Of course I've seen a broom!'

'Not a Broomstick you haven't. Muggles, think they know everything. Here, give me a moment. I did promise Lily over here a ride before dinner'

I attempted to protest, but James just pointed to the window and smiled; the sun had just set

'Sure James. But just a quick one, we can't be late for dinner'

'The-broom… _flies_?'

'Yes. He's so proud of it, on the Quidditch team for our house'

'Quidditch?'

Suddenly, James was back

'Quidditch? Why, it's the best game in the world! You see, there's two teams, seven players each, and-'

'No need to explain, James. You'll only succeed in confusing her more' I said with a smile

'Lily! James! Tilly! Dinner!'

I scrambled off of the bed and flung open the door; James and Tilly on my heels; the broomstick long forgotten on the floor. It wasn't until we reached the dining room that I stopped running

'How nice of you to visit with us, Tilly' Aunt Ruby said with a plastic grin as the three of us sat down 'your uncle was asking about school'

'I was upstairs with Lily and her new beau, mum' my flustered cousin said brightly 'we had a good time'

'As good as that may be, Tilly, you should have been down here watching the twins so we adults could talk'

'Sorry mum'

Dad coughed and stood

'I must say, Happy Easter to all, and for this fine day, I propose a toast: to Lily, as tough times are ahead, and she took them on like the Evans she is'

My mother gave dad an odd look, but winked at me 'to Lily'

Everyone's glasses clinked and I sat with an aura of supreme embarrassment. Why would he toast me?

But I sat up straighter and pointed to James beside me 'for all those who are unaware, this is my new beau, James Potter'

Everyone's eyes swiveled, facing the unusual couple; not to mention my first serious boyfriend. James smiled and grasped my shaking hand under the table, giving me the support I didn't know I needed

'A boyfriend? For Lily Evans? It's an outrage!' my favourite uncle Lewis joked 'Who would've guessed it, eh?'

'Not us, that's for certain' my mother said, taking a healthy scoop of mashed parsnips 'Care for some Lydia?'

'Oh, no thanks. Watching my weight since the twins was born. But I'll take some of that salad please.'

'Lovely as always, Grace'

Mother blushed and looked down 'It was nothing, Martha. Just something of home, just like Lily asked'

I smiled

'Where is that Petunia? I've been meaning to ask her something' Uncle Ben said, his mouth full of dressing

'Oh, she's on a date with Vernon. He was in the area tonight, and she didn't want to miss it' my father lied smoothly 'she may be back in time for dessert, however. You could ask her then'

'Oh, I will. She good at baking, you figure?'

'The best. Grandmother taught her herself'

'That's all I needed to hear!'

…

**Yes, well for all those who were confused, Lily's family line was completely my own; so no, it may or may not make sense, but I'll try to explain it here:**

**Lily's parents, (Daniel and Grace) Grace had two sisters, and Daniel had a brother**

**Daniel: Lewis, who married Ruby and had one daughter, Tilly who is coincidently Lily's favourite cousin. This family and the Evans are very close and often get together.**

**Grace: Had a younger sister, Lydia, who, who married William and had two twin daughters, Rosie and Layla who at the moment are three. Lily, Petunia and Tilly were the best of friends, but I decided to not make her mention Petunia, as that would be a weak spot already. Oh, and they all hate Aunt Martha and Uncle Ben, who are a lot like Vernon, which is where Petunia got the gene from. She is also Grace's elder sister. **

**So, as a refresh, here it is**

**Daniel (elder brother, Lewis)**

**Grace (Older sister Martha and younger, Lydia)**

**Cousins: (in order from eldest to youngest) Petunia, Lily, Tilly, Rosie/Layla. All girls for a reason, some sort of malfunctioning gene, I think. **

**And the grandparents are way old, like Grandmother (as mentioned to have taught Petunia how to bake) is on her last legs and (ahem) probably won't last too long**

**And Lily is the only one in the family to have acquired the wizarding gene; or so it seems…**

**Thanks for reading! Hope that didn't just confuse you more!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	18. Knew it by Heart

**Broomsticks are excellent, I would kill to find one, but unfortunately, I can't fly one, nor come up with one, so rest assured that I am not JKR**

-James-

'When it comes down to it, I really don't dislike flying'

I looked at Lily in confusion 'you, you hate flying-'

'Not anymore' she said, swinging her empty hand by her side 'I'm growing quite fond of it, actually'

'Are you ready then?' I said, flinging my left leg over my broomstick and holding out my hand 'Your father would murder me if I ever let you fall'

Lily smiled and her eyes twinkled as she put her warm arms around my waist 'Take me away, Potter'

I shuddered and kissed the backs of her hand: I could feel her smiling into my shoulder. She kissed my neck in return

I forced myself to clear the dopey haze, and kicked off harder than I ever had, sending us shooting a hundred feet into the air

'JAMES!' she screamed into the receding air 'SLOW DOWN!'

I lifted up the broom handle quickly and spun around like I do so often in Quidditch; searching for another catch. Lily shuddered and gasped behind me; clearly shaken

'Hey, Lils, you alright?'

Lily nodded quickly and wound her arms around me tighter. Merlin, her touch was so infuriatingly addictive…

'James?'

'Hmm?'

'I was asking on where you planned to take me; seeing as though we can't exactly take a broomstick into a tea-house, can we?'

I chuckled softly 'We could, it'd be a riot, that would.'

Lily's laugh rang out like bells 'Sure, James. Be the one to give me that image. Muggles screaming left right and center, the matron running around in circles-'

'And- and crumpets flying into the window'

'We could always charm them to fly our way. I can still remember you corrected Sirius and I in first year on _Wing_ardium Levio_sa_' I exaggerated

'You weren't saying it right!'

'Like it matters!'

'You didn't answer me' Lily said, attempting to tie back her wild curls 'Where are you taking me?'

'A little place I know'

…

'This is- this is…'

I smiled cheekily and threw my hands in my Muggle jean pockets; pleased by Lily's reaction

'Spectacular! Utterly spectacular! However did you find it?' Lily burst out, throwing open the tall cherry doors, admitting herself in glee

'Well, I was flying around with the Marauders a couple of years back, and by accident, Moony ran out of steam on this mountain-top. Full moon was near, you see, so we stopped to rest for a moment. Sirius and I went looking for a snack, and found this place! Our very own mountaintop café!'

Lily grabbed my hand just as I stuffed my broom in my pockets, amusing her greatly, and led me to the front desk

'For two please' I heard myself say, and out of another's control, I found myself sitting in front of a crackling fireplace with a water in my hands

'Lily?' I asked her, attempting to look suave by sipping my glass 'What do you wanna after you graduate?'

'Oh, I don't know.' She said, sipping a crimson concoction I didn't have a name for 'Perhaps a healer? I want to help people. Of course, I could be an Auror, I have the potential, or-or a-'

'You have quite the ideals, Miss Evans'

'Only the best'

'I always thought you would make a good Auror; those reflexes could save my life someday'

Lily blushed severely and shrunk down at my touch

'What? It's completely true!' I burst out

'That's why it's so frightening!'

'Being with me for longer than Hogwarts is frightening?' I asked, trying not to sound hurt 'Why?'

'Because, because that's wishing for the impossible!' she cried 'that's assuming that You-Know-Who isn't going to win'

'That's Voldemort, Lily. Call him by his proper name'

'Whichever! It doesn't matter, don't you know that? Vol-' she took a deep breath 'Voldemort almost killed my parents, James. I know how powerful he is; how many he has at his command. He could kill everyone I love, just to get to me. I'm sorry, but I-I can't go through that. Not again'

I stood agape, not even bothering to close the opening. Did she mean it?

'Hey, I'm not going to let that happen' I said, placing her frozen red drink on the mantle 'I would die if that meant defeating him. I would sacrifice myself to save the people I love. I would, Lily, and Voldemort himself isn't going to stop me'

Lily's eyes reduced to slits, and she looked away with a trace of tears. I instantly felt horrible for forcing this on her. So much, and so soon…

'I think we should be just friends, James'

Now it was my turn to look confused 'Whaddya mean, Lily?'

'I mean, well, wasn't that what you wanted?'

'Ahem'

Lily and I both spun to reveal an annoyed looking waiter whose crisp moustache was beginning to quiver

'What vould you like?' he asked, his thick French accent marring his words

'Sorry, what was that?'

'Vhat vould you likes to eat?

'Um, it would be easier to choose if we had menus, so to speak'

The vulture like man forced his gaze to Lily 'Dey are there. Right in vront of tu'

'Do you understand French?' I whispered to Lily behind my menu 'Because I sure as anything don't'

Lily held out her hand 'Leave it to me'

She sat up straight and flashed a brilliant smile 'Bonjour, mes amis. I would like an, um, cranberry cheesecake, and perhaps a pot of tea? Thank you'

The waiter nodded yet again and took the black menus with an air of pleasure; almost as though he appreciated another with his native tongue

'When did you learn _that?'_

Lily shrugged 'My parents were French, Petunia and I learned some of it when we visited, you know, just enough to get by on'

I whistled 'Yet another reason, just when I thought I was over my head, you pop out yet another cute quality'

'What? I hate French! I only took it because it made my mum happy!'

'Whatever. I can't believe how stubborn you are sometimes. It might've sent your parents around the bend!'

'Around the bend? Since when did you learn Muggle pronouncements?'

'Since I started dating you'

Lily groaned and stared at anything but me. I followed suit; apparently mesmerized by a ladies rather large hat

'Weren't we just discussing being friends? Just friends?'

'Why? It would only hurt more than it would help'

Lily sighed sadly 'No, James, it's just; we're going too fast. We went from enemies to snogging far too quickly. That's not good, considering we're still at Hogwarts _and_ underage'

'_And_ underage?'

'What would we do' she brought up, retrieving her mysterious red drink 'If snogging went farther, hmm? We would be in serious trouble'

I stared point blank at my half-girlfriend. If it went farther? She couldn't possibly think…

'Look' I said, taking her hand in mine 'I _will_ not, and _am_ not ever planning on going down that road. Not now, not while I'm not yet married. I plan on saving myself, and I can't believe you thought I would push that far. If this is what you want, fine. I won't push it. But I'm trying to save you from making a decision you'll regret later. I really like you, Lily; and I'm not the James Potter you used to know. I won't break your heart, won't hurt you, and most of all; won't leave. Believe me, please. It's the least you could do'

…

-Lily-

I can't believe I was going down this road. What happened to innocent tea time conversations? When did going from talking annoying qualities turn into a face plant into future plans? This was crazy! I was only sixteen…

'Lils? HEllo you there?'

I shook my head and forced a smile 'Oh, just peachy'

'Funny phrase for one who was also named after a plant'

'Did you just attempt to flirt by comparing me to fruit?'

'What's wrong with that?'

'What _isn't_ wrong with that?'

'Oh, and back to your order, what in Merlin's name is Chescake?'

'Cheesecake.'

'Whichever. And with Cranberries? That doesn't sound the least bit appetizing.'

'Oh it is' I assured him, this time aware at where that waiter was 'my favourite, actually.'

'Why's that?'

'Because when I was little, my grandmother taught me how to make it. It's been my favourite ever since'

'I see.'

'What about your grandparents, James? Heard of them recently?'

'My grandparents? My grandparents died just after I was born. I never knew them. When I was little, I would ask Mum about it, but she wouldn't tell me much. Don't cry, it doesn't make me sad. I never knew them'

I sniffed, much to my dismay, but composed myself to mutter a feeble 'thank you' as the crisp waiter placed a tray in front of us; crowding our glasses together on the tiny table. James immediately poured two cups of tea; placing a cube of sugar into both, and placed one in front of me

'Thank you'

James nodded and attempted a taste of cheesecake, which he almost immediately choked, which would've brought on a scene if he hadn't been prompted by me

He coughed 'Thanks, Lils. But, Merlin, this is _so good_! It almost outweighs treacle tart! My mothers, at that!'

'I thought you had a house elf' I said, helping myself to a bite of cranberry sauce

'We do, but Whispy, that's her name, uses the old Potter family recipe. More homelike, you know?'

'Of course'

'But, blimey, they should start serving this stuff at Hogwarts! Its bloody brilliant!'

I laughed easily and laced one hand of fingers with his, which made him look up

'What was that for?'

I shrugged 'I'm still you're _really good friend_, I can hold your hand if I want to'

James looked impressed 'So you wouldn't mind if I kissed you?'

'Oh, not at all'

James smiled and leaned in

To my delight, his teeth still tasted of cream and berries, which made me feel all the more elated. I was kissing James Potter! Right in the middle of a crowded restaurant! This was so unlike the Lily I had grown to be

'James…'

'Lily?'

I brushed back 'Thanks for tonight'

He smiled cheekily 'Your so welcome, Miss Evans. You have a bit of sauce… right there'

He then proceeded to kiss the remainder off

'James. OI! James, stop it!'

He quickly withdrew 'I'm not being a very good _really good friend_ am I?'

'No, but your being a very good boyfriend'

'So we're still on?'

'As far as I was concerned,' he said, grasping my hands and staring into my eyes 'We were never off'

…

**So, **

**(ahem)**

**My apologies for not updating, as I was away all weekend. I hope I got all my facts right, as they just went out to tea after the meal with her family.**

**As for the restaurant, I based it off of an actual mountaintop restaurant in Maui. It was beautiful, all windows and a rustic feel. Coincidently, the last time we went, my brother and I sat in Lily and James table next to the fireplace. **

**So, hope you enjoyed it, and be warned, the next chapter is going to have a time blurp. I'm getting tired of doing a day by day basis, so perhaps it could be that summer next, what do you think?**

**I seems as though no matter how many times I type in 'give me more ideas!' nothing ever pops up. So for the record, lets make this that one time my wishes finally become action. :)**

**As always! Review! Review no matter what you have to say! It's quite honestly the best thing in the world to get a good review**

**Sorry for such a long note, but hey, it had to come out sometime**

**-Silence Nevermore**

**P.S. next chapter, I'll take a minute to acknowledge all those how reviewed, favourited and alerted. Thanks again!**


	19. Keep Us Strong

I couldn't take it anymore. This is what _had to happen_. I am not a Black. Never was, really. And if it came down to it, I would run away. Just like I am now.

So on second impulse, I placed a permanent sticking charm to my Gryffindor hangings. If anything, that would infuriate my mother the most; coming from the blood line of Slytherin's

My trunk had been packed for weeks, and I had everything ready to leave. But what to say to Regulus?

I mean, for all I knew, he was a Death Eater. My _brother_. He was my best friend growing up- we did everything together. But he was always too willing; too frightened to disappoint the family. So here he was, one of the only Blacks I could trust- gone. Maybe for good

Thankfully, I had cleared things over with James, and so, he left me his prized invisibility cloak for the summer; so escaping wasn't the issue. It was just- this was goodbye

Goodbye to that rusty painting that grunted no matter what was happening

Farewell to my peaked walls and crimson hangings- that one window that never fully opened

The last time I would see the scowling portrait of my mother, but that was the one thing I wouldn't miss: her never ending screaming and abuse. You'd think blood purity would only go so far, but no. She had to take the extra steps to make sure I was banished from the _Most Noble and Ancient House of Black_. Like that was something to live up to

'KREACHER? Where is that blasted house elf?' a shrill voice bellowed

'Here, Missus'

'Take this tray to Sirius' bed chamber. No blood traitors will dine with us'

'Yes, master'

'_Yes, Mistress'_ Walburga added, an annoyed tone to her usual shriek

'WALBURGA!' another voice screamed 'BELLATRIX AND NARCISSA ARE HERE!'

'_Well, invite them in you idiot_!' my mother's voice mocked. I could hear my father's heavy footsteps approaching the lavish front entry.

'Why is it that we have a HOUSE ELF WHEN HE WON'T EVEN ANSWER THE BLOODY DOOR?'

'I am here, master' the house elf croaked, halfway up the stairs; just feet from where I was hidden

'Well?'

'I am coming, master. A thousand apologies cannot be given'

'As you say, open the bloody door!'

'Yes, master'

I carefully grabbed my trunk and slipped down the stairwell, narrowly avoiding my mother, who sneered nonetheless. Whether she heard me or not was inevitable, as I just passed a proud Bellatrix when I could hear her screaming

'WHO WAS TOUCHING ME?'

'It was none, mistress'

'I FELT SOMEONE MOVE MY ROBES! SOMEONE INVISIBLE IS IN MY HOUSE!'

'It was no one, Walburga' my father sneered. I felt his hot gaze on my reddened cheeks 'No one but ghosts'

'I thought you TOOK CARE OF THOSE!'

'I did, mistress. I did, just on the fortnight, as you instructed

'Walburga, we are glad to be here. Thank you' the smooth voice of Narcissa interrupted, hanging her cloak on the post 'Bella and I could not be more pleased'

I didn't stay long enough to chat, rushing from that horrid house, grabbing my broom from the shed, and speeding off into the night

…

-James-

'James, would you pass the ham please?'

I smiled and passed the heavy platter to my mother, whose warm eyes smiled at me

'When were you saying the others would be here?' my father asked, magicking his glass to refill with Butterbeer 'Friday? Was it?'

'Yes, but Sirius said he might be coming earlier, depending on how things go'

'How things go?'

'Yes, things haven't improved with the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black apparently'

My father chuckled 'I can't believe we're related to that bunch. Pure Blood mania, that's what they are.' My mother laughed softly at this statement, considering she used to be a Black herself 'You can marry whoever you fancy, James. I could honestly care less about all that ideality'

My face flushed, and I appeared greatly interested at the wizard photographs on the mantle

'How are you and Lily doing, dear?' my mother asked, folding her napkin on her plate as Wispy whisked it away 'Thank you, Wispy. You didn't say much in your letters'

'Oh, just swell'

My father cracked a grin, and dug into his plate of treacle tart 'that good, eh?'

'That girl seems sweet. You should invite her to dinner someday, James. We could have a party, if you will'

'Oh, I'm sure she would-'

Then suddenly, all the lights went out

'Dorea? Where are you?'

'Here. James and I are together. Wispy, come here'

I felt a small bundle enter my mother's embrace that could only be the house-elf, as she began to fuss over my un-tucked shirt

And then all of the sudden, just when the tension couldn't get any worse, the front door flew open.

I was screaming, my mother was screaming, and my father ran to shut the door. Thankfully, my dad found his wand and relit the lights

'Sirus?' I asked, befuddled by his sopping wet appearance 'what're you doing here?'

'I just left.' He said, rummaging through his robes until he found his wand, and then promptly dried himself

'It's happened, hasn't it?' I asked, levitating his trunk to the dining room

'Yes'

'What's happened, dear?' my mum asked, breaking her and my father's silent converse

'I just left my house' Sirius said, flinging his wet cloak on a chair 'hopefully for good'

'Oh, Sirius!' she cried, embracing him although he was at least a foot taller

'You can stay as long as you need, son. As long as you wish' my father assured him, rising to greet him as well 'You can bunk in your room'

'My room?' Sirius asked, freeing himself from a tender hug 'I have a _room_?'

'Well, you've stayed in the same one since first year, so yeah. I guess you could say it's your room' I laughed

'You mean I can stay?' he asked, not daring to believe his luck 'You won't make me go?'

'Of course not! Who but your family would do that sort of thing?' my mother exclaimed 'Wispy, would you fix our new guest a plate? I assume he's had a long day'

'Thanks Mrs. Potter'

'Anytime, Sirius. But _do_ call me Dorea. All that _Mrs. Potter_ business makes me feel loads older than necessary'

'Of course' Sirius smiled, taking the seat beside me

'Had a good summer, Padfoot?' I joked, throwing him a roll

He caught it with ease, being my second favourite chaser (myself being the first) and buttered it; stuffing it in his mouth

'Oi, slow it down!' my father exclaimed 'There's loads more where that came from'

Sirius chuckled but picked up a fork and attempted to cut it like the gentleman he was

'One in the same, you two are' my mum smiled, taking a cup of tea from the platter 'if I didn't know better, I would call you brothers and be done with it!'

'As close as always, mum' I said, stuffing my face with treacle tart

'And you said I was chivalrous' Sirius whispered. I then slapped him upside the head, causing rolls of laughter to erupt from Sirius and my parents alike

'Yes, as close as can be. What about you, Sirius? Any new love interests?'

Sirius sat up tall 'Oh yes, Mr. Potter, A Ravenclaw. Ms. Shelly Andrews'

'Andrews?' I fake gasped, holding my hand over my heart 'I thought she was old news!'

'She was' he assured me, helping himself to my dessert 'Until that last meeting on the train'

'So _that's_ why you wouldn't sit with us!'

He nodded, looking satisfied 'It seems as though you just can't forget Sirius Black!'

My father burst out laughing, but my mother just smiled and jabbed him in the ribs 'No one could ever forget you Sirius. That would take one heck of a potion, probably introduced by miss Evans, I daresay'

'Ah, Miss Evans!' Sirius said, taking a sip of water 'Our deputy Marauder!'

'Deputy?' I asked, completely bewildered

'Oh yes. I took it upon myself to lead young Lily flower to greatness, seeing as though by the looks of things, she'll be here awhile'

I blushed harder than I ever had, even rivaling that to the great Great Hall incident; as the Gryffindor Sixth years so lovingly called it. I then slapped Sirius on the head and immersed myself in molasses

'Be here awhile, eh?' my dad brought up 'I definitely need to meet this girl then'

'Yes, _do_ help James invite her, Sirus. He seems too flushed to do much at the moment, I daresay'

Sirus stifled a laugh and hauled me by the elbow out of my chair, (_hey!)_ dragging me to my bedroom; flopping me on the bed.

'_Be here awhile?' _I demanded, folding my arms against my chest 'Thanks for saying that in front of my_ parents_, Padfoot!'

He just shrugged 'had to be said!'

'But _now_? We've been dating for under a year, and you've basically just BLOODY BETRHOTHED us!'

'Can I be the best man?'

'WHAT?'

'Can I be the best man? I mean, I'm like your best mate'

I gave him my best _WHAT! _face and shrugged 'Uh, sure'

He silently fist pumped himself and sat beside me on the bed 'I'm only saying it because it's true! You and Lily may be exact opposites, but your stubborn attractiveness is just the same'

'Wait, did you just call me attractive?'

'Perhaps'

'You are _definitely_ your own room, perv'

'What in Merlin's name is a 'perv?'

'I dunno, just heard some Muggle saying it'

'Fair enough. So, Padfoot. What _really_ happened?'

…

**Thanks for reading everyone!**

**As for how far I time blurped, it's at least the middle of July now, and the remaining Marauders will be here soon.**

**I know I promised to include what I call a Best Of list, but Fanfiction isn't working right now, so it'll hopefully be up by next update**

**Thanks again and continue to review!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	20. Blood Traitors

**Okay, so here we go. Tears to Roses Best Of lists!**

**Alerts: AliWeasley, Alyssahatesnutella, Christa8D, daughterofhorses, GiBueno, ., HedwigandHarry, living4today, Mia Emerald, Sapphire Leo, siriusfan28 skaterofthebooks, TeamJacobforeverx, TheNamesTaz and ThisLoveHasNoCeiling**

**Favourites: Adalanka, cegever, HedwigandHarry, HpFan109, living4today, Mia Emerald, nikki500, ratherbereading125, Rubyred3107, TeamJacobforeverx, TheNamesTaz, to young to love, and Weasley-and –Proud**

**And finally, reviews: AliWeasley, skaterofthebooks, Go. Marauders. And. Lily, HpFan109, HedwigandHarry, living4today, ThisLoveHasNoCeiling, marinewife08, Renee LilyEvansPotter, and Shannon!**

**Thank you all so much!**

**On with the story!**

-Lily-

When it comes to summers, this one was a whopper

Petunia was a menace when she was home, but when she wasn't, the weight of her engagement was almost as bad as her herself. The walrus deserved nothing; especially not my sister

I slopped down the stairs, almost dislocating my jaw from overuse in yawns, and slipped into my chair. My father, as punctual as always, was sitting in a business suit, drinking caramel colored tea and smiling at the Daily Prophet

'This came for you, dear' my mum said, snatching the paper away from my dad, whose complaint was never aired 'Your father couldn't help but read in. I've already paid Secrecy'

'Tha-thanks mum'

She smiled at me, and placed a plate on my place mat

My father drunk his tea slowly

'What are you planning on doing this week, Lily Flower?'

'Hmm?' I hummed, hopelessly lost in thought

'What are you planning to do?'

'Oh, I don't know…' I said sleepily 'James' mother invited me to visit sometime, but I haven't decided if I want to yet'

'He invited you over? I would have to speak to his mother, but that sounds pleasant dear'

'Yeah, but the other _Marauders_ will be there'

My mother scoffed 'The Potter's are taking in four underage wizards for a week?'

'And witch' my father added tastefully

'Exactly' I grinned at him, and he tossed me the Prophet

'Anything interesting in here today?' I asked, nonchalantly feeding my owl bits of toast

'Anything to do with magic is supremely interesting, Lily. Coming from a pair of old Muggles of course'

I grinned, but then glanced at the headline 'Did you see this dad?'

He reached over 'Oh, yes. That.'

'_That?_ The Death Eaters just struck in Spinners End! You're in danger!'

'Danger? Why would You-Know-Who want with Muggles?' my mother asked, pouring herself cuppa and sitting beside me 'We don't have any magical blood! Isn't that what he's after?'

'Anyone who defies him is in danger Mum! I defied him! I didn't join! And I'm Muggle born! You could be killed because of what I've done!'

'Lily, calm down. I don't plan on being murdered, nor do I intend to leave before my given time. But if this is as real as you say it is, I'm proud that you stood up to him. I daresay he deserved it, that _He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named'_

'Oh he deserved it alright.'

I couldn't deny, but it sounded peculiar coming from my father's voice. We all knew that he deserved the worst anyone could give him and death was what awaited him, but somehow, it seemed cruel. He may be the most wrong wizard this world had ever seen, but perhaps he had a reason. I would have to owl Dumbledore about it

'Dear?'

I shook and stood up straight 'Yes, sorry mum, but what was that?'

'I was merely telling you that you should accept James' offer! He seems like such a nice boy. Even better, you could have him and his family over for dinner this week! No, Lily, we want to meet him'

I sighed 'But mum, I bet he has loads of other things to do-'

'Nonsense!' my dad burst out 'this sweetheart of yours would like nothing better than to visit, I expect. If not, well, we'll know soon enough, won't we?'

I groaned, we were as well as betrothed after all

…

-James-

'Dear, did you owl the others about this week?'

I hung over the banister, looking down at my mother, who was residing in her rocking chair knitting

'Of course mum. But the Marauders have been coming since first year. We needn't have owled them. Saved that poor owl the trip'

'Evona is only a few years old, James. I don't figure she's over the bend quite yet'

'Oi? Whose that at the window?' I asked, thumping down the stairs, nearly topping over dad's Prophet

'I'll get it, Misser Potter'

'Call me James, Wispy'

She smiled and bashfully opened the panels to reveal a very familiar figure

'Secrecy?' I asked, plucking the thick letter from her beak 'What're you doing here?'

The tawny owl nibbled at the letter, asking me to open it

'What's that you've got son?' my father asked, disregarding the torn paper in the hearth 'a letter?'

'Is it from Remus? I've been meaning to speak with his mother'

'No' I said, confused by the letters contents 'she just asked us all over for dinner Thursday next'

'Oh a dinner party? Isn't that what the Muggles call it?'

'Yes mum. It'll probably just be so you two can meet each other'

My mother rose and summoned her reading glasses, scanning the letter. She smiled when Lily signed her name with 'love' at the bottom

'You've got yourself a catch, James!' she squealed

I blushed

'Oh, no reason to be embarrassed James. I recall my mother being repulsed at the idea of fancying your father. She had some words to tell him, I'll tell you!'

'Very strongly worded, if I say so myself' dad said, rubbing his scarred left arm cautiously 'I have the mark to prove it too. Brutal, that one was'

'Did I ever meet her?' I asked, tucking the letter in my robes 'My grandmother, I mean'

'No, you never did. She died before you were born. I never knew her well either.' My father said distastefully 'Nasty woman'

'Charlus!'

'What are you blabbing about? You never fancied her either!'

My mother crossed her arms and didn't say a word

'You better reply to that letter, James. Lily's mother will be wanting a reply'

I nodded to my father and climbed the steps carefully, avoiding the creaky fourteenth one. When I reached though, I was pleased by yet another surprise

'Moony?' I asked the pale Marauder, who nodded happily 'Wormtail? What are you lot doing here?'

Sirius crossed his arms and huffed 'you invited them you tosspot'

'Why is it that you always forget about us?' Peter moaned, collapsing on his summoned camp bed 'we've only been coming for five summers!'

'Sorry mate, been caught up with my mother'

Moony looked mildly horrified 'why's that? She hasn't found about your Animagus has she? You know what you said-'

'She hasn't found out, Remus. At least, not that I'm aware of, and that woman cannot lie even with the most powerful spell'

'We know' Sirius echoed 'I've lived with you for years. Seems as though she's passed that unfortunate gene on to her only son, eh?'

Peter and Remus roared in laughter, leaving me more pink than I fancied

'Oh shut it. Any of you bring any sweets? I'm starving'

Peter tossed me a licorice wand, which I immediately began tearing apart

'What, now that woman doesn't feed you?' Sirius joked, causing be to choke at his slap 'I've gained a few pounds living with her, I daresay'

I plopped down on the bed and flicked on the wireless, which began spewing news about the new Death Eater, Igor Karkaroff. And all that Ministry propaganda my father spent so much of his time attempting to rid us of.

'Who is that, Dolohov?' Peter asked, taking a handful of Botts Beans, pleasantly pleased by the flavour

'Old news, Wormy.' Sirius made out, struggling to keep a sweet in 'Been a Death Eater for years'

'But what he do?'

'Killed that Molly Weasley's brothers, you know, the Prewetts? And loads other Muggles, not to mention "blood traitors" as they now call us'

'Blood traitors?'

'Any Pure-blood who goes against You-Know-Who. Us, for instance'

'You mean we're in danger?' I asked, feigning terror

'Always have been, Prongs'

'Excellent'

**Thanks for reading! And all those reviews are more than excellent! I would promise cookies, but those don't last long in the owl post. Anyways, happy reading, and have an excellent night!**

**-Silence Nevermore**

**P.S. just so you know, I'm trying my hardest to keep the facts right, and all that happened in this chapter actually lines up to the books. If I screw something over, however, all you have to do is let me know, and I'll fix it for the next chapter**

**Expect another dinner in the next chapter!**


	21. Problems at the Home Front

**Here's a recap on families, so everyone isn't completely confused:**

**Charlus and Dorea Potter (James and Sirius)**

**Daniel and Grace Evans (Lily, Petunia? Mwahaha…)**

**Happy reading!**

'So Dorea, what is it that you do?'

I gulped down my bite and brushed off my too full mouth, choosing like any other time, that it was better if I answered 'Aurors, dark wizard catchers'

'Well that's an interesting thing to be!'

I caught a sideways glance from Lily, who was calm as ever in any situation. My parents on the other hand, looked utterly fascinated at anything and everything in this _strange Muggle house_

'What is it that you do, Charlus, as an Auror?' her father asked, twisting his fork against the grain of spaghetti. My mother caught eye of it and followed suit

'At the moment, quite a bit.'

I chortled my instant retort and shared a smile with Sirius, who was now; a _Potter exchange student_ a he liked to call it. He pulled a crocodile grin and nudged Lily, who shushed us

'Who are your parents, Serious?'

'Sirius' he replied nonchalantly 'my parents are part of the _Most Noble and Ancient House of Black_. An ancient wizarding family'

Lily's mother tucked a strand of curly hair behind her ear 'You say that like you aren't like that'

'I'm not. I don't want any more of that Pure Blood mania'

'Okay, let me get this straight,' Grace Evans said surely, almost as if reciting 'Pure Bloods are full wizards, Half-Bloods have one wizard parent, and Muggle borns are people like Lily, correct?'

Lily smiled proudly at her mother 'Yes, you got it just about perfect'

'Then why is Sirius upset about it?'

I wiped my mouth and folded my napkin on top 'You see families like the Blacks are proud of their pure blood heritage, and anyone who doesn't support their ideals are outsiders. In that kind of family, you have to marry Pure Bloods and in this case, support He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named full heartedly. Some people, like ole Sirius Black- sorry Sirius _Potter_ (he then nodded happily) don't agree with it, and so, let's say it doesn't always sit well with the folks'

'So that means-'

'Grace, I do believe that we're fit for dessert' Mr. Evans interrupted, sharing a glance with my father, who nodded grimly at Sirius' vacant expression

'Of course, excuse me'

Mrs. Evans then rose, glared at her husband, and walked surely into the kitchen

'How was school this term?' Mr. Evans asked, sipping his wine

'Wonderful!' Lily exclaimed 'the classes were challenging, but it's not too hard once you understand the basic concept. I especially liked Ancient Runes. It's so interesting! And Astronomy mustn't be overlooked!'

'What about you two?' he asked with a helpful glance 'looking forward to sixth year?'

'Oh yeah. According to last year's sixth years, it's so much better than fifth. And this year, we can actually choose what we want, well, depending on our O.W.L's' I said happily

'Yes, when do those come again? I hope they know I'm not living _there_ anymore. That would be a nightmare'

'How's dating going?

My heart stopped beating

What was I supposed to say? This was her _father_

'Dad!' she exasperated, looking as annoyed as I wished I could be

'Just a question, love'

I sighed and plucked up my courage 'Great, Mr. Evans. It's going well so far'

He cracked a knowing grin. What in Merlin's name did that mean?

'Dessert!'

I couldn't be more pleased to hear the sound of that word. In the process, both Lily and I wiped our faces of emotion and pulled a fake smile in Mrs. Evans direction

'Is everything alright, Daniel?' she asked, setting the heavy platter on the white tablecloth

'Just peachy'

I snickered in Lily's direction, and grabbed her hand under the table; clasping her warm fingers over mine

'Care for some tea, dears?' she asked, motioning to the floral teapot

'Please' I said, bypassing Lily and Sirius' open mouths 'thank you'

'Do you care to go on the veranda?' she asked us pleasantly 'Get some air?'

'Yes please. It's getting rather stuffy in here, don't you think?'

Everyone just stared at me

'Come on, you lot. Come on'

Lily and Sirius immediately rose and followed me out; much to my parents dismay

I sighed once I reached the porch, breathing in the tired summer air. Lily collapsed on the wicker rocking chair, groaning for good measure

'Well, that went well'

I snorted 'Sure Sirius. It went just _perfectly_. Of _course_ the meet-and-greet didn't work! It was bound to fail an' to make it worse, bloody Petunia is supposed to be here any moment!'

'Hey, guess what?' Sirus retorted, ignoring my rant

'What?' Lily asked, rocking slowly

'I'm of age!' he said, like that should make all the sense in the world

'So?' we chorused, looking at each other, than at the light bulb that went off above his head

'I can do magic outside of school' he said, pulling a crocodile grin

'Brilliant'

…

-Lily-

'What are we doing out here?' I hissed, ducking behind yet another bush while Sirius peeked over the hedge, wand at the ready

'Trying to prove something to you' James said, pulling out the cloak

'Oh, so we're going to hurt someone. Brilliant. So _Marauder_ of you'

'Speaking of Marauders, when's Wormy and Moony coming?' Sirius whispered, ducking under the cloak

'Should be here any moment' the bane-of-my-existence said, peeking at his friends watch 'they said they would come at red sparks'

'But you put that up-_mmph_!' I managed under James' hold over my mouth

I tore his hand away 'What on earth was that for!'

'_Get under the cloak. Now!'_

Shocked by his sudden turn of mood, I instantly complied.

From under the cloak, I was instantly horrified. The people that passed were-were

'Death Eaters' Sirus mouthed, his wand hand shaking 'don't move'

I stood stock still, no matter how uncomfortable I was, I wouldn't move, I couldn't move. Not now. Not now-

'Lily, come here'

I made eye contact with James and immediately took his hand, walking gently through the overgrown bush under the cloak

'We need to move. They're going for the house'

…

'More tea, Charlus?'

I shook my head and watched the empty street. The kids should've been back by now. They we're safe; I couldn't bear to think otherwise

'Dear, are you alright?' Dorea asked me, taking my hand

'We should send a Patronus to James. He knows he should've been back by now'

'Where are those three?' Mrs. Evans said irritably 'don't they know about the threats in Spinner's End?'

'They do' I said toughly 'that's why it's all the much worse'

I hadn't even moved when she set a hand on my arm 'I'll do it, dear.'

Dorea then proceeded to conjure her Patronus (a small silver dove) and send its message away; warning the children to return _this instant_

I sighed

'What is _that?'_

Both Dorea and I spun around to face the Evans; who until a few moment ago, I'd forgotten they were even there

'A Patronus' Dorea said softly 'it protects the person, but it can also send messages. Very helpful, as you can imagine for an Auror as well as for the caretakers of the Marauders

Grace and Daniel laughed, but it was the kind that didn't reach their eyes. They were parents, if anyone, they should know what it's like most

'When will it reach them?'

'Hmm? Oh, we should get a reply any second now; depending on how far they wandered'

At that second, a wispy Patronus appeared on the veranda

'_Can't talk! Death Eaters! Don't-'_

I froze. It was as bad as it seemed

From one glance at Dorea, we whipped out our wands and apparated

…

**Whatever could have happened?**

**Could it involve Snape? What about dear old Bellatrix Lestrange?**

**I daresay you'll have to wait!**

**Keep reviewing! Up to 45 now!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	22. Trust My Word

…

-James-

'JAMES! _DUCK!'_

At that precise moment, an influenza of blue light shot over my head, apparently reaching its target

'Confringo!'

'_Crucio!_'

Thankfully, neither of the spells made it through, giving Lily, Sirius and I time to draw our wands and assume a loose battle stance.

'James, here!'

I immediately complied and assumed a battle stance; scowling at the Death Eaters while attempting to keep Lily behind me

'How… heartwarming' a chilly voice spat, flinging away his Death Eater mask

'You can never take me'

Lucius Malfoy mocked a smile 'oh the Dark Lord will be so pleased to hear you complied'

'Complied?' Sirius shrieked from somewhere behind me 'what makes you think that we would _ever_ join you?'

'Sirius Black' another spat, casually tossing her mask into the woods 'what a disgrace you are to the family'

'I'm not here to hear another lecture Bellatrix' Sirius barely whispered 'and don't you d_are_ speak to Potter that way'

'Potter? Ah, cousin Potter! What a-_ delight_ it is to see you again!' Bellatrix purred, tracing her fingertips on my jaw, which Lily promptly bit

'You insolent little _beast_!' she roared, pulling out and brandished a knife, slitting Lily's cheek

I pushed Lily behind me into the bush and screamed the first curse that came to mind

'EXPALSO!'

'AVADA KEDAVRA!'

'Finite Incantatem'

I spun around, just long enough for the other Death Eaters to respond, and flung the cloak over Lily, who stirred and became invisible

'Sirius!' I begged, and he blocked a shot as I ducked

'Thanks mate!'

'Don't mention it!'

Sirius and I stood back to back, completely overwhelmed by what must be fifty odd Death Eaters, when suddenly, a bright blue light appeared; my mothers dove

'Can't talk! Death Eaters! Don't-'

Then Bellatrix's knife was on my throat

'_Who were you contacting?' _she shrieked, taking my dropped wand

'No one! It wasn't me!' I begged, scrounging up whatever I could to get a handle, but Bellatrix just shoved me down harder

'You LIAR!'

'No! It wasn't!' I pleaded, feeling the sharp taste of blood

'Sectumsempra!'

And then, I wasn't there anymore

I saw screams, blood and horror beyond measure. I saw Lily and a baby, dead on the floor. Sirius, Remus and Peter, holding my dead body over an altar. My parents, Lily's; forced to duel. My father falling. Dumbledore and McGonagall crying; watching Hogwarts burn to the ground

No, stay- STAY AWAKE

And then Lily kissing me, Remus laughing, my parents smiling at me; leaning in for a hug. Our first view of Hogwarts; tipping the boat over, and laughing. Becoming Animagi for the first time

I felt a red body being yanked away from me, the feeling of healing, and the undeniable sensation of apparition

'No-'I whispered, squirming to get away 'no, Lily, Sirius. Can't-'

The figure grunted and left me; wherever I was

I coughed, something red spilling out into my hands. I touched my face; my arms. It was everywhere

'No' I pleaded to the waning horizon 'no…'

…

-Dorea-

_Previously _

_At that second, a wispy Patronus appeared on the veranda_

'Can't talk! Death Eaters! Don't-'

_I froze. It was as bad as it seemed_

_From one glance at Dorea, we whipped out our wands and apparated_

We arrived in a swirl of color, dropping to our knees in a moon deprived deep

'James!' I screamed 'James! Lily!'

'SIRIUS!' I heard Charlus shout 'WHERE ARE YOU?'

'Lumos' I heard myself whisper; instantly basked in the familiar blue glow

He raised his wand and doused the light 'no, not yet. Could be still around'

The night screamed with thunder, then burst with light; illuminating a figure. A small, solitary figure with blood on the leaves and a name carved on her wrist

Lily

With another that wasn't her own

Both were crying, but only one was still functioning; one that still had tears pooling in his black eyes

He saw me, saw us and poured her into the grass; her arms wrapped in shame, and her eyes shaking with guilt

'James, no, James' she sobbed, settling back into Severus Snape's arms

I fell to my knees and accepted her tears, almost dismissing this boy that wasn't hers. But I couldn't, I guess I knew it wasn't my place to be; even as an Auror. I couldn't bring him from her; no, I couldn't

'Lily-'Charlus whispered, drawing his wand

'No' the boy demanded, placing the girl in his arms 'no she's too weak. Bring her home. Take care of her. I'm begging you'

I looked up at the boy 'what happened?'

'Death Eaters' he whispered 'I took care of Sirius and James for her'

'Where are they?' Charlus demanded, settling the girl against his chest

'On a hill, not too far from here' he said wistfully, whiping his blood stained hands on his robes 'they're-they're safe. But they can never know, understand?'

I was taken aback, but Charlus stood quickly, hovering Lily at arm's length

'Will you be alright?' I asked him, looking over his various wounds

'Yes. Take care of Lily!'

I grabbed hold of my husband's hand and apparated

…

-Sirius-

'No, Malfoy, no!'

I rolled over and took sight of my bloody best friend; who was shrieking in semi-consciousness. I got up and hobbled over to him, shaking his tattered shoulder

'James' I said urgently 'Turgeo!'

Immediately, all the blood and grime vanished from his scared face, and I leaned over to help him up

'Episkey' I commanded, healing his broken arm and nose

'Lily?' he murmured, rolling over to face me in the dank moonlight

'Where are we?'

I looked up, there wasn't much to distinguish this place from others, but from what I gathered, at least we were alone

'She's not here, mate' I said gently, looking his over to conclude that I healed him completely, which was unfortunately hard to digress

'Where is she, Sirius?' he begged, his eyes pleading 'what have they done to her?'

I shook my head and looked down at his shadow. James groaned and got up, startling me into raising my eyes

'We have to find her' he concluded, rising to face me 'we_ have_ to'

'What about Moony, James? And Wormtail! We have to be together to find her! We can't do it alone!'

He sighed and walked the length of the cliff, slowly turning to face me

'Where are we?' he repeated, staring into the insolent sky

'I-I don't know, James. Someone apparated us here'

'Well, can't you apprate us home?' he asked impatiently, kicking a rock over the edge, watching it fall

'No, one of us will get splinched'

James yelled in frustration and sat on a tree stump, his back to the world

'We have to find her, Sirius. You don't understand. I couldn't stand it if…If'

'It's not like that, James' I shoved at him, holding his shoulder in a brotherly way 'she didn't get hurt. You protected her! You gave her the cloak! She's probably back at the Manor already, safe at home'

He shook his head 'no, she's not. I can- I can almost _see _her screaming and thrashing. She's in trouble, she needs us!'

I looked at my best friend sadly. Who was I to guarantee a life? Say that everything's going to be okay? No, I couldn't bear to lie to the one I trusted most. Not James, not again

…

**Do be noted that this is part two of the Death Eater fiasco. There will be at least another chapter on it, and then it'll be school!**

**I hope this answered all of your questions but if you're still confused, look forward to the next chapter**

**Keep reviewing! I want to get to at least fifty by next chapter!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	23. Coming Home to Red

-Peter-

'They should've been back by now'

I sighed and watched Remus get up and pace once more, walking from one end of my dingy bedroom to the other, almost as if the answer will spring from the walls and into his grasp

'Perhaps you could send a Patronus?' I said feebly, folding and unfolding my hands

'No, mine would be too easily recognized' he mused; now folding his hands behind his back

'What about the mirror?'

Remus sprang from his line and grabbed my shoulders 'that's right! James always has his! Always!'

I cringed 'Yeah, but Sirius may too'

Moony glared at me and resumed his formal march 'what about the cloak?'

I sat up straighter 'Maybe, but James gave it to Padfoot, remember? Last summer'

Remus gestured angrily to the house 'don't they have a house elf? Does nothing work in this bloody place?'

'Oh yes, remember Wispy? She took a fancy to my trainers in first year? I like that elf.' I said happily, resuming in reading my book 'Any idea where she lives?'

Remus thought for a second 'I thought I heard Mrs. Potter saying something about the closet on the third floor. Shall we start there?'

I shrugged and ducked under the low doorframe 'it's all we got. May as well'

…

-Charlus-

'Dor, help me lift her, will you?'

My wife grunted apprehensively but used all of her strength to haul Lily Evans to our front porch; where she lay mumbling, still drenched in her own red blood

Dorea collapsed next to me, carefully rearranging Lily on her lap

'What about the boys?' she asked, fear in her bright blue eyes

I sighed

'We have to contact the Aurors' I repeated stately 'Kingsley will know what to do'

'But James-'

I took her hand 'Will be fine until we can get help. Two retired Aurors and an injured sixteen year old girl aren't going to help. We need to wait'

But then, out of the blue, I heard voices. Two very distinct voices that I had known for many years

Down the street, promptly at the same time, two figures walked pompously towards us. I recognized that gait anywhere; not to mention the midnight blue robes and tall Scottish accent

I stood, whiping the blood off on my robes

'Dumbledore' I said apprehensively, shaking his outstretched hand 'you got the call'

'Oh that' he said, his blue eyes smiling 'no, I did not of any sort, however, Minerva and I just thought to pay you a visit, concerning the present situation'

'Won't you take a seat' Dorea smiled weakly, gesturing to the bloodstained white porch swing

'Dorea,' Minerva breathed, standing over Lily's frail form 'what has happened to this girl?'

'Death Eaters' I said, mumbling a healing spell, which took effect immediately

'Wingardium Leviosa' I heard my wife mutter, placing the girl on the elevated seat

McGonagall and Dorea immediately began the flurry of spells; leaving Dumbledore and myself quite alone sitting on the porch steps

My old headmaster didn't look at all uncomfortable, in fact, he was almost at home; humming and watching the apologizing sunset set awkwardly over the high hills

'Dumbledore,' I whispered, folding my legs over the steps 'people are helping right? Sirius and James-'

'Couldn't be in better hands' Dumbledore said happily 'Kingsley himself went to fetch them'

I smiled 'when will they return?'

Dumbledore pulled an odd little trinket from a robe pocket and didn't respond 'Oh, in good time Charlus. Has anxiety ever helped?'

I sighed 'What about Lily?'

The headmaster looked at me in surprise 'why, I was about to ask you the same thing! What do you suppose happened to her?'

'Bellatrix Lestrange for sure, Malfoy and the Snape fellow-'

'Oh no, you must have misunderstood! Those are merely Death Eaters, helpers of the cause. No, to kill a plant, a Muggle one, that is, you need to pull it up by the roots; get rid of any loose ends. Do you understand?'

I put the pieces together silently, but each time coming up with another solution. Dumbledore just smiled and fiddled with that odd contraption of his

'Sir?'

'No need for formalities, Charlus. We are, as they say, one of the same now'

'Dumbledore, what is that?'

He looked surprised and held it out on his palm 'why I just invented it. I call it the Dilum-'

'Charlus, come quickly'

I spun and ran up the steps, arriving at poor Lily's side

'Look at this'

McGonagall lifted up Lily's bloodstained wrist to reveal a word- the worst word possible, bleeding over its own. Lily's own tears intermingled with them; colliding and falling like rain onto the white

'Mudblood…' Lily muttered, rolling into my wives arms, which she accepted full-heartedly

'Who?-' I asked, touching my wand to the angry flesh

'Bellatrix' McGonagall made out, taking out her tall witches hat 'her knife; tortures for information Lily didn't have'

'Dad!'

'Moony?'

'_Lily?_

I spun around in the flurry of activity, narrowly missing my son, who ran past me straight to his girlfriend

'Lily…' he said, touching her arm 'Professors, is she going to be okay? Tell me the truth!'

McGonagall and Dumbledore looked at each other, and then my begging son, who had eyes for none other than her

'James-'a voice said from all the blood 'James?'

My son gripped her hand 'I'm here, Lils. Everything's -everything's going to be okay'

She blinked back tears, noticing the scar on her forearm, which James covered with a conjured blanket, blocking it from view

'No, it'll heal'

Lily shook her head again and again, her wounds opening in mass exoduses of blood

'No, Lily stay still' he begged her 'stay where you are! Professor, please!'

McGonagall rushed forward, her wand flashing a rainbow of colors, repairing everything but those words

'I-I can't'

'Moony, Peter, come on. We needa leave them alone' I heard Sirus whisper, leading the boys back into the manor

'Professors' the smooth voice of Kingsley spoke, straightening his robes 'the Order is in need of you two'

They both nodded, and apparated, leaving the four of us very much alone

'We'll um' I cleared my throat 'leave you to it, James. Take care of her. Come on, Dor'

My wife nodded grimly and led the way up the bloody front steps

…

-James-

'You say I'm-I'm injured' Lily spoke, taking my arm in hers, fingering the cuts and burns

''Tis nothing, Lils. It's you I'm worried about'

She smiled weakly 'must you be so noble right now? You have the full authority to complain'

I shook my head 'what good would that do? Doesn't help anything to scream to the wind'

'Pass me my wand, let me fix you up'

I nodded and tossed the familiar willow wand to her, which she didn't catch immediately; scaring me

'Oh don't you worry' she fretted 'my arm just need to heal. Let it rest'

I nodded and faced her, ready to take the full brunt of a mistake

But instead, all I felt was warm, happy; healing. It was a miraculous feeling to have wounds zip up in an instant, bones repair in a wand flick. It made it all the much better that I was there with her

I uncovered the blanket, revealing her angry puckered arm

'No, please…'

I kissed her cheek 'It'll only take a second, love. Give it time'

'She did, such _awful_ things, James-'

'I know, Lils, I know. But let me at it so it can heal'

She hesitated, then placed her immobile hand in mine

'Let me take care of you'

Lily smiled

'Episkey'

With that, the words folded in on themselves, creating a seamless freckly complexion; much to that of what she had before. She sighed happily as the final scar erased itself

'Thank you, James'

I wiped away her tear with my thumb 'Anytime Evans. Care to stay for tea?'

…

**I hope I got everyone there. It was complicated to included so many people in three completely different scenes, but I hope it made sense in the end**

**As a side note, be informed that as of February 23****rd****, Tears to Roses has had 4391 hits! Thank you all so much!**

**Also, I want to keep up the record of twice as many reviews as chapters. We've been doing great so far, but don't let it stop you from reviewing!**

**Thanks again,**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	24. Back to Where

**Gah! You guys are amazing!**

**Since last chapter, we've got at least a thousand more hits! This is absurd!**

**But oh so gratifying :D**

**Thanks so much! And keep up the great work!**

**-Silence Nevermore**

'G'bye love! Remember to write!'

I freed the stubborn window and waved to my parents retreating smile. Before long, platform 9 ¾ was miles away, and I settled into the pleasant compartment, placing Secrecy on my lap

'How was your summer, Lils?'

I turned to Marlene, who was knitting by magic

'Anything if not eventful' I said, pulling down my sleeve a little farther

Thankfully, neither of the girls seemed to notice, and we settled almost peacefully into a calm conversation

'I hear you have a new sweetheart, Alice' I said, attempting to smother my grin 'who was it again?'

'None of your business Ms. Evans' she said crisply, apparently above being embarrassed

'What's that on your neck, Lils?' Marlene asked, fingering the interlocking chain

'A gift,' I said, picking up the heart pendent carefully

'From James, I presume?'

I nodded sadly and placed the necklace under my jumper, not needing a reminder of that horrible day

'ANYTHING from the trolley? ANYTHING from the trolley? ANYT-'

'I'll take a licorice wand, some caldron cakes, 'bout six pumpkin pastries- oh who am I kidding? I'll take the lot'

I smiled in the strangers direction, which he answered by ruffling his thick black hair in my general direction

'Won't you sit?' I asked politely, pointing to the vacant seat on my left

James' eyes lit up 'I would love to! Just let me get the Marauders!'

'I just meant-'

'I'll only be a minute Lily, then you can tell me' he said, sneaking past the lady with a series of apologies. I laughed softly

'Lily? What were you thinking? There isn't room for four pompous boys in here!'

'There will be when Remus and I leave for the Prefect meeting'

'WHAT?' YOU JUST SIGNED US UP FOR A DEATH WARENT!'

'I did nothing of the sort' I said calmly, flipping the page in my Muggle Studies textbook 'besides, from what I've heard, Sirius Black is rather fond of you Alice'

She snorted intently, almost as if he wasn't worth the breath

'He's quite the looker,' Marlene encouraged, pulling out another ball of string, which Secrecy found rather interesting and began to flap her wings at

'Mind that owl!'

I grabbed my birds small claw and brought her back to my lap

'Well aren't you helpful'

James sat next to me and ruffled her tawny feathers 'I strive to please you. Gryffindor Quidditch captain at your service'

'Like I needed help'

He shrugged and grabbed a Bott's Beans from my bag 'Because as I recall, that was the case until now'

I looked down feverishly and let a tear fall to my jean clad lap

At that exact moment, the compartment door creaked open, and we were greeted by mock applause

'Well done James. Well done.' Sirius' voice said, thumping into the adjacent seat 'we haven't even got in here yet and Lily's already crying in joy'

I felt James stir against me, pulling my hand from my face

'No.' I made out 'no, just leave me alone'

James dropped my hand immediately and whispered in my ear

'Lily, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking'

I picked up my heart pendant and gripped it tight, its silver appearance completely differing its purpose

I didn't say a word

The compartment slowed to silence

The door swung open

A voice cut through the buttery light

'I hate to intrude, but the Heads have called the meeting'

The voice left, leaving the door open

I stood

'Come on Remus'

He stood somewhat hesitantly and motioned for me to go first. I did, but in a similar fashion to one walking into a smoke; unknowing, and not really aware of where they are

I was aware of one thing however, in that hour long meeting

What would James have said if we were alone?

What wouldn't he have said?

Perhaps these thoughts weren't supposed for the weak of heart. Maybe the we're composed for a higher purpose; an afternoon of meaningless chatter and no hard questions to ponder

'Lily, you coming?'

I cut across a smile

'Yes, just let me grab my notes'

…

-James-

I don't know what just happened

All of the sudden, words came flowing out of my mouth on their own accord. I wasn't aware of the consequence until I noticed her crying; an unforeseen side affect

What did I say that hurt so much?

'I cannot believe that came out of your mouth, Prongs' Sirius said saucily 'I mean, it's one thing to be her sweetheart, but going out of your way to bring _it_ up was _really_ not your finest move'

'I didn't go out of my way to hurt her Sirius'

'You didn't go after her though' Peter said nonchalantly 'that might've helped'

'Yeah, you know what? That's a great idea. I'll just have to go-go apologize!'

'You already tried that' Marlene something-or-another said haughtily 'and we all saw how well that worked out'

'Look' I sighed 'Lily and I are happy together. You ought to be friendlies, or this isn't going to sit well with either of you. I know for a fact that you all hate each other. I get that, but at least try, for me and Lily'

Sirius shrugged, causing Alice to glare at him, and Peter to turn away from the both of them. I just sat with my arms crossed

'Lily!'

'Remus?'

'What's with all the questions!'

I stood to my girlfriends feet 'care to take a walk? Get some air?'

She smiled, her eyes glad in mine 'You know what? I'd love to take a walk'

…

-James-

'I'm sorry, but the Sixth years have to help bring the first years to Gryffindor! I'll meet you in the common room later!'

I shrugged 'Is that the final answer?'

'Unless you want to have a public display of disapproval in the Great Hall, I'd say so, yes'

I smiled at Lily's flush, flicking a droplet of water at her 'what would be wrong with that?'

'Quite a bit, James'

I glared at Sirius, attempting the Avifors Charm, which turned the remainder of his Chocolate Frogs into feisty paper birds

'AHHH! CALL IT OFF! I'm UNDER ATTACK!'

I snickered at his angered form and summoned the birds, transfiguring them back into their boxes

'Don't you _dare_ try that again, Messer Potter' Sirius gasped 'You know how much I hate birds'

Lily looked abashed 'Sirius Black, afraid of paper birds?'

'You'd be terrified too if you had a Narcissa incident'

'Narcissa Incident?'

'Yeah,' I said 'it happened a few years back when his cousin unleashed a flock of peacocks in his bedroom while he was asleep. Long story short, it's why he has that scar on his left kneecap'

'Ah I see we've uncovered the fetish!' Remus joked, arriving from behind me 'come on Lily, we have to bring the Gryffindor's upstairs'

'You know what?' I said, standing 'I think I'll help Lily today, Remus. Go on ahead'

'But we can't-'

'What McGonagall doesn't know won't hurt her'

He shrugged 'your funeral. See you later, Lils'

'Catch you in the Common Room'

…

**Thanks for reading! Make sure you catch the Academy Awards tonight!**

**(Not to mention that new Hunger Games trailer! Gah! I can't wait!)**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	25. Midnight Endeavors

**Do note that there will be six chapters for sixth year, seven for seventh year. I know that seems short, but in reality, each are at least five pages long and 1,200 words on word**

**Anyways…**

**Happy reading!**

'What is this Muggle device do?'

I held up my hand gratefully, happy that I took such an easy course

'It's a blow-dryer. It dries a person's hair with electricity and heat'

Professor Quirell clapped and moved on, holding a toaster like a bouncing baby

'What is he doing?'

I shrugged at Emmaline's confused expression and continued to copy the notes down; swearing to myself that I would practise them later tonight

Just at that moment, the bell rang and the two of us rang out goodbyes and left to our respective sweethearts, leaving a stuttering Quirell behind

'What class do you have next?' James asked me, slowing down despite the busy corridor

'Ancient Runes'

'Do you learn anything but rubbish in that class?'

I gave him a hard look, and he sorely changed the subject

'But after that means lunch! And it's Friday so we have all weekend off!'

'Joy.'

James hip checked me into the wall, which may have meant to be friendly but really actually hurt

'Oh, I got it. Petunia's wedding shower. Should be fun'

I groaned 'not only that, but it's her _third_ wedding shower. The first two didn't work out because of my 'freakiness' (which wasn't my fault, by the way) and Mum made her throw a third. I have been forced to obey her every word from now until her wedding next year'

James looked abashed 'what is a wedding shower anyway? It doesn't sound the least bit friendly'

I managed a dry laugh 'it's where a whole bunch of people get together to play games and give the bride and groom loads of gifts'

'That doesn't sound too bad' he encouraged, jogging up yet another staircase

'It is when she critiques everything I do and say. If I so _think _about magic, she'll murder me on the spot'

'Can I come?'

I stifled a laugh and joined him as the staircase altered itself 'wedding showers are really a ladies thing, James. You could come, I guess, but most likely you'll be the only male there'

James masked an easy laugh and grabbed my free hand 'doesn't sound like a bad thing to me. Loads of good-looking women for me to pick from'

I smacked him upside the head and took my place in the hallway intersection, following the flow to Ancient Runes

'Why are you even coming this way? Care of Magical Creatures is outside'

'Is it a bad thing to walk my girlfriend to her class?'

I crossed my arms and glared at him 'yes, especially when Professor Kettleburn is sure to throw you in detention if you get caught'

James reached into his bag and pulled out a sheet of water. I sighed

'You know you can't always get away with things because of that. It isn't nearly fair to the rest of us'

James grinned and pecked my cheek 'it's fair now'

The last image I saw of him was a grinning face and a body that stood proud before it shrunk into nothingness

…

-James-

'I am… _so_ glad today's half-done'

I looked over at my best mate, who at the moment was shoveling pie into his mouth like no tomorrow

'By the look of things, it'll be more than half done when you fall asleep in Divination'

'Oh aren't you puny?' he snarked, throwing it down with a goblet of pumpkin juice

'I try my best. The inner eye is terribly fatiguing'

'Fatiguing?'

'Oh yes'

'Really?'

'Indeed'

Remus cleared his throat 'so what are we doing this weekend gentlemen?'

Peter thundered down in the bench across from us, helping himself to generous helpings of shepherd's pie and pudding

'Where were you Wormy?' I asked, wiping my mouth with the table linens

'Detention with Filch. He made me scrub the fourth floor corridor portraits, and continue after dinner'

'We can help you, you know' Remus brought up, scowling at the dirty table cloth 'perhaps even find some new passages for the map'

'Precisely what I was thinking, Padfoot!'

'Maybe we could invite the Prewetts?'

'Fabian and Gideon?' I laughed 'Nah, they're in seventh year. Far too old for a midnight adventure'

'You're never too old for secret passageways, Prongs'

I nodded in Sirius' direction, laughing all the same. Remus eventually joined in, and before long, we were laughing the way it should be

'Hey, what 'about Lily? And Alice?'

Remus chuckled 'Lily is most likely studying, and if I know Alice, she's in the greenhouses with Sprout' he stopped 'why?'

Sirius managed an incoherent mutter and took a huge bite of pie

'Sorry, Snuffles dear, what was that?'

'Don't call me Snuffles!' he burst out, his face matching the raspberry pie remnants on his cheeks

'Oh but you love it! Just as much as you love Alice!'

'I DON'T LOVE ALICE!'

The Marauders and I snorted laugher at the poor blokes luck as he attempted to grab my cloak from my bag, which I had conveniently bewitched for situations such as these. So it was entertaining to see a full on Bat-Bogey Hex take effect almost immediately. My best friend dropped the bag instantaneously, attempting to look suave while his own bogeys attacked his hair

'Take it off'

I waved my wand, muttering the counter-curse and sighed gladly into my pudding

Meanwhile, Sirius just took his time ridding his hair of the stuff, sending a poisonous glare my way every few seconds. All I could think of was how grotesque his face would look like if I kept it that way. That only caused me to laugh harder

…

-Lily-

'So where did Alice say she was going to be?' I asked, picking myself up from the overstuffed crimson couch'

'She said something about the Quidditch pitch with that Longbottom'

'I heard she was going to see McGonagall'

Marlene and I looked at each other in horror. We had misplaced our best friend!

So we did the only feasible thing we knew: jumped up and ran

'Maybe she went to see both,' I said quickly between gasps, jumping the banister of a trick step 'and just lost track of time?'

Marlene slowed to a stop, gasping on the landings marble floor

'No!' I said, forcing her to stand 'we have to find her! Death Eat-'

'Can't-even… come inside- the grounds!' she wheezed 'she has nothing to-worry about.'

'But the Forbidden Forest!'

'She had her mind changed in third year, remember? She was lucky that troll let her go'

'Must've been all that charm'

'Or luck'

I rested on the wall and grabbed her hand 'no we have to find her! Not all the enemies are outside Hogwarts's walls'

Marlene looked at me oddly 'you aren't talking about Snape anymore, are you? He _isn't_ a Death Eater. He's only sixteen for goodness sakes! Alice is going to be fine!'

'Not if we can't find her'

…

-Remus-

It had taken some time, but at last, there I was; wiping down the last mirror

'Oi! Are we done yet?' I heard Sirius shout from down the hall 'I'm covered in polish!'

'That was your own fault'

'Oh yeah? You were the one holding the bucket, Prongs!'

I rolled my eyes, setting the brush to scrub while I looked out the window. To my surprise, I saw a lone figure walking from the greenhouses

'Who's that?'

I jumped, causing the brush to attack Peter. While he struggled, I called off the charm

'I don't know Peter. That's why I was contemplating'

James jogged over, followed by a sticky Sirius

'Hey, it looks like one of Lily's friends! Alice something-or-another'

'Yeah, I can't remember her name'

I shook my head 'no matter. What _is_ the matter, however, is just why she's roaming the grounds well past midnight'

'Maybe her and Longbottom went for a little spin on his broom, eh?'

'Nah' James said surely 'we have Quidditch practice tomorrow. No matter how stupid he is, Frank wouldn't miss it for a girl'

'What abo-'

Then the mirror was gone

'WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME JUST HAPPENED?'

'Well, as you can see, Prongs' Sirius put in a helpfully unhelpful tone 'the mirror; has been displaced.'

I poked my head through the opening, ecstatic by my dusty and light strewn find

'Looks like we found another entrance gentlemen'

The rest smiled

'Excellent'

…

**Whatever could have Alice have been doing?**

**Just why did Sirius react that way?**

**Are the Death Eaters in hiding at Hogwarts?**

**What does Lily know that no one else does?**

**So many questions, but all will be answered soon enough :D**

**As I know many of you will be asking, who is this mysterious Emmaline?**

**Well, she was an order member, and I decided that she's Lily's kinda-just-class-friend (don't look at me like that. We all have one) and a Hufflepuff sixth year. **

**Hope you liked it! Keep reading and reviewing! **

**-Silence Nevermore**


	26. Mudbloods and Cowards

'Mudblood's, that's what they are'

I turned my head to make my approval seen, if not heard

'Nothing but Mudblood's and cowards. Not unlike you, Severus Snape'

I held my gaze and didn't retort 'Just what did the Dark Lord instruct, Bellatrix?'

The woman beside me only dug out a knife and whispered it along my cheek 'not of your concern. You are not loyal to him; why would it matter'

'We are to enter Hogsmeade, and kill as many as possible. Bellatrix herself was given this mission. You would do well to not speak back to her'

I nodded to Dolohov and whisked on my mask; mulling over my features. The others did the same, with Nott pulling his blood red fingers to his lips, embracing the scent of a dead man's blood

Bellatrix herself sauntered out into the open, slicing a merchants waiting neck with an air of superiority. She snapped out a knife and the Death Eaters began the attack

Just at that moment, a large group of Gryffindor robes walked into the square; they had situated themselves into the air of an ambush

Bellatrix pulled a cruel smile

'Come to die, Mudblood!'

It wasn't until she was drowning in blood that I realized that the person was very familiar. So familiar, that I was frozen to my mask; my superiority. My cowardice was killing my best friend

Lily Evans was about to die

…

-James-

'IT'S THE DEATH EATERS!'

I stopped dead in my tracks and followed the general gaze the masked enemies on the home front. All deranged a battle stance; all were ready to fight. All were prepared to die

'AVADA KEDAVRA!'

'Petrificus Totalus!'

'RUN!'

All around me, people were falling. School mates, friends. Even people of Hogsmeade fell to the slick cobblestones, slipping in another's blood. Teacher and student alike began forming ranks; watching each other's back like they've done so for years. At the moment, I had McGonagall and Seriella Cabot at my side. But then the fellow Gryffindor fell to her knees in shock and my Professor and I marched forward alone

I cast spells in all directions. Stunning, hexes and jinxes beyond count escaped my lips; but all it did was drain me. I wasn't helping; and Death Eaters apparated faster than we could weigh down the sheer numbers

Bellatrix Lestrange sauntered out into the bloody square, brandishing a knife with madness in her eyes. She swept her wand and a wave of Fiendfire exploded into the street; catching fire to not only the buildings, but some of the dead as well

It approached me, but I held my ground. All I could do is rack up the counter curse

Thankfully, Lily and Peter were back at Hogwarts, hopefully studying and not falling at a Death Eaters wand

But then, I caught a flick of curly red hair and my heart stopped

'RUN POTTER! I can hold off the fire! Take care of the students!'

I nodded to a filthy McGonagall and cried 'HOGWARTS PULL BACK! RUN! GET TO SAFETY!'

Lily was here. I had to reach her!

I spun around in the cobblestones and took sight of a little boy; no more than eight years old drowning in a wave of Fiendfire

Without a second thought, I threw him over my shoulder and kept running; stopping only when the running steps were far behind me

'Get out of here!' I whispered to the boy, who nodded through a silent gaze 'find shelter and don't leave until someone comes for you. Understand?'

I left without an answer, and waded through the hordes of people until I was at Sirius' and Remus' feet

'JAMES! DUCK!'

I complied without question as a ray of green fire raced over my head

'Thanks mate!'

'Don't mention I-AGHHHH!'

'SIRIUS!'

I muttered a quick concealment charm over his frozen body and madly rolling eyeballs. I didn't have time to say the counter-curse, so just hid him in Zonko's joke shop. How ironic

'Sectumsempra!'

'Stupefy!'

Thankfully, the new Death Eater's and my curses connected; leaving us safe from the horrid spell that could only…

Snape.

I sneered and looked eyes with his masked eyes. This was the person who hurt Lily, the one who called her an unforgivable name. And now he was fighting to kill

'Lily?'

I spun at his words as the spell broke; with a pale freckly girl standing alone in a field of bodies and spells. She froze at Snape's words, and didn't notice another coming towards her

'LILY!'

She didn't even have the breath to scream before Bellatrix plunged a knife into her robes

…

-Lily-

I don't remember the knife. I can't recall the blood.

But the pain: that I remember.

A sharp searing pain exploded in my hip as a voice laughed. Laughed; as I cried

I distinctly remember James; and then the laughter was gone. The knife disappeared, and I faded into the background of cold and wet arms. I tried to raise my head, but it swarmed. I didn't realize that I had fallen until the concrete splashed up to greet me in mock salute. I heard voices; warm and cold, soft and screams. But none of that mattered, as I wasn't quite sure that I was there in person. It felt like I was watching one of my nightmares in all dimensions sound and color

Then, it was gone

And a shadow approached

I hoped it wasn't death

But the image didn't speak, but rather took me in its arms and held me; magicking my wounds to stop bleeding

'Thank you'

I think I heard my voice

It didn't respond

And then it was gone with the taste of fear.

Was I alone?

Or was I gone?

None of this mattered, of course, as I couldn't remember even falling

'Lily'

Again, this time more persistent

'Lily?'

I sat up against a mass of rubble; running my hands over my scar.

Mudblood. Mudblood.

'Lily come back to me'

Another figure approached, and now, I was aware of my hands. They could move. My eyes could open. I wasn't dead after all

'James?'

He sighed and leant down to me with an unwelcome greeting on his lips

'James isn't here, Lily. It's only me. Just me, you know me Lily'

'Knife'

'No,' he assured me 'it's fine. Just rest'

I clenched my teeth until they bled 'if I fall asleep, I won't wake again. Will I?'

He brushed away my hair and repaired my minor wounds. I kept a hand on my hip; halting the sticky shame

'Lily, what's this?'

His hands were covered in blood

'Lily, what happened?'

I shook my head again and again, afraid that he didn't understand. No, I couldn't bear to remember

'Bellatrix' he whispered, lifting my robes from my body, unleashing a whole new wave of liquid fire

'NO! LILY! LILY WHERE ARE YOU?'

The boy halted at the shriek and stood

'No, don't leave me!'

He belayed my begging 'It's not my place Lily. No one can know; just like last time. No recollection; it's the only way'

'Obliviate'

And then he was gone

…

**Hah. Another cliffy. Sucks to be you, doesn't it?**

**As for the mysterious person, ten galleons to all of those who figured it out. I didn't make it blissfully hard, nor obvious, but hopefully I didn't make it too hard to understand**

**Just so you know, I've always liked Bellatrix; she's one of my favourite characters. Not for her lack of goodness; but her character. She is so cool, with so many layers and emotions, so expect her to show more often when Death Eaters come up. She's as close to second in command as Voldemort will let her**

**Thanks for reading! Leave a review!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	27. Teardrops on the Sand

-James-

I sat, wasted at another bedside. I hoped that she'd awake, prayed that the healing would help, and begged that she would come back to me. She's been lost for hours; and when I say lost, I mean unconscious. In short, there was nothing more we could do but wait.

And it was killing me

'James,' a voice said softly 'let me'

I didn't respond instantly, but once I did, I was glad. The smiling face of Dumbledore would always help

'Professor-'

'No need to explain, James. A well thought out response isn't required from me'

I cringed slightly, but accepted the fact that he spun out a chair; taking a seat at Lily's bedside

We settled into the comfortable silence of a minefield; stopping only for our eyes to dart around for the unintended purpose of nervousness

'I've never fancied hospitals' he said reproachfully; shifting to face the leaky rain spout 'they've been more of a place of disappointment and loneliness than anything else for wizards like me'

I nodded and picked up a loose strand of Lily's hair; twirling it in my bloody hands

'That and the fact that I've spent far more time in here during my own Hogwarts years. Never a blessed place, talking to a voice that can't bear to hear you'

I slighted away from this statement. Of course he knew I talked to her comatose; he must've been watching for hours. However, this didn't seem to embarrass me- as I had more pressing matters on my mind

'Have you ever seen a Death Eater before, James?'

I shrugged, moving my thumb across Lily's non-existent Mudblood scar. Thankfully, Dumbledore didn't appear to notice

'Yes'

One word answers, followed by a two word one

'What happened?'

'Mudbloods and cowards'

Dumbledore nodded, as if he was accustomed to loosing

He answered with unaired words

Take care of her James

I nodded

He left his smile behind. It latched itself to Lily's face

She grinned as ghastly as a broken word

The thunder exploded and bled on her Mudblood scar

…

-Dorea-

'We should take them home Charlus. All of them'

My husband wrung his hands through his hair

'Death Eaters, on a Hogsmeade weekend! Hogwarts isn't safe anymore, and you too daft to see it!'

He looked up with an air of dwelling

The fire crackled in response

'What do you want me to say, Dorea? Yes? That bringing them here will help? Dumbledore is there. Hogwarts is loads safer than here'

'But the Deat-'

'Will not come again: Voldemort wasn't careful enough. Lost a good number of Death Eaters on the go; he won't try that again if he can help it'

'Help it?'

'He was trying to kill the Muggle-borns, Dora. You know that. If I'm taking anyone in, it's Lily. That poor girl-'

'We should inform her parents' I said firmly 'Statue of Secrecy or no! They're in danger!'

A distant roll of thunder interrupted our rising voices, causing even the cozy fire to fluctuate

'The least we could do is check up on them' I continued, clinging to my housecoat 'make sure that precautions are in place'

'I'm assured as is, Dorea. Hogwarts could never be threatened; Dumbledore is simply always a step ahead'

I pulled out my wand, igniting its tip 'I have to be there. James could be injured!'

'I'll send a Patronus' he sighed, taking my hand 'but it's done. The Death Eaters won't come. Not again'

Charlus whispered a brief message, and before the gracious hawk leapt out into the rain, I added a final message:

Be safe James

And then it was gone

…

-James-

I gripped her hand with an unnecessary compulsion. I was only imagining it. Lily's hand wasn't cooling; her face wasn't paling, no it couldn't

Lily had to pull through

'Madame Pompfrey!' Sirius shouted, seeing my face 'hurry!'

The old healer apparated to her bedside, letting over the necessary precautions with a wave of her wand. Her head shook as she rummaged through her medicine cupboard

I let a tear fall. Then another. I didn't even bother shame as there was no purpose- nothing could be worse than this. This hopelessness was going to kill me

'I'm going to need all to leave.' Pompfrey said hurriedly, swirling a black and white potion in a flask 'Lily needs a powerful spell I don't want expended to any but her'

I nodded numbly and allowed myself to be led away by an unseen body.

The room shook

…

-Sirius-

'She's going to be fine, James' I said, patting my best friend on the back. He didn't respond. Then again, he didn't respond too much since the attack

We were sitting against the wall of the hospital wing, the marauders and I, waiting for the inevitable word of remorse

A few minutes past, which consisted of James and Remus getting up and pacing. Remus' girlfriend, Sunny Tarafield, was also injured, but not as critical as Lily. I slumped across the wall, exhausted from not only the attack, but the sheer effort of keeping Remus and James' situation off their minds. Peter hadn't shown since we returned, but I didn't think much of it. He wasn't one to comfort, and today was no exception. No one wanted to see two powerful wizards this unhinged

'James'

He spun, suddenly aware by the silvery hawk. It was his dad's Patronus; and by the looks of things, his day wasn't looking up

'We want you, the Marauders and Lily to come home this instant. Your mother and I are very concerned, and have decided to keep you home until after Christmas'

I scoffed 'that's in a month!'

'We've already contacted Remus, Peters and Lily's families. Everything is planned. You will floo from Dumbledore's office as soon as you can. Send word'

I watched James and Remus' expressions change from disbelief to acknowledgment, actually accepting the fact that Death Eaters were out there; and now, they were prepared to kill

The hospital door opened

Madame Pompfrey came out, her red robes swishing in the silent corridor

She told us to follow

…

-Charlus-

'Do you think they've got the response yet?'

I sighed as she paced, her eyes growing larger with every sound that passed

'They should have answered by now! Maybe they're hurt!'

I took hold of my wife's shoulders, halting her next move

'Love, James is fine. If he wasn't, we would've heard by now. Everything's okay! Maybe they were busy!'

'BUSY! TO BUSY TO ANSWER! THIS IS RUBBISH!'

'DOREA!'I shouted 'everything's okay!'

'What about the others,' she said, resuming her pace 'Sirius? Peter? Remus and Lily? We haven't heard a THING Charlus! This is insanity!'

'We'll just have to-'

A stag pranced into the room

It brought good news, and bad

'All will come in a days' time. Lily is weak, and will need to stay in the hospital wing until she's stable enough to floo. I'll stay with her, and we'll come later that day.'

Then, my son's Patronus **vanished**, its silvery smoke dispersing in the wind

'Lily's hurt' I managed 'the Death Eaters found her again'

…

**Yes, so (ahem) **

**to answer the ensuing question of just what happened last chapter, here it is**

**Lily almost died, Sirius got knocked out by a wavering spell (full body bind), Peter was conveniently not at hand (not that the Death Eaters would bother with a member anyway) and Dumbledore is in the process of stronger enchantments**

**Lily was semi-unconscious during most of last chapter, which is why it may have been confusing**

**As for Snape, he is a 'new member' (well kind of) and although James saw him, he passed it by as a trick of the spell he just cast and Dumbledore didn't accept it when he was told. That's where Snape was after the Whomping Willow incident, when he was 'conveniently out of the castle with Mulciber.' Dumbledore thought he was visiting his mother, who was dying at the time.**

**Snape was also Lily's little death wish, and he repaired the most of her minor wounds before James got there. (Snape just used the Death Eater teleportation thingy) All of the Marauders are okay with only minor wounds, but Lily is much, much worse**

**Thanks for reading! Hope you understood!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	28. Words of a Love Song

-Charlus-

'Is there- is there anything we can do?'

I stared at Lily, her frail body wrapped in white cloth. Her eyes were shut, but I could tell that she was dreaming; James used to do the exact same thing

She shook her head 'nothing but wait. Miss Evans has severe injuries. I've repaired the bulk of them, but head wounds… I've done what I can'

I sighed at the Marauders' expressions. Nobody, especially them, deserved a punishment like this. Lily didn't do anything; and I was ready to kill Voldemort himself on shrill alone

'Charlus' Dorea whispered 'settle yourself. You can't do anything, let Poppy do what she does best'

I wrestled my fingers into fists 'when can she come home?'

Poppy nodded towards the bed 'do you expect now? She won't be moved until she wakes, not while I'm alive and kicking. Lily Evans needs time to rest, and my word is final'

James slapped his hand on the bedside table and stormed from the room. With a glance from me, Sirius and Remus followed; calling after their best friend

'Poppy' I said once the boys were out of sight 'what's really wrong with her?'

The healer sighed 'She has blood clotting in her brain. It's causing pressure, which is taking all of her subconscious to fight off. She also has a deep slice in her side. I've healed the injury itself, but the nerves and tissue will take longer than what I previously expected. All we can do is pray for a miracle'

I glanced around the airy room, its peaked windows and ceiling alone made the impression of freedom: somewhere far away from reality. The few people that were occupying the space were either asleep, or being visited by healers. The wounds were deep, and this time, we weren't sure if our hero was going to make it through

Lily. Lily Evans. She was as good as a daughter and law no matter how long she and James have been together. She was James' perfect match; not that I'm a master at these things, and this was killing him. This helplessness was worse than death, and everyone was feeling the effects of it. Just as we were walking in, I caught a Professor crying over an inadequate body; someone who was beyond healing. She held his hand as he shivered into nothingness. It took everything in me to keep going.

Walking, how was I walking? I couldn't feel, let alone move. But somehow I did, gripping Lily's gift in my worn fingers; managing. That's the only word for it. These people, how was Poppy managing? Death Eaters in Hogsmeade; who would've ever thought somewhere so safe could be mutilated in such a way? Moving took no effort, only will; something that these people had nothing in excess of.

James- oh James. My son was heartbroken. His best friend was lying comatose in a blank sheet, begging only to reawake. If she awoke at all

…

'Mrs. Potter, I'm afraid we have some bad news.'

I sighed, but allowed the wispy woman to enter the wing; letting her sit beside Lily's bed, letting her tell her sad story

She cleared her throat 'I don't know how to say this, but last night, Mrs. Evans was killed'

Hot, bitter tears refused to flow. This couldn't be true. No, I wouldn't allow it

'She's been sick, you see. For a long time now, and last night, she died in her sleep. It was painless, I assure you, and-and her sister Petunia and her father want to see Lily.'

'But she's, not-'

'She's a Muggle, yes' the woman said, clearing her throat yet again 'and her father is aware of this. But they need her'

I stood suddenly and abruptly 'No. I simply won't allow it. I am now Lily's mother and I will not allow it. Muggle or no, Lily doesn't need this right now. Thank you, but she can know once she settles, not to mention awakes. Her mother-her mother wouldn't want this for her'

The woman shrank in her robes, frightened by me. I stepped down immediately

'That's not what I meant' I sighed 'talk to the headmaster. He can decide what to do with this situation'

She stood and walked out of the room, only pausing to slip out of the heavy doors

I took Lily's hand in my own

'Hey Lily,' I whispered, taking in her rising chest 'you may not have a blood mother now, but I'll be your mum again. If you'd like. You can live with whoever you'd like darling; wherever you feel safest. We care about you, and we want you to live. Please wake up Lily. It's killing James; and I haven't seen him this heartbroken before. It's horrid to watch, and I know you wouldn't do it if you could help it. I was so proud of James when he saved you. Do you know you could've died without him? He really loves you, Lily. We all love you'

I could've sworn I saw a teardrop line her jawline, slipping onto the hand

Lily amazed us again

'Lily' I begged, holding her other hand as well; taking to standing 'Lily I'm here. I'm here love. Poppy? Poppy?'

The healer ran over to us, nearly taking out her potions cupboard, and stood beside me

'Dorea? Mrs. Potter what happened?'

My hand shook over her tear-line, hesitating to wipe the mar away

'It was- she, she recognized me. My voice. Something I said did this to her'

Madame Pompfrey did a full-body sweep with her wand. Her brow creased with tension, and her pale blue eyes shone with tears

'Nothing-nothing's changed Dorea. She couldn't have- _can't_ have'

Lily gasped

The world spun to greet her

She spoke three words that I wish I hadn't spoke

My mother's dead

This is all my fault

I steadied my grasp and accepted the frail shaking of her voice

'What happened to me?'

What happened to me?

…

**AHA! So Lily's awake!**

**And well! Well, as well as you could expect from something that horrific**

**Lily scar has been something of a controversial topic to write. I know it could be repaired by magic, and was, right after the battle, but imagine this in the hypothetical sense that some scars just don't go away. It may be gone, but Lily can still see it, and it hurts somehow like Harry's does; when she didn't need a reminder. It will come up again, so keep this tidbit in mind**

**I know this one's short, but Lily and Dorea needed their moment. James and the Marauders will show up next chapter**

**And good gumdrops, a zillion thanks to IWishIWasAWeasley for reviewing no less than ten times in the period of a day. That was freakin brilliant, not to mention flattering :D**

**Thanks for reading! I hope to read another review tonight!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	29. Bound in Lies

**My thanks to all those who reviewed, favourited, or alerted Tears to Roses! It's amazing me how big this story's gotten: 7587 views and it's only been a month! You guys are amazing!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-Silence Nevermore**

-Lily-

'Just another step, Lils. Just one more'

I hobbled along, greatly relying on my boyfriend's arm to get me anywhere. Unfortunately, Madame Pompfrey has banned me from all forms of magic, including the hovering charm; forcing me to get my strength up the hard way

'Alright so far?'

I nodded as he flipped open the door, walking into his house with a sense of foreboding. I didn't take notice of anything but my shuffling feet until I landed on a couch. James helped me sit up straight, and then sat next to me. The remaining Marauders (minus Peter) and the Potters sat on the chairs opposite

James' mother fiddled with a sheet of paper

'Lily' she said 'your father gave this to us, he wishes to see you'

James reached over and grabbed the crisp letter; opening it and placing it in my shaking hands. It held nothing more significant than a bitter reminder

'How did she die?'

The Potters shifted, not knowing how to answer without breaking my heart

'What happened, Mrs. Potter?'

She sighed 'she died in her sleep, Lily. She was very sick'

I glared at the mantle, cursing myself for not being there. How could I be so selfish? Ignoring my mum even though she was sick? I knew what happened, of course. A silly word that took her heart away from me

'How long was I asleep for?'

'Almost two days Lils' Sirius answered, sipping the tea a house elf gave him 'thanks Wispy. But you weren't asleep; you were knocked out. I would know, I helped bring you back'

'Back?'

James hesitated 'you really don't remember?'

'Remember what? All I can recall is the pain when I woke up'

'We were, we were on a Hogsmeade weekend' Remus explained timidly 'we were about to enter Zonko's when _they_ came'

'Death Eaters'

Mr. Potter nodded 'yes, and the fight was a bloody one'

'Is everyone else okay?'

'No. Some people got transferred to St. Mungo's. Madame Pompfrey just couldn't get to everyone'

I reached out to grab the tea, but my hand shook too much to reach the cup, let alone take it. I shook them, begging for them to reply, but nothing but silence answered

'Let me get the potion ready, Lily. It's simply a motor control issue. Thanks to James, I'm quite familiar with it. I'll only be a minute'

'Are you tired?' James asked me, settling my hands back onto my lap 'I could show you to your room, if you'd like'

I nodded, running my hand rhythmically on my newest wound, which bled in response

'Lily!' Mr. Potter exclaimed, getting up to look at the growing starburst of red 'don't do that! We just got the wound to heal!'

I dropped my fingers, letting them dangle at my side

'Lily, come with me'

I followed James numbly, arriving in a spacious room. I sat on the quilt and stared at the floor

'Lily you can't keep doing this!' James said, closing the door behind him 'we're worried about you as it is! Please don't give everyone more reason to!'

I took my face in my hands and let a tear pass through. Then another. They collided, bumping into another, apologizing, and making a new path. I didn't take notice until I was sobbing hysterically into his arms

'No, Lily no' he cried, pulling me into a tight hug 'oh no, love don't cry. I-I love you too much for you to be hurting like this!'

James held me tight enough to restrict anything but breath to escape through my body; halting the dam of tears. I was relieved, yet somewhat cautious to be quite this close. We were only sixteen

'What happened to me, James?'

He didn't answer

'James, what's wrong with me?'

He took my face in his hands and kissed me without answering. I was infuriated. Is that how he truly felt?

'James!' I said, breaking apart 'you didn't answer me'

He took my hand 'yes I did'

'No, you couldn't have'

'Nothing's wrong with you. You got hurt. That's all there is to it. Mum will take care of you, and when you get stronger, we can have your dad and Petunia visit'

'I don't want her to come'

Translation: I didn't need another reminder

'She's your sister, Lily. She lost a mum too'

I didn't respond, fixating my eyes on a birds nest, hanging freely on a tall maple's branch. How dare they have someone who cared. A mother, how dare they?

'Lily?' he asked as I rose 'what're you doing?'

'Getting rid of reminders'

He pulled me back to sitting, and with a backwards glance, he pulled out a wand and levitated me to beneath the sheets

'Go to sleep, I'll see you tonight'

I fumbled for his hands 'no, don't go. Don't leave me again'

'Would you like some tea? A story? I'm sure I could find the old thing here somewhere, just give me a second-'

James disappeared into the cupboard and placed a gentle book on my lap

I held it carefully 'what is it?'

'It's a Curiosus' he explained, opening it to reveal a picture book 'it contains your best memories in your life that wizards can read like a book. Take a look at it. I'll let you be'

He shut the door silently and crept out of sight

I sighed and flipped open the worn leather. The contents surprised me; I saw Petunia and I, smiling and waving in the summers buttery light. My father's laugh echoed from somewhere behind me, and my mother chuckled in response. But my sister and I didn't notice, we were far too busy scaling a bushy tree. I flipped the page, which showed finger-painted artwork, stickers, that willow in our Cokeworth backyard, and Snape and I laughing. Somehow, this book was calming, despite the hard realizations of innocence that it contained. It was just- me. Being a child in the world without magic. A happy little girl who didn't have the threat of a war dangling over her head. It was bittersweet, and a little hard to swallow.

I wondered what life would be without magic. Surely I wouldn't have known anyone I've grown to love, but maybe, just maybe, if that was life, my mother might have still been alive

No, Dumbledore had told me enough times; there was no turning back. This was life, and in it, my mother was dead

And that was the way I had made it be

Dead

All my fault

…

**Yes, another shorty, but all I wanted to accomplish happened, so that's that.**

**Please review! I want at least six before I update!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	30. Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

-Lily-

When I woke up, the sky was crying on my windowsill

Rain was beating at the pane; a storm was slamming on my door.

Questioning, wanting answers. Preferably now, appose to later

I sat, frozen in fear

Then the rain was gone, and it was replaced by a cloud of skulls, a snake slipping from its gaping mouth. It slithered through the sky, falling into the paisley curtains. It shook its head and came to the threshold.

It asked the same question as the rain; sliding dreamily between its teeth

I gave it the same answer

Just as the skull receded, the snake transformed into something even more hideous than its previous state: as grisly as a crown of thorns, as unpredictable as a cowards tongue.

He smiled at me

I didn't take to hiding my face, masking my scar. I held it out in vain, proclaiming its shame to this man. He, being who he was, didn't bother moving. In fact, he slithered his forked tongue and glared through red slits. If he was truly a man, he would know how unwelcome his very presence was.

The snake fitted a wand in his mouth

He aimed it to kill

I fell to the ceiling, somehow detached from my being. I was forced to watch my own destruction

I saw myself get mutilated.

My face grew bloody gashes; my body slick with blood. He snapped, and my body was ripped in two; torn off its hinges.

I heard my voice scream

And then, just as it was before, all was gone

I was sitting beside a lapping lake. But the person who had my hands weren't mine

They were pale and clammy, my fingers long and mangled

The reflection in the lake wasn't mine

It was a snake, and his slick smile skipped on the water

Voldemort was coming for me

…

When I finally woke, nothing was as it should

A leather book was lying unhindered on the floor, somehow forgotten in the nightmare. I was wearing a plaid nightgown. My feet were bare.

When I stepped out of bed, my feet found their way to the door. My hand reached out and groped for the doorknob, turning it gently. The door slid open and I was mocked by the light

It shouldn't be light. Everything I knew was gone.

I found a note waiting for me on the table

The Potter's wouldn't be back till noon

Brilliant, I was alone once more

My feet found their way to the loo, and my body fixated itself in front of the lavish looking glass

'Well?' I asked 'okay with being alone?'

My body shifted. The mirror didn't respond

'You are less than beyond help' my smile answered

I turned back. My voice wavered

'I know you, Lily Evans'

My eyes turned to saucers. I turned to face the glass, and to my surprise, the mirror-Lily chuckled

'You seek affection, love?' the mirror-me mocked 'am I correct?'

I shook my head again and again. Perhaps it didn't see, maybe it didn't know

'I am part of you, Lily. We are, as they say, one in the same'

'Don't use my mother's words on me' I spat 'They don't affect me anymore'

The Lily in the mirror cackled, her wand pointed at me. Then the glass was gone: and that wand was at my throat

'Welcome, Lily Evans' Voldemort whispered 'come to die'

…

-James-

'So,' I began, shifting the heavy parcel to my left arm 'what else do you need?'

Sirius looked at the wall

'Let's see, I have dishes, a bed, linens, that bloke Lockheart's new household spells book, food and a new broom. I don't need anything else, do I?'

Moony laughed 'it's only a flat Padfoot, not a lifestyle. I think that should do it. My legs are aching, anyways'

'I hope Lily woke up, she's been asleep for at least a day'

Sirius slapped a hand on my shoulder 'I'm sure she's fine. It's the nightmares that I'm worried about'

'What nightmares?' I said quickly 'she didn't say anything about nightmares to me'

Remus sighed 'that's probably why. She didn't want you to worry'

I pushed away the thought 'if she's scared, I should know! It's my job the look after her! Why didn't you tell me before? You must've known for days!'

Sirius walked past the apothecary and Quality Quidditch Supplies before he answered

'You're just dating, Prongs. It's not like you're married to her. We're her friends too, and we all decided that you would do good to have less worry in your life. Especially now.'

'What do you mean, _especially now'_

Remus scoffed 'it's in the right middle of the war you tosspot! And of all people, You-Know-Who will want to recruit the lot of us; all who are powerful enough to make a viable difference. Lily needs you to stay on your toes, and worrying about her was the last thing she wanted to come from this!'

'But her Mum-'

'She's as well over it.' He assured me 'Well, at least as far as I know. Petunia kind of knocked any family sympathy right out of her last week.'

'She told me that it went okay' I said through gritted teeth 'she told me everything's fine'

Sirius walked into Eeylops Owl Emporium, ducking as a toad leaped over his head. He seemed determined, so I temporarily let the conversation drop

'The only thing I need…' Sirius mumbled, searching the empty shop

Remus and I followed hesitantly, all but out of place in the run down shop. The lights were dim, but the screech and hoots of the showed that at least something lived here

Just as I was about to ask just why we were here, an eagle Patronus shone through the window

'James come quickly. Lily's in trouble'

I didn't hesitate to spin on spot: apperating instantly

…

-Lily-

The image in the mirror swivelled back and forth between Voldemort and I, but neither was better than the other: both were horrifying in their own ways

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named mocked me, spewing words that bled. The mirror-me told me I was a failure; and that everything I was fighting for had gone to pot.

I had failed

'I could make you great' he promised 'bring back your mother. Isn't that what you want most?'

'You are an insult to me' the shadow of my mother whispered, her tight gray eyes strained with greed 'you are a disgrace'

Voldemort showed once again, dismissing my mother in a flurry of sparks. Then three people were crowded in the glass: all begging to keep my attention

'Join me, Lily Evans' he whispered, holding out his hand through the mirror 'fight on the side destined to win. You are doomed to fail without me'

I looked at the skeletal fingers, the ghastly tone; the red eyes. Maybe he was right; we were doomed to fail

'That's right Lily' he begged 'just take my hand'

I glanced at my fingers, imagining my life as he promised. All I had to do was take his hand, and all my dreams would come true

I reached out my hand, just millimeters from the reflection- just a second from what I've always wanted-

There were many sudden cracks

'GET AWAY FROM THERE!' a new voice boomed, pulling me away and blasting the mirror to shreds

The room shook from voices

I shook and sobbed in the corner of the room, watching bright green flashes overtake blue and red ones. People in the mirror disappeared in a flash of smoke

I didn't dare look up

'What happened?'

'Dumbledore? When did _you_ get here?'

'What happened to Lily?'

I kept my head down in shame, refusing even the most precious touch

'Lily' he begged 'look at me'

'I-I didn't-'

'Everything's fine now, Lily' James said, sitting beside me 'everything's going to be okay'

'What-'

'That,' the headmaster said, waving his wand to better facilitate the whole of wizards 'is an infected mirror. Most likely planted, but facts have yet to be set in place. Miss Evans is lucky to be here

'Minerva, will you kindly escort Lily to her bedroom? You know what to do'

McGonagall, whom I had not known was present, cautiously levitated me to standing; placing her hand on my shoulder

'James' Dumbledore said 'may I speak with you?'

He nodded, following the headmaster to the sitting room

I stood next to my Transfiguration professor, wavering even under her caring words

What had I done?'

…

**That was a very long chapter**

**I hope you liked it, and do note that when people are confused, or unconscious, it's going to be confusing to read. I won't guarantee that'll be great, but I do try my best**

**And to answer Ariana Lovegood's excellent questions as to when their going back to Hogwarts, I imagine in a few days, so next chapter. The Order was just formed and Hogwarts has been under a hiatus since the attack in Hogsmeade, so school wasn't really going anyways. But it will be by next chapter; just send a review as to what you want to see!**

**Almost at eighty reviews! You guys are amazing!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	31. I and I Alone

-Third persons-

There was something stilling in listening to another breathe.

In Lily Evans case, it proved that she was truly still alive. And James took this gentle fact very dear to heart; considering he still blamed the whole attack on himself

And who could blame him? His girlfriend was immobile because he wasn't there to help

But he was now, and this time; he wasn't planning on leaving

…

-James-

'Do you see what I brought you today?'

Lily didn't respond, left behind after everyone else awoke

But I pushed forward

'It's a book, Lily. It's Hogwarts: A History. You told me that it was your favourite one, once'

I placed the textbook on the bedside table

'I really miss you, Lils' I said, taking her hand 'I miss everything about you. Do you know that Sirius is dating now? You always said that he'd find someone'

I sat down on her bed, losing my hands in her curls

'And your sister, Petunia visited you today. Did you know? I was there for some of it, but Mum told me to sod off just as things were getting interesting. I'm sorry about that; I didn't want to leave you alone with her again. But she's your sister, and she lost a mum too'

Lily rolled over, and I could make out a small smile on her lips

'Your smile is so beautiful; I wish I could tell you that. I love it, especially when it's because of me'

I turned to face the window, explaining the weather to her

'The sun is hiding, Lily. Its fingers are just reaching out, but then they snap back again. The wind is gone, but it's perfect Quidditch conditions; no rain, no sun to blot out our sight.

'The clouds are swinging, Lils. They rock back and forth, just like the Muggle swing set you told me about. The mountains are just visible from here, but the sun blocks them. Why would you notice a lousy mountain when the sun is shining?'

I laughed

'You would laugh at me if you heard this. You'd say it was rubbish. But then you'd laugh too, and I'd know everything is alright again'

'Your dad came to visit too' I said again, sitting at her side 'he told me to take care of you. And I am! You'd be so proud'

I spotted a nearing empty bag of owl treats

'Secrecy's been missing you. I left her in the cage with Evona, but it's not the same, I imagine. I would hate being cooped up in a cage all day long'

Lily stirred once more, almost as if her nose was a marionette string

'Hey, Lils, no need to get antsy. I could get someone else to talk to you, if you'd like. I imagine my voice gets as annoying as Peter's after a while. Just give me a second, Remus is around here somewhere'

I prodded my robes for my wand, my words tripping over the Patronus charm. But I made it, and before long, a silvery stag leapt from the floor into the next room

Lily reached out her hand

I took it carefully, massaging her pale fingers in mine

'I love you, Lily Evans' I whispered 'and were going to be together forever, darling; just you wait. All you have to do is wake up'

Maybe I imagined her hand moving; perhaps it was like that all along. Sitting as proudly as a broken promise

'I love you too James'

…

'You must be the one to lead the next attack, Severus. Show your true colors as a bloody coward'

I kept my calm regime, consisting of a look so at peace it was almost detached

'LISTEN WHEN A SUPERIOR SPEAKS TO YOU!' Bellatrix screamed, slamming her knife just millimetres from my exposed flesh 'ESPECIALLY YOU SEVERUS SNAPE! YOU HAVE YET TO BECOME EVEN THE LEAST IN THE DARK LORDS ARMY!'

'I am as much of a Death Eater as you are, Bellatrix'

'YOU ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO ME, HALF-BLOOD!'

'Bella' Voldemort whispered, his skeletal fingers fingering his snakes back 'he was welcomed as a servant to me. Let him prove his worth at my hands'

'Of course, my Lord'

I noticed a silver locket for the first time. Its green gems formed the likeness of a snake. It was quickly summoned by Voldemort; who tucked it in his robes

'I have further business to discuss' he murmured, his snake now encased in a clear ball above the table

'The Mudbloods, my Lord?'

He cast the closest thing to a grin in Bellatrix Lestrange's direction

'Of the sorts, yes'

He looked in my direction from the head of the table

'And Severus Snape will be the one to rid Hogwarts of them'

…

-Albus-

'What are we to do about Hogwarts, Albus?'

I didn't let my sigh show, my back to my office and the teachers assembled there

'Only the best' I said quietly, collapsing in the desk chair 'the students must be protected'

'And the ones away?' Minerva questioned her pointed witch's hat as tight as her mouth line 'the parents will not want them to return!'

'I assure you,' Filius squeaked, standing in the doorway 'that all the best are already in place Dumbledore! There is only so much protection the castle can have!'

I fiddled with the Deluminator, its silver casing reflecting the fires rays

'We could warn the parents,' said Horace Slughorn 'perhaps just cancel schooling for a year?'

'No, most definitely not. Hogwarts's school is the safest place for the children with Voldemort (many cringed at this) still on the attack. No, it's best to keep them close. I expect each and every one of you to protect the students from anything and everything Voldemort (Minerva shook so badly, she overthrew a picture frame on the mantle) may still have in his possession'

'Do you mean your theory, Albus?' Madame Pompfrey whispered, her long sleeves masking her mouth 'you still believe that rumor?'

'Horcruxes, yes. But I have no facts to prove it otherwise, so we must take precautions-'

'As in, what, Dumbledore?' Rosmerta said her cheeks red from the chill or perhaps just anger 'closing down Hogsmeade? Shutting down my pub? What do you expect us to do?'

'Take precautions, Rosmerta' I said calmly, folding my fingers together 'know that Voldemort could be anywhere at any given time.'

I looked around the room calmly, taking in the odd assortment of teachers, Hogsmeade residents and graduated Order members. They all had a determined if not slightly off-balance expression

'And Alastor I will expect you and the rest of the Order to keep another eye on the elder students. See if any are prepared to join. We will need as many as we can afford to risk'

'Be that as it may, you can't expect the sixth and seventh years to simply volunteer! No, Slytherin must be kept out of this _recruitment_ for the Order of the Phoenix!'

'We aren't all dark wizards, Minerva!' Slughorn said feverishly 'Slytherin house is as good as any to join'

'Not while I'm alive'

'This is doing nothing, Dumbledore! Leave things as they must be!'

Alastor grunted

'No! We must educate the eldest, keep them close at hand. Aurors can only go so far without younger hands!'

'This meeting is adjourned' I said quietly 'there shall be another, tomorrow at Midnight. Be prepared'

All began to disperse in harsh whispers; they're robes swishing out of sight down the spiral staircase

I sat alone in the Headmasters office

Everything I knew was going to change; and for that change, it was I who was to blame

I, and I alone

…

**So, not exactly as promised, but Hogwarts did show; just not in the way I previously saw it as. I hope you liked it, and must again ask for feedback**

**I don't really care what it is, as long as it's something. A good review will surely help in the uploading date**

**Thanks again!**

**-Silence Nevermore (Merlin's pants, I can't even spell my own name…)**


	32. Darling, Everything's on Fire

**James is wonderful, Hermione is the best, and Sirius is like the most awesome Marauder, but with this comes disclaimers, as I would prefer it if Jo and I kept on good terms. So no, ding ding's, I don't own Harry Potter**

**Song of Choice: Safe and Sound- Taylor Swift**

**Oh, and by the way, this is sometime after Christmas, middle of April. I don't really get the whole concept of winter in Britain, because winter in western Canada is a good eight months, and snow is on the ground until at least then if not in May. So bear with me that this is indeed springtime**

**-Silence Nevermore**

-James-

'You must keep in mind what this could mean, James!'

I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest 'What _what_ could mean? We've been over this a thousand times. Lily's been awake for two days now, she's well enough now'

My mother sniffed and threw her arms around my neck, hugging me so tight that I could think, let alone breathe

I heard Lily and my dad laughing in the background.

Red-faced, I pulled away and grabbed Lily's hand

'Oi! Don't forget about us!'

I snickered as Remus, Sirius and Peter came tumbling down the stairwell, their trunks, pets and robes all askew

'Hertlier! Get _off_ of me you darn cat!'

Sirius shook his head as Peter snatched up his grey fur ball; named for the new Wimbourne Wasps keeper, whom the latter was obsessed with

'Sorry, Sirius!' he stammered, throwing a cloak over his arm 'he just gets away from me in this _huge _house!'

'Come on, lads! Dumbledore said we could Floo right to his office if you lot hurry up!'

'If they hurry up being the dividing factor' Lily mumbled

'No need to get nasty, Lily-flower!' Sirius said happily, perching his new owl on his shoulder 'ouch, Paddy'

Remus looked at him in outrage 'you named your owl after _yourself?_ The rest of us will have troubles deciding which Padfoot is which!'

Sirius whapped him upside the head, grabbing a fistful of Floo powder (Dumbledore's office!) and disappeared in a flash of green fire

'Come on Peter, you next' my mother encouraged, passing him the jar

Peter threw out his chest, walking proudly (yet vainly) to the exposed mantle. He stuttered his words, sounding something like Dumbedore's Oppice, and he too vanished in the flames

'Remus, Remus? Oh _there_ you are dear. Didn't spot you behind there. Have your trunk? Cloak? You _did_ take that horrid book from the bedroom, right? Yes, alright then!'

And then, Lily, my parents and I were the only ones left in the sitting room

My father shook my hand, hugging Lily carefully and too passed me the near full canister

'Lily, James- oh, careful now, Lily, that's a step there, there we are'

My mum hugged me

'Take care of her, dear. Make sure she doesn't-oh, you know what I mean'

I nodded, took Lily's hand, and with a flash, we popped out of the house; zooming a hundred miles an hour under the grates of Britain

…

The thing with flushing out of a dirty grate is that, well, it isn't exactly all that appealing; and by the time you realize that it's a bad idea, it's already too late

So after a few moments of the dreadful uptight position, James I were tossed onto Dumbledore's clean white floor; completely covered in soot

The others, who looked far better than us, were sitting together on a large sofa, listening carefully to Dumbledore's speech

'Ah, there you two are!' Dumbledore smiled 'we were beginning to worry!'

James helped me up, taking special care with my whole being. He was handling me like glass even though I felt like a ragdoll

'We have- very important business to discuss, I'm afraid'

'It's the war, isn't it?'

Sirius and Remus looked down. Dumbledore's eyes even strayed from my question

James cleared his throat, taking a seat on the adjacent sofa. I continued standing, no matter how dizzy I was

'Dumbledore has a… proposition for us' Remus said carefully 'for all of us'

'What is it, Professor?'

Dumbledore sighed heavily, raising his blue eyes to us. In shock, I realized the pure sadness in his eyes

'We have to take precautions,' he said 'and I'm afraid that you all are in great danger. Voldemort is after us'

'Us?'

'Hogwarts; Muggle-borns and blood-traitors. So, in any case, that qualifies for everyone in this room'

'What are you trying to say, Professor?' I said quickly

'That I have formed a… association of sorts. The Order of the Phoenix. And after you graduate, I would like you to join'

The wind screamed in the rafters

'The-the-'

'Order of the Phoenix, yes. I suppose you don't have to join, but wizards (and witches) like yourself don't come along very often, and your effort could be useful to his defeat'

I swayed in my spot, forcing myself to focus. Stay awake, I just had to stay awake

'Lily, you're not looking well' James said, standing up and taking my shoulders; keeping me from falling 'perhaps we could get you into bed?'

'No!' I said quickly 'let Dumbledore finish. It's rude to interrupt'

Dumbledore cast a smile around the room 'your persistence is admirable, Miss Evans, but I'm afraid James is right. You look far too faint for such hard words. Go rest, we can continue this conversation at a later date'

'Come on Lily' Sirius said, taking my bag

'I'll-I'll… carry the bags!' Peter said excitedly, fumbling with his wand

'Oh, let me, Peter. Wouldn't want another malfunction'

Peter blushed furiously at Dumbledore's words, and stood still as the headmaster shrunk and levitated three owl cages, four trunks and one very obnoxious cat into his waiting hands

'Thanks' he muttered

'Oh, not at all, dear boy!'

As we began shuffling out of the office, Remus lost his grip on me

'Moony, you alright?' Sirius asked him, upping his hold on my arm

Remus shook his head, turning very pale

'You didn't-'

The lightning crashed as our best friend let out a blood-curdling scream

…

The night began with us weeping, and ended with us running

'Remus, just-just _hold on_ okay? We'll get you to the tree in time. All you have to do is settle down!'

'SETTLE DOWN? I'M ABOUT TO BECOME A BLOODY WEREWOLF JAMES! THIS IS NOTHING TO BE CALM ABOUT!'

We all ran harder, and before long, my own blood intermingled with the crashing rain and thunder

'James-'I whispered, falling to the ground 'James, I can't-'

Sirius caught sight of my fall, all of my blood; handing a unconscious Remus to Peter

'Take care of her mate! We've got it!'

'NO!'

'THERE ISN'T TIME! WE CAN'T ARGUE ANY LONGER!'

Lightning crashed and waves beat on the sand

'The Whomping Willow, James!' Peter shouted, balancing his best friend under his arm 'Remus can't hold out for much longer!'

'James, take care of Lily! There isn't time!' Sirus shouted, his hair hanging in sheets around his face

'No! We'll just-'

'COME ON! WE HAVE TO GO _NOW!_'

Just then, the cracking full moon burst through the hanging wisps, showering us all in weak white light

'The Willow! NOW!'

We sprinted to the tree, tripping over collections of water. I think I lost consciousness twice. Remus and Sirius barely made it through the entrance before the transformation began

Peter ran into the small entrance, squeezing between the two rocks

'MEN IN HOODS, James! Come with me! Hurry!'

James kissed me quickly, picking me up and setting me on a ledge far out of danger

'Stay there! Don't move lily!'

James crawled out first, followed by silence

'It's the Death Eaters!' a shrill voice screamed from the castle

'RUN!'

Then everything went fuzzy, my mind blocked from screaming and blood

Then James was at my side again.

I resisted against his arms, a feeble attempt of ferocity

James held me back 'don't you dare look out the window, darling. Everything's on fire'

…

**I love that line. I just bought Safe and Sound, that new Taylor Swift song; you know, for the Hunger Games, and I wanted it to be included**

**My thanks to all these lovely reviews; I am completely flabbergasted as to how well my story is being received. You guys are amazing, and I'm so glad you took the time to read my work**

**Keep at it, and don't you dare give up**

**-Silence Nevermore**

**P.S: only two weeks until Hunger Games is released!**


	33. Fiendfyre

**My word, Tears to Roses has almost ten thousand hits! You guys are outrageous!**

**I am completely bamboozled by all this response!**

**-Silence Nevermore**

'How did they get through the boundaries?' I shouted over the rain and screams

'They didn't!' Sirius yelled 'They barely made it to the gate!'

I ran faster, beating both Sirus and James to the Forbidden Forest; hiding behind a huge tree

'What do you expect us to do?' James whispered 'we can't go after them! We'll just get killed!'

'No,' I said, reaching to grab my locket 'not if we have a plan'

'Whatever this brilliant plan may be, we still have to contact the teachers! McGonagall and Dumbledore would know what to do! We can't do this without help!'

I fiddled with the device in my hand, carefully following the instructions Dumbledore had said for me to do

'What's that, Lils?' James asked, sneaking towards me for a better look. When he saw it, he covered his face in horror

'You- how… What?'

'You know what it is, so help me with it. I can't do it without help'

It was true, the potion I had received earlier to stop shaking and bleeding was wearing off. I could barely turn the device, let alone hold it steady

'Here- I have some more of that here _somewhere_… just hold on, Lils'

James rummaged through his school bag (now returned to its original size) and produced a vile of black and white swirling potion

I grimaced 'thanks, James'

'Just drink it, we don't need another injury'

I did, and Merlin's pants, it tasted awful

I cringed but resumed to turning the dial

'Here, put this around your neck, we all need to be connected'

Sirius resisted 'What is this thing? We can't-'

But James flung the gold clasp around his neck and we spun into oblivion

…

'Time turner, eh? Ingenious, but how did you come to have one?'

'Never you mind' I said quickly 'hurry, we need to find Dumbledore! But we _can't_ be seen.'

I sprinted up to the front gate; switching open the familiar doors and burst into the castle with James and Sirus at my heels. At the second I noticed people, I hid behind an angry coat of armour; who sneered and brandished his sword in my direction

'We need the cloak' Sirius said, turning to James 'do you still have it?'

'Course' he said, pulling the shimmering fabric into his hands 'but I don't know if all of us will fit. We're too tall!'

'I'm not, and there are only three of us this time. It doesn't matter if ankles show, we just need to hurry! We only have an hour!'

So, after covering us all as best as possible, we snuck up the marble staircase, ran through a few dark corridors, and arrived at the griffin guarding Dumbledore's spiral staircase.

'Merlin!' I exclaimed 'we don't know the password! How are we supposed to get in?'

Something rumbled behind us, causing us to trip and fall into an open broom cupboard. Through the crack, I saw three Professors' enter walk past us.

'-Filius, for the last time, Albus summoned us for the Order of the Phoenix! You need to decide where your loyalties lie!'

'Minerva-'

'I won't hear it! Alastor? Aberforth? Come along now, the meeting won't wait'

I saw my Transfiguration teacher, a small man that I presumed to be Flitwick, Alastor Moody, the Auror, and an old man I didn't have a name for rush past. McGonagall was going so fast my hair spun to smack James and Sirius across the face

'Oi, watch it, will you?' Sirius whispered, carefully fluffing his hair back into place 'I almost lost an eye'

'Oh, shush. It's not my fault. Come on, we need to sneak in right after them. But be quiet, they can't know

It took a minute or two to remember that we were invisible, as all of us ducked at any noise. But once the initial shock was gone, we snuck across the soundless corridor, rising with the others on the spiral staircase

'How long do we have?'

I checked my Muggle watch 'something like 38 minutes? Not long, if we want those Death Eaters gone before they can come'

'Gone before they can come? That is beyond non-confusing. I am officially bamboozled'

James whapped Sirius over the head 'shut it, will you?'

Sirius rubbed his neck sadly, arriving at the double doors last.

'Shall I open it?' James said, his hand hovering over the knocker

I nodded, and James pushed open the door

…

-Minerva McGonagall-

-'They're called Patronus Messages, and you'll find them useful to contact other members of the Order. If need should arise, simply send one my way and the Order shall come immediately'

I nodded at Albus, my upper lip tense from concentration. This was simply ingenious. Only a wizard like Dumbledore could come to such a thing

'-Shut it, will you?'

Then, the Sneakoscope went off

I spun to the door, from which the strange sounds were emerging. There was no way it could be students, hardly any were here anyways. But who else could it be? I would assume Daedalus Diggle, as he would be one to have _that_ little sense… but he was already here

I walked with Albus, Alastor and Elphias Doge; my wand bent on finding out just who set the Sneakoscope off

Dumbledore waved his wand, and the door flew open; showing…

No one

Then who set the system askew?

'Finite!' Alastor grunted

And three students fell to the floor

Three students that I knew myself to be elsewhere

I crossed my arms

'Miss Evans, I am _very_ disappointed in you. I would've thought you had more sense than to-'

'Just how,' Albus began, stepping forward 'did you get back so quickly? Remus was about to transform when you left my office not an hour ago!'

Lily Evans crossed the threshold of the room, facing its occupants

'We came by Time Turner, and you need to hear what we have to say'

…

-Lily-

'You're meaning to say, that Death Eaters are making their way to Hogwarts Castle? Imposturous. They couldn't cross the boundaries; we'd know at once'

'But they are here!' I exclaimed 'We were in the Whomping Willow when they showed at the gate!'

'With fire'

'And loads of helpers'

'From what I see' Albus said 'Death Eaters are attempting to breach the gate to get to the students. Am I correct, Lily?'

I nodded swiftly

'And we need to leave now if we're going to stop them'

'Very well' McGonagall said crisply 'it will be as you wish. Come along now, we can't be losing you again'

I was taken aback 'you-you want us to _help?_ Were underage!'

'I'm not' Sirus said proudly

'Like it matters!'

'You are as well as member. All of you are. But this is not the time for a badge, we need to leave immediately' she turned to Dumbledore, who was fiddling with the odd device that he was earlier 'what are the orders, Albus?'

…

-Snape-

-Come _on_ Severussss! We needs to breach the castle! Do as you mussst to kill the filthy Mudblooods'

I gave no response, whiping my wand out in defiance; pointing it at the high latched gate-

'Confringo'

And the world exploded in flames

…

**My goodness, this chapter took almost the whole weekend to write. Sorry about that, but the plot changed at least three times**

**I have been requested to make a happy chapter, and just so you know, I would if I could. To be honest, it just doesn't fit with my plot right now, but I'll try to squeeze one in here soon**

**I also want to have a cute conversation between Lily and James here soon. Possibly regarding their future?**

**Read to discover! And don't forget to review!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	34. Seaside Lullaby

I fiddled with my hands in front of the fireplace, counting the freckles on Lily Evans nose.

It was 2:39

It was the last week of sixth year, and the last Death Eater raid was yesterday. Altogether, no one was seriously hurt, although some were worse than others.

Lily was fine

She was taking her potion, not to mention a sleeping draught every night. Like me, nightmares had a way of finding her

And it scared me to death

But today, this morning, I realized something. Quite a few things; actually

One: I didn't want her to fight

This one was obvious, for complicated reasons. Of course I didn't want her to get hurt again, but now, even if she skinned her knee, I was terrified for her. I didn't want her to slip away from me again

Two: this war may not end in my lifetime

Haunting, but it could be true. I may be only sixteen, but war has a way of aging people

And now, I was mature enough to accept this

Three: I wanted Lily to fall asleep in my arms for the rest of my life

It wasn't planned, of course. I was in the common room, nursing a nightmare when she toppled down the stairs. I caught her, and carried her to the couch; tucking my blanket up to her chin

She looked so beautiful.

I was just about to return to my dorm when she tugged at my sleeve. Her eyes asked the question her lips wouldn't dare

Please stay.

How could I refuse?

I sat next to her, kissing her goodnight and resuming my midnight thoughts

She was everything I could ever want. Beautiful, smart, funny; able to keep her head in a fight. She had a smile that could melt the sun, and kissed with so much passion that the world could end tomorrow. Lily Evans was it for me, and it was time that I let her know. Not now, Merlin no. But tomorrow, yes- I'd do it tomorrow

Lily rolled over in her sleep, sighing softly

Her lips curled into a sweet smile- the moonlight radiant on her face

I wanted this to be forever

…

-Sirus-

'You have_ got_ to be kidding me-'

I snickered, sneaking past Lily and James, curled up so _innocently_ on a tiny loveseat (it's named that for a reason I suppose) and walked to the door; my new Silver Arrow slung over my shoulder.

That's right. It may be the middle of a war, but I needed my Quidditch time; even though the teams had disbanded for the remainder of the year. Remus and I were going to have a fly before breakfast

'This is what,' Remus said, closing the painting behind him 'the third time we've caught them?'

'Sure feels like it, but really it's only the second time. Perhaps Lilykins had a nightmare'

'Lilykins?'

'She hates the name'

'I see.'

We walked in stilled silence for a while, each watching the others backs for teachers and ghosts alike. It may just be me, but the Bloody Baron seems to have it out for me these days. This morning, however, he was nowhere to be seen.

I threw open the doors and breathed in the fresh scent. Thank Merlin for summer

'So,' I began, walking onto the pitch 'since we are ditching James and Peter _again_ we can't play real Quidditch-'

'I figured that much out myself, strangely enough'

'-So I figured we could just nick the Quaffle, you know, practise catching and throwing'

'No, I thought I would practise ducking, seeing as though you can't throw'

I slapped Remus on the shoulder 'bring it on, Misser Lupin!'

'Whatever Misser Black/Potter'

'Black/Potter?' I asked, zooming into the frozen air, turning to face him on his wobbly school broom

'Yeah' he said 'seeing as though you ditched the Blacks, and are currently living at the Potters, I feel the name will suffice

Remus smirked at me, tossing an imaginary ball from one hand to the other

'You forgot the Quaffle, idiot'

'…'

…

-Lily-

When I awoke, I realized my favourite dream had now become reality

I was lying on James Potter's chest, and I had been there all night

I blushed and looked away at his pajama choice, considering he wasn't wearing a shirt, and tucked the blanket around myself further, hiding in a convenient shadow

'Already up, Lils?'

I smiled, tucking a runaway hair behind my ear

'Of course. Mustn't be tardy'

James sighed happily, sitting up on the couch. When he noticed where my eyes were avoiding, he blushed deeply. James then tucked the coverlet up to his chin

I laughed properly, not bothering about the sleeping dorms

James chuckled and brought me to him; setting his head on the crook of my neck

'Hey! James, if the others saw-'

'Doesn't bother me. We did nothing wrong'

I turned to face him 'but it looks wrong, James! We're barely of age-'

'So? We're as well as seventh years now. Nobody with any sense will care'

'That's not what I meant'

'Then what _did _you mean?

'Well,' I stuttered 'you must know'

'That we did nothing wrong?' he asked 'that I was there for my girlfriend when she needed me?'

'That my father would murder you if he knew'

'Oh' he said dumbly 'that'

'Yes that!'

'Care to go for a walk?' he changed the subject, resorting to standing

'Like this? I'm wearing a nightgown! You have-have'

'No shirt on?' he said, striking a pose 'Even better'

I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest

'Let me get changed'

'whatever

'Fine'

'Fine'

'FINE'

'WHATEVER!'

'Be back in a minute'

But I didn't refuse a secret glance back when I was sure he couldn't see me. Blimey, I was one lucky girl

…

-James-

I glanced down at my outfit. Perhaps Lily was right, no shirt in the Entrance Hall at Hogwarts was not a good idea

What if a teacher saw me?

Oh, Merlin no. I refused to push that thought any further. Something about Minerva McGonagall seeing me in little more than my knickers was horrifying

Yep, I would get dressed

I slipped on my robes and a pair of comfortable trainers (relying on magic for those tricky laces)and burst into the common room, finding a bloody goddess waiting for me

She was wearing a flowing yellow dress with a matching bow in her hair, her curls, on the other hand, were as crazy and red as ever: her eyes shining like the sun

'Blimey, Lily' I said, wobbling up to her 'you look bloody brilliant'

Lily blushed, fiddling with her fingers behind her back

I felt _so_ underdressed

I held out my arm 'care for a stroll, darling?'

She scoffed, then burst out laughing, doubling over and everything

'Sure James' she chortled 'I'll go on a_ stroll_ with you'

'Great!'

'But we may as well have breakfast now, or we won't get it at all'

My eyes regained their usual glint

'What?' she asked hesitantly, pushing an irksome hair behind her ear

'Or we could have a picnic'

'Excellent'

…

James walked me to a secluded tree, holding my hand gently- setting a small bag on the grass

'Spread this out, will you?' he asked, passing me a fleece blanket

I complied, flicking it in a way that the wind carried it to the ground smoothly. After I had done this, I removed my shoes and dipped my toes in the lake, holding my dress out of the murky water. The sun shone on the lake, casting a yellow and blue glow around the small garden. I heard James calling me, so I waded to shore, grabbing my shoes and running to the small picnic

Just_ how _much did you take?' I asked, watching James pull out platter after platter

'Enough, although we may have to go back for some more of that Treacle Tart.'

I chuckled, filling my plate with all my favourites; including some that I wouldn't usually touch

'Care for a nip of Pumpkin Juice?' he asked, holding out a flask

'How could I refuse?'

James dipped a generous amount into my cup, letting it seep out of the rim

I set it down carefully, picking up a platter of fruit

'Strawberry, James?'

He looked disgusted 'strawberries? I hate strawberries! They're so-so _peculiar_!'

'Peculiar?'

'Too much for my taste'

'Mmhmm'

'Then would you care to answer my question?'

I hesitated 'Depends what you ask'

He laughed easily, placing my head on his lap

'Oh nothing to strenuous, I assure you.' He said, kissing me on the head 'Just a question regarding-'

'Us?'

'Yeah, how this is going to work'

I looked up at him oddly

'Whaddya mean?'

'Lily, were in the middle of the worst wizarding war ever. We may not make it long enough to, you know, finish what we've started'

'What are you implying?'

'Lily Evans, when we graduate, I want to marry you'

…

**Haha! Left you hanging there, didn't I?**

**Again, perhaps this wouldn't happen if I had something better than 'happy chapter' but there you go**

**Review! Review! Review! I need some feedback people! **

**That, and I want to say that we've at least tripled the chapters to review ratio! You guys are amazing!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	35. I Think I Wanna Marry You

'_What are you implying?'_

'_Lily Evans, when we graduate, I want to marry you'_

…_._

I couldn't speak, my hands flush over my words

'I… wait what?'

James took my hand again; staring way farther into my eyes than caring could reach

'I want to marry you someday'

I took a rushed breath, steadying the rush of emotions. He wanted to marry me! James Potter wanted to marry me!

'Uh, when did you have in mind?'

James put his hand on his chin

'Perhaps in the fall? I've always fancied the colors, and it can be the fall right after we graduate. Why, did you have an idea?'

Of course I did. Any girl spends any allotted amount of time planning her wedding; picking colors- trying to pick through her favourite faces and choose a suitable groom. But this didn't matter, considering I was too shocked to air more than a gasp and spill tears of pure pleasure

'Yes, oh yes James! That sounds lovely!'

He leapt to his feet, fixating his eyes on me- pulling me to standing. I let out a exuberating laugh- a proper one, and lost myself as soon as his lips touched mine

I smiled against his sincerity, laughed despite his determination. Everything was so perfect- nothing could ruin this moment for me

James opened a small crystal box, exposing a beautiful ring that I didn't have words for. All that I knew that it was mine- he was mine, and this ring was nothing more than a reminder.

'I reckon I should do this properly' he coughed, picking up my left hand 'Lily Evans, I know that I love you more than anything, and I most definitely want to spend the rest of my life with you. But until then, I give you this reminder. It's not much, but-'

'Not much!' I exclaimed, picking up my ring finger, watching my new ring catch the light 'James, it's beautiful!'

My almost-fiancé picked up his face immediately, picking me up and spinning me around in the buttery light. My curls spun and my dress twirled, but I had eyes for only him- only the one who had made the biggest decision of his life. I laughed despite the tension, and after a moment, he joined me

'Now let me see that smile' he said, setting me on the soft grass. I cut across a blazing half-sobbing face, which he blushed at.

'James, we have to-to plan a wedding!' I stood and began to pace 'there's so much to do! We'll have to pick flowers, and people an-'

'Lils!' he laughed, grabbing my waist 'stop that worrying! I could elope and be perfectly happy!'

'Yes, but I want an actual wedding. I want my dad and sister to be there'

'Sounds great, love. But don't stress, I don't want that to come of this'

I grinned so wide I almost cracked my jaw. But that didn't matter; nothing mattered in accordance to this. Wait, we had to tell our parents!

'I mean, of course I want the Marauders to be there. And you'll want Marlene and Alice, I wouldn't mind if we had Dumbledore there either-'

'James,' I said

'I mean, he's done so much for us. An' McGonagall, no matter how much she appears to hate me, you and I both know that it isn't true-'

'James!'

'Not to mention-'

'JAMES CHARLUS POTTER! YOU LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW!'

He stopped immediately 'What?'

'Our parents! We have to tell our parents!'

James laughed an easy laugh, uncrossing my thick demeanor

'You honestly believe that I wouldn't ask your father first? How thick do you think I am?'

'Apparently not as much as I previously encountered'

James picked over the remnants of a picnic 'care for anything? We really should get back to the castle'

I shook my head

'Swell, alright then' he pulled out his wand 'Scourgify'

The blanket, food and basket all disappeared, tucked neatly into the little brown bag

'Undetectable extension charm. Literally, works like a charm. Come on, the, dear _fiancé_

I blushed, taking his unoccupied hand; half skipping back to the castle. For all I know, I could've been the biggest fool of Hogwarts, but why would that matter anymore! I had James; and this time- he promised me forever

…

-Charlus-

'I wonder how the kids are doing'

I huffed, fluffing the pillow I was lying on- staring at the crackling fireplace

'I'm sure their doing fine, but I can't help but worry over all that's going on. They're my babies!'

I rolled my eyes. By the words James told me, they weren't babies anymore. Not even close

'Dor, they're almost in their last year. You can't pen them up forever. James and Lily-'

'I _do_ hope she's improved from last letter. She wasn't looking so well even then'

'But James-'

'Will take care of her, of course. How silly of me to think he wouldn't! We raised him better than that!'

'You remember what he told us! He's going to propose!'

Shoot. I set myself up for a death trap

'Propose?' she whispered, her eyes shining like diamonds 'he said he was going to- Oh James!'

My wife engulfed me in a hug, her sweet perfume masking her brute strength. Who would've thought it?

'Who would've thought…' she murmured, fixating her eyes on a teapot 'James and Lily, oh Merlin, she's going to be part of the family! They have so much to do, of course. And it's _such _a shame that their wedding is taking backseat to a bloody war! I _have_ to talk to them! Perhaps we could send a fancy Patronus message to Dumbledore-'

'DOREA!' I shouted, trapping her hands in mine 'the kids don't want a fuss! James just said he and Lily wanted a _simple_ ceremony! We're lucky if we even get invited!'

'INVITED? OF COURSE WE'RE BLOODY INVITED! I'M HIS _MOTHER_!'

'Then calm down. A huge commotion is the last thing anyone needs. Leave it alone, I wasn't supposed to tell you.'

'YOU KNEW? YOU KNEW ALL THIS TIME AND DIDN'T _TELL ME?_'

'He didn't want _this_ to happen I guess'

'We're going' she said suddenly, a burning happiness in her eyes 'I need to congratulate them!'

I sighed. I wish I had kept my bloody mouth shut

…

-Daniel Evans-

My baby girl was _leaving me_

I couldn't believe it. I didn't _want _to believe it.

Goodness, I wish her mother was here

She'd know what to do! She always was able to calm Petunia down when her wedding preparations were in full swing, but what about me? At least she'll have a dad to walk her down the aisle

I remember when James came over a few weeks ago. What surprised me was that Lily wasn't the person beside him- it was that Serious boy.

And James looked mighty nervous.

I invited them both into the house, offering them tea, somewhat cautious of their whole demeanor; and took my seat back on the amrchair

'So tell me-'

''

I shook my head and looked back at James, who was completely red in the face

'I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear that'

Both of the boys shifted aimlessly on Grace's antique sofa, James' tea almost slopping on his jeans

'James here,' Serious Black pointed to him, 'wants your permission to-'

'I can speak for myself, Padfoot!' James hissed

'Yes, but have you said anything coherent yet?'

'Can you just tell me what this is about?'

Both of the boys looked at me in confusion, but then James shaped up

'I want permission to marry your daughter'

Wait, what?

…

-James-

Today was the best day of my life

Lily Evans was going to marry me!

I could barely wipe the ridiculous smile off my face as we walked into the Entrance Hall, slowly walking up the marble staircase. All of that time, I didn't take my eyes off of my future bride

She still looked as beautiful as always; her sunny yellow dress swishing against my leg- her diamond ring catching the light. Every once in a while, she would pick up her left hand- almost as if assuring that it wasn't just a dream, smile, and kiss me on the cheek

I couldn't believe it.

If this was how she reacted to everything wedding, I was _so_ glad I picked now. This would be heaven for the next year and a half.

'What do you suppose the others will say?' she asked thoughtfully, picking her skirt up for another set of stairs

'Well, I'm sure the Marauders will be fine with it, I mean, we're both of age'

'But your mother! Merlin, do your parents know? She'll go berserk!'

'I told my dad what I was planning on doing, and he seemed fine with it. Actually said "well, it's about time!" I'll admit, didn't see that one coming. But my mother, no. Dad said he'll keep his mouth shut'

I shook my head. James can be so thick sometimes

'But you _did_ ask my father, right? He was _so_ angry when Vernon didn't ask for Petunia's hand in marriage'

'Course, asked him a few weeks ago, I thought you were asleep, so the Marauders and I left. That was that day-'

'That I saw Voldemort in the mirror, yes'

I hesitated, pulling her in front of me 'but you _are_ okay with all this, right? You really want to marry me?'

Lily looked at me in overwhelming happiness 'of course I want to marry you. Any proper girl would'

That was all I needed to hear

…

**So, part two of the wedding influenza! There will be at least one if not two more on just the next couple of days, so be prepared!**

**We have exactly 9 987 hits right now. Ten thousand! Shoot for ten thousand!**

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**Thanks for reading, and make sure you review!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	36. Simply Meant to Be

-Sirius-

I knew something had happened from the very first glance.

James was ecstatic: his eyes were glinting with something other than a prank. And for once, Miss Prefect Lily was listening to him, her smile practically blinding us

I wanted so much to run up and ruin the happy moment, but for some reason; I just couldn't

They were so _happy_

The last time I had seen Prongs this excited was when we finished the Marauders map. But this was simply off the charts

'Prongs?' Peter said, stepping, or rather tripping, into the free space

'Shut it Wormy'

'But what _happened _to you?'

James hastily wiped a suspicious red stain off of his cheek. Lily flushed deeply

'Nothing. We just went-'

'For a walk, yes' Lily finished, sending a pointed look in his direction; shrugging off his hand. James looked hurt

'And you're _this_ excited for going on a walk?'

James shifted from foot to foot. Alice sighed impatiently

'Lily, nothing _just _happens with that prat' (James scowled in her direction) 'And that smile is far from normal'

'Yeah' I said suddenly 'I agree with Alice!'

The impending crowd gave me a collected look of confusion

'What?'

'Padfoot!' Remus said, pretending to wipe a tear off of his cheek 'I'm so proud! You said something that could be deciphered as intelligent!'

'Deciphered?'

'It means to figure out'

'I know what it bloody well means!'

'How long are we going to argue like this?'

I folded my arms 'until that prat tells us _just what_ made James this fidgety'

James ignored me, flopping down on his favourite armchair. Lily followed suit, her smile trailing after her as she sat beside him

'Yes?'

'What?'

Remus shrugged, straining his eyes for something on Lily's hand 'I don't want to pry, but is that a ring?'

Lily ducked her hand under James', hiding her head under his wings

'So it _is_ a ring!' I said exuberantly 'you do realize that her birthday's in January, right? Even I knew that'

'Not just any ring…' Remus said quietly

'Whaddya mean? Rings aren't all that different from one another, right?'

'How daft can you be?' Peter exclaimed 'even I know what that is!'

I strained my eyes and my mouth went wide, spotting the glint of pearl from under the cushion

James had proposed

He bloody proposed!

Why didn't he tell me? His best friend and he didn't say a word.

Why?

…

The common room went silent after this recent pronouncement. What could you say to the person who made the worst decision of their lives?

'James,' I said quietly 'could I have a word?'

My best friend rose, kissing his new bloody _fiancé_ on the cheek; and following me into the sixth year boy's dorm

I shut the door behind me, standing across from him in the small room

'What were you bloody well _thinking?'_ I burst out 'You've just turned of age!'

James looked at me in confusion 'What do you mean? I've been of age for a while now'

'That's not the point! You're too young to get married!'

'Too young?' he exclaimed 'because of the war, why shouldn't we? We could die tomorrow without having a proper-'

'Proper what, Prongs?' I interrupted 'just _what_ were you going to say?'

He blushed, sitting down on his bed 'I was going to say wedding'

'Sure you were'

James shook his head, messing his hair up again. I sat beside him

'What did you want me to do, Sirius? Pretend that I don't love her? I don't want to die without her knowing'

'Don't talk like that' I snapped 'you and Lily are going to be fine. We're all going to be fine'

'But what if it doesn't turn out okay?' he persisted, his eyes fierce 'What if we don't get a happy ending? It's a _war_ Sirius! Voldemort isn't going to let Lily and the Marauders go just because I died for her! Nobility doesn't _matter_ anymore! He'll kill you either way! Just like they did to Beth Saraline.'

I looked down. I remembered her alright. She died knowing that I hated her- we had broken up that very day. She went out for a walk, and, well, Bellatrix found her. Mudblood; with tears intermixing with the blood. I was the one who found her, coming out of the Shrieking Shack with James that night. We took care of her; giving her a proper burial. She had no family left. I refused to forgive myself

'I understand' I said slowly 'don't think that I don't. It's just… you're the only family I have left'

James shook his head 'Getting married isn't going to stop that! You're still my best friend! We'll visit you in your flat- heck; you could come live with us if you want. I don't care. Just- don't be careless, okay?'

I nodded, slapping him upside the head. James scowled from beneath his glasses; haphazardly fixing his hair

We both got up, with me leaping to open the door- which James laughed at. Maybe things wouldn't change after all.

'Who would've thought it, eh?' I said, putting my arm around him 'little jamesie getting married to one Lily Evans. Or does she go by Potter now?'

James wacked me back, and I had a pleasant view of the many changes of face color.

'No matter' I said happily, practically leaping over the banister 'you'd better get back to her, and Merlin forbid you hurt her, you'll see the ugly side of my wand, understand?'

He smirked, opening the door to the common room

What the heck did that mean?

…

-Lily-

I couldn't believe the growing aura of excitement. Sure, we were getting married. Yes, it's true- we are only seventeen. I simply could not believe how outrageous this pronouncement had made my friends. Thankfully, I had Remus sitting beside me, so it wasn't too unbearable, but still- not really my cup of tea

I almost sighed with relief when James and Sirius burst into the room, their robes swishing behind them. James took the moment to make his hair all the much more untidy. He grinned at me

'Oi! Don't suffocate my fiancé!'

'We weren't!' Peter exclaimed, pointing at my face 'see!'

I managed a sour smile, and his face became downfall. The room burst into laughter

'Don't worry,' I assured him 'at least Remus and Marlene kept me sane. Truly, it's wasn't _all_ bad'

'It was entertaining to watch, though' a Gryffindor said ruefully

'Indeed!'

I rose to stand beside James, who then put his arm around me; grinning like a fool

'Come on you lot! We can't stay inside forever! The grounds aren't going to walk themselves!'

I nodded at Remus, taking James' hand

'And this time' he whispered behind my sheet of hair 'I'm not letting you go'

…

-Albus Dumbledore-

I sat at my desk, absentmindedly folding and unfolding my fingers. In my opinion, they were far too long for their own good. I smiled at my thoughts, watching the hearth glow with green fire

'Visitors' I said quietly

Two figures burst out of the hearth; their robes clearly disheveled from the trip

'What do owe the pleasure, Charlus?'

My visitor smiled and shook his head, motioning to his wife, who was just getting up

'Dorea here has the uncanny need to visit Lily and James' Charlus walked up beside me 'I let it slip that a marriage seems to be in order'

'James and Lily? Are you quite certain? Oh that _is_ something to celebrate! Oh, I do believe that they're down in the gardens, no doubt enjoying this beautiful day'

Charlus smiled at me, glad that I took the news well

'Off you go!' I said happily, showing the Potters to the door 'Lily and James, oh what the pleasure. I _do_ hope that I'm invited, I so love weddings'

'I'll make it in stone, Dumbledore'

I smiled, taking a sweet from the desk, popping it in my mouth

Perhaps Lily and James were ready for the Order. Mustn't wait, as things were all the much more tense now. What a shame

…

-James-

'JAMES POTTER!'

I spun on the spot, expecting the worst- pushing the others behind me and Sirius

The branches quivered on an adjacent cherry tree. My wand held steady in my hand. Two figures protruded the hazy shadows

A wall of pure force slammed into my, knocking my whole form to the ground

I yelled for the others to run, but they only laughed in response

It was only my parents

'Mum? What in Merlin's name are you doing here?'

'To congratulate you, of course!' she exclaimed, sucking the air right out of my lungs 'We came the moment I knew!'

She proceeded to hug Lily too, her small frame barely sustaining the blow

I gave my father the look. He shrugged and rolled his eyes

'Your mother, you know, always able to grab the details. Truthfully, I wanted you to tell her; you and Lily, once it actually came to be'

Lily nudged me from behind 'just when did you tell him?'

I pulled a half-smile 'A couple months ago'

'A couple of _months_ ago?'

'What does it matter? I wanted advice'

That was when I discovered the rest of them watching us like one of those Muggle Tenish matches

'What?'

'What's the point in getting married?' Remus laughed 'you two already are an old married couple'

I scoffed

Lily laughed

Maybe this was meant to be

…

**So! How'd you like it?**

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**Thanks for reading!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	37. In the Place Where Everything's Hidden

To be honest, I was proud of James. I could never pluck up the courage to even tell the girl I loved that I cared about her. That took a lot of courage, something that was rather thin on the ground at the moment

After we left the garden, (and finally lost Mr. and Mrs. - sorry, Mum and Dad- in the castle corridors. Thank Merlin, that woman was suffocating us) The Marauders and Lily left for the seventh floor. We were explaining the Marauders map to her

'So you've mapped out _everything?_' she asked, fingering the seventh floor corridors in confusion 'wait, there's more to that than this! I've been there a thousand times! Not a room, but a flat stone wall'

James rushed his hair on end, looking over Lily's shoulder 'yes, I see what you mean. Perhaps we could go investigate, eh Padfoot?' he grinned at me

I smirked back, tossing the map into Peter's empty hands; which he accepted like a bomb

'Eh, Wormy where you been lately?' Remus struck up, stuffing his hands in his pockets 'haven't seen you around much'

Peter scrunched up his pink cheeks 'Oh, just- running errands'

'Errands?' James said 'We were in Diagon Alley not a week ago!'

'I, uh, forgot some things'

'Race you to the bottom, Black?'

I grinned at James 'not if I get there first, Potter!'

I laughed, leaping up yet another staircase, close in stretch with James. He skidded at the landing, nearly falling in a huge expanse of water

'Oi! What's with the leak?' he exclaimed, magicking his robes to dry

'Moaning Myrtle' Lily said, like it should make all the sense in the world

'Sorry, but what the bloody hell is "Moaning Myrtle"'

Lily laughed, shaking her head 'Not what; who. Now follow me'

I snuck a glance back at James, who shrugged; following his gi-_fiancé_ into the small 'out of order' room

'Lily…' Remus said, shuffling his feet in the muck and looking around 'this a girls lavatory'

I looked around in horror. It was true! This was so wrong!

'Lily, someone's going to come in! What then?'

'No one ever comes in here.' She said 'They say it's haunted, but looks can be deceiving'

She aimed the last part at Remus, who nodded sadly

'Myrtle is just… unpredictable. I found this place with Alice in first year. Marlene was-'

'I don't really want to know what Marlene was doing, thanks' I interrupted, taking my place on an undignified puddle

Lily laughed 'Oh, nothing like that. But-'

'Come to insult me, have you?'

I felt the frozen feeling of a ghoul go through me, and spun: revealing a furiously upset girl

'Who are you?' Peter asked stupidly, accidently breaking a sink, ignoring the spray 'I've never seen you before'

The ghoul hissed, setting the remaining sinks on end

'Oi! That's not helping, Wormy!'

'Shut it off, will you?'

'Lily, _do something!'_

Lily froze, and then burst into action; immediately not only calming the ghoul, but also halting the flow of water from the pipes. She hesitantly lowered her wand, the fire in her eyes extinguished

'What are you even doing here?' Remus asked 'I mean, you're a ghost. You could go anywhere'

The little ghoul pulled a horridly taut face, bursting into very loud wails

'Myrtle, shh! We're not supposed to be here!'

The tears dripped into the small puddles, and Myrtle turned to face me, a pout on her lips

'I can't just go anywhere' she said haughtily 'I _died_ here. Wish I could again, with how you treat me'

James pulled a face, gagging behind Lily's shoulder

'Sorry to disturb you Myrtle. It won't happen again. Come on boys'

Lily grabbed James' hand, pulling him from the bathroom. Like a magnet, the rest of us followed

'What on earth was that about?' Remus exclaimed, ridding his body of water 'that ghost is bonkers!'

'I know, but now you have something else to put on that map'

I shared a grin with the other Marauders, then at Lily; who was taking the map from James

'Okay, if we're going to make it to the seventh floor, we need to hurry. Dinner's in a few hours'

'Come on, lads! We have a corridor to explore!'

…

-Lily-

Looking at the clock, I realized that we would have to miss dinner.

It was three hours and twenty-four minutes since we had reached the wall, and nothing we did made any effect. Combined, I think I've heard Diffindo's, Dissendium's, Specialis Revelio's and a very stubborn Alohomora at least a dozen times. At last, they collapsed to the floor in a heap

'Lils, there's nothing here' James sighed, playing with his wand 'we've been at it for hours'

I began to pace, facing the Marauders with cool, set eyes

'There's got to be something' I muttered, thinking 'there's more to this than an empty wall'

'It could be the Come and Go room' Remus suggested, pulling out a quill 'but it's just legend'

I sighed, pushing through the gangly string of thoughts. What I would do for something to sort through my thoughts for me…

Then, out of nowhere, creaks in the wall appeared- spouting wrought-iron doors which groaned and pushed open. I stood there with my mouth open wide

'What the bloody hell is _that_?' Sirius burst out; walking towards the entrance much like a bee would towards honey

James grabbed his arm just in time

'We don't know what's in there! It could be anything!'

'Come on,' Remus said, rising to his friends level 'where's your sense of adventure? This is the best thing we've ever found!'

'Yeah' Peter said

'I don't know…'

'Oh come on, Lils. May as well have a good day out of it, seeing as though we missed dinner'

'Fine. But we go down for tea later, understood?'

Sirius laughed 'that's my girl'

…

Walking through the door, I discovered that we had entered an overweight rubbish yard

The whole of the place was stuffed top to bottom in anything and everything; including an enormous stuffed troll, and human skeleton made completely of gold.

The others had spread out to look around, and without noticing it, the doors swung shut behind me; locking us in

'James?'

I heard a parade of feet, which only ended with the five of us staring at a flat wall of glass

'Locked in! This is just brilliant' Remus stated, resting his hand momentarily on a wall before realizing that it was covered in blood stains

'What _is_ this place?' I asked, my voice huddled and frightened

'Don't worry' James assured me, kissing the top of my head 'it's just an adventure. Come on, we can look together'

Everyone looked around with a rainbow of emotions. I, however, was unconvinced

'Hey, look at this!' he said, holding up what looked like a run-over reptile

'A fanged Frisbee!' he exclaimed 'I've always wanted one of these!'

'Really?' Sirius asked, running over 'can I see that?'

James handed it over, grinning ear to ear. I smiled, running my ring over in my hand

'Oi!' Peter yelled, his voice echoing 'catch a glance at this huge cupboard!'

'That's not a cupboard, you tosspot' Remus scolded him, taking a closer look 'no, that's definitely a cabinet'

'I FOUND THE CATAPULTS!' Sirus nearly screamed, urgently rushing over to them

'These aren't just any catapults,' James said, his eyes nearly popping from their sockets 'they're flying catapults!'

I shook my head at the boy's laughter, taking a route that had not yet been explored. I came to a stop at the foot of a giant sheet

I cocked my head, but grinned; hauling the cloth away at its seams. What was revealed surprised me. It was a huge mirror; orante and tall. On its top had a string of nonsense:_ Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi._

I pulled closer, completely fascinated by my discovery, but once I pulled forward; I wasn't the only one in the glass anymore.

I saw myself, frightened and elated, wearing a white dress with a ring on my finger. James was standing beside me, and Petunia was smiling on my other side, holding the train in her fingers

I spun quickly, and was shocked to discover that I was still alone. I pulled closer still- my nose touching the reflection

My parents were there also- my mother smiling with tears in her eyes. My dad was pulling her close, smiling at the Daily Prophet which recorded Voldemort's death

I reached my hand out behind me, not tearing my eyes from this brilliant sight

'James! Sirius! Come here! I found something!'

…

-Sirius-

What I saw when I rushed up to Lily surprised me, because for once, it wasn't only my reflection in the mirror.

I saw my family, but they weren't my normal family, as who could see my mother laughing? But she was! And Regulus! He was smiling, and there was no Dark Mark in sight. There was a pale body on the ground, and everyone in the mirror sighed at my glance. It was Voldemort; and at last he was dead

Like Lily, I poked my head behind me, expecting to see the bloodless corpse at my feet. But he wasn't- no one in this pictured existed

…

-James-

Once I fixed my eyes on the glass, I forgot about leaving.

I forgot about Voldemort, I forgot about everything, for what I saw surprised me.

It was just I, at first, but then other figures began to appear.

I saw a red haired bride; Lily, and her head was on my shoulder. I saw my grandparents, the ones I never got to meet; and a badge on my chest. If I wasn't mistaken, it was an Auror badge. I was an Auror! The Marauders were there as well, and everyone repeated a single phrase over and over.

_He's gone, he's gone. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is finally gone!_

Voldemort's gone too! What was this thing?'

…

-Remus-

I tried to be prepared, as he last to arrive, I could see what the mirror was doing to my friends. But they were fine, just absorbed in what they saw; shouting loudly for the others to see

But once I caught the glance, I forgot what I was about to say

I saw myself, alone at first, until three people joined me. They looked familiar, so I leaned forward to see my parents, and another person that I didn't recognize. My parents were thrilled, because looking at the mirror-me, I had lost my scars and fatigue. I was no longer a werewolf! The last person in the mirror smiled and kissed me on the cheek. Instinctively, I touched the place where the beautiful woman had kissed me, but nothing was there. The girl was familiar, in a way, but I couldn't place the name with the face. I was older too, at least in my twenties. I girl laughed and her long brown hair changed to a short pink.

The girl hugged me from behind, pointing to a tombstone beside me. Looking down, I noticed the name: Voldemort.

He was dead! The war was over!

I wanted nothing more than what this showed. I wanted this reflection to become reality

And now, I was getting desperate.

…

**Aha! The Mirror of Erised makes another appearance!**

**I know that the Room of Requirement isn't on the Marauders map, but I will explain why later. And for all those Harry fanatics, everything they see in the room is factual. The Vanishing Cabinet **_**was**_** there at the time (in the Room of Hidden Things form) as was the mirror. My brother and I were watching the Deathly Hallows "behind the magic" thing on youtube, and in the Lestranges vault, there was a skeleton made of solid gold. I liked the idea of that, so there you go.**

**Hope you like it! Keep reviewing!**

**-Silence Nevermore**

**P.S. has anyone else had issues with story eyes? Mines been down all weekend**


	38. How Do You Say Goodbye

Walking up the corridor didn't have its usual ring today.

To me, the stone floors and peaked ceilings contained a sense of forbearing; something unique and special. To be the first to learn of the secret passageways ignorance hid was like an adventure. Something that I prized to do.

But today, walking down the corridor with McGonagall at the head was mortally terrifying. All she said was that the headmaster wanted to see us.

What on earth did that mean?

I gripped Lily's hand tighter, quietly turning the ring over in my fingers. I couldn't believe that I had proposed today. That buttery moment seemed like a lifetime ago.

'This way,' the depute headmistress instructed, pointing us towards the spiral staircase 'he'll see you now'

A soft voice answered her

'Thank you'

Professor McGonagall walked away, her black robes so unfit for the sunny afternoon. But before she left, she murmured the passcode (Fizzing Wizzbees)

I turned to face the steps

'Come on'

'Where are you going?'

Lily's fingers slipped out of mine, her face turning proud. She turned to face the person standing there.

'Sod off, Severus'

His expression didn't change, but his eyes showed inexpressible emotions.

'What do want, Snape?'

His gaze lingered on Lily for a moment before it slammed back to Sirius.

'What are you doing here?' he asked, his arms crossed over a small book. His eyes were as hard as the bindings.

'None of your business,' Remus said cordially, almost reaching Sirius back by the collar 'but we really must be going'

I stood, fixating my hate with his cold body. It fit like a glove

'Come along, Severus. You are needed elsewhere'

His face flicked behind him, but again, he showed little emotion

'Goodbye, Severus'

Snape cast a little smile at Lily before sweeping his robes towards the end of the hall

'We really should be going' Peter said, one foot on the stair 'He'll be waiting'

I nodded, and together, we rose to the Headmasters office.

What did Dumbledore know that we didn't?

…

-Remus-

Walking up that staircase was a living hell.

For one, I had no idea what he wanted. None of us did. For all I knew, he was going to finally expel me. I knew it was coming.

Lily put her hand on my shoulder, almost as if she knew. I smiled weakly, watching James hesitantly knock on the stone cold wood.

'Come in'

I hesitated, then walked in prudently; my face hung low

'Please sit down,' Dumbledore said, waving his hand. In a falsetto of color, five chairs appeared. The Headmaster sat down at his desk, folding away a collection of notes. We sat down quietly, yet quickly.

'What's this about, Professor?'

His blue eyes smiled at me 'it's nothing to fear, Remus. You have done nothing worth of fault. Why you're here is due to an overindulgence of curiosity.'

I shared a look of horror with the others. What did he know?

'And in this case, it doesn't appear as though it brought on harm.' he said warmly, settling comfortably on his desk chair

'We know about the Room of Requirement' Peter blurted out. He flushed at our glares, and slithered back into his hole

Dumbledore laughed softly

'Yes, I know. You did nothing wrong. In fact, I was quite bemused when I got word. I myself have only found the Room once, and never did find it again. Just how did you do it?'

Lily painted a smile on her face, hesitantly pressing it for her words to follow

'It was me, Professor. I just wanted…'

The headmaster smiled warmly, but didn't push for her to finish.

'I-I guess I just wanted something to sort through my thoughts for me. I found a mirror professor'

Dumbledore suddenly leaned forward, as if 'mirror' was an internal warning bell.

'What did you learn from it, Lily?'

She cocked her head, clearly not accepting his response

'No,' she said urgently 'no, I did something wrong! I wanted to, but I shouldn't have! I deserve to be punished!'

'Oh no, I would never punish for something as silly as that. Please, adhere to what you've learned. I warn you in the sense that you may only know once. You will never see that mirror again'

'But-'James began, but Sirius was far ahead of him in speech

'What does that mean? We could just do whatever we did before and go see it!'

'Please, hear what I'm not saying, Sirius. The Mirror of Erised lives off of unspoken wishes. It shows nothing more or less than the deepest and most harmful desire of your hearts. Seeing what you've always wanted is addictive, and I will allow none to succumb to that.'

'To what?' Peter said numbly, fumbling with the ash on his face

'To wasting away. To living off of fierce desire in a world that doesn't exist. It can kill you, Peter. It takes a brave heart to see it'

I took notice of every detail in the room. The cluttered bookshelves of scrolls and notes. The off puffing and tweeting of silver spines around the cabinets. That's what they were, nothing more than a spine obliging to another. Somehow, this comparison comforted my exhaustive what ifs.

'And Remus?'

I did all but stood up and left

'I have a request to make of you'

I picked at a recent scar, noticing the calm in Dumbledore's eyes

'What you see is something of a calming draught. Don't forget that'

I nodded, taking the notice as a dismissal, fetching my rucksack and smile; throwing both over my shoulder. Sirius followed me, stopping only when we reached the threshold of the office

'And congratulations, Lily and James. I couldn't be more proud. However, I must say; it would be an honor to witness.'

Lily's laugh rang out like bells.

'You've been invited for years, Professor.'

He smiled softly, placing a firm hand on James' shoulder, placing an object in his hand. James looked at it, uncertainty written in his scars. Dumbledore nodded, so he continued to the door

I walked out the door with the last thought of a member missing. I froze, counting heads.

'What happened to Pete?'

Sirius turned first, noting the absence, but shrugging. James and Lily actually took the time to note the action.

'Reckon he did something wrong?'

I shook my head, knowing silently that he could never think up such a scheme that James and Sirius didn't know about.

At last, a tired looking Peter shuffled past the door, into the gargoyles waiting wings. He stood and didn't say a word.

'At last, the celebration begins'

Lily turned to face me, her hand once again encased by James'

'What do you mean?'

'You just got engaged!'

…

-Lily-

The night was something to remember

There was a huge celebration in the Gryffindor common room, and everyone came. People continually rushed up to us- some of whom I didn't even know-praising us, admiring the ring and moving on. I thought this action to be rather odd.

The festivities lasted for hours, and Butterbeer and Firewhiskey flowed like honey from the continual basins. No one would have noticed a lone Peter Pettigrew slipping into his dormitory. I, for one, wouldn't have noticed except for a presence leaving the room.

…

When it was finally over, I sat quietly in a shade of moonlight, quietly smiling at the slivered moon

'Hey, Lils'

I sighed happily, feeling him slip in beside me

'You look so beautiful Lily'

I looked down. I was wearing nothing special; a nightgown and frizzy hair definitely wasn't pretty, let alone beautiful. I brushed back a curl and told him so

'Oh no. _You_ are beautiful. I wouldn't have it any other way'

James leant down, and as soft as silk, he kissed me. I smiled against his lips, finally feeling a moment of pure bliss.

He pulled away, a smile tugging at his lips. At last, he bent his head towards my ear, whispering the words that melted my heart.

_Oh where, oh where can my baby be?_

_The Lord took her away from me_

_She's gone to heaven so I've got to be good_

_So I can see my baby when I leave this world._

…

**First of all, I would like to thank all of you lovely people who took the time to read this. You guys are amazing; and the reason that I love to update. Enough praise cannot be given. Earlier today, I was looking at stats, (what a wonderful invention…) and noticed that altogether, I've had more that 20'000 hits. This is unreal. This is unnatural. Most likely, you guys are just spectacular, no doubt about it.**

**I also want to dedicate this chapter to StunningFire, whose birthday is tomorrow and has been such an awesome reviewer that I couldn't help it. Thanks so much :D**

**Anyways, please review! Please, please please! I love to hear from you guys, and what you have to say.**

**Thanks again,**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	39. Fake It

**Do note that this has a time blurp in it. It's now the end of July, 1977. **

**-Silence Nevermore**

-Peter-

These days, I didn't do much more than sit and think. My favourite spot of all was the Astronomy tower. It had an excellent view, and from here, it was guaranteed that no one could ever see me.

Sobbing, that is.

Because yesterday, my entire family was murdered.

It was an accident.

Or at least, that's what the Daily Prophet had said. My mother and father were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was a Muggle train that did it. A Muggle train going far too fast.

I hadn't told a soul. What was the use? I didn't need sympathy, I needed revenge- and it was something the Dark Lord had to offer. It was the one thing he had in excess.

I was sure that he knew.

Dumbledore knows everything, and this time- he knew about me.

I remember every word of what he said in his office that day. Every synapse in his voice exclaimed it to the world. The greatest wizard of all time knew my secret

…

_Dumbledore walked up to me, his eyes as dark and deep as wells. He spoke words that bypassed all of my boundaries. The others were still outside_

'_Is there anything you'd like to tell me Peter?'_

_I hesitated, and then shook my head, lowering the sleeve on my left arm…_

'_Are you quite sure?'_

_I nodded again, my voice struggling to keep steady_

'_Remember, Mr. Pettigrew, that words are something that can see underneath your skin; something charged with enough power to change the fate of the world. Choose your words carefully'_

_I nodded, exiting his office with the weight of a challenge tugging on my Mark_

…

I remained motionless, somehow succumbing to a recess of thought. Nowadays, I lived in Hogsmeade. When Potter had asked me, I said that my mother was ill. So ill, in fact, that I couldn't return all summer.

And like a fool, he bought it.

It wasn't hard to live off of scraps in the village, or find a small patch of warmth the wallow in; as magic had its benefits.

The Ministry of Magic, to be exact.

And to be a Death Eater, I had to be the one to break it.

…

-James-

'Blimey, Padfoot! My head isn't a Quaffle!'

Meanwhile, Sirius and Remus couldn't stop laughing. From below, even my parents couldn't smother their giggles.

I rubbed my head sadly, my lip pouting just the right amount. Remus finally surrendered, hovering me to the ground some thirty feet below. When I landed, my mother already had her wand out; fully prepared to mend any wounds Sirius may have caused.

What I did notice was just how concerned Lily was. She didn't leave my side until my mother healed my minor head wound. Even then, it was only to fetch a glass of water. I didn't understand; she had watched me play Quidditch for years. This wasn't the first time that I had gotten hurt, nor was it anywhere close to being the last.

Finally, I saw my accuser and rescuer standing above me

'Alright there, Prongs?'

I nodded, tugging my wand out to say the counter-curse. At last, I was standing on my own two feet

'You'd best hurry,' Sirius said, picking out my mum fixing something in the doorway 'we all know how your mother's potions end up.'

I shuddered, remembering when her sleeping draught made me and Sirius sprout identical unicorn horns in second year. We were in St. Mungo's for days.

I nodded quickly, grabbing my broom and Lily's hand simultaneously; sneaking around the broom shed

'Witch would you prefer?' Sirius asked, pointing to the assortment of Quidditch supplies

Lily shook her head 'What a pun, Sirius. You are so _funny_!'

'Yeah, like Siriusly, Padfoot' I said solemnly, crossing my arms over my chest

Remus burst out laughing

I was next, followed by Lily and Sirius. And by this point, we were all on the floor, not even bothering to care anymore.

'James, are you in there? Your mother is looking for you'

I froze, pushing a hand over Lily's mouth; listening hard for my father's footsteps. At last, the little rustling I heard past, and his voice echoed farther down the lawn.

'Come on,' I whispered, my eyes glinting with a challenge 'let's go for a fly'

…

-Lily-

Being on a broomstick was outstanding.

No, that couldn't even describe it. It was amaculate, assuring; amazing. And those were only the A's.

Even on my own broom, the sights were beautiful. The sunset over Spinners End was beautiful, no matter who lived there. For me, it simply didn't matter anymore. Severus Snape was my past; my childhood friend. James was the future; there was no comparison between them.

'When do you want to land?' James shouted over the wind, his hair so messy that askew could no longer define it. I smiled

'I don't care, just as long as your mother doesn't mind?'

'Oh no,' Sirius said, his curly hair furled behind him 'Dorea doesn't care as long as we're home for supper. You know how she hates leftovers'

I laughed

'Moony, you alright?' James asked him, sliding his broom up beside him 'The full moons coming up'

Remus smiled weakly, his face already looking peaky. I looked to the sky. The full moon was due in a few days' time. No wonder he was so quiet earlier.

'Oi! Are those clouds?'

I looked towards where Sirius was pointing, my eyes growing to saucers

'Those aren't-'

'DEATH EATERS! GET TO THE GROUND! _NOW_!'

I furled my broom into a steep dive, completely aware that a masked man could take my life without a moment's notice. I furrowed my brow.

'YOU KNOW THE PLAN!' James shouted 'GET THERE, FAST! WE'LL MEET UP THEN!'

The plan, of course, was to meet up where the first person landed. Seeing as though I was in front, I picked a very familiar place, steering the group towards the Spinners End playground

I was quick to land, immediately masking myself with the most powerful concealment charm I could conjure. Unfortunately, it was weak enough for even my breath to be heard

I ducked behind a dying thistle, keeping even my blinking to a minimum

I heard two sets of feet landing on the cool forest floor. The sun had long since set, and the fog had risen enough so it blocked my line of sight. The two footsteps were easy to decipher. One was deep and heavy, the other was the tread of a hunter.

'Come out, come out poppet' one whispered, not ten feet away from me

I shoved my hands over my mouth to keep from screaming. My eyes grew to such a size that any movement had my wand at the ready

'Come out, Mudblood and we promise that we won't hurt you'

The second of the voices dropped, and the first continued, his snarling voice as sharp as glass

'We will find you' he swore, his footsteps coinciding with my heartbeat so fast until they met; and burst out with a bloodcurdling scream

'The Dark Lord has service for you, Lily Evans.' He whispered, each and every syllable charged with power 'Service, which requires ability. You are the most skilled of all, and he calls to you. Answer to his bequest, Lily Evans. Agree, and you will be rewarded. Join us, and all you treasure will stay as it is. Not a hair on your head will be harmed. And you can marry James Potter as you wish'

The footsteps stopped suddenly, and the charm was torn from my body

'Hello Lily Evans.' Peter Pettigrew sneered, his wand at my throat 'Come to die'

…

-James-

'Stay under the cloak, Sirius'

He nodded against me, his breath hot on my back.

'Remus, keep close behind us, we need to find Lily'

Again, the two of them nodded.

I proceeded to a broken down playground. The swing-set and play area were completely obliterated. In the damp moonlight, a swing creaked in a non-existent breeze, and the lamplight shuddered. I raised my wand to a flickering battle stance, and behind me, the others did the same.

'She's here somewhere.'

Sirius cast a thin concealment charm, slipping silently from the cloak. He then pushed Remus to beside me.

'Where is she, Sirius?'

He didn't answer me.

'-out, Poppet.'

My head turned to the incoming voices, and I began to walk as fast as I could without being heard

'Come out Mudblood, and we promise that we won't hurt you'

My breath all but blew fire.

'At least we know that she's concealed' Remus whispered. I refused to agree.

Sirius pointed to the nearing clearing, in which two figures were visible. I moved in for the kill.

'Hold it, I think I hear Lily'

My breath caught in my throat.

'I will _never_ join you'

I pushed off the cloak, running to help Lily. It took all of Sirius and Remus' combined strength to keep me from killing them.

'Join, or die at your friends hands'

Lily's voice whimpered, before a scream hit the air

…

**Hah. Yes, I do love these cliff-hangers. Really keeps you on your toes, eh?**

**As for the sudden sneakiness, I was just watching Curse of the Black Pearl (Pirates?) and that one scene with Elizabeth and the pirates totally inspired me. Creepy, but in a creepy cool sorta way :)**

**I also want to say that we've passed 100 reviews! It was HpFan109! A zillion thanks to you, and your awesome review! **

**Please, please review! We need some feedback here people!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	40. Leave Me Lying Here

_I pushed off the cloak, running to help Lily. It took all of Sirius and Remus' combined strength to keep me from killing them._

'_Join, or die at your friends hands'_

_Lily's voice whimpered, before a scream hit the air._

…

_-_James-

I didn't hesitate to run this time, breaking all ranks with my friends. I rushed through the thick brush, cutting away thick branches with my wand. At last, I was at Lily's feet; and I pushed the cloak on her.

There were two figures there: both with black cloaks and masks. One had an air of royalty, but the other cowered in the damp light.

'Who do we have here?' the first snarled, pulling out a cold stone knife. 'Mudbloods?'

'No,' I said thickly, hearing footsteps behind me. If I wasn't mistaken, it was Sirius and Remus. 'Purebloods.'

The first leaned forward, a thick hood covering his face. A piece of curly black hair fell from the hood until only a mask was covering the proud face of Bellatrix Lestrange.

'You are not Pureblood!' she screamed 'YOU'RE ALL FILTHY MUDBLOODS!'

'No,' Sirius said, stepping forward 'None of us are Muggle-born'

Bellatrix formed a cruel smile with her knife. 'Oh, little baby Sirius! What a _pleasure_ it is to see you in one piece! Your mother will be _so_ upset to hear that you haven't died yet.'

Sirius rushed forward, but I held him back just in time. Bellatrix threw her head back and roared.

'The girl!' her second warned 'What happened to the girl?'

Bellatrix spun at her partner's words, and cast a simple charm on the closest area. Thankfully, it seemed as though Lily was out of range.

'Where is the girl, Bellatrix? WHERE IS THE GIRL?'

The Death Eaters scrambled, giving me that spare moment to say goodbye.

'Go,' I said, pushing Sirius and Remus back 'go find her, be safe.'

Sirius pushed me back, something of which he had never done.

'No! We're not leaving you! We'll do this together!'

'All done saying goodbyes?' she sneered, licking the blood off of her knife and flicking it with her tongue.

'What does he want from me?' I said ferociously, almost beating her to the run. 'WHAT DOES HE WANT, BELLATRIX?'

She pulled a look of surprise into a freezing smile.

'Allegiance' she whispered in my ear, putting her wand at my throat 'this and nothing more.'

'And if I was to agree-'

I heard struggling behind me; the unmistakable sound of a person breaking free.

And then Sirius was beside me, the lone Death Eater frozen on the leaves. He was hanging off my sleeve as a starving child.

'Don't do it, James. James, swear you won't!'

I shrugged him off. Remus looked at me with eyes wide open.

'What does he want with me, Bellatrix?'

Bellatrix didn't answer, but rather paced around me much like a panther on the prowl. Her step was bold as brass; her lips coiled in a cruel smile. She curled a knife around my throat. Remus stirred.

Bellatrix strode over to Remus and Sirius, who stirred against her very presence. Sirius carefully rushed his wand to his free hand, but Bellatrix took notice, and nearly shrieked in delight once she reached her partner.

'Here,' she announced, levitating the body to face 'Is the remembrance of your bloody betrayer'

The unconscious form stirred, dropping down his head. He groaned, and struggled against the remaining bands. Bellatrix ripped off his mask, and dropped him to the forest floor. His bloodless face turned to the moon.

His eyes opened.

The dying eyes of Peter Pettigrew.

…

Suddenly things happened very fast.

A cold female voice laughed in spite.

Two male voices screamed.

A pair of green eyes hid in the woods.

One did nothing in response.

If you guessed what happens to Peter, don't worry its coming.

The fourth Marauder rose to coughing, spluttering out great waves of blood. The two who screamed ran to my side.

'How dare-'

A crudely shaped wand pointed at my neck. The spiteful voice laughed again. Twice, this time.

'Now we mustn't have loose ends…'

I didn't dare move.

'Obliviate!'

And everything went black.

…

-Lily-

It didn't take me long to notice the boy.

He moved as he always had, his lips forming the smile that never met his eyes. But something was new; something I couldn't quite place.

The cloak.

The mask.

The knife torn from its freezing hinges.

Bellatrix Lestrange's knife tearing at the words, one after another:

Mudblood. Mudblood. Mudblood…

James stepping forward, the words flowing like rain from his mouth. Sirius and Remus coming to the rescue. James pushing them away.

James looking back in the bush. My fiancés smile that didn't call for another.

Bellatrix casting a wand in the Least's direction. The final Marauder rising to his last mocking salute.

I trusted you.

I trusted all of you.

Peter Pettigrew falling to the floor. The Death Eater casting an invisible ink spell: James and Remus and Sirius falling like corpses.

I screamed their names in silence.

Remus.

Peter.

Sirius.

James.

James. My James Potter.

Like clockwork, falling systematically into adjacent traps.

Lily.

The Lily that never became Potter.

I tore the cloak off my body, my nerves overriding the fear. I shot from the forest, and into the smoke that was a Marauder. Peter Pettigrew was a traitor. Peter was never ours. He was always a weakness yet to be sprung.

I solidified as a person in the red moonlight.

In the distance, a pale, white light shone from a lamppost. I leaned down and pressed sweet, white kisses on the foreheads of the survivors. All except James, he was the one I left for last.

I held fast to the swaying ground, and tugged my locket into my palm. It pulsed as my heartbeat bound in my chest. I opened it.

In a few moments, they would come.

In a few seconds, everything would be fine.

I lay down on the cool leaves, positioning myself in James' arms. He breathed into my hair, and I tugged at the ring.

The ring.

We had yet to be married.

But I had to, I had to do something. Something, it was very important. I had to, right now. Because I didn't bear to forget.

The Order came in a heartbeat. I clung to James' locket. The one that matched all those in the Rebellion. The locket that would've brought me home.

I felt a pair of arms clinging to my jumper, they wanted me to let go.

'Minerva,'

'Lily, Lily come here'

I didn't let go. Couldn't let the miracle die.

'Lily, we need you to come here. Love, we need you.'

I collapsed into a comfortable body, which compensated for the weight. The lips kissed my forehead, and another hug crashed on me.

'Dorea, let her go. Dor, she needs time…'

'No! I won't let my baby go again. Never again, you hear?'

Charlus Potter sighed, and his body picked me up in his arms. He brought me gently away.

My mother sobbed 'Not like James...'

She buried her face in his curls. The other members of the Order crept past the lifeless bodies.

'Lily,' Dumbledore said, conjuring a bed for me to lay on 'Lily, we need to know what happened. I'm… so sorry.'

I shuddered, refusing to relive that horrid experience.

Dumbledore didn't leave.

Another joined my bedside.

'Albus, is she alright?'

He didn't answer.

'Lily…'

The names, again. A bitter chant in my head.

'Lily what happened?'

'I will have none of this!' Dorea shouted, pushing herself to my side. 'My baby needs me. Lily needs me.'

Dumbledore shook his head slowly. Minerva McGonagall let a bitter tear fall on my cheek.

'Again, why again?'

The silence didn't answer.

'It's happened, hasn't it?'

Charlus Potter grabbed my hand.

'Sir?'

Dumbledore's eyes rose to standing, facing an unknown member.

'Sir, they're merely asleep!'

'But why, I wonder.' The headmaster mused 'Why asleep when you can kill?'

Why asleep when you can kill?

…

-Minerva McGonagall-

The Headmaster brought me privately to a quiet spot. Far away from the tears and bodies. Asleep or no.

'Why, Albus?' I asked

Dumbledore sighed.

'She's seen too much. Too much, too soon. Much better if she didn't remember…'

'You're speaking insanity, she's a student!'

He rose to face me 'What would you have, to live with those memories? No, it'll only be now. She's sure to remember everything else'

'Are you quite sure?'

He shook his head

'No, but it's the best we have'

I nodded slowly

'And the others?'

'Already done.' He held up a frail hair to the light 'Bellatrix Lestrange has thought ahead.'

'Death Eaters'

He didn't move, staring somewhere off into the distance 'Yes'

'When will it end, Albus? We can't keep going on like this.'

'All in due time. But I believe some restrictions are in order.'

'I quite agree'

Albus shook his head 'I'm sorry, Minerva. I truly am.'

He left.

And I stayed alone.

…

-Lily-

I held James' hand as they woke him up.

His eyes blinked into existence, his face curled up in fright.

'Gone'

'No.'

'Bella-'

I shook my head. 'She's gone, James. I'm here.'

He managed a weak smile

'Hey, Lils'

I smiled

James touched my hand, bringing it to his lips

Why me?

Why me and not him?

Why?

…

**Yes, yet another plot chapter! Joy is buzz kill, I know. But it had to happen. They have to defy Voldemort three times. **

**Thanks for reading, and again; please, please review!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	41. For Good

-THE SCENE-

A boy, perhaps sixteen years old, walking alone in the seventh floor corridor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He is cold, and very much alone.

This boy is looking for something.

…

Severus Snape has never felt more alone.

He had been pacing the grounds of Hogwarts for hours. It wasn't as if he had a home to go to: his parents are both dead, not like it mattered. They hadn't loved him anymore living than dead.

It was Lily Evans now that he wanted most to talk to. Lily _Evans_, not Potter. He couldn't bear to think of it any other way.

Yes, he had heard that they were engaged. This was important, very important, as what better way to capture the Mud- _Muggle-borns_ if you had one in the Order to hold as bait? It was brilliant, if not harmful, knowing how much they had to risk.

Take last night. Bellatrix Lestrange and Peter Pettigrew were assigned a task: capture the Potter boy, and if possible- rid the lot. Neither of them looked pleased with the task of going together, but the Dark Lord insisted. Something about proving himself, he guessed.

He shouldn't be talking. He had something even more gruesome to accomplish.

How does one rid Hogwarts of Muggle-borns? Where do you even begin? Do you have steps to follow, an ultimate plan to accomplish? What strings could he pull, what walls could he topple?

Dumbledore.

That was all the Dark Lord said. Rid Hogwarts of the initiator and like refugees, the people will go running.

He'd heard of the Basilisk, of course; and the Chamber of Secrets. But that wouldn't do. That would require advance planning. The heir of Slytherin isn't one to be about; especially in this present situation. Not with a war going on.

Severus balled his fists and faced the barren wall. There was nothing special about it, but he knew what hid behind its door. He had discovered the Room's secrets in fifth year, sneaking about the castle in the dark of night. When he found the Mirror, Snape pushed everything back but this. Because what he saw was what he had always wanted. I show not your face…

'But your heart's desire!' He whispered with a smile. The Mirror of Erised. Of course he knew what it was, he had learned of its properties in first year, but he never thought that he'd actually _find it_. It was lost, or rather, hidden in Hogwarts castle after all this time.

Severus walked past the room three times, on each occasion wishing for nothing more than his heart's desire. On the forth walk past, door- black as pitch- creaked to opening. He walked in purposefully, facing the mirror that he had seen only once before.

Snape turned the white sheet on end, facing the mirror in a room of Things. He walked forward, expecting nothing but the best.

What he saw agreed with him.

Snape saw himself, sullen; as always, but once he took a step, another figure protruded in the glass. It was Lily Evans, and she walked towards him; kissing his cheek as if they were still friends. As if he hadn't said it. As if everything was going to be okay.

He looked down in the glass, and noticed something else: a medal, a Merlin First Class. Lily slipped something in the mirror-he's hand. It was a ring, her ring; from Lily and Severus' wedding. Lily slipped up her sleeve, to reveal no Mudblood scar. It was gone! Lily had forgiven him.

Severus must've been there for hours, soaking up the memory that never came to be.

…

-James-

'-MES CHARLUS POTTER, YOU ARE IN _SO_ MUCH TROUBLE! YOU'RE LUCKY THAT YOU DIDN'T GET KILLED! THERE ARE DEATH EATERS OUT THERE! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU? AND IF _THAT_ WASN'T BAD ENOUGH, YOU DRAGGED YOUR FRIENDS AND BLOODY _FIANCÉ_ INTO THIS TOO! WHY _CAN'T YOU DO AS YOUR TOLD?'_

I shook my head, trying to rid my vision of my mother's screaming. Unfortunately, it seemed as though this was reality.

'Mum, I-'

'I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! YOU ALMOST GOT OUR COVER BLOWN! DO YOU KNOW HOW _SERIOUS_ THIS IS? THE _AURORS_ ARE HERE! YOU'RE LUCKY THAT LILY KEPT HER MIND! SHE'S THE ONE WHO SAVED YOU! AGAIN!'

I sat up, rolling my head back and forth. I cringed at the light, trying to remember where I was.

'Mum,' I questioned, my voice hanging on end 'Mum, where are the others?'

My mother opened her mouth, and then shut it, looking flustered and confused. My father walked into view, helping me up. I rose to standing

'Dad, what happened?'

My father suddenly looked much older. His shoulders sagged forward, and his eyes drooped.

'Son, you need to be aware of what's happening!' he pleaded in a whisper, leading me away from mum 'it's a war! You can't assume that running off like that is safe!'

I sighed 'Dad, where are the others?'

He turned to face me

'James, do you know where you are?'

My eyes went wide. I had absolutely no idea where I was.

Looking around, I couldn't help but notice the whiteness of it all; the plain walls, pale people…

I was in a hospital?

Wait hospital. I got in a skirmish, right? So being in a hospital makes sense. But what hospital? Never mind, I thought. There is only one hospital in wizarding Britain.

'St. Mungo's, right?'

He nodded slowly. It took me a minute to put the pieces together

'Sirius, Remus. Lily! Dad, what happened to Lily?'

He held me back, firmly holding my shoulders at arm's length.

'They're all fine. Lily's with your mum, but Remus and Sirius are in the memory department. You were too, as of not ten minutes ago. Everything's going to be okay, James. Dumbledore himself came to help the healers. What does that tell you?'

I sighed deeply 'what all happened?'

'That's the funny part, James. No one but Lily knows. Your memories were all altered, including hers, but Dumbledore was the one who did it. What we do know is rather spotty I'm afraid…'

A gruff head stuck out a door 'He's awake.'

He didn't seem to take this as a question.

My father nodded, pushing me towards to voice. I, however, was hesitant to proceed.

'Who _is_ that?'

'Mad- that is, Alastor Moody, the Auror. He got in a… how shall I put this? _Skirmish_ as they say. He'll tell you the rest'

I hesitated

'Why can't I see the others?'

'Go see Moody, he'll explain everything'

I walked slowly to the third door on the left, hesitant to look at what could be left of the great Auror

'Hurry up, now Potter. Don't have all day'

I hurried, taking my place at his bedside chair.

Of all things, he didn't look too bad. One of his eyes was covered with white dressings, and a bloody piece of nose was missing. From torso down he was wrapped in thick blankets, so any other obscurities were held out of view.

'What happened to you?' he asked me, turning a blue ball in his hand 'shame they let you out'

'I could say the same'

He didn't laugh, but only leaned towards me in the crowded room.

'What happened, Potter? What happened in that forest? They've all been dyin' to hear, but I want to hear it from you. Understand?'

I nodded feverishly, my hands held up in defence. His beady eye stared me down

'Good,' he muttered 'being truthful'

I looked at him in disbelief 'And you knew that-'

'Doesn't matter now, does it? But Bellatrix Lestrange and some other Death Eater attacked. That's all Evans would say. Your blasted mother hasn't let her out of sight since'

'My father said something about memories. I-I can't remember the attack, but everything else is fine. If my mind got wiped, how would I only be missing that?'

'You're underestimating her, Potter. That's deadly,' he motioned to his leg 'I would know'

'She, did _that_?'

'Selective memories are a tricky branch of magic. Your blasted lucky we came so fast, otherwise you wouldn't know your name if we spelled it out for yeh'

My mother's head poked in the doorway

'James, the others can see you now'

I rushed to the door, past my mother and into the adjacent room, searching for anyone familiar. Finally, after two rooms of no's, I spotted the lot of them.

'James!' Lily sighed, rushing into my arms 'I was so scared that we lost you!'

'Me?' I laughed 'it was you that I was worried about'

She nuzzled her face into my chest 'please don't leave me again'

'I won't' I said firmly 'I promise'

'Not that this isn't great and all,' Sirius brought up, his voice belittled by his bedridden form 'but Lily, I have to steal my best friend back, if you please.'

She nodded, and I let her go, walking between Remus and Sirius' beds

'What happened?' Remus asked, looking more frightened than I had ever seen him.

'Bellatrix Lestrange. That's what happened.'

'Just her?' Remus asked

'There had to be more.' Sirius said quietly 'she isn't one to go alone. You sure there weren't others?'

'There was another, but he was never named. Doesn't matter, I suppose. They didn't do anything'

'Didn't do anything?' Lily burst out 'they wiped our memories!'

'Technically, you have Dumbledore to thank for that-'

'Like it matters!'

I shook my head. Perhaps this war wouldn't change us. Maybe everything would be okay. If this was life, I was fine with it.

This, and everything would be okay

…

**Yes, so due to lack of response in the last chapter, I was pretty hesitant to upload this. Please, please review, it could most definitely make not only the writing better, but the upload faster.**

**Thanks again,**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	42. Master of Death

**I want to take this time to thank each and every one of my reviewers. You guys are amazing, and I'll put the most common reviewers:**

**IWishIWasAWeasley- your reviews are amazing, as is your advice. And to your last review, yes, that pretty much covers it :)**

**HpFan109- again, amazing. Your help and advice is always appreciated**

**skaterofthebooks- if nothing else, thanks for sticking with me, **

**.- many thanks, your receptions and help is awesome to read:)**

**Stunningfire-Thanks, your reviews are always a joy to find**

**and anon, or () or whatever else you go by- yes, I know. I've been working on it. But this isn't a novel, (although its great practice) and every chapter is no more than a small piece in a ginormus puzzle**

**And to everyone else, I'm just looking at the most recent page, so don't fret! I love your reviews too.**

**-Silence Nevermore**

-Bellatrix Lestrange-

'You failed me, Bella'

I shrunk back in shame, letting my fear show for the first time in my life. I had failed. Not only just the mission, but I had failed _him_. My lover, my only true attraction.

'Milord, if I may?'

Lucius Malfoy rose to standing, his hands folded tightly behind his back.

'Don't you think it more, how shall I put it? _Effective_ to send more experienced followers to the front lines?'

I stood quickly, slamming my knife only millimeters from his fingers

'MORE _EXPERIANCED_, MALFOY? More experienced than _ME?_ I am the _BEST _of the _BEST! _YOU'RE LUCKY TO EVEN _BE_ ONE IN THE DARK LORDS ARMY!'

'Did you again deceive me, Lucius? Or did you succeed in the mission I set for you?'

He sat down quickly, his façade as pristine as always. Oh, how I'd run him through if he wasn't Pure-blood…

'Yes, Milord.'

Voldemort sneered, turning his eyes down the table.

'You will prove most useful, Dolohov.' He said quietly 'But the Order of the Phoenix must end. They have too many at their command'

I looked down the table, flicking my eyes on Antonin Dolohov, who was watching with mild interest. Once the Dark Lord fixed his eyes on him, however, his knees all but buckled under the weight.

'I understand, Milord.'

Voldemort nodded. I sat forward expectantly.

'Muggles are destroying the wizarding race. Their blood is filthy; the Mudbloods must go. Severus-'

'I have a plan, Milord.' Snape said, his expression never changing 'a plan carry out what you have asked of me'

'Yes, continue.'

'To rid a nest of its bees, on needs to rid the hive of its queen. To get rid of a queen, of course, is tricky business. No one can know.'

'Albus Dumbledore, Severus, is a challenge no one but you can complete.'

'Yes, Milord.'

Voldemort sneered at the table, his very presence halting all but yes's at my aunt's home. Number 12 Grimmauld Place, to be exact.

'As some of you may have noticed, we have a new-_ member_ with us tonight. A Gryffindor, at that. Peter Pettigrew.'

I noticed Snape look forward with an expression that was more than mildly interested. A boy walked through the doors, his form quaking in fear. He had the seat of least honor, not even at the head table. He was forced to stand at Voldemort's feet

'Traitor!'

'Gryffindor spiessss!'

'Milord, he is _nothing_ compared to you'

'Surely, all you have said is true.' The head of the table said, not even acknowledging the person on his left 'But this boy is a certain member of the Order of the Phoenix. Am I correct?'

The boy stumbled with his words, using his expression to convey the message I already knew. I slammed my words and knife into his hand with a sickening slap.

'ANSWER HIM!' I screamed

'Now, now, Bella. We mustn't be spiteful'

I sneered at my sister, who had her eyes quaking in unspoken fear 'he can't be trusted!'

'I agree,' said a voice, walking in prudently

Voldemort clasped his fingers together, looking me straight in the eye

'Ah, I knew you would return, Regulus Black'

…

-Lily-

'Careful, now'

I nodded, slipping the jumper off my right arm. The scar was burning again.

James turned to look at me, his hazel eyes burning holes into mine.

'How long has it been like this, Lils?'

I cringed as he finally removed the infernal thing, folding it on the chair

'Just-just a few days'

He shook his head 'it wouldn't hurt like this if it was just a few days old. Come on, let me look.'

I held out my arm, letting the puckered skin catch the air. James gasped at the sight.

'I thought you were taking care of that!' he exclaimed

I took a moment to answer, bringing my attention to the porch; the glass in my hand. Anything but the scar and James' face.

'I have been. It just got hurt in the attack.'

'Attack? There was no attack.'

I shook my head 'that night, after Dumbledore wiped my memory, there was a fight. Bellatrix and some other Death Eaters came back, the Order resisted and something happened. That was all your mother would tell me.'

He took my arm gently, bringing out his wand. I resisted again.

'No, let's just-just give it some air. My Mum always said-'

It took me a second to realize what I had done. I shook away the thought, getting up hastily, walking away from the porch before I would burst out crying. Already my throat was restricting.

'LILY! Lils, please come back!'

I ran past a stunned Sirius and Remus, who jumped out of the way just in time. I past Mr. Potter on the sofa and Mrs. Potter in the kitchen, who both had eyes wide open. I collapsed into my bed in tears, finally regretting the day that I forgot to say goodbye.

…

-Regulus-

I looked out the window, letting the subtle breeze in. I was waiting for a notice.

The Dark Lord wished to speak with me, if only he'd send the bloody message.

It was cold in Number 12 Grimmauld Place, as it always was. I summoned a fire in the hearth, binding my robes even tighter around my body.

Sirius.

Blimey, I missed him. I haven't seen my older brother in months. He was, as I was informed, living at Potter Manor for the summer. He hadn't told me- he didn't take the time to warn his only brother. In a way, I was proud of him. He had the means to be brave, courageous; to stand up to my mother and have his name blasted off the tree. As my mother said, he and Andromeda were bad eggs- the Blacks that weren't nearly as black as the rest of us.

For the time being, I was hiding from the last meeting. My room was my place of refuge, somewhere that his red eyes couldn't find me.

Personally, I never understood my mother's motives. Staying pure? What would that accomplish? It didn't make us any better than half-bloods, Mud… _Muggle Borns_ either. We were just… different. Perhaps that's why she did it, to be different.

Technically speaking, I had yet to become a Death Eater, as I was in the same place as Snape and that Pettigrew fellow. We had to prove ourselves- well, not so much me; I was already in the place as Bellatrix and Narcissa said. At least I had them, if nothing else.

'I've been meaning to speak with you, Black'

I spun in my closely guarded chair, bringing my wand to my hand: a living skeleton was towered above me.

'Yes, Milord.'

He hadn't said a word.

But I knew it was required.

The Dark Lord exited the house, slamming the gate behind him. I followed somewhat similarly, although I took more care walking the worn path.

At the end of the watery lane, Voldemort vanished.

Thankfully, I knew where I was to go. The graveyard, the one where his first murder victims lay.

After I Apparated, I walked quietly to the middle of the grove; kneeling at Voldemort's feet.

'You are undeserving, Black.'

I nodded, walking closely behind Lord Voldemort, who had his wand clasped tightly in his hands.

'What has happened, Black, that a man can become immortal?'

I didn't say a word letting him lead me through the dank rows, upon closer observation, I noticed Tom Riddle Seniors headstone. Voldemort spat on it; then blasted it to pieces.

'Death Eaters, Milord?'

Voldemort looked at me much like a snake would at prey. His skeletal fingers locked on a single object within his cloak. He held it up to the moonlight,

'Do you know what this is?'

'No, Milord.' I said quickly

He eluded the object in smoke, hovering it in the white light.

'Infected, poisoned. Mudbloods, Regulus Black, it's the Mudbloods ruining us all. Just Mudbloods and Mirrors.'

I chose to not say a word.

'Mirrors,' he repeated 'What could murder like a reflection you wouldn't wish to see?'

'Reflections?' I said quietly 'the dead, you mean. Memories?'

His red eyes burned through the cracked mirror in his hand. A bloody scream tore through the air. He laughed in the moonlight, burning his eyes through the reflections body.

He walked past me, placing the mirror on a stone person. In whole, the mirror seemed to be the thing killing him.

'I am the Master of Death, Regulus. No one but I can live forever.'

…

**Yes, so a Regulus chapter. Sorry, but this was another Plot filler. Had to happen eventually. **

**To clear things up, Regulus has been hiding in Grimmauld Place for some time, Death Eaters had been trying to recruit him for ages, but he took time to agree. His parents were out of the house, (helping Voldemort in some obscure way) and Voldemort himself had recruited him, although Bellatrix and Narcissa helped. **

**My thanks to all of those who've read and reviewed my story! You guys are freakin amazing, I couldn't be more grateful :)**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	43. Just Close Your Eyes

_-ANOTHER HELPFUL SCENE IMAGE-_

_A back alley, dark and dismal with more rats than occupants. There are wanted posts of known Death Eaters and dead Muggles burning in a pile. Four people are crowded among it; two wizards, a werewolf, and a woman: a woman with a heavy jaw and no conscience. A piece of parchment, crinkled, and burned on one side; is lying on the ground nearby, flapping in a non-existent breeze. A cloaked figure walks past, picking it up as he goes. The others don't notice._

_There are words on that parchment._

…

-Lucius Malfoy-

'Higher, I SAID _HIGHER!'_

I set my jaw, standing prudently beside my sister-in-law. They had been murdered only moments before. In a word, Ms. Lestrange wanted her own personal bloodbath. She cackled loudly, stooping down to capture a slice of blood on her wand.

'Why have you brought us here, Bellatrix?'

She turned to me, an elated look in her eyes. For all I knew, this was the best of her day.

'To do the Dark Lords bidding, whatever else?' she whispered 'Muggles are the reason that were in this sorry state, _Lucius_. You've chosen the winning side for a first.'

I nodded curtly, setting my hands beside my back as Yaxley and Greyback shoved yet another dying Muggle on the fire. She shrieked and resisted, but she didn't have a chance. A wayward flame licked her up, and she was consumed in seconds.

…

-Sirius-

'Who do you reckon that is?'

I shrugged at Remus, who was pointing aimlessly at the horizon. I climbed higher on the roof tiles. In other words, Mrs. Potter had confiscated our brooms.

'Cause, well, if it was someone spotty, we wouldn't be able to even see them before the Sneakascopes went off!'

I looked at Remus oddly, cocking my head before climbing to where James and Lily were.

'What?' Remus demanded.

'Oh come on, Moony.' James said cheekily 'We're all waiting.'

Remus smiled, taking his time to reach the climax of the roof.

It was a beautiful night, with clouds dabbed here and there on the way to the moon. Lily opened up a basket, revealing a picnic of sorts. She laughed as James stuffed himself on Treacle Tart, not noticing the dirty looks she was giving him. She nodded to the basket, and the four of us ate a special little midnight snack. We had just snuck out. Mrs. Potter still didn't know. We intended to keep it that way.

'Beautiful, isn't it?' Lily murmured, bringing her knees to her chin 'we didn't have a view like this back home.'

James cast a sideways look in her direction, but then relaxed when her expression didn't change.

'Really, mate.' I said quickly 'We should tell your parents. He's only a few miles off now! That person shouldn't be there!'

James suddenly looked concerned, and brought out his wand. Just before he could conjure his Patronus, Lily put her hand on his.

'Hey,' she said softly 'let me.'

She rummaged through her robes, finally bringing out the familiar Willow wand. She murmured the incantation, and a huge shape bounded onto the rooftop.

If I wasn't mistaken, it was-

'A doe?' James asked, looking confused 'I thought your Patronus was a hare!'

'It was,' she said, watching it prance on the tiles 'but it changed a couple of months ago'

'But mine's a-'

'Stag, I know. You've showed me enough times.'

'I mean that much to you?' James sounded astonished

Lily smiled sweetly 'I'm getting married to you James; you'd better hope I care about you'

I laughed 'You really are daft, mate.'

Lily extinguished her Patronus, and the silvery smoke faded in the wind.

Remus shook his head 'Come on, we should be able to get back in through James' window'

The others nodded, and I led the way down the tiles, being cautious of the rising winds. Oh, if only I had my broom!

I crawled down the roof to the north-eastern corner and ducked down to jump through the window. One after another, the other three popped in. I poked my head down the hall- James' parents hadn't heard a thing.

James walked past me, intent on reaching his parents. It all showed in his expression. He didn't want that person to hurt us.

'Go on now,' I said, pushing him forward as he stopped 'he's only about a mile away by this point. James, go.'

He nodded, treading softly down the hall. I heard him walk in, tell them what was going on, and his parents rush past him into James' room where we were.

'How long have they been there?' Mr. Potter asked, looking threatening even in an old housecoat 'did you hear the Caterwalling charms go off?'

'No, sir.' I said. I hadn't called him sir since he retired. He hadn't frightened me so much since.

'Not the Anti-Intruder? Or the Cave Inimicum? They can't know where the house even is!'

The others looked nervously at each other. I went to stand by James, who was shaking. Remus had his arm around Lily.

'James, Sirius, come with me.' he said feverishly, motioning to the open window. He stopped, his eyes a little calmer.

'Come to think of it, Remus, you too. Dor and Lily can hold the house.'

…

-Dorea-

People were coming? What could that mean? I guess they could be friendly; perhaps just coming by? No, what was I _thinking?_ It's the middle of a war! People don't just _stop by_ anymore. But the charms didn't go off...

Maybe it was an order member, Dumbledore? No, it was as easy picturing the Headmaster on a broom as Peter on the Dark Side. Perhaps a friend from school?

'Mrs. Potter?'

I turned about, seeing Lily and the House Elf sitting on the bed together. It was hard to decipher who was the most frightened.

I tucked my robes around myself tighter, igniting a fire in the hearth. Lily shivered.

'Who was that, Mrs. Potter?'

I didn't say anything, raising my wand to the ceiling. A few more charms couldn't hurt. _Protega Maxima. Fianto Duri. Repello Inimicum-_

'It isn't Death Eaters, right? Right? Tell me it isn't, Mum.'

I froze, not daring to turn. Lily had called me Mum. But… she didn't have a Mum anymore. But I didn't dare lie to such a frantic girl.

'Lily?' I said, sitting next to her on the bed 'Lily, everything's going to be alright. James and Sirius and Remus are out there. Charlus was an Auror. It's probably just a visitor!'

She shook her head

'James didn't act like it was a visitor. He looked scared, like he did when my Mum died. This person isn't a friend.'

'Don't say that!' I exclaimed with non-existent enthusiasm 'they haven't sent word, how do you know that! You mustn't think the worst!'

_Speak for yourself_

I lay her on the bed, smoothing back her hair and wiping away her tears. She sobbed silently into the sheets.

'What if I…' she burst out 'what if everything doesn't end up okay? What if we don't even live to see the end? What if-'

'No more guessing.' I said firmly 'I know one thing that will happen and that's sleep. Just close your eyes, we'll be alright'

She shook her head again and again, moving about feverishly in James' blue sheets. She didn't settle down for nearly an hour later. Even then, I didn't dare leave her bedside.

How unfair. How unfair that a girl has to rush her wedding to better suit a war. How awful that she has to worry about her friends dying more than finishing school. How cruel that she has to sit by as her life comes crashing down on her. Oh, Lily. Oh my baby…

…

-James-

Once the four of us reached the rooftop, the figure was nearing a half-mile away.

'Dad?'

He didn't give any sign that he had heard me, moving about the place cautiously

'Dad? What's going on?'

He came back suddenly, grasping my shoulders.

'Boys, this isn't a joke. This could be a Death Eater. You could be killed if you don't keep your head. I need you to fight if needed. Understand me?'

We all nodded, and I grasped my wand tightly.

Quarter-mile. Five hundred feet. Three hundred…

'Boys, get down! The cloak, son. GET THE CLOAK!'

I numbly grabbed my invisibility cloak, flinging it over the three of us. We watched full of fear as a cloaked person flew towards the house, just narrowly passing the tiles. If you listened carefully, the person was speaking.

'No, Sirius, no!'

Sirius?

My best mate looked at me in horror, because he recognized the voice too.

One that I had heard gloating over Quidditch, being in the Slug Club, being a member of the most prestigious Pure-Blood family in the country.

I heard the fading voice of Regulus Black.

…

Once he had retreated, I called off the cloak, and we sat shivering in the moonlight.

'Here,' Remus said, walking towards us 'he dropped this.'

Sirius grasped it in his unsteady hands, reading the words hastily. He then balled it up, and threw it in the chimney. He looked so heartbroken that I couldn't bring myself to say anything. What could you tell a person who had just lost their little brother?

'Mate, is everything okay?'

He shook his head, putting his fists in his hair, pulling it out with a sigh.

'No, everything is _not_ okay. My brother is a Death Eater. There, I said it. Happy?'

I sat next to him, letting him know that I was here 'that doesn't make me happy.'

'What am I supposed to do, James? What am I supposed to do?'

What was he supposed to do?

…

We climbed back through the window, taking care to be quiet. Muffliato only went so far…

'What was that spell you used?' Remus whispered, snaking past Lily and my Mum 'I don't recognise it.'

'Muffliato.' I answered 'Lily taught it to me.'

He nodded, walking past me to his room. We had said goodnight outside.

Sirius tried to rush past me as well, but he didn't manage without bursting out in tears. I tried to follow, but my father stopped me, looking much older than I had ever seen him. He took my shoulder, walking towards Sirius' room.

Lily.

How did I almost forget about her?

'Mum?' I whispered, walking back into my room 'Mum, how's, Lils?'

She shrugged, looking tired and sad; her hand was gripping my fiancés white one. She moaned something in her sleep. Mum smiled sadly, offering me her chair.

'Just this once,' She kissed Lily's forehead, and walked from the room 'take care of her, James'

I nodded slowly, watching my mother retreat down the hall. I took Lily's hand, joining her under the sheets. She shivered, resting her head on my chest. I sighed softly.

'I love you, Lils. Goodnight.'

…

**There's a nice long chapter! I hope you liked it! **

**Please, please review! You have no idea how much I love them!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	44. Nothing to Remember

**September 14****th**** 1978.**

**-The last Death Eater attack results:**

**Fourteen dead; thirty-seven blown from mind and forty-two bloodied beyond healing.**

**-Tally of Order of the Phoenix to Death Eaters:**

**Fourteen hundred, nine hundred and sixty four to an even twenty thousand.**

**-Regulus Black hasn't been heard of in months.**

**-Lily's Mudblood scar was burning again.**

**-This date is also exactly one year and three weeks until the wedding**

**This is where the story begins.**

-Albus Dumbledore-

'What has happened, Albus?'

I sighed, placating my attention with my Deluminator and a rather large packet of Raspberry Drops. Anything but the fact that twenty students had been robbed of their parents.

'Muggles. Voldemort has taken to blood traitors and Muggles in the worst sense possible.'

Minerva sighed in her sincerity, placing her head in her hands.

'The students, are the students in danger, Headmaster? You can't expect to close Hogwarts, they'd be far better off here.'

I smiled into the air for the first time in months. I must admit, it was the one thing this war had forgotten to steal.

'Yes, I quite agree with you. Security, however, may have to be enhanced.'

She nodded, preparing her wand even now, here, in my office. I chuckled softly.

'I think that it's high time for an Order meeting, Minerva. The others must know what we're planning.'

A sudden rapping at the door interrupted my thoughts. Fawkes shrieked softly, his red plumage on end. I stood suddenly, hiding the Elder Wand at my back.

'Come in.'

The heavy door creaked open, and a figure spilled across the threshold. The first of the two left suddenly, and the door flew back to locked. Minerva gasped suddenly, hearing the Sneakascopes in high alert.

'Albus!' she exclaimed, rushing to the figures side, a deep furrow in her brow 'Albus, he's not breathing!'

I sat down on the floor beside Minerva, letting the boy's eyes catch our sight. He was young, perhaps in second or third year, but I didn't recognize him. His hair was matted and bloody, his brilliant grey eyes lolled back in his head. He had a starburst of blood erupting from his left hip, and less significant cuts most everywhere else. This boy may have been gone for ages,

Just as I had pulled out my wand, beginning an internal diagnostic, Fawkes landed beside me; creeping slowly towards the invalid. He got so close that his pearly white teardrops glistened on the boys wound, his head, and his eyes: and all was well within moments.

'Many thanks, Fawkes.'

My bird managed what could interpreted as a smile, flying happily back to his perch. Minerva, on the other hand, was looking rather pale and nervous.

'Vulnera Sanentur,' I said internally, positioning my wand to the area of need 'Episkey, Teregeo.'

Instantly, the wounds that weren't fully capacated to healing knit together like a furrowed brow. It was a shame. I complete, wasted shame.

'Alive.' She sighed, looking more exhausted than I have ever seen her, settling the boy on a summoned cot. 'Thank the heavens, this boy is alive!'

I smiled, allowing her mothering instincts to come to effect; watching her place the boy lovingly onto the sheets. After she was sure he was safe, she adjusted her robes; apperating instantly.

I peered down at the boy, watching his chest rise and fall. What a miracle, why had I never realized? What is a man without a bounding heart and the will to live? Who was I, to believe any different?

No, I was not the Master of Death; no matter how much I wanted to believe it was true. No matter how many Hallows or Horcruxes I could find. I feared endings; just as one would fear beginnings. Aberforth was right; this wasn't for the Greater Good, this was for me.

With a crack, Minerva and another appeared in a wake; and her second burst to the boys bedside, her curly red hair bouncing behind her.

'Molly, do make sure he's alright,' I heard Minerva say, readying her wand 'the Order will be here soon'

The mother nodded, summoning objects to her aid.

Minerva set her wand on end, summoning Order members and sending Patronus messages. I soon joined her, letting the boy remain unconscious until the pain could subside. This boy would be in good hands. Molly Weasley was nothing if not a mother.

The hearth suddenly roared green; spitting people out onto my carpet. Moody, Mary McDonald, Daedalus Diggle, Dorcas Meadowes… far too many to count. But once completed, there was more than thirty in bound attendance.

'Thank you for coming at this hour, all of you, but we have much to discuss. Alastor, if you please-'

Before I could say another word, a high table sprung from the air, with enough seats for all. He spun his wand and the room expanded, leaving room for all to move freely.

'Thank you.' I said, sitting at the most senior seat 'tonight we have pressing issues, as a Muggle Born student has been attacked.'

A collective gasp rose as Molly turned, giving her husband a sad smile. She then went back to mopping the boys steaming forehead.

'Lord Voldemort-'I paused as the people sneered 'has a master plan. Rid the wizarding world of Muggle-borns and Mudbloods, Blood traitors and Muggles. Nothing is safe anymore. Aurors, I am relaying to you what you must tell the Head. As he is, the Minister must know of our actions. He, if no one else, is someone we can trust.'

'And our allies, Albus?'

I sighed in my old friends words.

'Pick your friends as carefully as you would your last words, Elphias. If nothing else, this is absolute.'

He grunted, picking himself a flask from his robes; taking a generous amount into consideration.

'But Dumbledore-'

'_What _is it, Dung?' Emmaline Vance sneered 'another treaty that you've picked from the Ministry?'

He pulled a wide, greasy smile 'oh, nothing of the sort. But sir, I really must say-'

'Nip it, Mundungus!' Alastor snapped, his newly implanted eyes pushing silence across the room. He scanned it slowly, landing on a particular wizard.

'Bones, any news?'

Edgar shut his eyes, allowing his memory to take charge.

'Twenty-seven Dark Marks, fourteen dead and five full-on attacks. My Aurors are spread thin, Dumbledore.'

I nodded, allowing a small argument to form. But I was far too distant to do anything about it. This may be the end: and this time, there was absolutely nothing I could do to change that.

…

-James-

I was completely and hopelessly in love with Lily Evans.

We had been at this grove for hours, simply letting an afternoon fall as it pleases.

It must've been the best day of my life.

I sat against a tree trunk, letting her lay across my lap; fully prepared to take an afternoon snooze. I took to fiddling with her hair, allowing it to slip, slide across my fingers. I could take time to describe it, but really, you see it once and never forget.

'Why, why why why…'

I sat up, alerting the birds in the trees. I softly whispered her name, hoping that she hadn't had another nightmare. It was bad enough with the war, but today was also an important one. Today, this day exactly one year ago, was the hour that her mother died. We had had a small service, but my Lily was devastated.

Petunia didn't show until we left, sneering in her face; blaming the death on Lily.

I awoke her gently, letting her rise as she was stronger. I smiled weakly when she opened her eyes.

'Why, Lily?'

She let her shoulders droop, tucking her body into mine. She fit perfectly snuggled up in my arms; safe and happy, just as I wanted her to be.

'I had the Dream again.'

'The same?'

'Yes.'

'Bloody hell'

She shivered, not bearing to speak of it. How could she? This dream was killing her.

In contents, the images were short; but painful. It showed Petunia, her parents and I, mocking her as she fell. Her scar, screaming and laughing as bitterly as Bellatrix Lestrange and her wand snapped; shut in a cell until she was driven mad.

The river crashed on the bank.

The clouds shivered in the trees.

The Dark Lord was preparing for an attack.

The Good wasn't nearly as powerful as the Bad this time.

That's the problem with heroes; you don't always get a happy ending. Sometimes you get killed before you can help.

I couldn't bear to lose her now. Not this, not here. Not when her sanity and life was hanging in the balance, no. We will fight, and we will win.

Today I choose to fight till the end.

…

**Yeah, so today, I woke up (far too early, may I add) and was welcomed by a good foot of soggy snow. Well, welcome to Canada in April.**

**On the important track, sorry about the gap in-between updates, science is going out of its way to murder me.**

**My thanks to those reviewed last chapter, HpFan109 and Go Marauders and Lily. You guys are why I update ;)**

**What did you like? What was your favourite line? Who should show up more often?**

**Tell me in a review or PM, I want to know what you guys think :)**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	45. Expressions

-ANOTHER SMALL FACT-

In the end, it isn't walking through a graveyard that's terrifying. Not the ghouls in the closet or the monsters under the bed. It's walking into a warzone knowing that that could've been you. It's seeing a friend, dead, lying face up. It's the faces; the expressions. Yes, it's the recognition that bleeds.

…

I am absolute

**I am alone**

I can't bear to push any farther

**I couldn't bear to lose you again**

So many have gone already,

**The Prewetts.**

The Bones

**The children without mothers,**

The husbands without lovers.

**But we'll take care of you**

You won't always be there to protect me

**Seventh year rolls around,**

And our last summer is over.

**The last time we pack our trunks,**

The final time we'll board the train.

**We sit in a compartment together**

Us: the Marauders and Lily.

**Your friends seem to accept me at last.**

My friends wouldn't dare disappoint me.

**Peter is back again**

His mother wasn't ill after all

**But we never took heed**

He was too weak to become a coward

**A letter came for us in that train**

Hogwarts; a seal from the Headmaster

**I looked at you hesitantly**

You smiled and opened it roughly

**Heads?**

Why would he pick us?

**There were so many others, I wasn't even a Prefect!**

But this didn't matter,

**He trusted me enough**

But the Order?

**Did he want to recruit?**

We were as good as his already

**He had our will tied with a silver ribbon.**

Sirius laughed once he knew

**Peter didn't say anything but a weak smile**

Remus looked as fragile as broken glass

**The compartment door opened again**

But this time, no one was there.

**I shrugged it off, digging in my cloak for my Snitch**

I classed his bag for the cloak

**It wasn't there.**

Why wasn't it there?

**The person… could it be?**

No one could take his things. We had no one but us.

**That girl kept playing with a photo, fascinated by my golden ball**

Alice was suddenly intrigued, staring at Frank Longbottom's photograph

**Sirius turned his face away**

Why was life so cruel?

**Finally, we arrived at Hogsmeade**

The platform was exploded.

**There were people lying on the cars,**

Blood spewing from the bars

**Hagrid cast a smile, herding the first-years away**

Was I once that small?

**Remus nodded towards the shops, leading us away**

My friends shook their heads, walking towards the carriages

**I took my fiancé by the hand**

I gasped despite myself

**People, blood and smoke oozing from the cracks **

A snake still laughing in the sky

**I raised my wand, casting the spell away**

James kissed me, walking away from the place

**They stared at me in horror**

Because his father was an Auror

**Sirius and Lily and Remus went looking for survivors**

James and Peter walked gently away

**I had nothing to live for**

Everyone he knew was gone

**But you-**

You'll always have me.

**Sirius came to me with a body**

A body of a person so unfit for death

**It was a boy,**

Perhaps five or six years old.

**He smiled at me.**

Smiled, when all he knew was gone.

**We took his form**

Burying him in the flowers.

**When we left, Lily kissed his forehead**

Leading him gently away.

**I hoped where he was was better than here**

I hoped where he was was better than here

**We finally made it to the castle,**

But only once everything was as best as we could.

**I sent a message to Dumbledore**

Telling him what had become of it.

**He responded in seconds,**

And the Aurors in minutes

**We went to the office waiting**

I sat in the moonlight crying

**Dumbledore came with a promise on his lips**

Death Eaters:

**They returned again**

But this time, it was for a purpose.

**Lord Voldemort was looking for something.**

What could you say?

**Yes? **

Is everything going to be okay?

**Please tell me that everything's going to be okay.**

But I had you- the Marauders; Alice and Marlene

**It isn't close to enough**

My mother's dead,

**And her sister won't speak to us.**

Freaks. We are nothing but freaks.

…

**Tonight was the one where you always remember**

The one you'd pray to forget

**But you can't**

Because it serves as a reminder

**They're out there. Thousands**

Ready to burn, kill, destroy

**With all but a dying breath**

I understand this.

**No matter how much I wish I could forget**

Tonight, all I want is you

**Here, tucked under my chin**

But you have your place

**And you have yours.**

Suddenly, I'm aware of what death feels like

**Calming, somewhere where we can live together**

It doesn't sound so bad anymore.

**What would I give, to have you all forever?**

Us, just like it used to be.

**I don't recall falling asleep**

Because I was sobbing in beat to the rain.

**Together.**

What would I do to have you forever?

…

**Five reviews and oogles of hits. I am one lucky girl :)**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	46. Dark and Stormy NIGHT

As it could be predicted, it was a dark and stormy night.

Of course, being wizards, they had never heard of how much this statement applies. That's the thing with their kind- never able to see the big picture. But don't mind my monologue; I'll get right back to the story.

As I said before, it was a dark and stormy night. While the rest of the Hogwarts students were on the way to the castle, one student bypassed the norm; and followed five Gryffindor's through the streets of Hogsmeade. He was alone, as he usually was, but this time, he could follow with no chance of being seen.

Severus Snape had nicked James Potter's invisibility cloak.

He didn't want to, but the Dark Lord insisted. Why would he touch something that so often hung off the shoulders of his worst enemy?

He had to admit thought; this had its advantages.

There he was, alone, in the back most compartment, playing with the shimmering fabric. This wasn't a regular invisibility cloak, as it had a certain, _air_ to it; one that would prove abnormality. He would know, for to put it in Lily's words, he was up to his eyeballs in the dark arts.

Yes, this was different than most.

To be honest, this was the second time Severus Snape had seen someone disappear, but the last was something he refused to mention. It was an act that would never be more than staged

-LET ME LET YOU IN ON A SECRET-

It wasn't a mystery that his parents had died. Not mentioned, but not denied either. Tobias and Eileen Snape were murdered by a person they once called friend. A person that everyone knew to be a member of the Order of the Phoenix; a blow that no one saw coming.

…

In his opinion, it didn't matter that they were gone. What mattered was the fact that it was Mundungus Fletcher who did it. Bloodlust- he thought.

How was he so different?

…

Yes, to catch up on the scene, he was still in Hogsmeade, now wading through the abandoned and broken-down Dervish & Banges, which shivered in the breeze. Zonko's, which appeared farther down the alleyway, was more or less in one piece. But I'll leave the rest to the imagination, as a raided village street isn't hard to picture.

But, beyond the boundaries, there was the Shrieking Shack; still in pristine order; as if it were painful to the touch. This is where the five of them stood; Lily in James' arms. They appeared to have a small package, as Sirius Black had something in his outstretched arms. As a funeral party, they walked to a small garden, placing a small figure in the grasses. The person was smiling.

Smiling?

Even I doubt these descriptions sometimes. How could a dead man smile?

Just then, Severus remembered his mission:

The bodies; name the bodies. That, and bring the cloak to Dumbledore: eventually straight to the Dark Lord's arms.

And something about Hallows; he mentioned that as well.

Lily Evans, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black walked towards the street.

He followed them.

…

-Sirius-

James was right, as he usually was.

War… changes people.

Right now, I had no desire to do anything but hide; wallow in a pit of misery for as long as possible. Or perhaps just long enough to get that boys face out of my head.

School was as it usually was, with the exception of Lily and James; who were working more often than not. This wasn't an issue, or maybe it was. I really couldn't be sure. I didn't know how to take his sudden absence- it was like a piece of me was missing, a piece I didn't know was there.

Remus was also miserable; more so than before the full moon. He seemed more sullen, taking more to books than people. He didn't answer when spoken to, just- keeping to himself.

'Hey, Snuffles.'

I smiled softly, turning to face my best friend. He looked exhausted. I stood, motioning for him to sit beside me. James smiled at the action, taking his normal seat in the common room; that soft one to the left of the hearth-fire. He pulled something from his cloak, tossing it onto my lap.

'Dungbombs? Belch Powder? Is that- _you didn't!_'

James smiled happily, leaning back; and looking proudly at the Marauders Map. He charmed it to hover- pushing it to my side of the room, its marker on a specific spot in the castle

'Are you calling for a raid?'

James shrugged 'of the sorts, yes.'

'Excellent. I'm in the mood for a good joke.'

James stood 'get the others, I'll be there.'

I nodded, watching him sneak quietly out the door. Unfortunate that he misplaced the cloak; we used to rely on that thing for pranks like this.

I walked silently up the stairs, taking a second glance to the charm mark on the doorway- pushing it open. The others were just as I left them, talking quietly in the midnight moon. They looked up as I walked it, eyes heavy and distraught.

'Come on. James has a plan.'

Something ignited in Remus' eyes, and he stole from the room in his school robes. Peter waited until I was running in front of him to get at it. I shrugged it off; he was always a little odd. This wasn't the least bit unusual for one Peter Isaac Pettigrew.

Remus was waiting by the door.

'Where're we going?' he asked apprehensively 'James _did_ make a plan right? No one needs a repeat of last time.'

I huffed 'talk to Pete. That wasn't my fault.'

Peter nodded, shimmying himself into a cloak three times too small. At last, he was the image of a fat sausage we always saw him as.

I smirked at the thought. James would see it, but then Lily would slap me. Thank Merlin she wasn't coming.

'Pads? You didn't answer me.'

'Oh, he wants us to meet him in the dungeons. The Slytherins are in need of a wake-up call.'

'By Slytherins does he mean Snape?'

'The same. That prat stole the cloak. I'm sure of it.'

…

-ANOTHER PARTICULAR IMAGE-

A figure is walking impishly towards the Slytherin common rooms. His robes are slightly tattered and the hem is caked in dirt. His overgrown, greasy hair is as stringy as he is; hanging like curtains around his face. He is alone, and to most; invisible.

But not to one.

…

-James-

That prat stole my cloak?

I couldn't believe it. I didn't _dare_ to believe it. Snape was always too cunning; I would never have assumed it to be him. I now understood why Lily had taken to him. He was nothing if not determined.

I watched him enter Slytherin, pulsating silently at the door. A trio passed him, but the Dungbombs set off just in time; showering all in brown, sticky goo. Snape gasped, and the others had murderous looks in their eyes. The tallest, who was also the fittest, pointed somewhere off to my left; leaving the other two to flail uselessly behind. I smiled at the duo, comparing them mentally as a Filch/Lucius Malfoy hyrbig thing. (I believe that's what their called)and if I wasn't mistaken, Snape smiled. A smirk passed his face once over- doing laps, then finishing in a heap on the floor.

Snape picked at the spray; then disintegrated it with his wand. With any luck, the others had already set into the second position; I needed him led on another trail.

At the moment that couldn't last another, a curse was slammed into the air- lifting the accuser up by his ankle. I walked from my place, catching the cloak as it slipped from his body. The others came in tune; with the Map held proudly in Sirius' hand. His fingers quivered.

To my delight, the dark musk of the dungeons hid my appearance, giving me a moment to smile at my enemies bat-like struggle. He curled into a ball, not regretting a single action.

'It was you, on the train.' I said, walking beneath him 'wasn't it?'

He gave no visible response. Peter flicked his wand to bring him closer.

'You, who I saw in Hogsmeade- you, who stood by as helpless people were murdered!'

Remus sighed, lowering him to the ground. Like a fiend, he gasped like a fish out of water. Then, he stood as a king.

'It wasn't me.'

Sirius coughed 'Wasn't you. That's justifiable.'

'It wasn't.' he insisted. I bound the cloak tighter in my hand- hesitated, then placed it in my rucksack.

'Closer, closer my sweet. Those ickle students are out of bed!'

My eyes grew wide. Sirius shoved Remus and Peter behind him, blasting them into a broom cupboard. I ducked behind a pole (charming myself to remain unseen) and stared unknowingly at the thing left behind.

-THE OBJECT-

I promise, it's not to be expected. In fact, James Potter was so blunt that he wouldn't dare think of it being stolen- not to mention seen. That was the best thing he'd ever made.

…

'Parchment?' he said, lifting it to firelight 'It must be more. We'll find them, and if nothing else, perhaps pull out a suitable punishment from my collection.'

I mouthed the words to Sirius, who looked at me with huge eyes. Enough had convinced me; Argus Filch had the Marauder's map!

…

-Severus Snape-

'YOU LITTLE _PRICK!'_

I didn't show any sign that I had been nearly screamed at. I merely wiped my face of emotion- standing up to James and Sirius, my hands tight around my robes 'I think you managed that bit on your own, Potter.'

He lunged at me, but a firm hand brought us apart. A tall Scottish accent stood high above me.

'Care to explain ourselves, Potter?'

I scrutinized myself, backing down immediately at Minerva McGonagall's words. For all I knew, I was next.

'-be that as it may, it is still three o'clock in the morning! Detention is in order for _all_ of you! Fifty points from Gryffindor! Yes, Potter, fifty! You may be in my own house, but I see no reason to dismiss this form of misconduct! I will have to speak to Horace, but you will likely be receiving a similar sentence, Snape!'

I shrugged, resuming my pace of immobility. Lupin and Pettigrew shifted aimlessly; but I caught Peter's eye. He knew why I did it. It was all part of the plan.

The Order was too powerful, the _Marauders_ were too powerful. Someone had to stop the influenza before it even began.

Those three couldn't be trusted to live long, this had to end.

…

**Thanks for reading! You guys are the reason I write!**

**-Silence Nevermore**

**P.S. As to those who were confused in the last chapter, I'll attempt to explain it here.**

**I hate writing boring things. **_**Loathe**_** it. That is why I pull something in each of the dry chapters. Here, was the last trip on the Hogwarts Express for Seventh year. Bold is James, and regular is Lily. Thought I should make that clear. **

**Sorry if it was confusing, I'll try to make it clearer in the future**

**Another P.S: we are hot on 15'000 hits on this story! 125 reviews! You don't understand how excited I am to find a Fanfiction email in my inbox. Thanks for making my day!**


	47. With His Light in Her Eyes

**6****th**** of October, 1977**

-Lily-

I couldn't pretend that I didn't notice him

I did, I noticed him every day.

He was silent, and solemn, as if life was a parade of funerals

But I had James

And he had no one.

He came to me sometimes, but I remembered what he had said:

Remembered, and could never forget

Mudblood, Mudblood, Mudblood…

How could you respond to that?

Subconsciously, I rubbed my scar

It burned.

Bellatrix screaming.

James falling.

My wedding ring slipping off my finger.

I loved James,

And I hadn't forgiven Severus.

I wanted to,

Don't think that I didn't

But he hurt me so bad that I couldn't. I just- couldn't.

It began raining,

And I hadn't brought a coat.

I thought of conjuring a charm but,

What's the use?

Let me be as cold as I feel

A figure protruded from the forest

I saw, and then looked away.

Don't talk to me.

Please don't talk to me.

Severus looked up,

And I ran away.

Away, and anywhere but here.

There was a wayward root

And I slipped into a pair of arms.

Arms? I expected ground.

The arms brought me to standing,

And I was greeted by a small smile.

Severus.

No, don't save me.

He held me close,

And didn't say a word.

He slung off his own cloak,

But I stopped him.

So he cast a spell that kept me warm and dry.

Under the haze, I smiled back.

Little did I know,

There were other eyes watching me.

Hazel ones. Brown ones. Grey ones.

James, Remus, Sirius.

He led me to the castle,

But a lone broom swept to the grounds.

I pushed to get away,

But he wouldn't let go.

Severus, Mudblood, James.

James.

I pushed harder,

And the broom landed with a thud.

Severus stood at my side as James walked up to me.

I was suddenly caught in the middle,

With Severus on my left and James on my right.

I put an arm towards James, and a smile towards my best friend.

Both frowned.

They wanted me to choose.

The others came quickly,

Sirius, Remus

Both stood at James' side.

Three to one?

The rain kept pushing,

Left and right, right and left.

I took small white steps to the right.

James accepted me with open arms.

He led me towards the castle,

And Severus stood alone.

Because Death Eaters and heroes,

Live and die alone.

I can't recall what spot I put him in,

Because to me he was both.

He wasn't a knight in shining armour,

He wasn't a front line fighter either.

He stood at a distance,

Knowing who'll win before it even began.

Tomorrow will be better,

That's what he always said.

But it won't,

Because my last friend is gone.

I had James,

But was that the same?

James put a flower in my hand,

Lily's, and Petunia's

Intermixed, as hated as loved.

The others smiled at me,

Because these are Dark, Dark days

But I heard what he didn't say,

And felt what he didn't give.

He loved me, and that was enough for a tear drenched sky

A tear, and a heart that would never heal.

…

-James-

Bloody hell,

Petunia's family dinner was tomorrow.

Suddenly, everything clicked. That's why she went to see Severus. But me? I was her fiancé! If she had a problem, I wanted to know about it! He took over my job to take care of her. Lily was mine; he couldn't take her away from me.

'Alright there, Prongs?'

I nodded, turning my face towards the Common room hearth. The place that two years ago that boy broke her heart.

I flicked my wand, shutting the fire grate.

'Oi!' Sirius exclaimed 'It's freezing in here! Turn that back on!'

Remus bound a quilt tighter around him, keeping one hand out to hold a large book. Peter was in the corner doing who-knows-what. I was seriously wondering about him now. It wasn't like him be so alone.

I got up, walking in a hunter's tread to my old friends feet. He was buried in what could be called a nest- containing mass loads of books, blankets and sleepiness.

'Pete?' I asked him, crouching to his level, watching his eyes drop lower and lower.

He burst from a daze, getting hastily to an upright position. A black leather book was in his hand, and something like purple oil was leaching through the back-most pages. When he saw that it was just me, he seemed to relax somewhat, leaning back into his hole.

'James, everything's-' he paused, licking his lips 'everything's okay?'

'If everything means everyone than yes, everything's bloody brilliant.'

He shuddered at my expression, so I let my eyes soften.

'It was Snape.'

He looked confused 'But he was supposed to-'

My eyes grew wide and I grabbed his collar

'Just _where_ was he supposed to be, Peter? Please share.'

Peter yelped and pushed himself away. But I didn't let go just yet.

Sirius suddenly appeared at my side, his grey eyes cold and calculating. I let go, and he crashed into the wall.

'So Peter,' he began 'what did you do this summer?'

My old friend rubbed his fingers together, his eyes twitching between Sirius and me; as if they couldn't decide who to look at.

'Did homework, visited my family in France.'

I nodded 'sounds nice. How's your mum?'

'Mum? Fine.'

I stopped 'you said she was sick. Like, _really_ sick.'

He sat up a bit straighter 'she got better.'

'Wormy, don't be daft.' Sirius said haughtily 'You're hiding something from us.'

Lily came up behind me, sitting cross-legged on the floor. She tucked a piece of loose, curly hair behind her ear.

'Don't interrogate him. He's had a rough time, just leave him be.'

Sirius shrugged, only standing to pop a dung-bomb at a group of first-years direction. Thankfully, they had the good sense to duck, causing it to splurt all over the painting of a blind man. Just because he couldn't see it didn't mean that he couldn't send a few choice words our way. Remus and Sirius laughed, plopping together on a sofa, talking about something as simple as Quidditch standings.

'You okay, sweetheart?'

I shrugged, watching Peter slither away. He was up to something, I was sure of it.

'Lily, I'm so far from okay-'

She stopped me, fitting her body into mine; kissing me on the cheek.

'James, Severus didn't do anything. He picked me up and led me back to the castle. He didn't hurt me, I swear.'

I nodded slowly, pulling a Snitch from my pocket. It whizzed and twirled above our heads, casting a golden blur around the Gryffindor hangings. Lily's smile drooped from her face, landing in a puddle on the floor.

'It's,' I cleared my throat, holding in a sob that I didn't knew existed 'Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you alone, I _told_ you that we should've gone together, perhaps be safer-'

'I was just going for a walk, James.'

'Never you mind. We're engaged, I have to be there for you, I promised to not let you go; leave you alone-'

'And you haven't, love.' She whispered her bright green eyes just inches from mine 'You care too much. You care enough to let people go. And that, James,' she breathed, catching a tear on her fingertip 'is why I love you so much.'

I reached out first, kissing her softly, and when I broke away, her eyes were blasted with tears like blood; looking at me like she would die in a minute. I took her arm, brushing back the thin sleeve and kissing her scar softly. Lily sighed.

'It's tomorrow, James. I-I can't do it. Petunia hates me, she called me a freak; won't let her own sister be in the wedding, how can I face that? James- she hates me.'

I shook my head 'No, no she doesn't hate you. Tomorrow will come, you can see your dad, have a nice evening, and then it'll be over! And I'll be there the whole time, entertaining that whale she calls a fiancé.'

She laughed, but it lacked something that Lily's laughs usually have. This one was forced, with chokes and tears, and quite a bit of hiccoughing. But she laughed, so that made me happy.

'You can't deny. Vernon Dursley is a walking health hazard. Promise me, if we ever have kids, under no circumstance are they to be touched or even _seen_ by him.' I held out my hand 'Promise?'

She wiped her eyes, nodding as we shook on it.

'Wait,' she caught up, shuffling cautiously away from me 'wait, you want kids?'

I smirked 'oh yes. Loads.'

She shook her head 'Not _loads_. Just because I'm the deciding factor doesn't make me a baby-making machine! I don't _want_ twenty kids! Do you know how much that'll _hurt?_'

'Hurt?'

She sighed, rolling her eyes. 'Yes, James. It'll hurt. Having a baby is excruciatingly painful! And it'll all be your fault to a pregnant woman!'

I looked at her a little weirdly, trying to picture her pregnant. Merlin, no. That is _not_ happening any time soon.

'Who said twenty? I was thinking two or three.'

'You're saying it like we're picking them up and placing them in a cart-'

'No,' I said, catching her off-guard 'well, how many do you want?'

'One.' She said immediately 'one so our kid doesn't have the childhood I did.'

'One? That's no fun! We'll spoil them rotten!'

'Fine. Two. An older boy and younger girl.'

I smiled wide 'nope. We'll have three.'

'Two.'

'Three!'

'_Two_.'

'THREE!'

'I'M THE ONE WHO DOES ALL THE BLOODY WORK!'

'I'd help.'

'Sure you would.'

'It takes two to make a baby, love. Even I know that.'

She rolled her eyes 'Are you the one who pushes-'

'I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! NOW I DON'T WANT _ANY_! YOU'VE SCARRED ME FOR LIFE!'

'For names, I was thinking-'

'YOU'VE ALREADY PLANNED IT OUT?'

She didn't even look up, pulling out a sheet of parchment, unrolling it slowly.

'I always have it in case I have more ideas, but for boys-'

'BOYS? WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME DO YOU GIRLS _DO_ WITH YOUR SPARE TIME? PLAN OUT YOUR LIVES?'

She scoffed 'No. For one, now I have to fix things up to your tastes too. We have to pick names.'

'But-' I said quickly 'but Lil's, we're not even married yet!'

'Doesn't mean that you can't plan ahead.'

'Can I see that?'

She nodded, placing the list on my lap. She had a long girls list, but there was only one name on the boy's side.

'Harry?' I asked, highlighting it with my wand 'why?'

'I don't know, just… like the name I suppose.'

'Or it was the name of that bloke you liked in first year.'

She blushed 'moving right along. As you can see, I have quite the girls list. Plenty of names to choose from.'

I glanced down. Sherri, Kim, Carolyn, Annie, Kayla, Courtney, Grace, Lucy, Lacy, Rosie-

'That's impressive, Lils.'

She smiled, pointing to the first ones, which were in bright green ink, leaking all over the page.

'I wrote those in first year. Back then, I was obsessed with Jessie. It was going to be my first baby's name. That, and Ashley. To me, they were the prettiest names in the world.'

'I think Lily's the prettiest name in the world.'

My fiancé blushed 'When I was little, I hated my name. I always thought that it was too out there. I remember begging my mother to change it. But she-' she took a deep breath 'she said it was the prettiest name in the world because I looked like a Lily, and she loved me all the same. That year, I got a white dress with lilies all over it. I still have it, locked away in my cupboard at home.'

I cracked a grin, because with her; that wasn't too much of a stretch to imagine.

'I've always disliked my name too,' I said suddenly, surprising the both of us 'it sounded too formal for me. I didn't like it until I grew into it, and friends convinced me otherwise. Merlin, we were so s_tupid_ back then.'

She smiled 'Yes, you were. I always thought you were just acting that way, but you were flirting, weren't you?'

I didn't say a word, kissing her instead.

'Come on,' I said, getting up and offering her a hand 'it's getting late.'

She stayed put, her arms crossed over her chest.

'You didn't answer me.'

I looked up, internally rolling my eyes.

'Fine. Fine! I liked you back then! I only acted stupid to get your attention. Happy?'

She nodded cockily, getting up by herself, stealing to the girl's dormitory stairs 'Night James.'

Before she could leave, I grabbed her by the waist, kissing her flat on the lips. She sighed happily, and then kissed me back. Finally, after what seemed like a moment, she broke off, walking up the stairs quietly.

'Love you.'

I smiled 'Love you too. Sweet dreams, Lily-flower.'

…

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**-Silence NEVERMORE**


	48. The Last Supper

-THE SCENE-

A girl's childhood bedroom. Its walls are square and green, and the decorations were bright and shining. There were two occupants in her room, a girl and her fiancé. One is in the adjacent bath, readying herself for a dinner out. The remaining is bored. So very, very bored.

…

-James-

'Not yet, I'm- I'm almost done.'

I sighed, bringing out my mirror.

Of course, being enchanted, it wasn't a normal mirror. Sirius and I bewitched them in fourth year to show the others face while in different detentions. Or right now, waiting on Lily to get ready.

'Wotcher, Prongs. Still at Lily's?'

I rolled my eyes, which made him laugh.

'Betcha a sickle that Petunia will hate me.'

My best mate all but slapped me over the head with words. Instead, he rummaged through his pockets, showing me the goods in store.

'I would, but I'll go dry with all those lost bets.'

The bathroom door opened.

'James, does this look okay?'

My jaw dropped.

Lily was standing there, pretty as nothing, wearing the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. Her dress was pretty too, as was her hair (curled into a tight plait) but she was gorgeous enough as it is. The mirror dropped to the ground along with my dignity, and I threw my arms around her; kissing her softly.

'Oi! Keep the snogging to a minimum! I'm still here you prats!'

I walked over, kicking the mirror to its backside, in which the person there howled in protest.

I stepped back to admire her.

'Lils, you're bloody beautiful, you know that?'

She blushed, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. She took the Muggle tie in her hand, winding it skillfully around my neck. She knotted it at the top, letting it fall down my shirt.

'Thanks. These Muggle things get me every time…'

She smirked 'Don't worry about it. At least it's just dinner, or you might have had to dress fancier.'

'Good thing I'll have you to tie my ties forever.'

Lily got up hastily, pasting a kiss to my cheek, and grabbing her purse from the bedpost. I stood were I was, trying to ignore Sirius's annoying protests.

She turned at the door, facing me with renewed interest.

'And shut him up, will you? My dad won't take kindly to seeing him again.

I smiled, remembering our first meet-and-greet. As great as Sirius may be, he was obnoxious, and in my opinion, far less attractive than myself.

'Get a move on, you two!' Mr. Evans voice sounded from downstairs 'We should be there already!'

'Coming!'

I rushed down the stairs, taking two or three at a time, landing gracefully at Mr. Evans and Lily's feet. Both were waiting by the door, a pleasant conversation on their lips. All stopped once I reached the floor. Lily turned to her father.

'Where're we going dad?'

Mr. Evans shrugged, holding open the door for his daughter 'Petunia picked it.'

He sounded bitter, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

'Come along now, they won't take nicely to being late.'

I nodded, following them down the drive to their car, (black and swift, not unlike my broom) which drove to the restaurant in a minute. Mr. Evans helped his daughter out of the car, and I followed, slipping my hand in to hers. If I wasn't mistaken, a turn of sadness past over his worn face, but it turned stoic once more, carrying the weight a step more.

Lily walked to a little podium at the door, smiling at the man there. He smiled back as she gave the name, and leading us through the room to a small table flat smack in the middle of the restaurant. A proud, blond woman and a squat man sat there.

'Wotcher, Mr. Evans.'

He nodded curtly, sitting as far away from Vernon Dursley as possible, which happened to be next to Lily and me.

'Nice choice, Tuney.' Lily said in a conversational tone 'I love pasta.'

'I know.'

Petunia didn't speak another word until the soup came.

I picked up my spoon, slipping it into the thick liquid, (if you could call it that) and bringing it carefully to my lips. Lily smiled through her spoonful, then wrinkled her nose in disgust. I shuddered, tasting something very similar to bogie flavoured beans. Petunia, on the other hand, had almost finished hers, moving to dipping her bread into the remnants. She lied through her teeth at any question asked of her, especially any sent by her sister. Lily's pride slipping like the soup off her spoon; falling to the plate.

'This restaurant was a wonderful choice, Petunia.'

She smiled, but I could sense a sneer beneath that façade. Her father, didn't let it pass, sending a firm message her way. Steadily, she ignored it. Still, it was a small table, and elbows must touch in order to eat soup.

'What _is_ it that you do, Potter?'

I picked up my head, folding my napkin on my lap, (just as mum instructed) and raised my eyes to his squinty grey eyes.

'Well, Lils and I are in our seventh year at Hog-'

Petunia coughed purposefully, glaring at her sister. I cringed, and then continued.

'Hogwarts, but after that I want to be an Auror.'

'Auror? Sounds like a load of rubbish to me'

I stopped, really wishing that I could give it to him. Lily, who had noticed my action, put her hand on mine- instantly calming me down.

'Aurors are like Muggle policemen, Verm-Vernon.'

I smirked. Even perfect Lily Evans had a nickname for him.

'What did you say your job was, Mr. Evans?'

'I'm a Professor, at the University? Surely, Petunia's told you that!'

Vernon looked mortified, turning to his fiancé, who was equally flustered. I was suffocating to hide a smirk. But he noticed, and his purplish face flicked towards me once more.

'Have you seen my car, Potter? Latest model, I assure you. Not that you would know of course.'

Mr. Evans cast a burning glare at the back of Vernon's head, but just then, a prestigious woman walked past, asking for orders. She vastly resembled Madame Pompfrey, and so, I almost addressed her as such.

But Lily jumped in just in time.

'He'll have the same as me, thanks.' She said sweetly, passing the nur-_waitress_ her… her menu? I think that's what Lily said it was called.

'I don't drive a car.' I said in a happy voice 'Wouldn't know how if I tried.'

He scoffed, muttering something about freaks.

'Don't…' she whispered behind her curls 'James, he isn't worth it.'

I nodded, facing him with interest.

'But I do have a broom.' I brought up 'Best one they have, brand new Silver Arrow.'

Petunia let out an unnaturally high laugh, facing me with renewed loathing.

'A broom? You _dare_ talk about that here? None of that _abnormality_ exists in this world!'

'A broom isn't abnormal.' I said 'everyone I know has one. I'm captain of the Quidditch team!'

'And making up words. How mature, James Potter.' Petunia smirked

'I bet you wizards live off of benefits, taking all of our good tax money. No job…'

Vernon said this as though it was the worst a person could succumb to.

'I don't need a job. Wizards have a bank, Gringotts. (Run by goblins, by the way) It's in Diagon Alley, straightaway from the Leaky Cauldron. Potter has a vault there, with a fortune of solid gold.'

'Gold? Don't you patronize me!'

'Patronize you? I'm telling the truth!'

'Don't you listen to him, love.' Petunia soothed him 'He's gone barmy.'

'Petunia, you apologize right now!'

'Let's leave, Petunia.' Vernon sniffed 'Perhaps have dinner where we're not mocked by _his_ kind.'

Vernon got up, nearly knocking a woman behind him to the ground, taking Petunia's hand in his sausage fingers. He took her coat, seeing her to the door.

'Tuney! Oh, Petunia, don't go!'

Lily's sister took no heed, walking haughtily beside her fiancé. Lily stared down at her lap, fixing her hands to her face, and sobbed.

…

'Lils, I promise! I'll make up with him! Oh, darling, don't cry!'

But Lily ignored me, not moving herself from the fetal position atop her sheets. She hadn't moved since the dinner.

'Lily, please talk to me!' I begged, slipping my hand to join hers. But she shook me off.

'You made… oh, James-'

I forced my hug on her, holding her until her sobs faded to whispers. I wiped away her tears until the loss was all but a memory.

'Love, I'll apologize, I'll do anything. Just give me a chance!'

She nodded into my chest, her curls bobbing in unison.

'I'm sorry, James. Truly, I am. Petunia- I've never seen her like that. That isn't like her.'

'I don't like her… much.'

Lily let out a strangled laugh 'Yes, I could see that. Just, don't do it again, okay?'

I nodded.

'Don't cry again. It kills me to see you like this.'

'That, I can't promise. I can't wait until tomorrow, I miss Hogwarts.'

I laughed 'Lils, we've been away for a day!'

'Yes, but next year we won't be there at all. I'd prefer to be there than here, to be honest.'

'Me too.' I walked to her bedside, tucking her beneath the sheets 'go to sleep, Petunia won't follow you there.'

She murmured something, and I left the room. Bearing nothing but a tear, and a smile that faded to black.

…

**I got into Pottermore!**

**It's so much fun, my brother and I we're on it like all yesterday afternoon (which is why I haven't updated :() And I'm in Ravenclaw! Would've preferred Gryffindor, but Ravenclaw was a close second.**

**I've been getting my facts from there, and the Harry Potter wiki, so yes. My facts are correct. All that happened in this chapter is factual. **

**Thanks for reading! Did you have a favourite quote? Something you liked? Someone you want to see more of? You guys are the reason I update!**

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**-Silence NEVERMORE**


	49. Carry Me Home

**Song of choice- Deathbed- Relient K (it might take you eleven minutes to read it, if you get my drift)**

**-Tenth of October, 1977-**

Midnight.

Why was it always midnight?

But here I was, lying awake once more; dreaming about falling asleep.

My room was spacious, and shadows passed as easily as rain, slipping between the folds of walls and curtains alike. Lily had said this was the spare room, but we both knew that it was her mother's old drawing room.

A nurse, how ironic.

Silently, I stole from the bed to the window, levitating my robe to hand; watching the rain fall to the rafters. I was suddenly aware of the street, watching nothing but wind and water splash through the sidewalks. Did people live here? Crammed in a space like this? And Muggles, what about Lily's accidental magic?

Didn't they know?

Oh yes, I thought. The Statue of Secrecy. Of course they wouldn't know; the ministry simply wouldn't allow it.

There was a small table in the darkest section of the room, and out of the corner of my eye, I could make out papers on the desktop. They were crammed in and around the cupboards; and all the shelves were bursting from the seams. I saw colors of all kinds, but the majority were boring grey bank notes; which were as dull as nothing amongst all the colors. It was almost as if it was shoved in the back of a cupboard, never to see the light of life again.

But it made sense, I thought grimly. They lost a mother.

The desk was short, as Mrs. Evans wasn't a protruding sort of figure. She, however, held more respect and love in that small frame than lanky Severus Snape would ever hold in his.

I knit my fingers behind my back, walking carefully across the plush carpets to the back corner. The air was still, almost as a silence, but whooshed away the second I pushed open the drawer.

At that second, it was as if I let off a curse, as the sound was more protruding and forced than anything I had ever heard. I daren't move, not until things returned to how they were.

And they did, like an accordion regaining the air in its lungs. Only then did I gain the courage to look at the contents.

-ANOTHER SMALL NOTICE-

Grace Evans wasn't a woman of secrets. Never has been. There simply wasn't room enough for mystery in a world such as hers. The thing was, she didn't consider it to be of any importance.

In short, the secrecy died with her.

They died warm in an embrace.

Cold, shaking in the rain.

…

Letters?

What else could they be?

They all had different dates on them, all different handwritings- almost like the evolution of a writer.

There were also tapes attached, bound lovingly in Spellotape around the tip; flipping the letter on edge when held.

Lily, Petunia, Lily, Petunia.

Graduation.

Wedding.

First Death.

First Pregnancy.

First lost friend.

End of the War.

First home.

Loving your Sister.

First job.

There were so many.

So many locked in a shut desktop; never to see the love in a mothers words.

But why were they here? She couldn't have known. Mrs. Evans died in her sleep!

Why did she know?

The door opened.

The letters fell to the ground.

A messy red-head stuck her head through the door.

'Are you okay?'

I nodded.

She noticed the letters.

My eyes burned with guilty pleasure.

She walked up to them anyway.

'James, what is this?'

Turning them on end, looking for a trick, a sign that this was all a dream.

'James?'

She collapsed into my arms.

'James, why? Oh love, why me?'

…

'Letters, you say?'

I nodded, placing my bowl on the table, averting my eyes from the both of Evans.

'They had events on them!' Lily protested, her hands flat on the table. 'I saw them myself! Letters for-for me and my _sister._'

Mr. Evans didn't say a word, dipping a biscuit in his morning coffee. He took his time chewing, but when he was done, he turned his eyes to the both of us.

'Look. I don't know what Grace was doing, or if she really wrote them. She couldn't have known what was going to happen, she died in her sleep.' He got up, picking his eyes between the two of us 'don't get your hopes up, okay?'

Lily nodded, but I just looked down.

-A SMALL SCENE, PERHAPS FORTY METERS AWAY-

It is raining, and a horse-faced woman is climbing the drive of her old family home. The rain is sticking like shame to her coat and hair, but this time, her fiancé isn't there to brush it off. She stands at the door, wondering if she should knock. Because as far as she was concerned, the others inside wouldn't care on way or the other.

She takes a long look at the door, ducks her head, and walks away in the rain.

…

-Albus Dumbledore

I set my fingers together, wishing the silence to begin. Heaven knows we need it.

'-what _are_ those things called again?'

'Inferi. Positively ravish creatures in my opinion.'

'In anyone's opinion, rather. Shame it is, a _bloody shame.'_

I stood, and the Order members spun towards me as a Muggle compass needle. I smiled slowly, generally pleased by the sheer numbers.

'Welcome,' I said surely 'I want to thank you for coming at such short notice, but a-' I sighed 'another disappearance has come to my attention.'

Alastor shifted in his chair, throwing a hard glance at Mundungus Fletcher, who awoke with a start; nursing his smoking arm.

'Who, Albus?' Minerva asked her demeanor hard and stern.

'Caradoc Dearborn.'

Exclamations and conversations began immediately, and all seemed a little more unnerved; a touch more terrified. I couldn't blame them, as the fault was not there's to bear. It was his, Voldemort's. No one but he deserved to die like this. These disappearances, I shuddered to think what he was doing to them for information. There are reasons I do things, and not spilling all my information to one person is one of them.

'What are we to do, Albus?'

'We can't keep going on like this!'

Words and exclamations grew higher and higher until Alastor interrupted.

'Constant Vigilance!' he said harshly, his clear glass eyes as potent as the real one 'shunning away now isn't helping anybody!'

'I agree,' a young witch said quietly 'but we can't just sit and watch!'

'No,' I said placidly 'and you are quite right Dorcas. We mustn't just let this happen. But I know for a fact that Mr. Dearborn wouldn't want us, as the Order, to fret too much over this. I have a plan, however, and I will need all of your combined help to make it reality. In addition-'

'Sorry em' late, Dumbledore,' a booming voice said from the threshold of the pub 'those blasted twins kep' me from bein' on time.'

I smiled 'No issue, Hagrid. Please take a seat.'

He nodded happily, slamming himself halfway down the table; taking a healthy drink from his neighbour Mundungus' Firewhiskey. The latter glared at him, but if Hagrid noticed, he didn't take the hint.

'As you were saying, Albus…' Emmaline Vance prompted

'Yes. As some of you are aware, Voldemort has taken to Inferi as of late, and certain warnings must be set in place. I myself have been researching the effects of these creatures, and alas, have come to no avail. Nothing but death awaits those who meet one.'

'Charming, Dumbledore.' Sturgis Podmore said indigently, his yellow hair caked to his forehead 'truly, there must be something we can do!'

'Fire. Fiendfire, if possible. It is the only thing that repels them. But that isn't the only thing we need to discuss.'

A young Auror I had no name for slouched back in his chair, covering his face with his hands. His body was branded with scars and blood, forever marring his dark skin tone. Though he was, I noticed, and transfigured his assortment of papers into birds and flowers. They folded themselves into being, sprouting wings and beaks, flying around the room. The flowers burst into colors, framing the dank pub in light. The Auror looked up feebly, taking the touch of one of the Orchids. The birds chirped and pecked at his hands playfully, bringing him from himself. Arabella Figg laughed, her grey eyes shining like they never had before. A small chuckle sounded from the back of the room as one of the birds crashed into Alastor's eye, pecking until he swatted the thing away. Minerva laughed, charming the birds to sing. I couldn't help but smile, understanding how important it truly was these days. Emmaline and Dorcas caught her eye bringing colors to the singing birds. Pure- that was only name for a respite in the midst of a war.

'Thank you,' the bald Auror said surely, now sitting up straight and proud 'thank you, sir.'

I nodded, sneaking a smile in his direction.

'You're more than welcome. An apprentice, correct?'

He nodded eagerly 'Yes sir. Stepping in with Alastor Moody until things settle with the Ministry.'

'Thank you, sir.'

I smiled. Perhaps this wasn't the end after all.

…

-Lily-

Needless to say, things didn't turn for the better that afternoon.

Sirius was going to pick us up, as neither of us had our Apparition licences. Apparently, he had a new surprise for us later that day.

I had stolen from the house hours ago, walking down the path that was heartbreakingly familiar. It was the road Severus and I always took to our tree; just up the hill from here. I shook my head of the image, but before I could stop it, a thought crossed over my eyes.

_It was late August, and Severus and I had just arrived at his mother's grave. Tall trees surrounded the yard with clumps of mourners. Nobody said much, and I gripped Severus' hand like it was my mother who had died. Severus summoned a bouquet of yellow flowers, placing them on the plain brown box. I put my head in my hands, and he slipped his cold hand into mine. Slowly, the people dispersed and we were all alone. His father didn't even show._

_It had taken some time, but after a small smile, the twelve-year-old Severus Snape was coerced from his mother's graveside. I didn't say a word, leading him to a tree not too far away. He hadn't said a word since we had left, clutching to a small object in his hand instead. I tucked my dress beneath me, sitting down beside the majestic Maple tree. Its leaves were a lovely, full orange, as fall had come early that year_. _Severus sat down beside me, carefully placing his hands on his lap._

'_Okay?'_

_I shook my head, of course he wasn't okay. So I tried a second approach._

'_Severus, is there anything I can do?'_

_This time he responded, shaking his head in the smallest motion possible. His dark ensemble was so out of place in the sunny afternoon air, and he sighed. _

'_Lily, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-'_

_I put a hand on his knee, and he stiffened. After a moment, however, he relaxed, accepting my hesitant motion with gusto. I smiled weakly._

'_Sev, you have nothing to apologise for. None of this is your fault. It's going to be okay, you'll see.'_

'_How can you be sure? She was all I had.'_

_I shook my head 'My mum always said that people you love never leave you. She told me about Guardian Angels, the people who died watch over us, Sev. She's not gone. You'll see her again, I promise.'_

_Severus nodded slowly 'Lily, can you promise me something?'_

_I smiled 'anything.'_

'_We'll always be friends, right?'_

_I smiled, watching a lone leaf struggle down in the evening air; landing softly between us. He picked it up, placing it like a crown on my head._

'_Of course. I'll never leave, I promise.'_

…

I sat in derision at that old tree, putting my head against the smooth trunk; letting the orange leaves fall from the branches. That moment was so long ago, I couldn't believe that it actually happened. Friendship with him now seems like a dream.

I picked up my bag, picking through the letters James had found. I couldn't believe my mother had written these for me. Told me what she knew she could ever say. I would treasure them forever, these notes draped in advice.

'Wotcher, Lilypad.'

I shook from my daydream, facing an old friend with mixed reactions.

'Cheers, Sirius. Fancy seeing you here.'

He shrugged, revving his… motorbike? He motioned to my fiancé in the back 'Prongs told me where to look.'

I picked up my bag, walking across the green to him. He was straddling a Muggle motorcycle, and how he found it, I didn't want to know.

'I thought you'd be yelling by now.' He said apprehensively, taking my bag, placing it in the sidecar 'that's how these things usually end up.'

'Hey, Lils.' James said, helping me in 'ready to go back? We thought we'd pick you up, then round back to say goodbye to your dad then we could-'

'No.' I said

'No?'

'Yes, I don't want to go back. Do you have my things?'

Sirius nodded, pointing to the back. He looked shaken.

'Lils, you have to say goodbye-'

'No I don't.' I said crisply 'let's leave.'

He shrugged, and I settled myself in the sidecar, holding fast to the bars.

'Hogwarts it is,' Sirius said quietly, revving the engine to life.

'Are you sure, Lily?' James said quietly

'Yes. I'll see him at Christmas. I could do without the memories, thanks.'

And so he did, and off we went; forever leaving behind Cokeworth for the wizarding world.

Little did I know, that was the last time I would see it in one piece.

Because, the next day, my father would be one of the few survivors.

And I had refused to say goodbye.

…

**Almost 800 views since last time! You guys are amazing! Every new email brings figurative tears to my eyes. Thanks so much!**

**By the way, I want to thank Go Marauders and Lily and HpFan109 for reviewing last chapter, as I always love hearing from both of you.**

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**Thank you so much! I promise to update soon!**

**-Silence Nevermore/Violet Sky **


	50. Paradise

**Midnight, October 30****th**

-Regulus Black-

It doesn't take much to completely break down. Perhaps a word, an action; maybe it could even be a series of events and sentences. But when it comes down to it, it doesn't take a lot.

Like now, kneeling over a dying Muggle.

-AN IMAGE OF A BROKEN MAN-

A woman, a girl forced to grow up, lying face-up on the freezing pavement. I was watching over her, holding her hand as she fell asleep. A certain coldness covered her face, but her eyes were wide open: watching me. But slowly, painstakingly, almost, her eyes began too began to fade. Finally, her body gave loose a powerful gasp, and the girl was no more.

…

What could I do but stay?

Yes,

I had orders to leave.

But how could I? I was the coward who stood by, watching her receive a Death blow she never saw coming.

This was the end.

I knew about the Horcruxes, he all but told me about them. Told all of us. He didn't have the skill to understand. There could've been several, but I knew of one.

That locket.

Slytherin's locket.

Yes, I knew of that too.

I knew I was going to die, but before that happened, I was going to take him down with me. I wasn't sure how to do it, or even if it existed. But I had faith, and that's all it took to keep going. Perhaps then, maybe, if I was lucky, I would see my brother again. I'd explain everything, and he'd understand. Sirius and I knew each other, we were brothers; and I hate to put them in past tense. W_as_ isn't the way it should be.

As a Black, I could be under the protégé of the Imperius Curse and not raise suspicion. Yes, I could see the story now. Read it like a book.

Regulus Black, that One no one understood.

…

Today, the sky was like honey.

Clouds like cream, floating through the sky.

I saw it, slipping off the walls like shadows; walking with my parents to the forest deep.

It was Bellatrix's wedding day.

But don't worry, it wasn't as if she actually loved him.

Rodolphus, that is.

Lestrange. How ironic.

As her cousin, some things were more obvious than others. We knew each other, Cissy and I used to tease her for her accidental magic. She spurted rats and fire more than any of us combined. She was purely Black, more so than me, at least.

The black dress.

The sneer, pure denial to more than laugh.

She was maniacal. She was inspiring. She was a mystery.

Sirius had yet to show up.

The ceremony went as planned.

The rings falling like raindrops into the others hand, slipping onto the forced fingers.

She made a respectable marriage. Pure-Blood, from a racist family.

I had never felt more alone.

…

-Hogwarts. Midnight, on the night before Halloween-

'You coming, Padfoot?'

'No, you said you were getting it!'

'I said nothing of the sort!'

'Come on, Moony. We both know that you fancy her. May as well do her bidding before Prongs shows up.'

'Lily? I don't fancy Lily!'

'Sure you don't mate.'

'Shh. I think I heard something.'

'Nice cover. Really, it was convincing.'

'No! I think I heard a teacher.'

'How do you discern a teacher from a student? Like, do they sound different? I suppose you could tell Flitwick. Twice as many steps as any normal person.'

'Yes, but SHHHH!'

'Don't you shush me!'

'Come on. Good thinking remembering the cloak.'

'Besides my imperishably good looks, I do possess a manner of smarts, thank you _very _much.'

'Stop bowing, will you? You can see my ankles.'

'Your ankles? I'm seven inches taller than you!'

'Haven't got over it, have we?'

'Stop going so fast! I'm going faint! Wait, why'd you stop?'

'Faint?'

'Oh shut it, Moons.'

'When're the others coming?'

'Pete said 'round midnight. Prongs had detention with Slughorn.'

'Again? You'd think he'd have better things to do!'

'That Slytherin's a git.'

'Royally. But really, we have to make it to Filch's office! Merlin, Sirius. We need that map!'

'I know, but its Midnight. Prongs should've been here by now.'

'Perhaps he and Lilikins are snogging in a broom cupboard.'

'Thanks for that visual, Moony. Really needed that.'

'Here we are. Can you open the door? My hands are full.'

'Of what?'

'You know… stuff.'

'That's right. Because the great Remus John Lupin, ex-werewolf, can't open a bloody door without-'

'Finish that sentence, and we won't need to open the door.'

'…'

'Brilliant. Now Misser Padfoot, if you please.'

'Alohomora.'

'Now, was that so hard?'

'I dunno. You tell me.'

'Just grab the map and let's get out of here. This room reeks.'

'There's so many cupboards! Aww, come here. Filch has a whole drawer called "Marauders." How sweet.'

'I reckon it's almost full too.'

'It is! How much room do you have? 'Cause I am _not_ leaving without-'

'SHHH! Its Filch! Sirius, get _over here!'_

'But the map-'

'Leave it! We'll get it later! He'll have our hides if he finds it's us!'

'-as you can see, Headmaster, things are in set order for… Someone's here. I know it, Headmaster.'

'I assure it's nothing, Argus. No one is here tonight.'

'Of course, sir. Tis' nothing. Most likely a student out of bed.'

'_Didja hear that? They know we're here!'_

'_Shut it, Pads. Just walk with me and they'll never know it was us.'_

'_But the map…'_

'_It's okay. James will understand.'_

'_You can stop whispering now.'_

'Thank Merlin. And _Dumbledore! _What was he doing in Filch's office?'

'How would I know? I may be the hots of Hogwarts, but I don't know everything. That's your job.'

'Thanks, Sirius.'

'I'm here for you mate.'

…

-Lily-

'Unsuccessful, eh?'

Sirius hung his head 'Yeah. Dumbledore was there. We'll have to try again tomorrow.'

'Tomorrow?' James exclaimed 'Tomorrow's Halloween!'

'So? No one will be around.'

'Yeah…' Remus began 'But it's our last feast. I don't want to miss that. I missed it last year too.'

'Oh yeah. You were… yeah, that's right. Course, Moons. Can't miss it now.'

Peter huffed in, slamming the Seventh year dorm door with a slap of the hand 'Where were you all? I've been looking for ages!'

I looked at him oddly 'Peter, James and I have been here all night.'

Sirius gagged 'Thanks Lils. Didn't need to know that.'

James blushed, but I stood 'Where did you go looking? And Sirius? Grow up. We were making wedding plans'

'With Frank and Alice. She said she hadn't seen any of you, so I went looking.'

'Alice? I didn't know she was back! She said something about her mother being ill when we left.'

Peter shrugged 'Didn't come up.'

'Peter, you knew that we were going for the Marauders Map tonight.' Remus said 'We told you last night. You were there when we made the plans!'

He blushed 'Must've… forgotten. Sorry, mate.'

'Anyways,' Sirius said 'when else can we get it done? Filch is never out of his office!'

James cast a mischievous smile around the room 'Then boys? We'll have to make sure he isn't there.' He looked at me 'You in?'

I frowned 'This is a Marauder thing. I'm not a Marauder.'

Sirius looked confused 'Don't you remember? You're a _deputy_ Marauder. And getting married to one. Hey! I've even got a nickname for her!'

'You planned this out?'

'Course not.' He laughed 'can you see me planning? Anyways, it's perfect. Lilypad.'

'Lilypad?' James exclaimed 'she's getting married to me, you tosspot!'

'So? It works!'

'Oi!' I yelled 'I am _not_ getting a nickname. Not with a fox, not in a box! Now give it up before I kill you!'

'When did we start talking about foxes?' Peter whispered to Remus, who shrugged

'Lily, what're you on about?' James asked me, joining me on his trunk lid

'Nothing.' I assured him 'But I am _not_ getting a name like _Lilypad_'

'Fair enough. Did you have any ideas?'

I shrugged 'not really. Sirius, got anything else?'

He put a finger to his chin 'Lilykins, Liliputs, Lilyshine, Lilypad, Lily-'

'Hey!' Remus began 'What about Lilypad? It's the only thing that makes sense!'

'Lilypad? It makes me sound like a frog.'

'Come on, I'm named after a bloody stag. It can't get much worse than that.'

'Really, Lilypad.' Sirius said helpfully 'You'll grow into it.'

'I can see it now,' Remus said 'Lilypad and Prongs. Married at last.'

James put an arm around my waist 'Yeah, I guess so. Only a year now.'

'Eleven months, sweetheart'

'Whichever. I'm just glad its you.'

It would've been a wonderful kiss if the other Marauders weren't catcalling and whistling.

Oh well. If this was my life, I didn't want it to ever end.

…

**But it did :( Poor lily.**

**Many apologies for the long wait, but I hope you like the end result. **

**For those Maximum Ride fans out there, I snuck a quote in this chapter. If you can find it, I'll give you a shoutout next chapter.**

**Vote! I want to change my username! Go to my profile page to vote in my poll!**

**I think its funny, Lilypad. My younger brother came up with it, and I just had to include something of the sorts.**

**Lastly, review! Tell me what you liked best, who you liked best, or who you want to see next. Cause I can't tell you how frusterating it is to see a thousand hits and no reviews :) and it definitely inspires work, and will speed up the update times, just so you know.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-Silence Nevermore**


	51. i am love

-SOME CRUNCHED NUMBERS-

By Halloween 1977, the Death Eater to Order of the Phoenix members had a ratio of 13-2.

Alice Hunter's parents were killed last week.

Severus Snape was one task away from becoming a Death Eater in Voldemort's inner circle.

But most of all, Halloween 1977 was the day when five years later Lily and James Potter would be killed.

But that's not all that happened that day.

…

-Albus Dumbledore-

Today was a beautiful one.

The school had a holiday air to it, and for once; laughter came without sneers and taunts. It was free, as if there wasn't a war going on.

When the feast finally came around, a large bang sounded from the door, and four figures walked in; identical grins taped on their faces.

Remus.

Peter.

Sirius.

James.

Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.

And Lily, trailing slightly behind two other girls.

I was proud of them, magic like the Marauders Map was skillful, and never attempted before; at the very least, not that I was aware of.

Ingenious, that's what they are- far more brilliant than me.

When people started gagging from the doorway, the four best friends laughed. But they sat down, and ate a feast in an empty hall. Their last year, what a shame.

But it was all a shame.

I had seen it all before.

But not this; never like this.

Never before had I seen a friendship as strong as theirs. Four people who were one combined.

What a shame.

-Sirius-

'Merlin's beard, James! You sure?'

My best friend shrugged his endless view of pride in full swing. He plucked his hands in his pockets and smiled sheepishly at Lily's gaze.

She then gasped and threw her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek as it passed. I mimed gagging into Remus' shoulder

'You're going to be an Auror! Oh, love I'm so proud of you!'

Remus smiled at the scene, but I crossed my arms over my chest in defiance, ignoring the growing excitement in the room. It was as light as cream, and soft as firelight. Just another couple pronouncing their undying love for each other in the Gryffindor Common room.

The crowd whopped as Lily planted a kiss on him, but I didn't hear it. All I saw was the dawdling flames in the grate as I propped my feet on the table.

'Sirius Black? That's you, right?'

I didn't look up, ignoring the person above me.

A kind face looked down at me; pleasant blond hair falling in ringlets. But it was the bright brown eyes that made me acknowledge her.

'May I sit?'

I nodded.

Brown-Eyes smiled, sitting on the chair next to mine.

'Why are you sitting alone?'

'It's none of your-'

'Business? Yes, I know. But I don't accept that you're here for no reason.'

'I-'

'It's Potter, isn't it? And Lily Evans. I thought you two're friends!'

'We are, I guess. He just…'

Brown-Eyes stopped, and shook her head. 'Oh I'm being a prat.' She held out her hand 'My names Dorcas Meadowes. It's nice to finally meet you, Sirius.'

…

-James-

'Is that-'

'Dorcas Meadowes? Isn't that the girl in your dorm, Lils?'

'Uh huh.

'And something about Longbottom…'

'She dated him in fifth year.'

'Oh yeah, that's right. I almost forgot.'

'Wasn't she in the choir? I thought I heard Flitwick talking about her. I wish I could join.'

'Are you kidding me? Remus, you can't sing!'

'Can too!'

'_Lupin can't sing! Lupin can't sing! Remus cannot sing!'_

'That's entirely unfair. Have you ever heard me sing?'

'No, but it leaves room for improvement!'

'Nicely put, Prongs.'

'Thanks, Pete. Hey! I got a chorus too!'

'_He only reads books and he cannot sing. Even if he's reading a-a how to sing book!'_

'Really, it's not that funny.'

'That's because it's about you!'

'James, he's right. You mustn't tease like that.'

'_Yeah, James. Mustn't tease like that_'

'Really, Lupin?'

…

-A CONVERSATION BETWEEN SISTERS-

'Are you sure?'

'Don't you trust me, Cissy?'

'I haven't been proud of your actions of late.'

'You don't. I knew it.'

'I never said that.'

'Cissy, he's coming for him. You must've known this!'

'How could I have known? I'm not a-a Death Eater, Bellatrix!'

'Loyalty only goes so far.'

'What did he do? What did he do to the Dark Lord? He has been nothing but just to him!'

'His mission was abolished. He did a traitorous thing.'

'What happened?'

'He saved a life.'

…

-Lucius Malfoy-

The life, yes.

I did save him.

It was a boy who did it, a boy with changing eyes and bitter greed in his heart.

He didn't do it, though.

He stumbled over the words, pulsated between the flicks. Avada Kedavra has never sounded so bitter.

But it didn't happen like it should've. It was a secluded shop, and a lonely boy. Two of them, face to face.

They might've been friends.

His mask pressed firmly to his heart, he recited the words that never came to be- over and over again in his ears. Avada Kedavra. Avada Kedavra. It was that simple.

I myself had said the words before. Many times. He hadn't, and I was meant to see it through.

See that the boy was dead before dawn.

He had a name too, but I didn't see it until later. Later, when his head was in my hands and his words hanging in my throat.

Isaac Ollivander.

See?

It even has a nice ring to it.

…

At that point, two figures were in the window.

Watching.

Pettigrew saw them and disappeared, his cowardice overwhelming the need.

Two of them, a man and a young child.

A girl.

Perhaps seven or eight years old.

…

-Lily-

_Dear Lily_

_Today I learned some news. I didn't want to tell you, so instead I wrote to you. I couldn't bear tell my daughters that I was on borrowed time. No, I couldn't do it._

_Yes, I'm going to die._

_You are too, and I promise that it won't be painful. _

_Baby, it's like falling asleep._

_Do you remember when I used to sing to you? Those lullabies that you'd beg to hear? The nightingale song was always your favourite, and I've still got it by heart. _

_Darling, I wish I could sing to you one more time, but I can't. I haven't been able to sing for months._

_I'm scared, Lily._

_I would never admit this to your father, but I am. Our technology only goes so far, and I could never turn to Magic to help me. That's not my world, and couldn't bear hold you to it. You're a witch, Lilyflower; and I have never been more proud to call you my daughter._

_I saw you today, holding hands with James Potter. That boy is perfect for you, please don't let him go! I never told you this story, but when I was your age, I considered leaving your father. He was such a toe-rag, but all boys are! You just have to wait for them, like he waited for you._

_Your wedding! Oh, Lily, I'm so sorry that I couldn't be there! But it'll be beautiful, and I'll be there, watching you from heaven, like always._

_If nothing else, Lilyflower, remember that I love you. I couldn't bear leave without telling you girls that. Love one another; she's the only sister you have. _

_Don't live with regrets, and honey? Don't miss me, because really, I never left._

_-Mum_

I stared at the page for hours after I finished reading. Then I pulled out the tape and listened to her voice. Over and over, like a memory in my head. I didn't stop until unrequited tears were running down my cheeks, deafening the sheets. A figure walked to my bedside.

-A MIDNIGHT CONFRONTATION-

'Lily? I heard you crying.'

'Lily, what's this?'

'Oh, darling, I'm so sorry.'

…

James stayed with me until I fell asleep, tucking my face into his arms; his kisses on my head. And that's how we fell asleep, a mess of sobs and hushes deep into the night.

-A HAUNTING FACT-

Daunting, isn't it? That a moment of bliss too is ruined by the war. Another family ripped from its hinges.

…

Just as Lily and James were about to fall asleep, a voice sung above their heads; a voice of a mother they knew to be gone.

_I am the Way_

_Follow me and take my hand._

_And I, am the Truth_

_Embrace Me and you'll understand_

_And I, am the Light, and through me you'll live again._

_For I, am Love_

_I am Love_

_I, I am Love._

…

**There you go. A very long awaited chapter. I'm sorry it took so long, but I'll spare you the excuses. You'll all just skip past it anyways.**

**I hope you liked it, because I personally am in love with this chapter.**

**The quote! One person guessed! Is that it?! **

**For the record, it was:**

'_**Not with a fox, not in a box! Now go to sleep before I kill you!'**_

**Good guesses, Stunningfire. They totally made sense. But in my physics teachers words 'there can only be one answer.' (sigh) there's a reason I like English…**

**Please vote in my poll. I really want to know what you guys think. Same goes for reviewing. I could really use a good review right now.**

**Another quickie, another quote! This one from AVPM. If you don't know what this is, google it. Best show I have ever seen.**

**Love always,**

**-SN**


	52. Wish You Well

**Listening to: Wish You Well- TFK**

**Hope you like it, but it's another filler, must warn you.**

'James, I'm not sure about this.'

'Bout what? It'll be fine!'

'Yeah, quit being a prat, Wormtail.'

'He is right, you know. This's a stupid plan.'

'Stupid? You helped come up with it!'

'Yeah, the basics, this is just plain idiotic. Just because we're in seventh year doesn't mean we have to go _looking_ for trouble!'

'Is it your time of the month, again Moons?'

'Shut up, Sirius.'

'OoO. You called me by my real name. Crazy, eh, Prongsie?'

'I dunno, maybe he's right.'

'RIGHT? He's not right! This's a _great_ plan, and it'll go fine!'

'Says you.'

'Yeah, you're not the one who could get shish-kabobed if this goes wrong.'

'Shish-kabobed? What on earth is that?'

'Skewered. Annihilated. Or just plain killed, if you like. Whatever tickles your fancy, Misser Padfoot.'

'Wait, I forgot. What's the plan anyways?'

_Sigh_.

…

-Sirius-

'I meant it, what're we doing again?'

I flumped down on the sofa and flicked open a butterbeer, letting the annoyance in my expression be broadcasted around the Common Room. Thankfully, they noticed. And everyone but James steered away from me. That prat.

'We,' James gestured to the Marauders, who were strewn around a mess of couches and chairs. 'Are going to get Sirius here a date.'

I refused to blush, busying my face with drink. Remus laughed, but Peter nodded happily at James, completely missing the topic. Again.

'With who?' Remus said, leaning over to grab a butterbeer, cracking it open 'He had a thing for Marlene a while's back, and that other one, what was her name again?'

'Dorcas Meadowes.'

'That's the one!' Peter laughed 'smart one, she is. Helped me pass Charms before you lot came around.'

James gestured to the others 'Who do you fancy more? We need to get you a girl, mate.'

'Marlene.'

The reactions were sparred, thankfully, but were replaced with blank stares.

'Really?' Lily said from James' other side 'I really thought you'd pick Dor.'

James hesitated 'I think we all did Lils.'

Remus looked at me like I grew another head 'but Marlene's so _bookish_. She's cute, sure, but… Sirius, you sure you're feeling okay?'

I hesitated, and then stalked out of the room, followed only with unconventional words, and calls to come back.

…

'I'm sorry.'

I kicked the sheets from my four-poster, joining them on the floor. James walked carefully to where I was, hugging me surely. I resisted.

'Pads, you can't push me away like this!' he said quietly 'Talk to me! You're my best friend. I want to know what your issue is.'

I sighed and didn't answer, but James understood.

'It's the girl thing isn't it?'

I nodded slowly, flicking my wand; absentmindedly changing the color of my sheets.

'Well, you gave me advice about Lily, and I'm getting married to her. I thought-well, I thought I could help you feel as happy as I do.'

I looked at him oddly 'Like you do? James, my brother's a Death Eater. My parents are insane. People are dying, and I'm supposed to be happy like you are? Are you mental? I'm _never_ going to get married, don't you know that? I can't put someone on the line again! I can't-' my voice broke, and I looked down.

James smiled from beside me 'You're saying an awful lot for someone who didn't want to talk.'

'Sod off.'

'No.' he insisted 'I'm not leaving until this is better.'

I sighed 'James, don't you get it? No, of course you don't. You've never lost someone like I have. Do you know how _hard_ it was to see Reg that day? To run away because my parents hate me? To see a girlfriend murdered? No! I can't do it again! Can't, I've lost enough already.'

'You think you can't have a girlfriend because you'll lose her?' he said incredulously 'Mate, that's mental. You have to live a little, or you won't have lived at all.' James stopped, and stared at the bedstead 'You think I haven't lost anything? You think my life is perfect? It isn't. Not in the slightest. My fiancé was almost killed, and her mother died the day she woke up. Who had to be there for her? Me. It had to be me. Or the Prewetts? Mate, they were our friends. We used to prank with them, and they died. Sirius, trust me. Having someone there makes all the difference.'

'Someone there? No, I can't do it. Fancying Marlene is as close as I'll get with her. She's too-'

'Too what?' he said suddenly 'good for you? Sirius, she's Lily's best friend. She's on the Quidditch team. She would _die_ to save almost anyone. She's just like you mate, and that's coming from me!'

'You.' I said incredulously 'from you? James, you're a bloody gay.'

He cracked a smile.

'I hope not. Lily would get jealous.'

I hesitated 'Did you mean what you said? Me living with you?'

He shrugged 'Sure. You've lived with me for seven years now. Don't see a reason to stop now. But Sirius?'

I looked at him carefully.

'Give her a chance, okay? We'll stay out of it, I swear.'

He held out his hand.

I smiled.

I slapped his hand; beginning our swearing handshake. It had taken some time, but we memorized it in first year, and I never forgot it.

Finally, he snapped his fingers and slapped my back, completing the motions.

'Thanks, Jamesie.'

'Anytime, Sirius.'

…

-A TYPICAL DEATH EATER MEETING-

The even forty-seven are in attendance.

Lord Voldemort just sent Nagini to kill the curious Muggle outside, and is being followed by Bellatrix to ensure the deed is done.

Narcissa Malfoy is sitting in her husband's place, her hands quivering on her lap.

Severus Snape is also fidgeting, but no one would ever notice. He is too skilled to be noticed.

…

-THIRD PERSON-

'-what says you, Bella?'

'Your will is my command, my Lord!'

'Excellent. Any other… volunteers?'

He swiped his wand around the room, catching slightly on some people, including one Narcissa Malfoy.

'Lord Voldemort is surprised by your audacity, Narcissa.' He said temperedly, his mangled fingers fingering his wand. 'Your husband would do well to learn such things.'

'He-he wished to come, but Bellatrix swore to kill him if he attended. She would not, however, kill me. It was not in the agreement. I am here in his place for tonight.'

The young boy in the back snickered until a spell silenced him. He looked at the accuser deliberately, but Severus Snape ignored him, paying full attention to his Lord. Even if they were the same age, he would always be the better of the two.

'The mission, of course is simple.' He managed what could be seen as a cruel smile 'The Ministry of Magic seems to be in need of a new Minister.' He then got up, pacing the spread of black marble 'but you must not be understood. Lord Voldemort could not make this clearer.'

A strangled gasp entered the room.

The Muggle was worn, leaving swarms of bloodstains on the floors. Peter cast the smallest amount of recognition in her direction. She was familiar, all right.

This woman was his mother's best-friend.

This woman was to be the one to break him.

No,

Not this time.

Because now, nothing could break him. Not friends, not death.

He was as alone as could be, and this is, this alone, is what he feared most.

…

-Lily-

I flicked open another book, staring down at the picture there. It was a wedding, my parents, twenty years ago.

Mum was so beautiful.

Her red hair was done in curls, and her bright brown eyes shone with joy. I wondered if I had ever looked that beautiful.

'You look like her.'

I smiled, letting James drop a kiss on my head, feeling the couch dip as he sat next to me.

'Sirius okay?'

He shrugged 'Better. He'll never be okay, though.'

I nodded, because I of all people would understand.

'Wedding photos? Was that next?'

I smiled, flipping the page.

'Looking for inspiration for ours?'

I turned to him 'that's not fair. You always know what I'm thinking but I can never guess yours. I mean, I want to be able to help you, you know? And if I can't even-'

'You finish that sentence, and I'll have to murder you.'

I sighed, crossing my legs to face him 'But really! If we're going to be married in a year, I want to be a good wife.'

'You already are a good wife. You take care of me, you love me, you keep us Marauders from killing ourselves; Lils, your being as mental as Sirius!'

'Sirius was being realistic.'

He held up his hands 'Look at that. I didn't even tell you what we talked about, and you already know. You're amazing, and smart, and I wouldn't have you any other way. So please, for the love of Butterbeer please don't do this to me!'

'For the love of butterbeer?'

James shrugged 'first thing that came to mind.'

'So, wedding plans. Have you picked a best-man yet?'

James tapped his chin 'I was thinking Pads, but the others could be my "men"'

'You mean groomsmen?'

'The very same! Wait, what 'bout you? Picked a Maid of Honor yet?'

'No,' I admitted 'Petunia barely invited me to her wedding, so I doubt she'll want to be in mine, and Alice's parents just died. I couldn't push that on her. But Marlene is a definite maybe.'

He laughed 'wouldn't that be ironic? I swore to leave him alone, I even _pinky _swore and he and Marlene might be together anyways.'

'Pinky swore?'

'It's a Muggle thing.'

'I know! I taught it to you in fifth year!'

We laughed, and James pulled me tight.

'I don't care if we get married on a broom, I just can't wait!'

…

**I hope you liked it, and please **_**please**_** for the love of Merlin review. I got one last chapter, and not to be rude or anything, but some other stories get like ten reviews a chapter. I'm getting jealous. **

**And, check out my new story, **_**Love Me.**_** It's a story of really short drabbles about everything, and that'll get updated when I'm brain dead on this one.**

**What do you guys think, should I change my username? **

**Love,**

**-SN**


	53. Never Grow Up

**Listening to: Something Beautiful- NEEDTOBREATHE**

-Sirus-

'Where're we going, Pads?'

I shrugged, charming my lantern to hover in front of me; it's light dancing off the walls 'My cousin wanted me to come visit.'

Remus looked at me in terror, his greenish eyes as big as moons 'Which cousin? Not Bellatrix, right? Or Marcissa?'

'_Narcissa_,' I corrected irritably 'and no. Who do you think I am? No, it's Andromeda, the second-oldest sister. She has a kid, and I lived at her place for a while.'

'A kid?' James asked 'You never told us about that!'

'Yep.' I said, sighing 'and as her favourite cousin, I feel the need to be there for her fifth birthday.'

'Funny,' Peter said 'even the Blacks have nice people.'

I mocked a clap 'well done, Wormy! That was actually intelligent!'

James nodded enthusiastically, and Remus smiled. Lily all but shook her finger in my face.

'When did you live there?' Lily asked, her own lantern bobbing behind her, the scowl imprinted on her face 'You didn't leave before that did you?'

'No, not permanently, anyways.' I said quickly, ignoring the reoccurring glares and accusations. 'Come on, up here.'

I reached the end of the tunnel, climbing up the worn steps; cracking open the cellar door and throwing up my lantern- jumping up to follow it. James reached for my hand, and I hoisted him up beside me. I stood, securing the place with the cloak while James helped the others up.

Honeydukes has never looked more appetizing.

The shelves and cauldrons were bursting forth with colour and sound, all shapes and sizes; including my favourite- pumpkin pastries, all contained in a huge bag on the top shelf.

As soon as James hoisted Lily up, he turned towards me, but I wasn't looking. I was mesmerized.

I stood on my tiptoes, reaching my hand past the four shelves preceding it, just barely touching the paper sack. James laughed, his hand bypassing mine, keeping the sweets high out of my reach.

'Prongs!' I complained my arms crossed 'that's not fair. Marauder law, "thou must give the hungry sweets."'

'I think your confused Padfoot,' Remus said with a twinkle in his eyes 'as I recall, you made the rule in second year, coinciding with the exception "finders' keepers."'

'But that was so long ago!' I moaned 'I was twelve for Godric's sake!'

Lily rolled her eyes, taking the bag from James and placing it back on the shelf; turning back to look at the four of us.

'Really?'

I feigned looking down in shame, even adding dabbing my eye; which I'll admit, was a nice touch. The other three followed suit, but what they did, I had no idea. It was my job to turn Lily's motherly side to mush.

'Come on.'

Lily then marched out of the cellar, not even turning to see if we were following.

With one quick glance at each other, the four of us scrambled out after her; but only after James tucked the brown wrapper under his cloak.

…

'Where'd you say the house was again?' Peter whispered loudly, his head all but poking out from the bush.

I shushed him and pushed his head back through 'Shut it! Do you _want_ a repeat of last time?'

He cowered into Lily's arms while I pulled the parchment from my trouser pocket.

I grabbed my wand, quickly igniting the tip- trying to read the map my cousin gave me for her family's safe house. On the top, there was even the notion "keeping out family and Death Eaters alike, since-"

'1972?' James read over my shoulder. I nearly jumped at the sight of him 'why 1972?'

I looked back at him, rolling my eyes 'cause that's when Tonks was born, you tosspot.'

'Tonks?' Remus asked, picking weeds out of his hair, settling beside us 'I thought you said her name was Nympha-'

'Who would want a name like that?' I interrupted irritably 'I mean, like Sirius is pretty bad, and Bellatrix is just atrocious, but Nymphadora is top of the top. No, she goes by Tonks.'

'So what would her full name be?' Lily mused from my left 'Tonks Tonks?'

'Perhaps,' I said, flicking out my light 'but we're out of time. My cousin doesn't take nicely to being kept waiting. Especially now. Come on.'

…

-Tonks-

'Dora, dear, come here. Your cousin'll be here soon and you are a _sight_!'

I rolled my eyes, putting my hands on my hips.

'Mum! Siri doesn't care what I look like! Let me _go!'_

But my mother held on, and eventually, I gave up. She then picked me up, placing me uncomfortably on her hip and walked me to the loo for the inevitable washing-up.

She placed me down on the counter, leaving my legs to dangle and my eyes to droop. I _hated_ being clean, especially now. Siri doesn't notice, and being sad makes my hair yucky and brown. I picked up my face, feeling my hair switch to its usual bubble-gum pink.

'Now, Dora.' Mum said with a washcloth in hand 'come here.'

I struggled and squirmed but Mum insisted on getting all the dirt off of me. My hair turned to an unfortunate black, and my eyes a deep red. She didn't seem to notice, however, even charming my play clothes into a dress.

I jumped off the counter.

'Mum! Am I done _now?_'

She then smiled at me, kneeling down and placing her soft hands on my shoulders. She picked up my chin to look at her.

'Yes. You look beautiful. Now, go get the door; I've heard a doorbell!

…

-Sirius-

'Is that little _Tonks?'_

My cousin giggled, taking an unusually large fall before she reached me. She sniffled, then got up and hugged me.

'Wotcher, Siri' she said politely, then nearly bounced with excitement 'play Gobstones with me?

I smiled, taking her hand; waving at Andy (who had her hands full of washing-up) and was dragged to the back of their quaint house, and plunked myself down in a chair- a Gobstone thrown into my grasp. I, having exceptionally good skills as a chaser, caught the ball with ease, flicking it at James, who had the sense to duck. Peter however, got the blunt of the blow, and fell to the carpet groaning. Ted, who was sitting next to Tonks on the floor, was doubled over laughing. I grinned, and turned until I was situated on my belly

'Okay, let the game begin!' Ted said with a smile in his voice 'Ready? Set? Go!'

'Tonks, your turn first, sweetheart.' Her dad said after a pause. Her face lit up, and she flicked the tiny ball with so much concentration you'd think she was trained for competition. Unfortunately for Remus, the ball turned under her thumb, and hit him flat in the forehead. He rubbed his head sadly, glared at me, and tossed the ball back to my cousin, who was blushing furiously. Lily smiled, sitting next to her on the floor, and helped her do the next round.

James, being the prat he was, took to mocking my despicable attempt at the game at every turn until we were at a standstill, Lily and Tonks one hit away from winning.

'My turn?' my cousin asked with glee.

'_Can_ it be my turn, sweetheart.' Andy called from the kitchen 'Mustn't be rude.'

Ted rolled his eyes and turned to his only daughter 'go ahead, Dora. Take a turn.'

Tonks creased her forehead in concentration once more, and I saw Lily pull out her wand. Just as Tonks flicked it, Lily guided it to hit mine out of the ring. Tonks looked hard at me, then at her father, and burst up laughing.

'I won! I _never_ win! Oh, daddy, this is the best birthday _ever!_'

She laughed once more, her pink hair bobbing behind her, and jumped into her father's arms.

I cast a suggestive look at Lily, who shrugged. Just as I was about to say something, Andy came out with the cake, a pink thing covered in chocolate.

'Mine, mommy?' she asked brightly, licking off slice of whipping cream before her mother smacked her hand off. 'Is it all mine?'

'All yours, Dora.' She said with a motherly smile 'Now, if Sirius would help with the plat-'

'Got it, Andy.' I said, levitating the colorful plates to the tiny table 'Anything else?'

'Do you need a hand in the kitchen, Mrs. Tonks?' Lily asked hesitantly, getting up.

'Oh no, dear. And don't call me "Mrs. Tonks" it makes me sound a million years old. Call me Andromeda, Lily.'

'Okay.' She said hesitantly, folding her hands behind her back until James took one in his own, making her smile.

Andy sat her daughter down in a chair, who was squirming to reach the cake that I levitated out of reach. Remus was frowning, until he snatched away my wand, letting the cake fall softly at Tonks place. She, in turn, kissed him on the cheek, causing my old friend to blush.

'Happy birthday, darling,' Ted whispered 'blow out your candles.'

…

**Hope you liked it, sorry for the extended wait, and once again, remember to review!**

**Please? For my birthday on Monday?**

**Thanks for reading, love you all.**

**-SN**


	54. Learning to Listen

**Listening to: Beth- KISS**

**My goodness. I got six reviews last chapter. Six! You guys are awesome:)**

**Also, I'm going to try a bit harder to primp these chapters. They are short, and I know that- and I don't want you guys to have to read another fifty chapters. That'd just be painful for both of us. So I am, as of now, going to double the word count and have more oomph in each chapter.**

**Just for you:)**

**And kudos to you guys, I have never got a bad review on this story; only great ones that make me all fuzzy inside ;) **

**There's a quote from PJO in here somewhere. Can you find it?**

**Here you go!**

**-VS**

-James-

_November 14__th__ 1997,_

_Dear Mum,_

_How are you? From what I've heard from dad, you really ought to stay off your feet, or this cold will never go away._

_Why don't you just go to St. Mungo's and stop being so bloody stubborn all the time? Honestly woman, we'll get you to the hospital if Sirius and I have to drag you through the door. _

_Otherwise, Lily and the Marauders are fine, but it's getting colder up here. We visited Hagrid last week for tea, and he says I'm in good terms for a Care of Magical Creatures NEWT. You always said I would get it, but now I'm more convinced. On that note, Lily's been pushing me with studying. I knew it was a bad idea to study with her- we get nothing done!_

_Anywho, write me how you're doing._

_Your son,_

_James._

As I finished writing, I wiped the sleep out of my eyes, spraying a sheet of ink over the table. Remus gasped as his notes got covered in bright green ink, (bought in fourth year, after Lily's eyes, of course) and threw me a dirty look. Sirius just grinned, flicking a handful at Peter, who huffed until he cleaned himself up. Lily just sat there with a half-grin on her face. I smiled dopily at her until Sirius kicked my chair leg out, and I fell into a pile on the floor.

Then Lily was standing above me, and I could swear a beam of light crossed over her face. My mouth dropped open and she smiled.

'You are such an idiot sometimes. Come on, take my hand.'

I sat up, smiling once more at her. I took her hand and stood, slapping my best-friend over the head. Remus, on the other hand, was still haphazardly rearranging his Transfiguration notes into a neater pile, now picking one off the bottom of Peter's left shoe.

'Remus, you almost done?'

He turned, and a cute girl was standing there, her long, black hair in a neat plait. Her eyes were sparkling as he smiled back, his notes falling to the floor; completely forgotten.

'Um, I uh-'

'Hi!'

The girl turned around, her eyes sceptical as Sirius held out his hand, mischievously looked at her. She shook it hesitantly, and then took Remus' hand, leading them out the portrait hole.

'Who the bloody hell was that?' Peter exclaimed, plunking down in his chair (no doubt satisfied that he got all the goo off.)

'Sunny Tarafield.' Lily said from behind her book, propping her legs up on my lap 'She's a sixth year. I think she was one of Emmaline's friends before she graduated.'

'You'd think I'd know all the girls at Hogwarts by now, but her, I've never seen her before. Wait-'Sirius paused, his finger going to his chin. 'Wait, we do know her. She was that girl who got hurt in that same attack...'

My fiancé looked down.

I walked over and pulled her into an hug.

Sirius sat down next to Peter on the sofa.

The portrait door slammed.

But I wondered why it had been opened in the first place.

Oh yes,

Remus.

Funny how reminders put time into perspective.

…

Sirius left the common room. It was getting too stuffy in there anyways. He slung on a jumper and left without a goodbye, leaving his best-friend standing with questions at the door. But that didn't matter; Sirius Black had a job to do.

And this was a job that he had to do alone.

He took his wand in his hand, walking down the familiar steps that he had taken so many times before. He grimaced at the Fat Lady when he turned around, but hesitated when the staircase turned full of second-years. Sirius shook his head and pushed past them, his cocky smile permanently wiped off his face.

Running, running, Sirius made it to the Great Hall. He put a hand over his chest and kept going. He had to make it before it was too late.

He had received a message you see, a tip from Andromeda a couple of weeks ago. He hadn't realized its significance until now, and now, now was almost too late. He had to warn Dumbledore! He would know what to do!

Sirius all but collapsed in a heap at the stone griffin guarding the Headmaster's office. He bent over, his lungs strangled. He limped over to a broom cupboard, first listening at the door for telltale interruptions. Once he was convinced the coast was clear, he slipped in; pulling out the sheet of parchment. He unfolded the worn corners and read the neat inscription.

…

_Pass the Hall of Black's united,_

_Under the lake where you won't be sighted._

_Take twenty paces to the right,_

_And hold your wand up to the Light._

_There'll be a shade who's cloaked in blue,_

_A friend in smoke of a girl you knew._

_She'll take the Light up to her eyes,_

_But try to see through her disguise._

_Because it did, and don't forget,_

_The day you most of all regret._

…

Under the lake where you won't be sighted... That had to be the Slytherin. He had heard endless stories from the others, whenever they took the opportunity to mock him. But what did this have to do with that? Andy said it was important, and just slipped it into his pocket.

Of a girl he knew?

No,

It couldn't be that.

He wasn't about to indulge in something that hopeless ever again. All it called for was heartbreak, and that was something he couldn't risk to spare.

But how did she know?

What did this have to do with anything?

Wait, he thought. The Slytherin common room. There would still be traces, traces of… of-

Future Death Eaters? Some elaborate plan, maybe-something that everyone else had overlooked.

He walked out of the cupboard, rolling up the sleeves of his jumper, falling in a heap at the Griffin's feet. How he was going to get in, he wasn't sure. Of all the rooms in Hogwarts, this one was sure to have an elaborate passcode.

'Hello, Sirius.'

He nearly had a heart attack, the piece of parchment instantly tucked deep in the folds of his hand. He pulled a quirky smile as he stood but was surprised. Dumbledore merely chuckled, letting his worry fall to the floor.

'It seems as if you are troubled, Sirius.'

He shuffled nervously on the floor; turning about until he was satisfied they were alone. Even then, he leant in as a first-year telling a secret.

'I have, um- I mean…' Sirius reprimanded himself, then shook his head 'Sir, I have something to tell you.'

'Yes, I could see it.' He said smartly, his half-moon spectacles nearly falling off of his nose as he too leant in 'but I'll assure you of this. This hall is private. Anything you say is to me and only me. But perhaps you'd prefer my office? It would make any other wizard wonder why you would be waiting otherwise.'

He nodded, and as the Headmaster brought forth the password, Sirius brought the note to hand, burying it in the back most pocket of his robes.

…

'Oi, Padfoot. Wake up.'

I shook my head, rolling over. Nothing, repeat _nothing_ was going to wake Sirius Black up from his beauty sleep. Even the Marauders knew to back off unless it was of the utmost importance. Truthfully, I was surprised they had survived this long.

'Come _on_ Sirius! The others are already there. And you, my friend, are making me late for a very important date.'

'Date?' I said groggily 'who said anything about a date?'

'Well,' James said, sitting on the edge of my bed 'You did mention it once or twice.'

'No, but a date, as in a _date_ date?'

'No!' he said indigently 'unless you and I are dating, that is. The Marauders are all on the roof. Moony said something about stars.'

'Stars.' I repeated 'you wake me up in the middle of the bloody night to go stargazing? Your barking, if you'd think I'd come.'

'Come on,' he whined 'stop being such a bloody stick in the mud.'

'Stick in the mud? I'm sleepy! I was up all night talking to Dumbledore!'

James looked at me with a smirk 'Oh, so _that's _where you went.'

I pushed the covers off and stomped off, pushing James off my bed in the process. He laughed on the ground, then climbed out the window, but stopped at the sill.

'And hurry up, will you? We don't have all night.'

I grumbled and pulled on my robe- carefully fluffing my hair over the collar- and followed my best-friend over the edge.

…

-THE SCENE-

The Gryffindor Tower in basic moonlight on the lowest setting is what the others are coming to. Two boys are sitting on its roof, two of the Marauders waiting on the peaked apex waiting for a secret the teller isn't yet ready to spill.

Not yet, at least.

…

-Peter-

'See that there? That's Cassiopeia.' Remus said, pointing to a curious looking constellation.

'Cassiopeia?' Sirius said 'Hey, I knew a girl named that, but it was Cassandra.'

'Of course you did. Wait… hey! That Hufflepuff sixth year, right?' James asked. Sirius nodded and they both laughed, slapping palms over Remus' telescope.

'So.' I said, clearing my throat 'why did we come out again? We have charms first thing tomorrow, and if Flitwick was mad _last _time-'

Remus laughed 'Pete, tomorrow, for one thing, is a Friday. We have a free period in the mornings. Secondly, if anyone was to be mad, it would be McGonagall-'

'Minnie,' Sirius said after a long drag from his cigarette 'The old bird loves me, no need to worry, boys.'

I whapped my hand out over the smoke, scowling at Sirius, (who happily ignored me) and picked the star map out of Remus' hands; who was too distracted to notice anyways. I pulled over the telescope and made my own calculations. Carina, check. Hydra, double check (and shivers) Hercules-

'When's the next full moon, Remmy?' James asked, scooting a little farther away from Sirius, who was now blowing puffs of smoke in his direction downwind. He just laughed, but with one look from Remus, he threw it off the rooftop of Gryffindor tower, watching it fall some five hundred feet below.

'The twenty-first, but it won't be so bad this time. It's a solar eclipse.'

'Solar eclipse?' I asked 'What in the bloody-'

'It's when the sun goes in front of the moon, Wormy.' James interrupted 'I wonder though, what'll happen then? Will it truly not be as bad? Cause really, if the moon isn't there…'

Remus sighed 'I just wish I didn't have to worry about it at all. I'd curse Greyback the second I saw him if I got the chance.'

'Would you? 'Cause that doesn't sound like you, Moons. You'd probably try to reason.'

The others laughed, but Remus and I stayed silent. Why wouldn't he? He had every reason under the sun to kill him for what he had done. But Remus was different; he wouldn't kill unless he had a very good reason to. Not unless something was going to go terribly wrong if he didn't do something.

'Wouldn't you, eh, Remmy?' Sirius laughed 'Hah, Remus? Wait, Moony, where're you going?'

Remus looked back at him 'Sirius, you just don't understand. Never mind, okay?'

Sirius looked down as the realization set in. Something in his expression hardened and he looked down in shame. His face set in midnight shadows and he got up, walking slowly to his best friends side. I tried to catch James' eye but he didn't move his eyes from the scene, his legs caught in a dirty blanket. Sirius grasped Remus' shoulder, and made sure he followed him- walking back to the rest of us. They both sat back down, but something had changed.

'You don't think I understand?' he said quietly, looking straight ahead, and Remus looked his way in confusion. 'My cousins are Death Eaters. My bloody _brother_ even joined their side. You never thought that I wouldn't get it? Never thought that I joke and laugh because it's better than bloody crying? I don't _want_ you to be a werewolf Moons. I understand how bad it is to be left out. You're my best friends; you think I would tell that to anyone that!

'You never thought that I worry what'll happen when we all graduate? We might not all make it out. I couldn't… just couldn't. Not again.'

James pulled him into a hug, and Sirius tucked himself into his arms. Remus sighed and put his hand on James' shoulder.

'You're not the only one.' I blurted out; bringing my knees up to my chin 'You know that? You're not the only one that has it rough. We all do. Some-' I looked at James and shook my head 'some more than others.'

James lessened himself from Sirius and sat beside me, he ruffled through his hair then stared straight ahead. I could almost smell the guilt in his breath.

'Lily, she-she needs me. It isn't just me anymore, I have someone else to protect too. I'm bloody marrying her and I can't even keep her safe.'

'You are keeping her safe,' Remus said from my left 'you don't think she knows that? Merlin's pants, James, you really are daft. She trusts you, you know that. She knows that you're doing your best. If she agreed to you, then she already knows more than you do. That's the way it works with girls.'

'I don't want this war to last forever, you know?' Sirius said, wiping his eyes behind our view. The rest of us pretended not to notice. 'Remember Tonks birthday? Andy slipped me something. That's why I was with Dumbledore all evening.'

'What?' Remus exclaimed

'Just shout it to the world, why don't you?' Sirius snapped, then rolled his eyes 'yes, a code of some sort. Here, you know more than we do.'

Remus took the slip of paper, and with a jolt, I recognized it. Those words were familiar, and anyone familiar with Slytherin would recognize the wording. I'm surprised Sirius didn't get it. He all but laid it out.

'Well,' he said after a minute 'The beginning is obviously directions to the Slytherin common room, although useless- we already knew where that was. It's the middle bit that's problematic now. _A friend in smoke of a girl you knew_? That's hardly helpful.'

'No,' Sirius said, highlighting it with his wand 'It's the part that makes the most sense. I knew someone who died. We buried her, James and I. My-my girlfriend.'

'Well,' I said 'there's only one way to find out. Come on.'

…

-SLYTHERIN DUNGEONS, 3:27 AM-

'_Take twenty paces to the right_…' Sirius whispered, his wand held high '_and hold your wand up to the light_.'

'What light?' Remus complained 'It's black as pitch down here. And something… slimy just fell on my shirt.'

'That's bloody disgusting.'

'Thanks, James. I just live to amuse you. Uh, wait…' Remus walked out of my line of sight, then returned with the parchment and Sirius' complaining. 'Yes! _Light_ is uppercase! It might not even be literal!'

'How can light not be literal?'

'Well,' Remus began, as the three of us groaned. Once you got him started, it took ages for him to finish. He could plant himself as a Slytherin with that mouth of his.

'What if the light isn't there? Perhaps we have to bring it.' He smiled 'how much do you know about fire?'

…

-James-

I knew this wasn't a good idea.

Remus had a huge torch that shot flames at the dank walls, almost starting the algae there on fire. He cast another charm as we once more crossed the twenty paces.

He pointed his wand at the mass, a visible cringe on his face.

'Any second now…' he whispered.

Just then, a wall of silvery smoke ran right through us, instantly blasting the world in pure white smoke that was as sharp as glass. The being shook in a whirlwind at the end of the tunnel, then collapsed the floor in a puddle as silvery as unicorn blood.

'What the bloody hell was that!' Sirius yelled as the torch finally gave out.

'Whatever it was, it worked.' I said quietly, walking up to the puddle, which had now began to glow.

The other three followed me, and we all stared at it until Sirius broke a sob.

'Merlin. Its, it's her.'

Just as a teardrop hit the smoke, the sound of a death scream hit the air, and then all was silent.

…

**Just as I promised, double! I hope you liked it, and please for the love of- oh, never mind. Just review!**

**And edited, to get rid of those pesky errors. **

**This story is now going to be updated once a week or so, I don't know yet. I have finals in June, but I'll try my best. **

**Anyone going to YC? Jeez, I wish I went now:(**

**Love,**

**Violet Sky**

**(yes name change. Its still me though!)**


	55. Midnight Melodies

**Listening to: Death and All His Friends & Fix You- Coldplay**

_The other three followed me, and we all stared at it until Sirius broke a sob._

'_Merlin. Its, it's her.'_

_Just as a teardrop hit the smoke, the sound of a death scream hit the air, and then all was silent._

…

-James-

The smoke settled instantly, and out of the liquid, (as a flower blossoming) a mirror of a person appeared; forming legs, arms and a ghastly face in the dungeons light. It was an Inferi, but… not. She wasn't solid as they are, and her words were garbled- I couldn't understand a thing. But Sirius must've, his hand reaching out to her, painstakingly slowly, before it went right through her. She was speaking to him; her eyes said enough. In life, they were a brown, but as it continued, her form shivered- then awakened again, almost if she was debating whether or not to continue.

The three of us backed into the far wall, watching the wall of curling whiteness evolve our best-friend. He nodded as if he understood, trying again and again to hold in the dam of tears- but with a smile, she broke it; breaking him. Sirius stood in the center around her, turning to catch her face in the white light, catching every word she said. His girlfriend picked her hand, and with a sad smile, dried the tears off his face, lingering slightly before she turned.

She was wearing a pure white dress, and her hair was floating above her head. With a start, I realized that she wasn't even touching the ground.

Then she looked at me.

And suddenly I understood.

'_I cannot stay.' _she whispered, speaking as though in a nightmare '_this is not the place for the dead, but I must relay a message. Do you understand?'_

I nodded feverishly.

'_There is trouble with another, a brother of one close to you.' _she said, her eyes shutting then opening again, her white dress moving as if it were in a breeze_ 'The Dark Lord is not yet convinced he is of service. Regulus Black is in grave danger.'_

'Who sent you?' I asked quickly, instantly seeing her mutilated body in her mind, I shut them and continued 'what happened? We-we buried you. We watched you die!'

Slowly, she raised her hands above her hand in a wide arc, and in a burst of white light, writing in fire appeared above us, each letter formed with a shaking hand.

'_I never thought it would come to this, but Sirius, I need you. Be the brother I knew and give me a hand. I don't know if I'll make it out of this, he's too strong. I had no idea what I was getting myself into; this is the worst I could have ever expected. I don't know how Bella and Lucius do it; You-Know-Who is deceiving; and far more powerful than what we give him credit for. He'd kill me for what I know. Siri, please-'_

Sirius yelled in outrage, slicing his hands through the smoke, his wand disintegrating the pearls of smoke that his brother conjured. The girl he knew cried out in pain as his hands went through her, tears screaming down her face as her body faded, faded until she was nothing more than a lingering scream and luminescent residue, before even that fell to dust. Sirius looked around with a face I had never seen before, his eyes needy for the one thing we couldn't give him.

With a scream, he pounded the walls with his fists; rubble and ashes falling into his hair and body. He screamed and yelled and cried, only pausing to rush his hands through his hair nearly pulling it all out the hard way. The three of us didn't know what to do, until Sirius pulled out his wand, sobbing as he blasted the door with fire, following close behind.

'Sirius!' Remus yelled, pulling him back by his arms 'Padfoot! What on EARTH are you doing? YOUR BROTHER COULD BE DYING AND YOU DON'T CARE? THIS ISN'T _HELPING!_ James, help me!'

Sirius struggled and yelled- the torch falling to the floor before either of us could catch it. Peter ran over to help, but Sirius slammed him to the ground- only he didn't get back up, sitting on the slippery stones and moss in fear. I walked over to my best friend, (giving Peter a meaningful look as I passed) and took him out of Remus's arms, watching my best mate collapse in tears.

Watched him sob into my arms.

Watched the shade fall through the floor.

Watched my Lily slip and fall on the red cobblestones.

Watched, just watched.

And held, experiencing the same that they are- my tears falling with theirs.

Again and again, I stand here.

'Why, James? Why me?'

Why him?

…

-Sirius-

_Siri, please…_

I yelled in defeat, my hands going to my hair, then letting go as tears prickled my cheeks. I slammed my fists on the casement instead, ignoring anyone and anything that could be happening. The nervous wind slammed into my face as a brute force, almost forcing me from its sill. I kept my hands still, my eyes catching the burning dawn in its course, seeing the stars glittering from their swings in the skies. I refused to smile, because that was _his_ favourite thing to see. _His_ favourite, the brother who came running back to me even after all this time.

I couldn't believe it, _wouldn't _believe it, why shouldn't I abandon him like he abandoned me? Leave him in the dust; throw my little brother into the wind of a curse he didn't hope to deserve. And why shouldn't I? I had every right.

James came up beside me, putting his hands next to mine on the dorms windowsill. He looked out onto the skies, breathing deeply at the sight.

**You told me you cared about him.**

I didn't know it would go this far.

**You told me you loved him, Sirius. He was your best friend.**

I don't even know him anymore.

**He's your brother; he's your only brother.**

Only, but he made his choice, and I've made mine.

**He doesn't deserve it. What if it was you?**

He isn't me. He will never be me.

**A Death Eater, Sirius. This isn't going to last!**

I don't care anymore.

**But you do care. You care for him; you and I both know it.**

Not him, not now.

**What if you could care? Where did it go, Sirius?**

What go? I have everything I will ever need.

**No you don't. You will never forgive yourself, I know you enough for that.**

I don't need forgiveness. An apology isn't going to do anything.

**He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is too strong, what if-**

It won't. He just needs time.

**Time doesn't heal wounds that deep. Think about that, Sirius.**

…

-Lily Evans-

_Dear Lily,_

_So it's Petunia's wedding soon._

_Oh I hope it doesn't turn out as we thought, that would be a disaster. Where did she say she's having it again, darling? I can't recall. Wherever it is, tell her I'll always be there for her. No matter what happens, we'll always love her. _

_I was with you today, had a lovely dream about us together like we used to. You were in a dressing room, and I was waiting by the door. You came out with a wedding dress on, and darling- you looked so beautiful. _

_Lils, why does that sound so familiar? _

_A long time ago, I told your father to save my own wedding tiara and veil for you girls. Give them to Petunia for me, will you? They were always meant for my girls._

_Love,_

_Mum._

I sat back on my headboard, letting her words wash over me. She was losing her memories; even these were ripped from her mind in those last days. That day _did_ happen, the day I tried on my wedding dress for the first time. It was so beautiful even sitting on a rack at the back of a store. Beautiful, just like my Mum.

I remember buying it, a huge smile on my face. She was so proud of me; her baby was all grown up. I showed it dad, twirling around for him like it used to with play dresses. Except this time, he had a tear in his eye, running towards me with the biggest smile and a kiss on the head. My parents, my lovely, wonderful parents, were all but gone; Mum's face all but a grim memory in my mind. (Petunia sitting in the dark, a grim laugh on her face. No, forget her.)

I still had that dress, charmed to be smaller- hanging on a hook in my wardrobe at home. Dad had looked at it a few times- tear tracks still evident in the shimmering whiteness of a bridal gown. I noticed whenever I came home, chocking a sob as I held it to my chest to smell her scent.

Before I left, I nicked Mum's perfume from her vanity, wearing it like a muse when I felt most lonely- whenever her calming words wouldn't satisfy.

A blond, brown eyed girl walked to my bedside.

-A QUICK PROFILE-

Alice Hunter was slight, with eyes like moons and freckles across her nose. Tonight, however, those eyes weren't shining, grimacing, as if they knew the news they had to bear.

…

'The Marauders are missing.'

'Missing?' I said, sitting up (my tears a long time memory, tucked neatly away in my pocket)

'Gone.' Alice said quietly 'No one's heard from them in hours.'

'Ever thought to look in their dorm?'

'Their dorm?' she said with a stretch 'Why would they be in there? Besides, we already checked there. It's a Thursday night,' she caught a look outside, the sunrise shining red on her face and the wall opposite '_morning_. But why-'

'Why not?' I asked, picking my slippers and housecoat out from under the sheets- pulling both on with a yawn and pressing stretch.

Alice sighed, walking over to me with a flower in her hair, putting it gently into a conjured vase on her bedside table. She turned to face me.

'Up all night?' Alice asked, putting a hand on my bedpost, her white nightgown contrasting with her curly hair perfectly.

'Always.' I said, taking the lead out of our dorm, listening to her coming up behind me. We reached the Common Room in record time, taking a quick left to the boy's dorms. Alice was ahead of me, but when she arrived, she froze at the door, a hand over her mouth.

-A PICTURE OF BEST FRIENDS-

Four boys, all tangled on the floor with pillows and deep red quilts, arms around one another- just the way they'd fallen asleep. Pillows and sheets strangled from the beds, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter- the Marauders, almost men, tangled arms and legs on the stone floor. The eldest, Sirius, was cradled gently in James Potter's arms, the sunlight burning gold on his tear-lined face.

…

Alice and I just stood there watching for what seemed like hours, watching the boys like mothers would over their children. Finally, just as the light peeked over the dorms window, I crept into the scene, slipping a note into James' hand, and leaving, kissing him on the cheek as I went.

…

_Looking back on it, I never would have thought this to be of such importance, but it was. It meant so much more than what I could have ever imagined. You were best-friends, and from today to all days onward, the Marauders would never go out without a trickle of hope._

_Loyal to the bitter end, I couldn't be more proud._

_Love always,_

_Lily_

…

**A little shorter than what I had expected, but I think I ended in the right place. **

**I hope you liked it and my thanks for all of your lovely reviews :)**

**-Violet Sky**

**(I know I promised Monday, but Admin locked my account. So I figure I should put a disclaimer bfore they delete this one.)**

**I, Violet Sky (ahem) do not own Harry Potter. Not now, not ever. That's the way it goes. **

**Ive been wanting to say this for awhile now, but here you go. I got lily and James to get together in sixth year because it made sense to me. Them having a hate to 'let's get married' kind of relationship somehow didn't fit in my mind. **

**I realize that this isn't 100% canon, but the details are. It's plausible, and stated. **

**Also, updates are now once a week :)**

**Please review!**


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